Gracesmom0801...Thank you for that last post. I honestly was NOT...repeat NOT... referring to *your* nightweaning (actually I had no idea you were nightweaning - we are too, btw, and it's also been very gentle and positive) or your parenting. And I'm afraid you'll have to stand in line behind me for being the best at doing this --->
ZanZan: I'm so happy reading your last post. And let me tell you mama: I've been very close to where you were when you wrote that OP. When DD was very young, about 2 or 3 months old, DH was getting a bit insecure about the fact that she was comforted more readily by me than by him. He knew in his mind that this was normal and natural and that, before we knew it, DD would be a toddler wanting nothing but "DADDY!!"...but his heart was getting impatient. So one night when DD began to fuss he told me to "let him try". It went against everything I believed in, but I felt bad for DH that he was feeling so "rejected" by her. I sat downstairs listening to her wailing and crying escalate further and further. I counted 15 minutes of sheer torture for me, before I gave up and "rescued" her. I even posted a thread here while I was waiting...and the mamas here told me what they are telling you: this is not right! listen to your gut! listen to your mama instinct!
. We never, ever did that again, and frankly even DH was a basket-case by the time I "rescued" them, and decided "never again". I can assure you this had no effect whatsoever on their attachment. Children go through natural stages where they want you more than Daddy and vice versa. I honestly believe that you cannot "force" attachment by CIO. That's just the antithesis of the whole concept. I agree with everyone who said fathers need to be involved, but make transitions gradual, take baby steps. Follow baby's cues, follow your heart, your instinct!
I also wanted to relate one more thing along the lines of some other people's posts:
I've been having alot of nipple pain nursing this late in my PG and nightnursing was becoming very unpleasant for me. Well, a couple of nights ago I was lying in bed with DD nursing her, grimacing...and all of a sudden I was struck by this thought that just pierced right into my heart - I looked at her tiny 2 year old body, her feet tucked into my lap, her hand resting on my breast, and I realized that in no time at all this child would be gone forever...my little 2 year old nursling will be an older child with her own room, her own friends, her own activities, and she will not need me at night anymore. This time we have is SO fleeting, and our children will never be at the stage they are right now, ever again. Maybe I was just having a hormonal moment, but the tears began to well up in my eyes (as they are doing right now as I write this). I wanted to freeze time right then and there, beg her not to grow up so fast...
and from that moment onwards I have cherished every night with her, even when my nipples hurt, and even when it takes her a long time to nurse down....If you believe in God, maybe that was a message. This too shall pass...
Good luck to you and your baby.