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UC support thread #7, July '04 - Page 8

post #141 of 185

did you have a backup plan?

how did those of you who UP/UC line up a back up? I will be a VBAC and am a little worried about it. I am coming to the conclusion I do not really want to see anyone when I get pg (except possibly a mw friend out of state) I can keep track of my weight,BP,sugar,protein,etc otherwise. we don't plan to have an u/s or any other kinds of tests unless indicated. what did you mamas do? how do I provide proof of pregnancy also if I never saw a provider? I am kind of really stressing over this so am looking forward to hearing what others have done..

CHANDAR- your birth story is just beautiful and inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing. I thought that was so cute about your daughter waking up because she heard the baby crying.lol. I also adore the name Lilah Ruth!

AmyD- this sort of would worry me if someone wanted me to get into the mind set THEY wanted me to. wtf? especially her telling you to stop *reading*. does she want you to be uninformed? this is not her birth and you are so right this is who you are and you are doing exactly what you should be doing (being yourself). why should you have to conform? especially in labor? your body will be taking over at that point anyway so what is her problem? I would confront her directly on this if I were in your position. I don't really understand why she is worried either. Sounds like you are doing fine and KNOW you're doing fine. If you are getting stressed maybe it's time to find someone else? I am sorry you are going through this (((hugs)))
post #142 of 185
Originally Posted by lovemygirl
: My braxton hicks contractions picked up yesterday and the day before due to all of this stress. I went from having 1-2 a day to nearly 8 in one day. I know those contractions are good and 8 isn't a big deal but to go from nearly none to a whole bunch, especially ones that are intense to say the least, made me a little worried lastnight.

I noticed that we have similar due dates, and when I read you have only 1-2 BH a day, I freaked! I have been having BH since I was about 15 weeks, and now I have them pretty much continously throughout the day, sometimes so strong now that I can't walk or have to stop what I am doing and deal with them. This is my first baby, so I just assumed this is normal. Any thoughts, ladies?


Find a new midwife! Or, if you can't do that, don't call her when you go into labor...the ole' "...Oops! The baby came so fast.." story! :LOL
post #143 of 185
Thread Starter 
Rainbowmoon, I do think it is a good idea (for me anyway) to know someone who can help me out if I end up needing something I can't provide for myself. Better than relying on a stranger. The midwife who attended my second birth is supportive of UC, and I have kept in touch with her. I'm also friends with another midwife, our very own Pamamidwife! who is of course also supportive of UC. I kind of just fell into these associations naturally, and I realize that makes it easier for me. But it's possibe to start from scratch -- I know someone who has done this, actually, and it has taken some serious searching, but she has finally found a back-up she is happy with.

Amy -- oh my gosh, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with Rainbowmoon about just being honest with your midwife and how to go about that (that is, if you decide you need her to CYA.) As for your family -- I don't mean this to sound snarky, but don't know of a better way to put it -- why do you still have contact with them? I mean, I guess it's just hard for me to imagine having a trusting and loving relationship (what family is about) with someone who threatened to report me to the authorities because they didn't like my parenting choices.
post #144 of 185

Thank you for the replies so far. In my MW's defense, I believe her "no reading" crap is b/c she wants me to just trust my body. So I do give her some credit for that. Her delivery is just terrible.

And you are so not being snarky Linda. But I should have expanded that before I got pregnant I cut a good amt of toxic family members out of my life, and I am feeling wonderful about it I no longer talk to my father, but I talk to my brother, and I don't want to put him in a difficult situation. As it is, my dad's gf will "sh*t a brick" when she finds out I'm homebirthing. Again, living in Vermont, I'm very lucky as it is one of the safest places to homebirth in the country, so I have "that" on my side. My MIL is a different story, something we are working on in marriage counseling But, I do not talk to this woman, and when she sees us, she ignores me, so it works out well. Families are great aren't they

post #145 of 185
hi, everyone! i need some advice from some trusted mamas---what can i do about a pinched nerve in my middle back? the pain is severe, and i didn't sleep but maybe an hour last night. it hurts to lay on my side---it hurts to breathe. hurts when baby kicks from inside, hurts when my toddler kicks me on the outside.

my biggest concern is that it won't go away---how can i possibly be in any shape to birth with this??? i'm really upset. i'm about to go to the hf store and see about skullcap, black haw and some st/ john's topical oil. i cannot fathom anyone touching it--chiro, etc. any opinions on accupuncture? i do not want to go to a dr...but at this point, i'm just stressed out. morphine sounds good

(i'm about 36 wks or so)
post #146 of 185

I highly recommend going to a chiropractor to have an adjustment to release a pinched nerve. You will feel 100% better about 24 hours later. Ice is also good to relive the pain due to inflammation. I am 33 weeks, and just had an adjustment last week. I didn't have a pinched nerve, but I was having a lot of lower back stiffness/achiness due to a fall on my sacrum in my first trimester and I feel sooo much better now.
post #147 of 185
StacyL - I have seen an acupuncturist before and liked it an incredible amount. But my problem was not a pinched nerve. For that, I would think chiropractor also.
post #148 of 185
I say a chiropractor throughout this last pg and it really helped!!

post #149 of 185
So, I've been doing some thinking, and I'm really thinking of dropping my midwife. She's sweet and laid back, but she will still be there, YKWIM? And after reading the story about (I think Chandar's) birth w/the placenta taking 5 hrs, I know that she would be freakin' out if that was happening, and that I'm sure would effect me, and effect the speed of my placenta.

I've had two birthing dreams in the past 2 nights. In the 1st one, I birthed a girl and realized that I had forgot to call my midwife, OOPS.

Last night's was a doozy though. I was laboring in a hospital w/2 other women. There was a midwife present (not my midwife). Well one woman was having contractions, so the midwife started jumping on her abdomen "to help". She's freaking out, I'm freaking out, we escape, 3 laboring pregnant women running in the hospital and we find a small room and I'm trying to lock the door, but the midwife keeps pushing against it. Finally I lock it and the 3 of us birth our babies by ourselves, no problems. I have a little boy in this one.

My body is trying to tell me something and I think I need to listen.

I just spoke for awhile w/a friend who does pregnancy support and such. As we're talking I'm thinking, "geez, I would much rather give her the money that I'm paying my midwife".

So, I'm going to try this out a little bit while having the option of having the midwife. I also need to talk to my husband quite a bit. :LOL

I'm going to start giving myself prenatals and see how that feels. What do you all do about blood pressure readings? And do you all pee on a stick? And where do you get your sticks? Anyone listening to the baby w/a fetoscope and/or stethoscope?

I'm going to buy the Laura Stanley book (finally) and the Emergency Childbirth one.

Okay, I'd love to hear your responses.

post #150 of 185
I'm not doing a UP but just a UC (that will be called an "accident"). Just the same, we are preparing ourselves for the UC. DH listens to the baby's heartbeat with an empty roll of toilet paper sometimes so that he can be familiar with the rhythm of it. Even if I had a choice to UP (don't have that choice), I think I would want to do things like the urine testing and checking my BP. I would not do all the STD testing just because I already know they are negative. And maybe I would want the general blood work-up because that is how I learned that I'm anemic.
post #151 of 185
AmyD-I totally think you should listen to what your intuition is telling you. btw if you go to your local firehouse they will take your BP for free. I think you can get the pee sticks from Cascade.

Linda thanks for your advice..
post #152 of 185
I could have written a lot of your post. Ihave done a UP/UC with my last preg and had every intention of doing so with this one. Except for DH. Its not that he fears something will go wrong as he knows we are capable and able to do this. Its that he fears his command court martialing him b/c we did a up/uc. So to ease that I have agreed to a mw.

And upon first meeting she seems nice, very crunchy and down to earth. But like yours she wants to see me every 4 weeks until 7 mths and then every 2 weeks after that. HUH? I am low risk completly healthy there is no need for me to be seen 15+ times, none at all. I don't want the tests I dont need to be monitored i can take care of myself better than anyone else.

The more I think about this m/w the more I get the feeling she isn't as "hands off" or "laid back" as she wants me to believe. I DONT want to go see her and I DONT want her here at the birth. I have my 1st official appt with her in Aug and I am going to talk to her baout being seen only 5 more times just to CMA. And then cal her when the baby is crowning. She is 35 min away so I would have time to have the baby and get comfortable before she intrudes. Now to somehow manage to get that far into labor without DH calling.

I wish I had some advice for you My inlaws and family don't seem too concerned with my method of birthing. At least not enough to interfere. My dad thinks its pretty groovy lol but he is an old hippie.
post #153 of 185
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
how did those of you who UP/UC line up a back up? I will be a VBAC and am a little worried about it. I am coming to the conclusion I do not really want to see anyone when I get pg (except possibly a mw friend out of state) I can keep track of my weight,BP,sugar,protein,etc otherwise. we don't plan to have an u/s or any other kinds of tests unless indicated. what did you mamas do? how do I provide proof of pregnancy also if I never saw a provider? I am kind of really stressing over this so am looking forward to hearing what others have done..
With dd (my last pg and first up/uc) I did not have a backup. A friend of mine did introduce me to her midwife via the telephone just so I could have some help attaining the BC.

You can go down to planned parenthood at any time in your pg and take a pg test to have your pregnancy documented. I took a test at the base clinic with dd so i would have it on record.

I don't want a backup this time and want to go up/uc but my husband is preventing it. I am really getting frustrated with this. Thank goodness I am only a few weeks along and have time to really talk to him about this.
post #154 of 185
Hi, everyone! I'm back from the chiropractor! I had a vertebrae out of place that was pressing on my rib and causing the muscles to spasm. I feel SO much better. I'm actually able to think about birthing this baby again

At my last prenatal (with my very laid back, hands-off mw), we talked her comfort level w/UC and things of that nature. What I took away is that although she's unlicensed, she still has her own rear end to consider first and foremost. We talked about how few mws will do breeches anymore, and she said she knew of quite a few who went to jail b/c of it across the country. It solidified in my mind why I want to do this by myself. Although she's a wonderful mw, she still has to keep in mind lawsuits....how this would affect my birth I can only begin to predict. This conversation really paralled one I'd had w/my backup OB about the only C/S OBs get sued for is the one they don't perform......
post #155 of 185
Originally Posted by AmyD
I'm going to start giving myself prenatals and see how that feels. What do you all do about blood pressure readings? And do you all pee on a stick? And where do you get your sticks? Anyone listening to the baby w/a fetoscope and/or stethoscope?
Okay, I wont comment on the midwife stuff. But here's what I am doing for prenatal care:

-Walking 2x/week and swimming 1x/week (or more, if I can!)
-Eating good wholesome food (as much as I am able, though I admit to way to much fast food!)
-Yoga, affirmations and positive visualizations
-BP at the drug store 1x/month
-Pee strip tests (I tend to have lots of UTI and possibly liver problems) I bought these at http://www.anytestkits.com/urine-tests.htm. You could probably get ones that just test glucose, protein, and ketones, and that's be enough. But since I was worried about UTIs, these were better for my purposes
-Random blood sugar checks with my glucometer (I have insulin resistance, possibly had GD before and have very high risk for type 2- this is something I'd do anyway.)
-Weight checks (just 'cause it keeps me from going overboard w/ the ice cream. )

I have started measuring my fundal height or listening w/ the fetoscope yet as I think it's too early. I do have a fetoscope from my last pregnancy, and it's nice just to have a listen now and then. I got it from cascade for about $20.

I keep all this info in a database on my computer. If, Lord Forbid, anything were to happen that required emergency care, I could print it out and bring it in to the hospital saying, "here are my records." (I also have a "medical history/ family history" page in there.) That's about the extent of my "back-up plan." I just don't feel the need to do anything else, and I find it a soothing ritual to check and record all that data.
post #156 of 185
Thread Starter 
I go to a drugstore for my blood pressure. Normally I don't worry about it, check it only when I'm not feeling right, but a while back I was having dizzy spells so I checked it and it turned out it was low. Not much I could do about it, but I still felt better knowing. I also listen for the baby's heartbeat with a fetoscope once in a while. Not monitoring or measuring anything else.

Jennie -- being at an unassisted birth is not illegal, what basis would they have for court martialing your dh for it? What about consulting with a lawyer about it? ETA: just remembered that it *is* illegal to be practicing medicine without a license, and they could spin it that way. What a crock that normal birth can be legally considered a medical event. :

Georgia, I'm sorry to say that crunchy indeed does not mean hands-off! Remember, Ina May Gaskin is about as crunchy as they come.
post #157 of 185


I am military family also (my dh is a CO). I don't understand your dh's statement that he could be courtmartialed for a HB. Exactly how does he explain that? There is nothing that Tricare can do to "make" you use their services. You could have a HB with a midwife and she can bill Tricare if you want to, but there is nothing stopping you from a UC (unless it's your dh). I went to the initial appt. to confirm the pregnancy so that I got the "Global Pregnancy Authorization" from Tricare. This was to cover us in the event of an emergency hospital transfer. Even though the OB gave me the usual long list of appts., I only went to the ones I wanted to.
post #158 of 185
He really hasn't explained just says this command is very strict. I don't see why he can't say the same thing he did last time tho, that we did have a m/w at the birth. I am in tune enough that if I feel something is wrong we would have plenty of time to transfer and call the m/w.

We have a lot to talk about regarding this. I think he thinks since tricare pays for hb now that that is the reason I should have a m/w and why we didn't last time. I admit part of the reason in the beginning for chosing the uc was money issues but after reading and researching it changed. *sigh* I really can't imagine doing this any other way than uc.
post #159 of 185
Jenniebug-I feel your pain with your DH. my sweetie was really scared last time to UC..then he saw me end up with a c/s and severe life threatening complications afterwards. his tune has sure changed now! The fact is it's not illegal to UC. Do you think he's using the court marshall threat as an excuse to not UC? Is there a way you can find out for sure he'd be court marshalled? Can't he just say that you hired a mw and the baby came too fast or something? What if you hired a MW and didn't call her that way there's proof you did have someone lined up as your provider. Or maybe he can just say he wasn't home if he's worried about it, right? Maybe there is another underlying reason for his hesitation this time? btw there was another mama on one of the birthy e-lists I'm on (Empowered Childbirth @ yahoogroups) that did a UC on base, so I know it's been done before!
post #160 of 185
Ive done the UC in base housing before too. Our last one was born in HI. He was scared but seemed really calm during the birth and afterwards said he couldn't imagine birthing any other way. Now his tune has changed totally. We are in CT so I understand ppl aren't as laid back here.

Last time when he was putting up resistance I told him I hoped he wasn't home when I went into labor so I coul dbirth my way. I would hate to have to bring it to that again.

I am going to talk to my neighbor who just did a UC and her husband is a chief. I will see what she says about all this. I am sure she can help me find out if he can be court marshalled for having a uc or not.

We have hired a mw and frankly I don't even want to see her at all. Not that she isn't very nice, she is and she is uber crunchy. But I get the feeling she isn't as hands off as she claims to be. I ramble on and on
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