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9 yr daughter crying all night!! WHAT THE HECK TO DO?? - Page 2

post #21 of 211
I was think abuse also
you should really support your dd when in need of help.
post #22 of 211
Have you considered maybe talking to the child in a calm rational manner? Do you honestly think yelling at her to "shut up and go to sleep" is making her feel any better? She is probably needing reassurance and you yelling at her is only belittling her fears. You need to face them head on with her and be there for her.

I can understand sleep deprivation..I'm there myself but what did you expect? You have several children who need tending to and sounds like you're spread thin. Either get some help with the kids so you can catch up on sleep or take your daughter to a doctor so you all can figure out what is making her be so scared.

It's better to solve the problem than roll over,go back to sleep and ignore it. That's just cold and heartless.
post #23 of 211
Hmmmm...lots of new members all of a sudden.
post #24 of 211
1st: You are in a state of sleep deprivation and so is your daughter. It sounds serious but until you both get some sleep it will be like the dog chasing its tail....going nowhere.

2nd: What happened 2-3 weeks ago? Where did she go, what did she watch, who did she spend time with?

You need a third party to help you. You need to get some sleep. Do you have a support system that would allow you to get a 2-4 hr nap?? Get some sleep now, so that you can think clearly and be able to help your daughter.

Help your daughter, she sounds terrified and unless she a drama queen who is willling to suffer no matter what then it is unlikely to be an act.



eta-there is a huge difference between child abuse and what is going on here. all these new members are kind of weird :
post #25 of 211
Whodatbe---Where did she post that she has yelled at her dd?! : She FEELS like yelling because she is stressed! She never said that to her dd!!!
post #26 of 211
Tani, I agree. While it could be something school related or friend related, it COULD be abuse related. At any rate, something other than what's being done should be done. Children have ways of asking for help. This sounds like her way of saying, "Hey Mommy, I'm in trouble here...HELP!"


And as far as being too judgmental, I would think we're adult enough here that the concern would be for the daughter not the mother first and foremost.

No I do not have a preteen. Mine is almost 3 years old and I've had my share of sleepless nights, not to mention chronic insomnia since I was a child.

When I cried myself to sleep at night as a child, there was a reason for it. I wanted my mother to hear me and ask me what was wrong. She chose to ignore it, unfortunately for me. This mother is hearing the crying but is responding negatively to it, which is no better.
post #27 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by happymomwith4
I do not know her situation AT ALL, but it sounds like she needs our support right now. But, I do know that she sounds very stressed and tired.
It sounds like her child needs support right now and, since she's the one sobbing every night for the last two weeks, she is very stressed and tired. Mom is the adult. It's her job to make sure her child is healthy, both mentally and physically.

Does being a relativly new member mean we're not allowed to have opinions on things we read here?
post #28 of 211
Um no.....I have just never seen so many new members in one spot in one night....sorry for making a note of it.

And I know that her dd should come first---but good grief!! :
post #29 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by happymomwith4
Hmmmm...lots of new members all of a sudden.
Umm......

doggone it! Where's that troll smilie? I thought I was finally going to get to use it.

I haven't seen that many new members in one place ever either - except the night we got invaded by trolls.

No offense intended to honest, real new MDC-ers.
post #30 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by happymomwith4
Whodatbe---Where did she post that she has yelled at her dd?! : She FEELS like yelling because she is stressed! She never said that to her dd!!!
My bad I thought I read she yelled at the daughter. Misread it in my state of sleep deprivation.

But I wouldnt doubt she is yelling at the child since it's very obvious that she is frustrated with the whole situation. Any parent would be if they were constantly woke up. But instead of *ignoring* the issue dont you think she should at least address it...maybe just maybe she would get some decent sleep if she did. Just my thought.
post #31 of 211
All that being a new member means is that you have *no idea* about the person you are advising. Generally, on these boards you can assume the person is not screaming, beating, etc... their child.

She's asking for help, for advice, a hand. What to do. She is probably just as scared and lost as any parent would be in this situation. If her solution was to roll over and sleep through it she wouldn't be tired

LDSmomma6
post #32 of 211
Sparklefly- I do not think that she meant that like that- at least I hope not!!!
I have found the moms here to be wonderful and helpful...
I am a relatively new member myself- and it was kinda different seeing all new members on the list tonight! I for one am glad that you are here!
Back to the topic at hand.
I may have come off sounding harsh-
and I apologize.
I hope that you can get to the bottom of what is wrong.
I was a melodramatic child- tho that did not mean that the feelings I was having were not REAL feelings. I found throughout growing up my parents would dismiss any of my feelings as being overly dramatic- but most of the time I was reacting to DRAMATIC situations.
Anyhow- My heart goes out to both you and your daughter.
Emilie
post #33 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
All that being a new member means is that you have *no idea* about the person you are advising. Generally, on these boards you can assume the person is not screaming, beating, etc... their child.

She's asking for help, for advice, a hand. What to do. She is probably just as scared and lost as any parent would be in this situation. If her solution was to roll over and sleep through it she wouldn't be tired

LDSmomma6
Seems to me she is rolling over and ignoring it if it has been going on for TWO WEEKS!
post #34 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by happymomwith4
I know that her dd should come first---but good grief!! :
Good grief what? I'm not understanding why you're upset. She may come back tomorrow to claify what she posted today but until then all we have to work with is what she told us. And what's that? She is outwardly angry at her daughter for being emotionally upset by something. Instead of posting, "Help me figure out what's wrong with my daughter!" she was upset that she's been disrupting the sleep patterns of the other people in the house.

Yes, I understand the frustration. I have two kids, ages 8 and 6, and when one is having a bad night, everyone has a bad night. But it's part of being a mom - dealing with stuff like this. It's not fun, it's irritating at times, but you do what you have to do and get to the bottom of the problem, not get angry.

If the child is unwilling to discuss her fears with her mom then I don't see why suggesting counseling is a problem.
post #35 of 211
Sorry, but the OP sounds as if she is more irritated with how the daughter's crying is affecting the household than she is concerned with what is wrong with her daughter.
post #36 of 211
I've read the LDS mama's post before, and this is not like her. She is obviously stressed. She asked us for help. Being snarky and making her feel like crap is NOT going to help her.

All I'm saying is that we do not know how much she HAS done to help her dd. She may have started typing to rant about the current situation and didn't go into much detail because she didn't have the time--I don't know. I have 4 children, and I lots of sleepless nights, and at times it can make me really grumpy.

This mama came to MDC asking for help. So, let's give her ideas, websites, books, herbs, phone numbers etc.
post #37 of 211
Where is that troll smilie?
post #38 of 211
Well, maybe a dr. is in order. Sometimes kids talk more openly to an "outsider" about things; ie. as a teacher, I have lots of kids confiding in me.

Do her sisters have any idea? Could you take them aside and ask them what's going on?

I'd ask dh to share the night time responsibilities so you can get some more rest, too.

Good luck!

And, if the sudden rash of new members is genuine, then good on you. But, they seem to take a similar tone and read things into the OP that never happened; ie. yelling and beating? Where the heck did that come from? Gee, I'll have to go peek at the intro forum and read all the intros I missed

Olive--how many kids do you have? I'm sure you have lots and have experienced many sleepless nights w/them, but gosh you're coming across kind of harsh.
post #39 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by savannah smiles
Where is that troll smilie?
If people were trolling don't you think they'd be telling her to dose her kid up on Nyquil or vodka? I've seen nothing but good advice on this thread. I haven't seen anyone telling her that she's a horrid or evil mother. I'd say calling troll on this is stretching just a bit.
post #40 of 211
[QUOTE=happymomwith4]I've read the LDS mama's post before, and this is not like her. She is obviously stressed. She asked us for help. Being snarky and making her feel like crap is NOT going to help her.

I have too! thanks for saything this...this is supposed to be a place of support away from the mainstream judgment alot of us face...

I am a newer member as well but ...some of those posts were really rubbing me the wrong way.
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