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How to achieve natural birth? - Page 3

post #41 of 49
Aprildawn

Quote:
i also believe it's in your hands, not your ob's, not your dh's, not your doula's.
VERY good point - I think it is so important to take ownership of your choices and to realize that you are ultimately the only one who can make those choices. I loved how you explained the reasons you couldn't have a homebirth (lots of circumstantial things that are not your fault) but then followed that by saying "it's a choice i'm making". Kudos to you for being making an informed decision instead of simply accepting circumstances! That is the root of empowerment!

In fact, if a woman does not own her choices, I think hiring a doula can actually be counterproductive - because it can give her yet another person to hand her power to. When one of my clients has a doctor pushing for an induction past forty weeks (or another intervention that is not medically indicated) I talk a lot about the difference between 'Accepting' and 'Choosing', and how the difference between those can have huge impact for the outcome of the birth and on the moms perception of and feelings about the birth after the fact (not just in two weeks, but in two years, or ten).

Every single choice that is made in birth ultimately must (or at least should) belong with the mother - even with an intervention is medically indicated and things happen that are not what she hoped and dreamed off - the final decision still belongs to the mother. I believe that it is when the mother is not able to, is prevented from, or is not open to taking on that empowered role, that many regrets crop up after all is said and done.

So the question is - how do we, as women, make that change from handing over these decisions, relinquishing our choices, accepting what is offered and feeling as if we have no other options - to actively CHOOSING our own paths and our own births? Birth Professionals: how do you help your clients do this? Birth Consumers: How did you do this for yourself/how did someone else help you to this point (or how come you found yourself unable to)?

Jeanette
post #42 of 49
bumped up for RyansMom
post #43 of 49
hi steph, i see you are in SJ. have you looked into blossom birth services? they are in mountain view and have tons of good natural birthing stuff. they can also reccommend a doula (they have a meet the doulas night for free once a week, i think). they are on the web at www.blossombirth.com

also, a wonderful midwife/doula down south is ronnie falcao. her webiste is www.gentlebirth.org and she is a warm and wonderful person. she would probably point you in a good direction if she couldn'thelp you out herself.

and oh my goodness, ITS NOT TOO LATE TO HAVE A HOMEBIRTH!!!! we have some great homebirth midwives in the bay area. PM me if you need more resources.
post #44 of 49
oh, sorry i missed page 2 of this thread before i posted up there. i just wanted to confirm that there are no free standing birth centers on the peninsula or SF or east bay. the closest is in pleasanton. its called the birth home and is awesome, but WAY far from SJ. would take you hours to get there especially during rush hour.
post #45 of 49
ITA, Jeanette!

"So the question is - how do we, as women, make that change from handing over these decisions, relinquishing our choices, accepting what is offered and feeling as if we have no other options - to actively CHOOSING our own paths and our own births?"

For me, it was first of all realizing that giving over my power utterly failed to get me what I wanted, and second, coming to understand that the experts did not actually know better than me what I needed and how I should best give birth, and third, that no matter how much of my power I gave away, I was still ultimately responsible for whatever happened.

Still, the "patient" role was (and still is) deeply ingrained in me, which is one reason that I eventually decided not to hire professional birth attendants -- it was just too hard not to fall into that pattern with them, despite intellectually understanding that it would be harmful to do so.
post #46 of 49
blueviolet,
Since I've agreed with about 99% of your posts (can't think of any i haven't agreed with - but there must have been some ) I am highly flattered that you agreed with mine!

Way past my bedtime now, but will be back to write more tomorrow

J.
post #47 of 49
Wanted to add, for the OP who's feeling discourage. Have a look at the "Natural Birth in a Hospital" thread on this same forum. There are lots of great suggestions there, too, on giving birth in the hospital.
I had 4 natural births, 3 of them in the hospital, and they were the greatest experiences in my life. It can be done.
post #48 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks bunny's mama! Blossom birth services is doing their "Meet the Doula" night every 2nd Friday and we found out about it too late for the last one. We're going to try and go this week (I work nights, so I have to change my schedule). After talking to doulas & all, we may hire one.

Thanks doctorjen for the other thread suggestion!

Thanks everyone for their advice. I'm feeling much better about this. I know it's up to me to be my own advocate. I do feel I am well educated and I feel like I will be most comfortable giving birth in the hospital. I do feel like birthing at home is a beautiful experience, but we are just not comfortable with that at this time. (Next time? ) Hubby & I will be trying to stay at home as long as possible and we have certain plans/ideals, but we will remain flexible and go with the flow.
post #49 of 49
Yay, Steph! I'm so excited for you!

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