Household chores

[mmarlene8]

Do you give your kids extra chores during summer vacation? Do you have any trouble getting them to do their assigned chores in general? Do you pay an allowance for household work?

What are your kids’ least and most favorite chores to do around the house?

My two boys HATE doing the dishes, but the whole family takes turns, so they see it as fair and don’t grumble too much. Jake sometimes needs threats of grounding before he’ll clean his room, but Jeff usually keeps his clean without us saying anything. They both really like vacuuming the floors, because they get to use the Roomba. They even fight over who gets to do it! They really like the idea that it’s a ‘real’ robot.

Bye,
Marlene
The best mirror is an old friend.
-George Herbert

Mom to Jacob, 10 & Jeff, 12
Part-time CPA
Full-time chocoholic!

[MommaCheesehead]

Damian is supposed to keep his room clean, put his clothes in the laundry, empty the dishwasher, set the table and clean up at dinnertime and vacuum the pool once a week.

It's a constant struggle to get him to do any of it. I have to get on him constantly to do it and he moans and groans about it the whole time. He's supposed to get an allowance but hasn't for quite some time.

Yesterday he did everything without being told including cleaning the pool which he really hates to do. I know there's a catch He's getting ready to ask me for something I'm sure.

[Alkenny]

Paige has to keep her room clean, put away her own laundry (she takes it upon herself to fold her own while I'm folding ) and do the dishes....The dishes are our struggle. She's on the other side of the bar doing them as I type and glaring daggers at me and I've heard a couple of mumbles of "I hate you"....ugh! Everyday lately is a challenge. *sigh*

[TwinMom]

Maggie and Kate (both 10) take turns setting the table, helping to take out the trash and recycles, and emptying the dishwasher. They put their own laundry away, though I still sort it and hang up on hangers. They tidy their rooms every few days. That's about it for now. When we get back from vacation I'm going to teach them how to wash laundry so it will be all their responsibilities. They get an allowance, but not for doing chores.

[Sally Loves]

Mine are still a little too young for chores, but they love our roomba too. Mandy wanted to take it in for show and tell when we first got it! LOL. But it’s a little too expensive to trust to a first grade class, we decided. They love to show their friends whenever they come over, though.

For now they ‘help’ me make cookies (mostly by licking the spoon), feed the cats every morning, and put their toys away. Ellen was also very good about helping with her little sister when she was still a baby.

Best wishes,

Sally

*****
MOM to
Lindsey (3)
Dustin (6)
Ellen (8)

[Mylie]

Greg does help around the house as I work 2 jobs.He is homeschooled also.He doesn't care for the jobs but he does them.He doesn't do anymore in the summer than the off seasons thought.But he is quicker to get them done in the summer because of the pool,water park ect...He wants to go.He does get an allowence of $5 a week.Now he gets it for respectfullness,responsibility and helpfullness.In other words if he doesn't mouth off,does his chores without a fight and is responsible about checking in ect...he gets the cash.His regular chores are:

Clean cat box every other day
Feed the cats
Clean and vacum his room every Friday
Take out trash as needed

Then on Saturdays he dusts while I clean.Also if he wants to make extra money what I do is list some jobs that I would normally do myself with a cash amount it is worth.I post it on the fridge and if he does the job the $ is his.But he has to have his regular chores done first.

He is 14 so money is pretty important to him right now.But he is also learning to do things like clean a bathroom,load a dishwasher,wash laundry,vacum out the couch..ect.. Stuff he will have to do for himself when he goes to college and lives on his own.And he is also learning to become a pretty good cook and baker.I think giving a child chores and responsibility is good for them.They may not like it but it will benifit them in the long run. Love Mylie xx

[Dar]

I don't believe in assigning "chores" - I'd rather focus on living together as a family and helping out, and so we do. Rain (11) does dishes and cooking and dog-feeding and walking and general picking up and mopping and all that, as needed - either she sees that it needs doing, or else I ask her and she generally helps.

I've given Rain allowance in the past, and I've just given her money in the past. Whatever works. She just had a theatre job that paid pretty well, so right now she has plenty of money in the bank. I give her money to do specific things sometimes, like if a group is going to the movies.

Dar

[hser5]

My kids are *supposed* to empty the dishwasher, brush their teeth, change clothes and bathe on a daily basis. Yep, those are chores and they grumble mightily about them. : They also sort their laundry (I wash and dry), put away everyone's laundry and unload the groceries on a weekly basis. They get an allowance and extra money if they mow the yard They are entering their teens and money is beginning to be important to them.

Since we homeschool, summer isn't much different from fall/winter/spring as far as extras go so other than mowing, which can be year round some years, no, they don't do extras. They don't get paid for chores either. The allowance is separate; they have both gone out of town for a week or 2 here and there and they still get their palty pennies from us

Now clean rooms are another matter altogether. I wish they would clean them, but they don't. Only when a guest is coming over or it just gets so bad that I ask them to clean as a mother's day gift for me. This was a battle we decided not to choose. It's their rooms, if they lose something in them or can't find clean clothes, that's their choice. I can shut their doors if I need to and have many times.

Lauri

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

I am a foster parent to FOUR teenage BOYS....along with my own two birth children...our home is very lived in, busy and oh my goodness CRAZY...

So, my teenagers have one chore assigned to them on Sundays. Chores rotate every Sunday. If they are asked more than 2 times during the week to redo their chore or to simply DO their chore...they get to keep the same chore for an additioanl week. (They really hate this) If after the two times of beign asked to redo or to do their chore, they continue to flake it off...the get what is called service hours...work for free for however long I decide. Usually one hour for each time they are asked.
The service hours have to be completed before they can do anything out side the home. Example...go play basketball, go out with friends, use the phone, etc...
Now I also have a chore outline for each chore that is assigned. This way I don't hear "I didn't know how to" or "you didn't tell me that had to be done too"...follow me?
This system has really helped with the crazy's around chores.

Keeping their bedroom clean is NOT a chore...it is a must! If their clothes as left on the floor I take them and they have to earn them back by doing other chores around the house.
If their clothes don't get in the dirty clothes...they don't get washed...period, no exceptions!
Once a month each one of my teenagers has to make dinner. This includes making a plan for dinner, making sure we have everything for that meal, if we don't they have to let me know at least 2 days prior, and making the dinner. I do help assist them...walk them through following a recipe, etc...

I know it sounds like too much...teenagers really need structure and immediate consequences for their behavior...all kids do...however teenagers I think even more.

They also need positive feedback...so we have what is called positive and negative consequences coupons.
So, every once in a while I pull out the box of coupons. They get to pull one coupon out for their negative or positive consequence (depending on what they have done, ie: not having to be asked once to do thier chore, equals a positive consequence coupon)
Positive coupons may be, free movie for you and extra money for goodies or your choice of dinner out, ice cream out with your choice of parent...
Negative coupons may be, pick up all dog poop in back yard, wash moms van inside and out, wash dog...

The trick with the coupons is to use them when your child least expects it...they really work...and the kids love the change...ok sometimes they love the change.

Hope you enjoy some of these ideas...

[magemom]

Yes, my kids have had more chores in the summer. During the school year their main task is school work with some family work. Durring the summer it is family work.
Everyday I write a list based on what needs to be done. In the past they could choose off the list who did what, but now I let them sleep. I try to keep it varied, dishes one day, laundry the next, bathrooms, vacuming, trash. Occasionally I toss a "deep clean" item in there.

For a while I followed Flylady and would take kelly's daily missions for a few months and put them together on slips of paper- letting them choose 3 things and put back 1. That really seems to work for the odd ball things, but now while I am pregnant the day to day stuff is where I need the most help.

Now, if I could only get the 4 year old to stop making messes, that would cut chores down in half!

[UnschoolnMa]

Our family does not have assigned chores. We believe in working together as a family to make our home a comfortable place to live. The kids will occasionally pick what they want to do, or we all just do whatever needs to be done. They will sometimes ask me if I can do something (unload the dishwasher, start laundry) and sometimes I or Hubby will ask them to do stuff. There is no difference between summer and the other seasons for us as far as that all goes. Their rooms are their business. Kristi

[2tadpoles]

We believe in working together as a family to make our home a comfortable place to live.

So do we. That's why we assign them chores.... so they know what needs to be done, and they can do the jobs they're capable of doing. An Admiral may be "in charge" of a sailor, but they are still on the same team.

My 12 y.o.'s routine responsibilities are unloading the dishwasher in the mornings, bringing the trash can to the curb and back on trash days, and sorting his laundry on wash day.

My 9 y.o. has to sweep the kitchen after breakfast, bring the recycling bins to and from the curb on trash days, and sort his laundry on wash day.

They each have a small plastic bin at the foot of the stairs with their names written on them. This is where I deposit all their junk when I clean up downstairs. When the bins get full, they have to take them upstairs and put the stuff away. They both are responsible for putting their own laundry away.

Other than those things, they are asked to help as needed.

[jamminmommy]

With summer vacation, my girls have a bit more time, and they have pitched in on some bigger housecleaning projects that I have asked them to take on. They could be unusual in that they both like to clean...

[UnschoolnMa]

All I meant in my post was that we do not feel the need to assign them chores to do. We wouldnt expect them to "assign" Dh and I chores, so we don't do that either. We all just help each other and clean up as needed. Un

[Dar]

Yeah, what she said. Assigning chores is a different mindset that just working together as a family, IMO. Some days Rain doesn't do any "housework", sometimes she does a lot, depending on what needs doing and what's going on it her life. Sometimes I ask, but asking means that other person can say "no" or "yes".

My brother is a TI in the air force. He may be technically on the same team as his recruits, but I wouldn't want my family to work that way. And when we were all on vacation together last week, no one assigned chores to anyone but all five of us, ages 11 through 61, did things to help out and all the cooking, fire-making, dishes, wood-carrying, getting fishing tackle ready, and other stuff got done. My brother knows better than to bring his military role into the family

Dar

[ecstatic mama]

If after the two times of beign asked to redo or to do their chore, they continue to flake it off...the get what is called service hours...work for free for however long I decide. Usually one hour for each time they are asked.
If their clothes as left on the floor I take them and they have to earn them back by doing other chores around the house.
If their clothes don't get in the dirty clothes...they don't get washed...period, no exceptions!

I love your ideas, and your consequences, Jackie- esp confiscating the clothes on the floor I tried confiscating junk left on the floor of our family room, but it just ended up a big box of junk that no-one wanted :

I have 4 children, aged 4 to 13 , and we have assigned chores some of which rotate (feeding the dog/chickens/rats- now deceased so they decided that was a rest position) and others fixed, but they chose themselves- empty rubbish bins, make the family bed, sweep the floor. I have higher expectations of the older ones, and recognise that the younger ones need lots of reminders- I figure I am training them up!

I also figure that family life is a deal- I do things for them (eg drive them places, buy them clothes, have their friends over etc) and they do things for me. Some chores are directly linked, eg they have to clear the family room floor before I take them to school (where they REALLY want to go) and I do this with other major things. We also have clean ups in the weekends, sometimes scheduled (eg family working bees) and sometimes spontaneous Saturday morning clean ups.I also really do need, and appreciate, their help, with a big family . I don't want to get myself resentful by picking up after them in order to have a tidy house, but I have to admit that I have a high tolerance for mess

They also are on a roster to help cook dinner every night and the other 2 do the dishes. The 4 yo is starting to want to help with clearing the table. The oldest does dinner one night also.

I let them have their rooms however they like, and only complain if eg I can't get in the door to deliver the washing (then I leave it outside the door). I treat it as their own business, but I do enjoy it when they tidy up. Occasionally i might do something nice for them by helping, or tidying it up when they are away- esp my 11yo who gets wheezy when her room gets too dusty.

I also find that it works well because we have regular family meetings, where we can air our problems, find solutions, have input into domestic issues, change chores etc.

Love all your ideas, isn' t family life big and wild!
Blessings
Sarah

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

Originally Posted by ecstatic mama

I love your ideas, and your consequences, Jackie-

Awww shucks...Thanks mama... :

I have 6 children...4 teenage boys and 2 little ones, ages 5 & 3...
ALL BOYS....
So...I suppose I could try that "we are a happy loving family that does everything together bit..." However..don't think that would work very well around here.
When one has a many children as we do...there needs to...has to be another way to run things smoothly...this works for us. We all respect on another, we all love one another, we all WORK together...
I work right along with all of my kids...
That is how they have learned to work together as a family...they have been molded and shaped into young men...that know all about family!!!
Their mom, (me)...is an apprentice midwife...they surely know all about pitching in and helping out...especially when mama is away at a birth...

[Lisa Sayers]

In our house, summer is no different from the rest of the school year. The kids are expected to help around the house just like Mom and Dad. On school nights, if they are bogged down with a lot of homework, they may not have time to help out; but school comes first.

They are expected to keep their rooms clean (which is a huge chore for my son...he doesn't understand why it needs to be clean???), help with setting/clearing the table, taking out garbage, mowing the lawn, feeding the animals, folding their own laundry, vacumning, dusting and keeping their bathroom clean. Somedays I will write a list of things that needs done...they decide between the two of them who will do what.

We don't pay them an allowance...if they need something, we get it for them. The do earn their own money from working for neighbors, etc. Also, I have a business and if they work for me, I pay them. I don't believe helping around the house warrants getting paid...nobody pays me to clean, cook, chauffer! LOL

[Red]

We have the '20 minute chore'. I don't really care where they clean, so long as they do! They're usually hanging out in the living room anyway, so they wind up sweeping, dusting, picking up clutter, and removing the dog hair from the couch! They also wash, hang, fold and put away laundry, dust all the window sills, and the clutter that we call decorations.


They make all the cookies and junk food around here, as well as many of their own lunches and occassionally a dinner. I let them make things they like and make something else for DH and I usually. They willingly lend a hand making dinner, well usually they're willing. And they are often the ones to set the table. (Try 'Veggie Girl' or boy. I designated one kid a night to be the 'Veggie' kid and it was their job to prepare one vegetable. A simple salad, frozen corn, cut up a cuke and a tomato, just something quick and last minute. We ate so many more veggies that way!)

THey are responsible for feeding the bunnies, which are their own pets, and I often ask one of them to feed the dog or cats, and sometimes I beg one of them to do the goats.

The best way I've found to end the fighting is to have a list, or a rule. For the list, you plan in advance, with their help, who'll do which chores which day. Post the list on the fridge and just refer to it. So when they start to whine, you simply point to thelist and say "But it's your turn today, see?" My mother used this method and myself and 40 foster kids, and I've done it to mine. FOr some reason the fact that's it's written down makes it law. ANd the kids got a bit irritated, but more at the fact that they had to do the chore and less at the parents.

Or the rule, which in my house has become the 20 minute chore outlined above. Since I do many, many 20 minute chores in one day, and drive their backsides around, and take them to fun places, etc. they really dont' complain. I've also used the chore jar, with many chores written on slips of paper and them picking out one or two. That worked, but we eventually forgot about it.

For emergency, oh, my goodness I can't see the living room floor messes, I call for a 5 minute chore, everyone on top speed. We rush around quickly and a bit silly, and get everything quickly put away.

My daughters are slobs! They drop everything! I hate nagging.


I'd like to say that the cleaned their rooms, but that would be a lie. THey are supposed to, about once a year a group of us will attack someone's room and make it clean.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by 2tadpoles

An Admiral may be "in charge" of a sailor, but they are still on the same team.

I don't think that is a very good analogy of team players. That is a perfect example of one person having almost absolute power and control over another. If the sailor does not follow orders (unless it is an ulawful order), he faces jail. I would not want to have a relationship like that with my children.