Getting my child dressed .... vent please help

[Melda]

Ok ladies I have a stubborn one when it comes to clothes. HE is 3 years old and we live in Florida just for a lil background. HE REFUSES to wear shorts of any kind and it drives me up a wall. It is 99 degrees here on most days and if we go to the park or just out running errands or whatever he ends up sweating like a crazy man because he has long pants on.I have tried not giving him a choice, i have tried giving him 2 choices, i have tried everything i can think of short of getting rid of all his pant that i can do. I am so sick of fighting with him over this and i am sick of seeign him sweat and get crazy looks because he is dressed like we live in alaska and we live in FLorida ... please someone help me with suggestions. I am at my wits end over this ...

[mirlee]

What about cropped pants? I know I have seen them for girls. Maybe you could buy a pair of not so girly ones and see if he will wear those? Or cut the bottoms of long pants to a cropped length and hem. This way he gets his long pants desire, he gets some cook air on his legs (not that cool air is possible in Florida in July ), and you get him to wear something a little shorter.

[Piglet68]

If he doesn't have a problem with being sweaty, I would just let him be. It's his body, and if he says he's comfortable in long pants then I think you should respect that. JMHO.

[Melda]

Originally Posted by Piglet68

If he doesn't have a problem with being sweaty, I would just let him be. It's his body, and if he says he's comfortable in long pants then I think you should respect that. JMHO.

that is what i am coming to accept but it still drives me crazy ... he is very particular about his clothing. not only does he want long pants but his shirts have to button up and all the buttons must be buttoned. he also has to have certain socks and certain shoes (which i may add are boots). he is very patricular about his Pj's also. They have to be long pants and long sleeves and that is our 2nd fight of the day usually. I swear I hate mornings and nights with him. he is so difficult. I ALWAYS cave because he doesnt. He will go on for hours until he gets what he wants. I feel like this is one battle as a parent i will never win. I am hoping it is a "phase" but i am thinking it is more a personality thing. *Sigh* It almost to me seems more than just a phase ... oh well it is only clothes right?

[fayking]

this sounds like me when i was a toddler...i would often wear thick coat, boots, hat and mittens on the hottest summer days. my mum ended up leaving me to it and i can never remember being uncomfortable just impossible!

[LoveBeads]

It sounds like he has some sensory issues. Check out some of the threads on the special needs board - lots of us there have children with sensory issues and they can be extremely frustrating until you see and understand the patterns and the reasons.

You can PM me if you have any questions.

[mamalisa]

I say let him wear what he wants. I went through this with my ds and finally had to come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter. My biggest problem was how I wanted him to look, which is irrevelant. He needs to be dressed appropriately if we are going somewhere like out to dinner, but otherwise it doesn't really matter. Who cares what other people think? If he was uncomfortable, he wouldn't wear it. If he's hot he will take it off. My ds really really loves to wear jeans, a tee and a shirt over it, socks and sneakers. This is what he likes...so what if it's 90 out? He'll be hot and take some of it off. The only thing I really force is water, if he's "fweat" (as he likes to say, "Mommy, I am fweatin'.")

[mamaduck]

I agree that he should dress however he feels comfortable. However, I agree with Lovebeads that it sounds as if he has some sensory issues. There are threads on these boards about Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) that might be worth your time to read. And there is a book, that I haven't read, but seen recommened -- "The Out of Sync Child." I'm not diagnosing your kid -- just suggesting something to look into. There are definately others here who have more expertise with this sort of thing.

BTW, I have to have certain pjs (long cotton pants) in order to feel comfortable when I sleep at night. I can only wear certain socks. And I feel uncomfortable with bare legs. But I get by.

[Dar]

Yep. Let him wear what he wants. I generally have a change of clothes in the car, just in case...

Our friend Joe wore his yellow power ranger suit for 9 months or so, rain or shine, every single day. It started as a Halloween costume and actually wore out around March, and his mom was searching ebay and everywhere for a new one... much harder i March than October.

Rain wouldn't wear long pants for a year or so - not so bad in Phoenix, but January gets chilly. She also only wore her sandals with socks as footwear...

dar

[Piglet68]

I know it can be hard. My DD seems to have her father's temperature system. He's never cold, whereas I'm one of those people who is always cold. I'm constantly having to hold back putting clothes on her when she is obviously comfortable, and I'm cold.

[kazmir]

My DD is the same way - but the opposite direction, she wants dresses and sandals/flip flops every day. I finally gave in and I am just waiting for everything even remotely boyish to be outgrown and then she can pick out her own clothes. I'm just glad we live in a moderate climate and can get away with dresses all year round. Even the dresses have to be a certain style.... I have a glamour queen for a kid!

No help for you mama, just hang in there and hope for a cooling trend!

[joesmom]

Originally Posted by Dar

Our friend Joe wore his yellow power ranger suit for 9 months or so, rain or shine, every single day. It started as a Halloween costume and actually wore out around March, and his mom was searching ebay and everywhere for a new one... much harder i March than October.

that is funny. my SON joe has a captain feathersword pirate costume that he got two easters ago. it is in SAD shape! he wears it day in & day out, except when he is wearing his harry potter suit jacket (like he did when it was 90 degrees & we went to my nephew's t-ball game) or his long sleeved striped shirt to be steve from blue's clues.

when we go out he is usually ok with changing into shorts but around the house i have gotten accustomed to seeing one of three or four people. rarely joe. lately khaki shorts & a tan tshirt & he is the croc hunter. (i am terri)

i say just let him wear what he wants to wear. if you have daily fights over it & he ends up "winning," why not just let him win in the first place & cut out the fights??

good luck!

[nomadmom]

One of my favorite memories is when dd was 3 and we were living in NW England. We had recently moved from FL, and she wasn't used to the constricting feeling of heavy clothes. She'd been visiting w/ sil, who lived within walking distance of our house. It was January (ie freezing), but I'd warned sil that I did not force dd to wear a coat, so it was o.k. for her to walk home w/o it. So, off they went, w/ dd in her Tinkerbell costume and rubber boots, and sil mortified by the glares. About 15 minutes into their walk, dd turned to sil and said, "I'll have my coat now...but I'm *not* cold!" For her, it was a sensory as well as a control issue. She hasn't outgrown it (she's 7 now). It's part of her personality. Clothes have to feel right and she still insists on choosing her own outfits. It's not always easy for me to leave her alone about it (I have my own control issues ), but she's very firm when I've crossed the line between suggesting and trying to be helpful, and making a pest of myself. I agree w/ Dar about taking extra clothes along and letting ds know they're available if he wants to change.

[teachma]

My son (almost 4 years old) is another one who likes to wear inappropriately few clothes on cold, New England days. Once, after coming home from school on a December day that he'd worn shorts, I asked him, "Did you go out on the playground? Weren't you terribly cold?" and he said, "No, I was WONDERFULLY cold!" He continually expresses that he loves to feel the cold air on his skin, so it's definitely a sensory thing. But like someone else said, it's a bigtime control issu for us, too. I never force him to wear a jacket, but I always bring one along. He eventually "gives in" and asks for it, but he will often say he'll wear it just so I don't have to hold it any more, not because he is chilly.

Maybe you can let him know that you'll bring shorts for him, just in case he changes his mind. You can also model times when you change your mind, and purposely say, "Oh, I changed my mind." to show him it's okay to do so. If you and he are getting ice cream, for example, you can tell him you are ordering the vanilla, and then say, "No, I changed my mind. I think I will get chocolate." This will show him that it's okay to change his mind. If you ask him, a different time, if he'd like to put on the shorts, you may find that he starts using your phrase, "Sure. I changed my mind. I will wear the shorts after all." I have modeled lots of key phrases for my son, who in turn adopts them for his own. The phrases kind of give an idea and help the mindset, I find.

[moondiapers]

Get him some light weight nylon or silk pants and shirts. The breezes flows through those quite nicely.


-Heather

[Melda]

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions ladies. I do think it may be a sensory thing because it is way more than most of you have suggested. I wish i could get him lightweight pants or capri type pants but he will have none of that. He has to haev certain types of pants, shirts, socks, etc. He is very very picky about this. I suggested the sensory thing to my DH and he now thinks i am a nutcase and that it is just another way of lableing children ... argh............. anyway he has his 3 year check up and I am going to mention it at that time to his Ped and see what he has to say about it.

Thanks, Melda