Finding Nemo is Toddler Crack - Page 3

[Heavenly]

I guess I don't understand the issue. If you don't want her to watch it more than once a day then don't let her. I don't understand people saying that their child watches a specific movie over and over again when they don't want them too. If they throw a fit, oh well, they'll get over it.

[lilyka]

I agree. Your dd sounds like she is learning a trick or two from your mother. And if you didn't want your mom to give it to dd you should have taken it from her and handed it right back to your mother and pologized to her for her grandmother causingh er to be upset by disrespecting the house rules.

me personally I love the pixar movies (which by the way only use the disney name for marketing purposes and have officially detatched themselves from disney yipppeeee) especailly nemo and use thier desire to watch it a 100 times to our advantage. Now that they have it memorized we usually run it in spanish or french so that they can soak up those languages,( both of which they are learning). On the other hand though when I say no they know I mean it and don't ask again.because even as infants I never gave into whining.

[Gendenwitha]

First of all, thank you for reminding me that I love my family, including in-laws.

Secondly, the DVD being broken may not stop her wanting it. I used to hook up the TV, VCR, cable box everything to one power strip that I could turn off with one switch (that was out of their reach). When they were toddlers, it was just "TV doesn't work" hmm... look, it doesn't turn off & on for mom either... oh well, find something else to do. When they were a bit older it was a way to enforce no means no.

I would tweak on your mother, but that's because lying is my BIGGEST pet peeve. I'd probably say don't lie to me and get out. But that's because that's just my thing. My kids can tell me to F.O. and they won't get their mouths washed out with soap, but if they lie to me they will.

Maybe letting Nana babysit and take the movie along, then "forget" it there? (Then after dd is asleep, calling and telling Nana that it better STAY there for when she babysits?)

"Mom, I need you to respect my parenting decisions and the values I have for your grandchildren, and I don't feel supported by you when you bring things like this into my home."

Just ideas...

[Piglet68]

I loved Nemo, but I would not allow my DD to watch it and she is 2 yo just like the OP's daughter. The reason? Well, the opening scene is really scary!! Pixar may not be Disney, but what the heck is with these children's movies where THE MOTHER DIES!!!!!. I mean, is this really a necessary part of the story, that mama and all the little baby fishes except one DIE??!!! I well remember being stunned by Bambi (at 5 years of age) and other similar movies, and it just pisses me off. Kids that age shouldn't have to deal with something so traumatic as the loss of a mother....okay, rant over.

I think the bigger issue here is your mother and how she is not respecting your wishes, then using lies and other sneaky tactics to get around them. If you don't put your foot down, this will extend into all sorts of other things that are more serious to you than a movie.

I personally would stop in the minute it happens. Like Lilyka said, right then and there when your DD came running in with the movie, I would have taken it from DD, apologized to her that Grandma could not respect the rules of this house, given it back to Grandma, and told her that I specifically said "no movies" so please take this back and don't come back here if you have it on you. I'd do this right in front of DD and Grandma so that DD learns a little something about the rules in your home being respected, AND that it is Grandma's fault that she is so upset, not yours. And I would hope Grandma gets embarrassed/upset enough to clue in that this is serious to you. My biggest pet peeve is family members who refuse to acknowledge your wishes about parenting, and keep pushing the issue. Thank goodness I have not had to deal with this, but I sure as heck would nip it in the bud if it started.

I also would not give in and let my child watch a movie 15 times a day b/c they are having a tantrum. I agree with those who wonder why you "HAVE" to let her watch it that often? You are the parent, and if your rules are consistent then the kids will survive it...

[greymama]

Originally Posted by tboroson

The problem is, she's generally a good Nana, a great helper to me - especially now that I'm down to the final count in this pregnancy, and this stupid crap just isn't worth severing our relationship over.

I've had some of the same issues with my mother, but then I think about the same thing you posted here. She's a great Nana and DS loves her to pieces. Yes, she sometimes make choices I wish she wouldn't, but at the end of the day my DS is happy, safe and still my child, who in the long run I'm still going to have a bigger influence over than a grandparent.

[Ynez]

Originally Posted by tboroson

Subtitle: I'm going to kill my mother...

My mother is very much of the opinion that as much television as possible is just GREAT for kids.

Just a follow-up question, does she really believe this? Any kind of television or just educational? Is she aware of the tons of research surrounding TV and kids?

[artemesia]

Here's an idea for what to do with the unwanted dvd's. Perhaps you and dd could donate them to a local library or parent resource center, then she check them out every now and then. That way you could incorporate a lesson on sharing and charity, she could still have access to her presents but you wouldn't have to be nagged to let her watch them 10 times a day.
Btw, my mom is the same way so I can totally understand where you are coming from.

[LeftField]

Originally Posted by Ynez

Just a follow-up question, does she really believe this? Any kind of television or just educational? Is she aware of the tons of research surrounding TV and kids?

Not the OP, but my mother holds these beliefs too. Neither of my parents are the kind of people to read up on research like this. As long as Elmo is on it or the marketing includes the word, "educational", my mother is sold. Something like Nemo, which is not touted as "educational" would also get the green light from my mother, because it says, "Disney" and b/c it's "cute". After all the educational TV that kids should be watching and in between using "educational" Leap-Frog toys, they should have a break. That's how she thinks. It's completely well-intentioned, btw. There are lots of Grandmas out there like that, I would guess. In some ways, it seems like my parents and their generation (born in 1940s) are really caught in the web of consumerism and clever marketing.

[spero]

Ways you could "re-gift" the DVD to your mom : )

Once you can pry the Nemo DVD away from your kid, you could take the high road and give it back to your mom for the holidays!

http://www.koolpages.com/hokuspokus/make/aolcds.html

Candle Display
Use cd's shiny side up to sit small pillar or votive candles on. The reflection off the cd's is great for centerpieces on buffet tables, especially during the holidays

Christmas ornament ideas
Using a permanent marking pen, Xmas shaped sponges and\or small simple stencils, I traced small stockings, bells, trees, stars and snowman on the shiny side of the cd and then cut them out using a small electric scroll saw. The key was to go slow. Then I used the dremel to smooth the edges and punch the holes to slip cord through to hang them. The finishing touch is to paint the label side with acrylic paint sponged on, or use snow texture paint, or glue and glitter. The commercial cd's show a pretty silvery color and writeable cds a lovely gold color. You can personalize the small ornaments with kids names written with a metallic permanent marker or acrylic paint.

Make a clock
buy clockworks at your local craft store, the CD has a readymade hole in the center.

Make bowls
Place in oven on low heat over a metal bowl shape, or heat with a blow dryer. When softened, they can be bent (gently). Glue to small plates or seal hole and use for candy dishes, fountain bowls, etc.

And...perhaps the best one of all (b/c you get to vent your frustration by breaking the DVD )

Mosaic
Break them into small pieces (take your frustrations out on them) and use as mosaic tiles

You can let your DD help make the "gift" and explain to your mom that "She got tired of the movie and we didn't want to be wasteful by throwing it away, so we made you something special."

[Mamid]

there's always using the alternative player.. the one with the "popcorn" and "defrost" buttons...:

No more than 5 seconds though. 10 just over does it.

[girlzmommy00]

On the what to do now with what you've been given note...

Try not to open the gifts and return them. Toys R Us has a very liberal return policy. Even with out a receipt, they'll give you credit as long as they sell the item. The TRU stores here have a great Melissa & Doug wooden toy section so you could check that out with your credit.

If they are opened gifts, try the Trading Post here or Ebay. Then buy her something else that she does like and that you approve of. So she is still getting a gift from grandma, just something a little different.

And if neither of those work out, donating it is a wonderful idea.

Good luck to you.

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by sunmountain

There was only one toy in 10 years I strongly disapproved of. It was a large robot monster thing with guns that said stupid crap like "prepare to defend yourself' or "I'm going to start shooting". My mil actually apologized saying she was just giving in to my son's whining. ok, whatever, I put it up on a high shelf, reiterated our "NO shooting toys" rule and the next time I went to donate stuff to the Mission, that went too. I think. I may have thrown it out.

Ugh. Ds got one of those, too, from a well-meaning family friend. Wait, no, TWO. First from the ex-in-laws for Christmas - I promptly disappeared that one. Second from the family friend. That one I took the batteries out of and removed the "shooters." Then he loaned it out to a friend. If it ever comes back, it'll go in the trash (where the disappeared one went). I'm all for passing on toys, but I couldn't stomach the thought of someone else playing with that hideous thing. (Just like I could never sell the copy of Ferber's book that ds' dad bought in a misguided attempt to solve our sleep "problem.")

To the OP: Good luck with your mother. It sounds like you need to concentrate on setting firm boundaries with her - especially as her actions are negatively affecting your relationship with your daughter.

[pageta]

Here's what I do with unwanted gifts: I trade them in at Once Upon a Child, which is a gently used children's toys/clothes/gear store. I took stuff there from Christmas and they gave me an $8.50 credit and I got a $40 Land's End Diaper bag in perfect condition for trade (that they were selling for $8.50). No one has asked me about the stuff, and if they did, I would be honest.

The bottom line is that it is YOUR house and you are not obligated to have things in YOUR house that YOU don't want. If your mother wants to have movies at her house and show them to your children, well, don't visit her very often. When you're at your house, your kids live according to your rules, regardless of whether they saw a gift or not. It's a control issue, I think, and the sooner you stand firm, the sooner people will figure out that this is just the way it's going to be.

[LeftField]

Good idea

That's a good idea! My mother bought my son a really loud and obnoxious talking book that I had ethical objections to. She knows that I don't like those books, but she got it anyway. I hid the book. When ds finally discovered it (he's 3 now), I told him the truth. I told him that I didn't like it because it was so loud but that we could trade it. I told him that I would take the book back to the store and get him a Thomas train instead. The book was Thomas themed, his favorite, and the price was about the same. He said it was Ok. That's what we did. I don't know if this would work with a younger child, but perhaps you can tell her that you don't like those movies, but that you can trade for something appropriate?

[ebensmama]

ARGH! I am so angry with your mother!

I think that regardless of what anyone's opinions are about TV or Disney, the core issue is your mom's disrespect for your rules/preferences and the chaos it stirs up between you and your DD.

I agree you should confront her with the DVD and tell her to stop trying to usurp your authority. (I'd probably also give her a piece of my mind that goes something like, "I think you're incredibly self-centered to prioritize YOUR need to shove Disney at my child over MY rule and the harmony DD and I have achieved together," along with a brief explanation that she had her own go at motherhood and now it's your turn, so back off. )