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UGH-SOME PEOPLE (vent!) - Page 4

post #61 of 123
I can not fathom people giving thumbs up in support of people who are criminally neglecting their kids. I really thought the women here were educated and intelligent. It makes me so angry to see such utter disreguard for children's lives that I am seeing red as I type this.
post #62 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer Z
I can not fathom people giving thumbs up in support of people who are criminally neglecting their kids. I really thought the women here were educated and intelligent. It makes me so angry to see such utter disreguard for children's lives that I am seeing red as I type this.
Thanks, I was going to say pretty much the same thing only out of my mouth it would have been much nastier.
post #63 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Milk-Fairy*
I just have to share...

Ordinarily I wouldn't do much but fume, but this time I pulled alongside at a red light, honked my horn, and when they rolled their window down I proceeded to tell them that what they were doing is illegal, that her baby needs to be in a carseat, and that she was being a bad parent. All she said was "thanks" and rolled the window up and sped away.

AGH! At least I said something
Although I commend you for speaking up for the protection of the little one, I do NOT think this was the best way to go about it. In this world, you don't know WHO you are encountering. You could have encountered some dangerous psychos who could have been so angry with you after your comment that they decided to follow YOU home and attack YOU and YOUR family.

All I am saying-be careful. Next time, for your own safety just get the license tag # and if you have a cell phone call 911...it is that simple.

When I read what you did...my heart started pounding for you
post #64 of 123
Would I let my kids ride unrestrained in a freakin' snowstorm? Or on a hundred mile an hour highway? Of course not! But at ten o'clock in the morning, when there is not another car in sight, and Grandma drove by on her way to our house, did I let my kids hop in her car and bounce in the backseat unrestrained for a ten minute car ride? You bet your butt, I did.


I am going to take a stab at this and say you're kids probably don't like the car seat because it isn't something they have been expected to be in. If they were in it from the start and knew it was what was expected it would be less of an arguement (I know you can't explain it to an infant). I have had my share of "I hate the carseat" moments, but my rule is everyone buckle up or the car goes nowhere.


Why? Because I know what a statistical risk is. And I can evaluate that risk against the likelihood of it happening. Neither I, nor my husband's mother can remember when ANY child was killed in a traffic accident in our town, and if one had been, it would have made front page news.Maybe our "traffic dynamics" are a little different.


I would hate for your child to become the one on the front page. The arguement that noone can remember when it happened makes people entirely too relaxed. The fact is your kids may never be hurt, but they could very well be the next fatality. Why risk it?
post #65 of 123
An interesting link I found about statistical risks in general. Check it out. It's interesting to look at. Having said that I can't imagine why anyone would intentionally place themselves or their children in a situation that statistically raises their chance of death in an accident.

I agree with the readers here that talk about always buckling in the automobile. If you never ride unbuckled, you don't know what your missing. And frankly how distracting to the driver would that be to have small children climbing around?

One last thing. Didn't anyone catch that small portion of Oprah where she had that mom on the show who spent X amount of time in jail because she willingly refused to buckle her child and then (unfortunately) got in an accident? To be perfectly honest I was sympathetic for the loss... but my heart really was angry at how needlessly the loss happened. I certainly was not sympathetic about the fact the mother spent time behind bars. Frankly there is enough literature out there that the excuses used for not restraining ones young folk are moot.
post #66 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by JuniperJoy
North Americans act like any risk is bad, which is obviously a very paranoic way to live. There is always a risk. Evaluating that risk is part of life.
I see what you are saying, but it does seem that world views often differ based on religious beliefs. Some people have a fatalistic view of life and don't think they have any control over their destiny. I don't really believe in fate, the will of God, what have you. So if I chose to let my daughter ride in a car without a carseat and something happens, it is fully my responsibility. I evaluate the risk and I personally feel like driving a motorized vehicle is pretty dangerous in general. I want to do everything I can to offset that risk. I guess what I am saying is I have evaluated, and I come down on the other side.

Not that long ago here, there was a family 8 driving in a minivan. Five of them were children and all but one were under the age of 6. One of them was 9 months. None of them was restrained and they were hit by a drunken driver. The father was driving the minivan, and he lived with minor injuries. The 2 year old was critcally injured and all the rest died. One person told me that it wouldn't have mattered if the children were restrained or not, as bad as the accident was. I felt that the opposite was true!

I've been in some minor accidents as have others in my family. One of my sisters was hit broadside by a car and the side of the car crushed in. Her children were all in carseats or seatbelts, but still were injured, except for the one on the side farthest from impact. I've known people who were killed in car accidents. I guess that is why I feel that the risk is great enough.

I do know some people who don't use carseats or seatbelts with their children. They are into non-coercion/TCS. It is very frustrating when one of their children is critical of some of my choices, like allowing my daughter to eat sugar, or using a carphone. They don't seem aware of all the issues behind not using a seatbelt, and I really have to bite my tongue--I'm thinking now that maybe I shouldn't. I have never expressed concern with their children not using a seatbelt, because I am not a witness to what goes on inside the car while they are actually driving. My daughter is 5 now and says that we've never gotten into an accident, so that means we aren't going to. I hope she is right!
post #67 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amywillo
I do know some people who don't use carseats or seatbelts with their children. They are into non-coercion/TCS.

I really don't understand this idea... TCS isn't about letting your kid kill themselves, or about letting them have their way all the time; it's about giving them the information they need to make good decisions and treating them with respect. If an adult got into my car and expected me to drive without putting on their seatbelt I'd tell them the same thing that I say to Eli: This is not an option while I'm driving this vehicle. Seatbelts/carseats are for your protection and they are absolutely necessary. I'll say it again: Adhering to a philosophy like TCS does not make you exempt from parental responsibility.
post #68 of 123
Thread Starter 
I just wanted to follow-up and let you all know that I finally heard back from the TX DPS and there IS a program specifically set aside for this kind of violation-the Please Be Seated Program. I left a message with the license plate and where I saw it happen, and they will contact the family.
post #69 of 123
Thanks for the update. They might not change their behavior, but at least you did what you could.
post #70 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Dimples
*the plural of anecdote is not data*.
.
Ooh, I like that!!!
post #71 of 123
I am a total car seat FREAK. I AGONISED over letting my slightly taller than average 11yo (at the time) sit in the front seat with an air bag (with the seat all the way back and the seat belt on)

I don't understand how people can let their dc become missle's. I was driving down a VERY busy road the other day (2 lanes each way and a center turn lane) A woman was sitting in the passenger seat of a new truck (can you say air bag??? ) cooing nose to nose with her approximatly 3 week old baby. I almost had a heart attack. The light tured green and the driver of the truck FLOORED it . I never had time to react. I couldn't keep up to get down the licence plate # (I wasn't going to put my own children at risk), if I had my wits about me I would have screamed out the window at her.
post #72 of 123
I let my child scream when I put her into the car seat. I supply her with toys, I keep a few in the front with me, and toss her one as she's thrown all of her supply on the floor. This is just ONE OF THOSE THINGS that she needs to learn MUST TAKE PLACE; When you get into the car, you get into the car seat PERIOD.

Maybe I'm a bad person, but I wouldn't do anything about someone who doesn't bother with basic safety measures. My husband and I have a saving... 'Don't try to stop them, their stupidity will clear their lines out of the gene pool.'

Amen, I say. Let that woman kill herself AND her child with her own stupidity, then, perhaps we won't have to deal with her genes being passed on.

Concrete proof that Darwin was on to something.
post #73 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer Z
I can not fathom people giving thumbs up in support of people who are criminally neglecting their kids. I really thought the women here were educated and intelligent. It makes me so angry to see such utter disreguard for children's lives that I am seeing red as I type this.
I'm with you. I'm completely blown away that people can say that there are certain circumstances under which your child need not be safe. If you ALWAYS expect your child to be safe... and implement that rules to ensure that, then you WILL NOT HAVE TO FIGHT WITH THEM every time you get into the car.

I swear, it's like telling your teenage daughter that she shouldn't have sex with boys who have already had sex (as virgins may be less likely to have an STD), or that you shouldn't have sex for the first two weeks out of your cycle.. because you're less likely to get pregnant that way. Why pass ignorance on to your children? You can never-ever know what other people are doing--or have done--and there's always that chance you'll run into a drunk driver, a new driver who mistakes one pedal for the other, or ANYTHING that I can't begin to fathom. WHY WHY WHY teach your child there are exceptions to VERY IMPORTANT RULES!!!!?
post #74 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miny20
Let that woman kill herself AND her child with her own stupidity, then, perhaps we won't have to deal with her genes being passed on.
I've agreed with the majority on this thread (buckle kids up every time) but I CAN NOT believe you said this! These are children. Innocent children who don't have a choice or don't have the ability to understand the consequences and make the *right* choice. Because they're parents are morons then they should have to suffer???

My DS's dad is a no good druggie loser. Does that mean I should *get rid* of my DS on the chance he could turn out like his dad? I would think teaching him to be a better person and make better decisions would be a more appropriate option.

I am stunned.


To the OP... I'm glad you called and got something done. Hopefully those parents will buckle the kiddo up next time.
post #75 of 123
Ugh i cant stand it when people dont use carseats for their children. The law in florida (i just asked at the DMV for a new book) now states a child 5 AND UNDER has to be in a carseat. Alot of people i know by time the child is 3 or 4 they are in a regular seatbelt. My children will remain in their Britax Marathons until they reach the height, weight and age limit or until i have to buy a new one because theirs expired. I dont know why people dont think more of their children. Another pet peeve of mine is people who use seats incorectly or old and outdated seats when if you are that poor you can go to the fire dept. and get a new one.
post #76 of 123
toh but here's a link to a national program (international now, too, i think) for child car safety:

Quote:
"We're only going to the grocery store."

"He’ll stop crying if I hold him on my lap."

"She thinks she’s too old."

Do any of these sound familiar? They’re all common reasons parents give for not putting their children in appropriate child safety seats or safety belts. Unfortunately, unrestrained or improperly restrained children are far more likely to be injured, to suffer more severe injuries, and to die in the event of a crash.

Motor vehicle crashes remain the leading cause of unintentional injury-related death. In 2001, 1,579 child occupants ages 14 and under died in motor vehicle crashes, and in 2002 an estimated 227,000 were injured. Even if you’re a careful driver, you can’t control other drivers’ behavior or eliminate the possibility of a crash. You can, though, greatly reduce the risk that your children will be seriously injured or killed . . . {more}
(long but says it is ok to share for info purposes)

http://www.safekids.org/tier2_rl.cfm?folder_id=170

you can search for safety coalitions in each state to help spread the word about seat belt safety.


about parents refusing to protect their children from death and injury ... for these parents, it's not about the children, its about what it is easier on them, the parents...
post #77 of 123
T

so what about this scenario:

A baby is crying in the backseat. Mama pulls off into the parking lot of XYZ store and proceeds to nurse baby in the front seat, unrestrained WITH an airbag.

?????

Abby, who is very intrigued by how we all are so right all the time
post #78 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2BMamaof3
T

A baby is crying in the backseat. Mama pulls off into the parking lot of XYZ store and proceeds to nurse baby in the front seat, unrestrained WITH an airbag.
If it were a newer truck that you can turn the airbags off with a key. ok.
If not, not much better than anyone else. I used to work for a car dealership and older style airbags DID go off for the heck of it. We had a scrapped car and set one off just to see what it was like.

I have tinted windows so I climb in the back.

What about that mama who was nursing down the freeway with her baby in her lap because it was legal in her state? (but not the state she was driving through) She would not pull over because it would slow her down.
post #79 of 123
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2BMamaof3
T
so what about this scenario:
A baby is crying in the backseat. Mama pulls off into the parking lot of XYZ store and proceeds to nurse baby in the front seat, unrestrained WITH an airbag.
?????
If it was a car like ours, with the backseat full of carseats so there is truly no room for mama to breastfeed anywhere but in the front, I'd rather she have pulled over and parked to breastfeed in the front seat rather than trying to prop a bottle in the back and keep going. Hopefully it is a newer model vehicle where the front passanger airbag can be shut off. There are plenty of valid reasons for them to stay in the car to breastfeed too - needing the A/C because its dangerously humid outside, privacy, safety, etc.

Quote:
What about that mama who was nursing down the freeway with her baby in her lap because it was legal in her state? (but not the state she was driving through) She would not pull over because it would slow her down.
: Now that's just insane and endangering her baby, herself, and every innocent driver and passenger on the road with her! I'm sorry, but there is just NOWHERE you really have to get to SO fast that you would need to do that.
post #80 of 123
ok ... I have been driving down the road and have pulled over and parked in a parking lot and got DD out to feed her because she was screaming and in the parking lot without traffic. Yes the car was running because i live in florida and we need a/c ... I never thought i was doing anything wrong or unsafe by doing this. Am i wrong?
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