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Guess what i found under my sons bed... - Page 2

post #21 of 28
The knives:

It occurs to me that the behavior about knives could be

1) a behavior change for a health/chemical reason, as the other moms suggested, such as food allergy, blood sugar, nutrition issue.....


2) It could be a reaction to something else in his life. You know him best but a few things that pop into my mind are: feeling unsafe about Iraq on TV or being discussed,

reacting to the playing with other kids, if they had violent play he might be mirroring it,

imitating or reacting to something in a video game or story or movie or TV show........

As good moms as we all strive to be, we CANNOT be perfect and there are violent influences everywhere in our society. And I do limit the violence in images my kids see, but I also feel good-vs.-evil when playing can be good for kids.....it's complicated. We all have to find our own balance.

Don't know if that applies or not.....
post #22 of 28
I would try to limit his refined sugar. If he consumes too much, it could pass to the kidneys and urine. One way to tell if it is too much sugar is how his urine smells--if it smells fruity/sweet, that is one indication. This is what happens to me whenever I eat something with too much refined sugar.

Also, eating too much sugar can cause a yeast infection.

I would ask if there is anything bothering him.
post #23 of 28
Hi Kelly,
I just want to encourage you to have faith in yourself. Even if it is hard. When you find yourself thinking stuff like "maybe I just don't have what it takes" - challenge that thinking. Those thoughts are your enemy. Be strong for yourself - when you feel confident you will be able to see more clearly what is going on, and act decisively.
Best of luck to you!!!

I just wanted to add for the cause of perspective that I consider myself pretty normal and happy and successful and I did WAY stranger stuff when I was a child. If my mother brought a box of Mystic Mint cookies into the house I would consume ALL of them in a go! And I loved the powdered drink she took to gain weight so much that I drank it all the time - with obvious results as I am NOT prone to being underweight! Maybe he's just working something out - food and violence issues may be ones we just can't realistically shelter our kids from. But most of us get through them one way or another!
post #24 of 28
Who drinks straight maple syrup?
My dh pours himself shot glasses of it!

Anyway, this may be kind of OT but:

When I was 10 and living with my dad I did some of the same stuff - ate most of the mini candy bars out of the freezer, chowed down on Tang powder, and one day my dad found all the evidence under my bed and just asked if I had been eating the stuff. I confessed, since there was no way I could lie with all the wrappers there and all that, and he just said "Well, don't worry, you're not in trouble. Next time just take what you want; don't hide under the bed and eat it."

It was great to know that he was being understanding, and that he wasn't setting up further power struggles by saying "You'll never have candy again!" After that, it didn't happen anymore.
post #25 of 28
Mothering mag had a great article years ago called raising children free of food & weight problems. Some of the points it outlined was the importance of a child having their own personal food. It was suggested to have a container in the fridge of stuff that was just for a specific child. The thought was that this would prevent the hoarding caused by the thought that 'I better eat this before someone else does', mentality. I have always let my son have access to all the candy he wants from halloween treats to his Easter baskets-he keeps them in his room so I really can't keep track of how much he eats. But i can tell you every Easter/halloween when i go to reuse his basket with new treats there is always chocolate & jelly beans & lots of candy left over that I end up throwing away!(I mean GOOD stuff that I would have eaten 1st!, not just jujubees!) This always amazes me because I was just the opposite as a child & would (try to) gorge on sweets because they were doled out to me and I never got my fill. So in light of all this I would suggest giving him his own bottle of honey or syrup and saying this is just for you. Label it with his name and give him all he wants. As long as you are providing him the options of well balanced diet also he will come to kilter if given a chance. I was in an eating for emotional reasons group years ago. The 1st thing the therapist did for us was said eat all you want of whatever you want! Yippee!! I went straight to the bakery & then to the store & filled my cookie jar with candy bars. I was eating 4-6 candy bars a day on top of ice cream & whatever else. Well after about 2 weeks I wanted a baked potato as badly as I had wanted all that candy. I had satiated the place in me that hadn't ever got enough 'of the good stuff' and was able to tune into my body's real needs. I no longer obsess over sweets and give myself whatever I want, which ends up now being more healthy than any other time. My whole relationship with food is healthier because I have no limits or restrictions which I think is the cause of obsession. Seeing how this worked on my Son convinced me that not restricting sweets for good behavior or treats and seeing it as a legitimate form of sustenance -albeit inferior- has created a balance in him that is superior to my own self control. If you can get your hands on that article it is really a worthwhile read.
post #26 of 28
sugar is as addictive as heroin in my opinion. i would talk to someone in overeaters anonymous. I am not saying take him there, don't!!!!!!!!!! Just get some feedback. It sounds like he is wanting to escape from feelings for some reason.
post #27 of 28
Another person who craves sweets when she needs protein.

try eliminating a lot of carbs and replacing it with lots of good tasting protein.

Get him in on the cooking/shopping. Just an idea.
post #28 of 28
I used to sneak and hoard sweets and other junkfood too.

There is a book that I haven't read yet, but I have heard great things about: Preventing Childhood Eating Problems (sorry, I couldn't give a Powell's link because their website is apparently down). I have recently started reading their book for adults (Overcoming Overeating), and I like what I see so far.

Their recommendations are along the lines of what myrhhmaid recommends -- allowing children more freedom with their food.

I do some of the things myrhhmaid does as well these days. When the girls get lots of candy for whatever holiday (most recently Easter -- my MIL goes insane), instead of keeping it from them I put all of it in a big basket, right out where anyone can take whatever they want from it whenever they want it. It is incredible to watch how moderate my children are with it. They take just a couple of pieces a day, and it lasts forever. When I used to hide the candy, they constantly begged, and when they got hold of it, they couldn't stuff their faces fast enough -- which was exactly how I was my entire childhood and still am to a certain extent. That's why I'm reading their adult book.
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