Aprildawn
VERY good point - I think it is so important to take ownership of your choices and to realize that you are ultimately the only one who can make those choices. I loved how you explained the reasons you couldn't have a homebirth (lots of circumstantial things that are not your fault) but then followed that by saying "it's a choice i'm making". Kudos to you for being making an informed decision instead of simply accepting circumstances! 
That is the root of empowerment!
In fact, if a woman does not own her choices, I think hiring a doula can actually be counterproductive - because it can give her yet another person to hand her power to. When one of my clients has a doctor pushing for an induction past forty weeks (or another intervention that is not medically indicated) I talk a lot about the difference between 'Accepting' and 'Choosing', and how the difference between those can have huge impact for the outcome of the birth and on the moms perception of and feelings about the birth after the fact (not just in two weeks, but in two years, or ten).
Every single choice that is made in birth ultimately must (or at least should) belong with the mother - even with an intervention is medically indicated and things happen that are not what she hoped and dreamed off - the final decision still belongs to the mother. I believe that it is when the mother is not able to, is prevented from, or is not open to taking on that empowered role, that many regrets crop up after all is said and done.
So the question is - how do we, as women, make that change from handing over these decisions, relinquishing our choices, accepting what is offered and feeling as if we have no other options - to actively CHOOSING our own paths and our own births? Birth Professionals: how do you help your clients do this? Birth Consumers: How did you do this for yourself/how did someone else help you to this point (or how come you found yourself unable to)?
Jeanette
Quote:
| i also believe it's in your hands, not your ob's, not your dh's, not your doula's. |
That is the root of empowerment!In fact, if a woman does not own her choices, I think hiring a doula can actually be counterproductive - because it can give her yet another person to hand her power to. When one of my clients has a doctor pushing for an induction past forty weeks (or another intervention that is not medically indicated) I talk a lot about the difference between 'Accepting' and 'Choosing', and how the difference between those can have huge impact for the outcome of the birth and on the moms perception of and feelings about the birth after the fact (not just in two weeks, but in two years, or ten).
Every single choice that is made in birth ultimately must (or at least should) belong with the mother - even with an intervention is medically indicated and things happen that are not what she hoped and dreamed off - the final decision still belongs to the mother. I believe that it is when the mother is not able to, is prevented from, or is not open to taking on that empowered role, that many regrets crop up after all is said and done.
So the question is - how do we, as women, make that change from handing over these decisions, relinquishing our choices, accepting what is offered and feeling as if we have no other options - to actively CHOOSING our own paths and our own births? Birth Professionals: how do you help your clients do this? Birth Consumers: How did you do this for yourself/how did someone else help you to this point (or how come you found yourself unable to)?
Jeanette
would take you hours to get there especially during rush hour.
) Hubby & I will be trying to stay at home as long as possible and we have certain plans/ideals, but we will remain flexible and go with the flow. 
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