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Yep, we're still here~Nov/Dec '02 mommas&babies~ - Page 12

post #221 of 647
what a happy time this is for us mommas! go babies go!

elwynn and i are heading out for an adventure across vancouver island to denman island for a weekend of camping fun..im pretty excited. i feel like im barely home these days, but its summer..so i should just enjoy it and not complain! i hope you all have a wonderful weekend
post #222 of 647
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Mamajaza*
My girl has peed in the potty a few times the past few days. She is going to the door of the bathroom, and we open the door and put her on the toilet, and she goes! She isn't going to waste any time on the little potty. She wants to go straight to the big one. YAY!

congrats eliyahu! You're becoming a big boy!

BeanBean likes to pee on the toilet, but I think he prefers the little potty because he can do it by himself. It's just so adorable to watch him pick the potty up and dump it into the toilet so he can flush! :LOL
post #223 of 647
Zachary has stopped asking to use the potty. He used to let us know when he had to poop by grunting and squatting right in front of us, like he was asking in his own little body language. Now he likes to sneak off and go in his diaper. It must be a control issue.

When DH or I tell him something he doesn't want to hear ("No, don't stand on the table", or "Do you want to go poop on the potty?") he says "Bye bye!" to us in a get-out-of-my-face-and-leave-me-alone tone of voice. We try not to laugh, but it's pretty funny when a 20 month old is already talking back and telling his parents to stay out of his business...

He's going through a MAJOR tantrum stage. He screams about everything. I try to get down to his eye level and say something like "I don't want to hear screaming/ I can't understand crying, you need to talk", and if he continues to scream and stomp his feet we sit him in the Time Out chair. It's helps to take a deep breath, put him in time out, and just ignore him for a minute. Then when the tantrum is over, we have hugs and a nice peace for a few minutes until it starts all over again. I guess it has to do with the other foster baby being here- we've been stuck in the house for two weeks, and I think the kids are getting bored. I don't blame them, I can't wait to take this baby home on Sunday night. Not that it hasn't been a pleasure to take care of him, but I just want my normal routine back, YK?

Another porblem is sleep. Ugh... Zach wakes up about 80 times a night screeching this bone chilling, blood curdling, horrible sound, thrashing and tossing around, just crying. I have to grab him and calm him down, get him to latch on, and just as I'm about to fall asleep, he'll wake up again, pop off the breast, and just scream. I have no idea why he's doing this. Maybe dreams, maybe just yucky vibes coinciding with the tantrums? Last night I was tempted to just put him in his room, shut the door, and not go in there until morning. But I knew that I didn't really have the heart to let him scream all night by himself, so I let him scream in bed with me and keep me up. I have horrible insomnia too, so if I have to fully awake from a deep sleep it takes me FOREVER to get back to sleep, even if I'm really tired. I hate it. I hope he starts sleeping better again soon. He was only waking once, maybe twice, a night until just recently! :

On a happier note, he's finally started to ask for breast milk . He used to just ask for "bobby", but now he'll say "Mone? Bobby mone?" while lifting my shirt. He still asks for 'mone' in a cup, and he knows the difference, so I think it's cute. I ask him "Is that good bobby milk?" and he'll smile that nipple-in-the-mouth smile and nod and say "Mmm Hmm!" :LOL

Sending peaceful labor vibes to Heather

Hope the rest of you mamas have a nice day
post #224 of 647
And since the first post was so long, I thought I'd make a second one to reply to punkpreincessmama's post...

First of all & to you, mama. I too wish that you mamas were closer so I could have some support IRL. But it helps me more than you know to be able to come here and vent, and get awesome advice...

I felt THE SAME WAY AS YOU when we went on our vacation for 3 weeks in WA. First of all, we were in a new place with w new routine, and having 3 kids adjust to all that is really difficult. We were hopping around here and there, visiting relatives and all that, so it was just a huge change that upset the harmony we had going. No one outisde our immediate family really understood that. They just thought our kids were brats, plain and simple. They didn't take into consideration that they kids were in a new place, a new environment, experiencing different weather, around new people, without the comfort of their own toys and a place to just explore and get into stuff and unwind. We were staying with my brother, who is a bachelor, and still parties, and still has these ideas in his head about how HIS kids will and will not be- you know how kidless people talk- "MY kids will NEVER do that/ MY kids won't do this/ MY kids would never act like that!!!" Yeah frickin' RIGHT! I don't care if my kids are extra whiney when they're uncomfortbale getting used to a new place, I don't care if my toddler wants to nurse at a fancy restaurant, I don't care if Crystal is handicapped and can't hear and gets into stuff, I don't care if my kids get up at the crack of dawn and wake everyone up screaming and running around- THEY'RE KIDS! What do you expect? I had to stick up for myself, and my kids, more than a time or two while we were on vacation, and it was very draining. My brother and I have always been VERY close, and we kind of had a falling out over my family. He basically said he couldn't wait for us to leave because all the kids do is cry and all DH and I do is fight about the kids. I said I was sorry to disrupt his life, and that we wouldn't be staying with him next time we visit. I know he felt bad afterward and we haven't talked about it since, but I still feel very hurt by his feelings. I guess I might have been the same way if I didn't have any kids and someone with two toddlers came to stay with me for such a long period of time... I too had all these preconceptions about how I would raise my kids and how they would and would not act, and then I had kids and REALITY set in and I realized that they are PEOPLE with their own likes and dislikes and personalities, and you can't control every aspect of someone else's life...

Anyway, I wanted you to know that we all go through this at one point or another. By choosing to follow out instincts regarding parenting, and putting our child's needs in front of others' (or our own), we look like pushovers to old-fashioned mainstream people. But I really don't care anymore. My kids will be happy, confident, and intelligent because of the way *I* (and DH) parent, not because we listened to people tell us to keep them on a military schedule and cry it out and be seen and not heard!

Sorry this is so long, I get a little bitchy over this subject! Hope you feel better soon...
post #225 of 647
Hi
don't have time to read all posts. just wanted you to know we are okay. we are in a shelter, but doing good. more later ~Anna
post #226 of 647
s lilmiss....

post #227 of 647
Anna, you and your girls are in my thoughts, and my prayers. If I was in Tucson I'd offer up my house to you! We have a camper parked on our property (my FIL's), so if worse comes to worst you can come stay with us. It's still in AZ (Apache Junction), even if it's far from your family... Hope you are all well!

post #228 of 647
Thanks for all the lovin' and wise words mamas. I am feeling better, today I finally feel like I have some of my energy back so that is a good sign. I have been focusing on my family - getting us back in our grove so to speak, reconecting on our own levels. I haven't been able to have a break and dd has been up later than usual and waking a lot at night. So I really haven't had any time to myself. The nice thing though is that each day dh has been trying to do a little something for me - a shoulder massage, a cup of hot tea, etc. and that has really nourished me.

Lil Miss, I'm glad you checked in, I've been thinking about you and your girls, please let us know if we can do anything at all to help.

hmmm, heather has been awfully quiet these past few days
post #229 of 647
Quote:
Originally Posted by casina
when you say we in your post, i infer that your dh is in some kind of agreement with you about how you are mothering.....
Yes, we are very much in sync with our parenting. he is absolutely my biggest supporter.


Quote:
Originally Posted by casina
it is very normal to run low on energy and take it out on our kids. they are our most familiar companions.
so true...


and thank you so much for your other words of advice.
post #230 of 647
Hi Mamas, just checking in to say hi. I did not read all of the posts, as I am too tired, and anxiously waiting for a nice warm bath. Hopefully it will help me sleep!!

DecemberSun, for those reasons exactly I don't want to stay with friends/family when we go to Florida to visit.
My best friend thinks that I am wierd for wanting to stay in an hotel, and has told me that on 2 occasions. Of course she is single, has a pool ( no gate !!!! ) parties hearty, and is quite loud, which doesn't make for ideal sleeping conditions for dd, who is a very light sleeper.
I have tried to explain to her that it would be better for us, but she doesn't understand.
I feel you pain, sorry for the evnt, but I sure do feel better!!!
post #231 of 647
anna.
post #232 of 647
I am still around. I have just been quiet because I was attending a scrapbook convention yesterday and today. My newest addiction. No baby yet. I had some contractions last night that weren't very consistent and that was about it. Christopher lately loves to say "baby" and hug my belly. I wonder if he is starting to understand a little. He had fun with DH yesterday and today but DH is in hotwater for not doing any laundry or dishes.
post #233 of 647
leah, i have dealt with the persistent screaming at night with reed. i'm so sorry you are exhausted. in hindsight i wonder if he had a bellyache, or just needed to pee and was holding it. that's what clay does and i have to make sure he pees before bed or he thrashes all night. but i remember not being able to do much about it at the time for reed, and just holding on to my own sanity to comfort him. sometimes i just thought he needed to let out the stress he felt. i have no words of wisdom here. except that i have for the most part forgotten it and he seems unharmed by it in the long run. maybe some earplugs can soften it for you and slow the adrenaline rise. maybe sleep him propped up a little, definitely get a fan for white noise, and maybe a nightlight. maybe an hour or two of yes answers from mamma during the day. perhaps you can target when he sleeps the longest and catch up there. for me that sometimes means sacrificing my pseudoalone time and going to bed when they do since that is their longest period. another idea i will throw out randomly is that maybe he needs to go to bed two hours earlier. my kids need to go to bed before they appear exhausted. i don't know zach's patterns though, and i'm only an expert on my own family.

reed turned 6 thursday. i realized that i finally accept him totally. i'm regretful that it took me all this time, but i'm not going to mourn it too much and i'm just glad i've hit this point. i'm seeing even more how he has benefited from my wild animal parenting and how different he really is from most children, including my other two. still my biggest teacher, my firstborn. my little much more flexible kids are lucky for that. i would have been much harder on them and a very different parent if it weren't for him forcing radical changes. i'm growing up too.

i've been feeling overwhelmed so i didn't do a lick of picking up or cleaning or cooking for the week, after religiously getting things set up every night after the kids got to bed. since i'm the only one doing it, it is now pretty bad so i'm going to go start cleaning.

anna, i wish i could open my home to you too. i'm starting to really crave starting an intentional community again.

punk, i'm so glad you have a dh feeding you so well.
post #234 of 647
Mariah does the all night scream fest occasionally too. Sometimes I am alble to figure it out (she is super sensitive to teething pain for one thing) Sometimes I can only hold her and nurse her and wait. It is the hardest parenting I do, being nice all night long, with the crying grinding on my nerves, and only wanting to sleep. Last night was a very difficult night, she wanted to nurse all night, and whenshe would finally falll asleep and I would try to roll over she would immediately wake up crying again. I had to sleep with my breast touching her, and even still she was up every hour or two to nurse again. When dh got in (he worked teh overnight shift) around 7am, she finally rolled over and slept for two straight hours, even though I was no where near her!! So now I feel like she was just missing her daddy.

Anyhow, I love that term "pseudoalone time" Casina - :LOL it's so true.... adn I have't cleaned at all either this week. I finally did some sweeeping and a bit of laundry yesterday but only because I had to. I love your intentional community idea, and if we lived in your neighborhood, we could help eachother clean, which i imagine is much nicer than cleaning alone

Speaking of birthdays, I can't believe my little one will be 2 so soon. I am amazed at how fast the time has gone, adn how different she is from the day I first saw her....

I think I have finally found my tribe with you mamas.
post #235 of 647
well, pseudoalone means i'm still on call while everyone's asleep, and dh is puttering around. i'n just not able to relax with him around, compared to when he is not here. that's what i get for having an intense marriage?
post #236 of 647
Thread Starter 
I just want to remind you moms that most mothers would not put up with their baby keeping you up all night. You should be commended on your parenting choices. You will raise healthy well-adjusted (though adjusted to a different wavelength) children and then adults.
post #237 of 647

Hi

Hi everyone, I am new here, my name is Nicole and my little girl Brianna will be 20 months old tomorrow! I am so glad I found this group, it seems like a great group of moms!
post #238 of 647
Thanks for the MamaJazza. How are you doing these days?

Bri's Mom, nice to meet you
post #239 of 647
Thread Starter 
how am I doing? well, I'm becoming comfortable with tandem nursing, enjoying the summer, doing diapers, ...

speaking of diapers, I have a problem, maybe someone would have a good suggestion.
I'm tempted to try disposable diapers for night time right now. The fuzzi bunz I use leaked last night on my wool quilt which can't be washed. yuck. I stuff the FB with hemp fleece. I just bought flece scraps, they're not "joey bunz" or whatever you call them. What should I do?

gotta run...
post #240 of 647
Jaza, BooBah's Fuzzi Bunz leaked at first, because her thighs weren't big enough for the leg holes. I sized down and didn't have that problem anymore. If it's not skinny thigh syndrome, you might try a wool soaker over the FB to prevent leaking.

I'm having a lot of fun tandem nursing, except that BeanBean is nursing more than his sister. A lot more! It doesn't bother me that he's nursing so much, but it does bother me that his sister isn't getting as much milk. He hasn't stopped eating, either... he's just added these nursings to his daily routine. It's very frustrating because there are times when his sister needs to nurse and she'll have to stay on the breast for 45 minutes just to get enough, because BeanBean has already flattened the boob. He's not gaining weight, either, just eating and nursing constantly. Anyone else have a toddler suddenly step up and start nursing more than a newborn?
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