Jumping in at the end ... read the whole thread and am soooooo glad you were able to figure out what has been going on with your DD. Poor baby - an attempted break in a truly a very scary thing. It's weird how children can seem just fine about a situation and then react to it in a totally indirect way. Glad that she opened up to you in her drawing and that things are improving. I say expect taht she may have a few setbacks - but things will overall continue to improve.
You are a great mom!! (I've never met or heard of a perfect mom ... they are a myth cultivated by societies all over the world or a delusion in the minds of some who believe themselves to be perfect). When I was around that age, an older girl (13 yrs old) in our neighborhood died in a motorcycle accident. I didn't personally know her but knew who she was and saw her all the time. I barely reacted to it at the time, but later woke up scared and crying for nights in a row and called out to my mother the first two nights of this. However, I honestly couldn't tell my mother what I was crying about or scared of. I just couldn't connect the two things at the time. My mother was nice the first night and then yelled at me the second night, told me not to bother her with my crying again and went back to bed (but my mother also beat us so the quality of her yelling was different than that of an otherwise good, patient, nonabusive momma who's having a bad day/ sleep deprivation ..... there IS a difference!). Anyway, the rest of the nights that I cried, I cried by myself because I knew if I woke her up, she'd hit me. I never, ever got over the fact that my mom was so dismissive of my fears.
Your daughter will ALWAYS remember that you worked very hard with her to figure out what was going on and she will be grateful for it and a much better person for it. She will not remember that you yelled at her in one moment of frustration b/c you did it in the context of still trying to help her and you cared and stuck it out with her and reassured her despite the frustration and THAT'S what counts.
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