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I just got the call........ - Page 2

post #21 of 80
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer
I think people should experience repercussions for their choices.

Thank you. I agree. That's why circumcision continues--everyone (even the circ'ing parents sometimes!) pretends that it doesn't exist--that some baby boys "just come out that way" or something.
post #22 of 80
ITA with PuppyFluffer - the newborn won't remember your visit and you don't need to go visit now. I know people like to romanticize 'come see the baby!' and do the pass the baby thing but I think it is way over rated.

Let it be known that you are the Aunt who disagreed with the decision to 'cut it off' and were so grieved by your bro and SIL's violent choice against your nephew that you stayed away (for a time or whatever). Why not? Why not be that relative and known that way?

Better to be the pro intact genitalia Aunt than the 'cut it off' Daddy, I say.

Again, i mean no fundamental disrespect to your brother, I love my brother and would be so conflicted if he talked and acted this way. But at the end of the day, the result is a mutilated penis. There was no need for it. You know that and it is a crying shame.

Gawd, it is just so unfair sometimes!! Why not just wait until the boy can request it himself if the parent is so hell bent on the idea? Why not give them a chance?

It makes me nuts and I want to scream and break things. It will never make sense to me because it is senseless.
post #23 of 80
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by playdoh
It makes me nuts and I want to scream and break things. It will never make sense to me because it is senseless.

I love you people! You understand me like no other!

My dh told me not to cry, and I told him that TODAY IS CRY ABOUT CIRCUMCISION DAY. So just deal with it.
post #24 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
I can't honestly wish them congratulations and happiness knowing that they willfully chose to mutilate their son. I would be a dark cloud on their happy day. I'm doing less damage by being away.
A baby was still born and I believe congrats are still in order. Yes, they *mutilated* him. You did your best (I assume) to educate them on circing. There doesn't seem to be anything else you can do if it's already done. Be glad he was born alive and well.

"I know people like to romanticize 'come see the baby!' and do the pass the baby thing but I think it is way over rated."

Again, coming from the other side..... I didn't have many visitors after my DS was born. 1 sister was out of state, another was hours away at school, my dad was at work, my mom had her own baby to care for, all but one of my friends had left long ago not wanting anything to do with a baby, the one friend I did/do have also has 4 boys so couldn't stay for more than a minute. So to have someone who COULD come see me/baby not come because they didn't agree with me circing him would have stung. Hard.
post #25 of 80
s I know exactly how you feel because my bro is just like that, he has NO tact. I visited my bro and SIL in the hospital right after their ds was born. He was born with a broken clavicle and had severe jaundice so I had assumed that they wouldn't torture him further by circ'ing him. Well I was wrong and the nurse came in to get him while we were there. I walked over to the baby and said to him, I am so very sorry they are doing this to you. I said it loud enough for everyone to hear. I then turned around and walked out without saying another word. My dh and I refused to call them or talk to them for a few weeks after that. I was just so angry. And I know that it is not right but I can't bond with my nephew because I have so much hatred for his parents. He is a cute baby but every time I would change his diaper I wanted to puke. I cried the first time I saw it. I wish I would have thought to send their ds a get well card. I really would have done it too. I hope that you are a better person than me and not let it affect your bond with your nephew.
post #26 of 80
A&A, I understand how you feel. I wouldn't be able to go right now either. Circumcision is just such a great way to welcome a newborn baby isn't it. :
I think a get well card for your nephew is a good idea. Why the &%$* should we all just stand by and let this crap happen with out batting an eye. It's never going to end like that. Or in the name of keeping the peace keeping our mouths shut, ugh.
I am so sorry yet another baby boy is being tortured and his perfect body is being sexually altered.
post #27 of 80
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen
So to have someone who COULD come see me/baby not come because they didn't agree with me circing him would have stung. Hard.

Good. It should, considering you mutilated your child.

Did you not happen to see what I wrote in my first post? If you're not a regular contributor to the anti-circ fight, or don't plan to be, please don't post on this thread. I won't be responding to anything else you have to say because I don't want the thread to get pulled.
post #28 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen
So to have someone who COULD come see me/baby not come because they didn't agree with me circing him would have stung. Hard.
If you feel like circumcision is a violent violation to a babies body and purely wrong, it is hard to sympathize with someone who chooses to mutilate their child. I would not be able to look my brother and SIL in the eyes w/o showing disgust. I think it would be best not only for my peace but also theirs that I not visit them during this time.
I think the words you chose (stung) to be ironic.
post #29 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby
A&A, I understand how you feel. I wouldn't be able to go right now either. Circumcision is just such a great way to welcome a newborn baby isn't it. :
I think a get well card for your nephew is a good idea. Why the &%$* should we all just stand by and let this crap happen with out batting an eye. It's never going to end like that. Or in the name of keeping the peace keeping our mouths shut, ugh.
I am so sorry yet another baby boy is being tortured and his perfect body is being sexually altered.
post #30 of 80
That's upsetting. You can't know if they read your information or not, but it sounds like he was being short and devensive about it. I had someone do that once- take my info and never mention it again. I don't have any idea of they circ'd or not- we moved away.

Just the calous way he told you they were doing it, too.... Sort of like "in your face". Obviously, he doesn't want to think too much about chopping off bits of penile anatomy related to himself... the old story....
post #31 of 80
StephandOwen - it's hard to be the lone voice of dissent on a thread like this.

I understand what you are saying, but I think perhaps your situation is different from A&A's. A&A tried VERY hard to prevent this from happening to her nephew. She sent info and two impassioned letters.

Her bro and sil had to have known how she felt about this. And her feelings are important as well.

If she had said nothing about circumcision, except perhaps to mention in passing (or something like that) that she wouldn't do it, then I would think an argument could be made that she should go and see the baby. In that situation, if she hadn't done anything, then there would be no reason/excuse for avoiding the situation.

I'd assume that was perhaps your situation? There wasn't anyone who gave you all of the information about circumcision?

But given that she gave them all of the information, pleaded with them not to do it, etc., etc. - I think she needs to respect her own emotions and stay away. It does sound to me as if she is doing what is best all around.

Yes, it might hurt her bro and sil's feelings that she chooses to wait to see them for a few weeks. They cut off part of their son's penis. In the face of abundant reasons why not to and an aunt who was pleading with them to leave their perfect son perfect - the way he was born.

If I had friends or family members who did the same, in the face of the truth about circumcision, I would need to wait to see them as well. It would take awhile before I could face them and be civil, let alone be able to express my happiness for them at the birth of their beautiful baby boy - whom they chose to surgical alter.

I must say - the 'get well' card idea made me laugh - I think it's great! Not sure I'd have the guts to do it, but I'd want to...
post #32 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
That actually made me laugh. Would you really?


I totally agree with the get well card. I would hand deliver it. But I am not nice about this at all. I only see it as rape whatever the intention may be.

I'm so sorry for you. This atrocity is such a fear based myth that affects so many more than just the baby.

Your brother sounds like an ass. I have one of those too. I sent my dad a ton of information on circ to try to help me with my holier than thou brother. My brother responded by sending my dad to websites designed by Brian Morris, Vernon Quintance and Edgar Schoen. I tried. But they went ahead and circ'd my 5 lb nephew with a heart murmur anyway. Oh and they were trying to determine if he had down syndrome also. He had all these tests but they found time to mutilate him during all of them. I have ZERO respect for them. I almost hate them. I will not speak to him. I will not celebrate with him. I will not do anything for him ever for the rest of my life. Circumcision is funny to them. I cried for their child to the point of vomiting and they laughed as they handed him off to be raped. The mother also laughed as he shreiked from his first pee. Class act!

You're in my thoughts today, A&A.
post #33 of 80
Awww, I am so sorry. It is sad when people dont "get it." URG. Hugs to you mama, you did everything you could. I probably would not go either. They do not deserve support in their disgusting action against their own son. Or I would go and bawl and make a wailing fuss, has he already been mutilated? Poor baby!
post #34 of 80
Thread Starter 
8 lbs. 3 oz, 21 inches, named Tanner Jacob.( I got the update from my mom.) I want to be happy that little T.J. is in the world, but I am so conflicted. I do not know if he will be mutilated today or tomorrow. I couldn't bear to ask that question. My birthday is next week, and I'm just glad this isn't happening on my birthday. The irony of that would just kill me.
post #35 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
8 lbs. 3 oz, 21 inches, named Tanner Jacob.( I got the update from my mom.) I want to be happy that little T.J. is in the world, but I am so conflicted. I do not know if he will be mutilated today or tomorrow. I couldn't bear to ask that question. My birthday is next week, and I'm just glad this isn't happening on my birthday. The irony of that would just kill me.
((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) to you A&A
post #36 of 80
A&A

It was hard for me to hold my nephew for the first time, I just felt all weepy inside. My brother had him circed. I held him and told him how sorry I was.

But, I did have a direct affect on my SIL & BIL when their baby came, they left him whole Holding him was very healing.

I totally know how you feel today....
post #37 of 80
A&A, I'm so sorry.

I know I'm the 20th person to say this, but I believe you have every right to stay away with your grief. If the youngest and most helpless member of my family were being horrifically wounded, I wouldn't be able to put a smile on and congratulate his parents either.

Hoping you can find some peace and rest in the coming days...you did all you could.
post #38 of 80
A&A I know what you are feeling. You are perfectly justified in staying away for now. I'm sorry you're going through this.
post #39 of 80
I think a get well card is absolutely appropriate.........don't many people send them to patients after having surgery? Why should a baby be any different?

And as far as offending them, it is their choice to be offended. When a person is strong in their convictions, and truly believes they have done the right thing, or made the best choice, they are seldom defensive or offended.

A&A, I am very sorry for your nephew. It is so sad that the two people entrusted to keep him safe and secure feel it is necessary to mutilate his perfect body. Stay away, do not compromise yourself. When the subject comes up as to why you stayed away, the answer is simple. I doubt that your nephew will hold any hard feelings, and hopefully you and he will hve a great relationship!
post #40 of 80
Im so sorry. I circed my son (7 years ago and I didnt know better, man do I ever regret that!) and I agree with you not going to see them. That poor baby. My heart hurts for him, for my son, and for all others who have gone through it and will continue to go through it.
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