I can hear her screaming as I write this..ugh - Page 6

[wemoon]

OH *I* know that I am not perfect! I don't believe anyone here was implying they were!

And *I* did not say that this mama should follow Sears' every breath to solve her dilema. I don't believe I ever mentioned Sears

But in any case, this mama already said she was going to try some different ideas, ideas which I think are wonderful, maybe the ideas sound really bad to you? I'm just not sure what the problem is here? The OP mama herself does not seem mad or offended....just the other people offering her *support* do?

[Matadora]

Originally Posted by Piglet68

I was lying in bed with DD nursing her, grimacing...and all of a sudden I was struck by this thought that just pierced right into my heart - I looked at her tiny 2 year old body, her feet tucked into my lap, her hand resting on my breast, and I realized that in no time at all this child would be gone forever...my little 2 year old nursling will be an older child with her own room, her own friends, her own activities, and she will not need me at night anymore. This time we have is SO fleeting, and our children will never be at the stage they are right now, ever again.

Brought tears to my eyes. I can't tell you how many times I look at my 3.5 year old son and I am overcome with emotion over how big he has gotten. Then I look at my 15 month old DD and I swear I won't let time fly by... and yet I can distinctly remember just yesterday being very pg with her...

Maybe the one main thing any of us can get from this thread is the shortness of baby/toddler/preschool years.

[loving-my-babies]

Originally Posted by wemoon

And just because some guy named Sears wrote that in a book doesn't mean I believe it.

I know sears is kind of like a poster person for AP, but I don't like him and I feel he is very mainstream. next thing you know he'll be advocating CIO.

[sistermama]

Originally Posted by wemoon

This link was shared with me tonight, I thought it was a wonderful article: http://www.aolff.org/myth.htm

Wow, I just love when someone defines my "real needs" for me.

Dads are really getting the shaft on this thread. Makes me wonder that it isn't called "attachment mothering".

[loving-my-babies]

Sarah, I think because we are the ones that breastfeed and carry the child in our wombs for 9 months, we do have a different role than the dad. asking why dads can't do the exact same duties that we do is like asking why can't they carry the babies. it's just not how it is. I agree we deserve help from our husbands or dp. BUT let's not forget, a mother is essencial for baby's survival, a father (sorry to sound so cold with this, I love my dh and think he's irreplaceable) BUT fathers are not needed to survive. kwim?

[wemoon]

Originally Posted by sistermama

Wow, I just love when someone defines my "real needs" for me.

It's all about perspective.

[Piglet68]

I don't know of a single mammalian species where the father has any real role in parenting the children. This is almost certainly due to the fact that it is females who lactate and therefore must be in close contact with the offspring. It's not our fault that Nature set mama up to be the primary caregiver in those early months of a child's life. And while we are not mice or coyotes, we have millions of years of evolution guiding our behaviour and that of our children. It is no mystery to me why babies prefer mothers over fathers when they are very young. Sure, we can take steps to involve Dads but I think when it gets to the point of trauma for the child, we are working against Nature and that is a tough road for everybody. Like rolling rocks uphil, kwim?

And the thing is...there are just so many ways that Dads can be involved without the need for crying. It irks me that people are suggesting we are somehow not "Dad friendly" because we're saying that maybe Dad should not gain his attachment at the expense of the child's physical and emotional well-being.

While I agree that AP is not a laundry list of what to do and not do, there HAS to be some limits, some things that define AP, or what is the difference between this and any other style of parenting? It is possible to criticize a method without criticizing the parent, and I think it's obvious from the OP's posts that we have done that successfully.

And once again, NOBODY has said on this thread that the OP was selfish for wanting me time, everybody has agreed it's necessary and deserved. Can we please cut that straw man down for the last time???

ZanZan: what a wonderful idea, making that poster with your child. And chatting with your DH like that over the monitor. Very inspirational!

[Overproducktion]

Piglet, your making me want to read the conitnuum concept again!!! :LOL

[loving-my-babies]

piglet: I love your last post