dont laugh at me- wondering about pushing

[MommytoTwo]

I never got to the pushing stage with DS, and as this birth is getting VERY CLOSE I am wondering something.
Like, how hard is it to push out the baby? OK and here is where you are going to laugh- is it like being TOTALLY constipated and nothing is going to ever come out? And if so, how can you push so hard for so long? Couldnt you have a stroke or something? I have heard of people dying onthe toilet. But then of course, you dont have a powerful uterus contracting when youre on the toilet either. And a lot of women on TV or on the boards or whatever, say they pushed a few times and the baby flew out. So which is it? Just tell me all about pushing.

THANKS!

[Shonahsmom]

Well, I'm sure its different for all women.....

For me, I LOVED pushing. I had a pretty intense pushing urge from early on. I wanted to push sooooo badly and when my midwife gave me the green light it was like AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! YES!!!! It really felt good. I pushed for about an hour-and-a-half.

Ooh... something to mention. I started pushing on my side while pulling my leg back. I pushed like that 2 times and declared that it wasn't working and I rolled over onto my knees, leaning my arms and head on the raised head of the bed and stayed like that the rest of the pushing phase and delivered my dd like that. I felt a lot more power in that position and felt very comfortable. The other thing that I really recommend is hot compresses on the perineum while pushing. I never felt the "ring of fire" and I didn't tear one single bit.

Good luck momma! Birthing bliss your way!

[Aura_Kitten]

But then of course, you dont have a powerful uterus contracting when youre on the toilet either.

actually... i did! :LOL http://www.klothos.com/~bestorga/Birth.html

your body will just know what to do when it's time. i'd say it is quite a bit like having a poop ~ NOT a constipation poop, just a normal poop, but... with a LOT more pressure. and of course, then the pain of crowning.

just let your body do it's thing and you won't have any trouble.

[fleuretlumiere]

I second the let your body do its thing I completely felt Luc's head coming down the canal and when I felt his forehead I immediately had to kneel then put my hands on the ground. I had this URGE to push and it felt soo good and like a big poop :LOL His head came out and stayed there for about five or so minutes then I turned over onto my back and his body just slid out when my uterus contracted and I helped him along a little.

[Stacymom]

You know, people use the phrase "urge to push" like it's something you can control. It just seems like way too nice and calm of aphrase. For me, my body started pushing and there was no stopping it. It was like a huge tidal wace, or freight train bearing down on me, and the only thing I could do was push. It was an amazing feeling at the same time though, because it's so powerful. And although it was so incredibly intense, it was a break from the pain of contractions.

At first, I wasn't sure what was going on- I really and truly thought I was going to poop in my pants when it first started. But when the next contraction hit, there was no doubt anymore that my body was pushing this baby out, and the only thing I could do was go along with it- it was literally the only way I could cope with the feeling. I just can't comprehend how it must feel to be told not to push during one of those contractions! (Although that's the point in my labor where I really wished we would have had someone to coach me through the delivery, because I probably could have avoided the severe tearing that I had.)

My labor was extremely fast though, and I probably only pushed for less than five minutes. (Dd was born in our car on the way to the hospital.) I imagine it would probably be a little mroe controlled with a more extended pushing phase.

[cottonwood]

Well, it's VERY hard to push out the baby if you start doing it before your body is ready to, which is the case with the vast majority of managed births. You know, "you're 10 cm. so you can start now. Just bear down as hard as you can with the contractions! Ready, now, PUSHHHHHH!" When the fact is, "full dilation" is not an indication that the body is ready for the baby to descend, and to try anyway is just unnecessarily exhausting for the mother.

If, on the other hand, you forget about *making* the baby come out and just *wait* for the baby to come out, the pushing phase will be comparatively short and easy, even more so if you're not distracted or inhibited. Here's a description of what happens:

I have adopted the term "fetus ejection reflex" (which had previously been used to refer to non-human mammals) to refer to the very last contractions before the birth of humans when the birth process has been undisturbed and unguided. During a typical "fetus ejection reflex," women have a tendency to be upright, have a need to grasp something or someone, and are full of energy. Some women seem to be euphoric, others seem to be angry, while others express a transitory fear. All of these behaviors are compatible with a sudden release of adrenaline. They are associated with two or three strong contractions. This reflex is almost unknown in hospital delivery rooms, and it is seldom seen even at home births if another person takes on the roll of "coach," "guide," "helper," "support person," or "observer." -- Michel Odent, MD

[Aura_Kitten]

Linda ~ THANK YOU for posting that!

that's EXACTLY what it was like for me! Some women... express a transitory fear.

w/ my first (my son), i had no such feeling or urge ~ i reached 10 cm, they told me i could push, so i started... over 2 hours of pushing later (and a full perineal tear + an inch long cervical tear) my son was finally born.

w/ my daughter, i pushed just a couple of times, and had no tears at all.

the difference? i listened to my body. women need to be able to do that in order to give birth safely and well.

[plantmommy]

Right! With dd, the only time I was scared in labor was transition, because my previous birth had felt like that the whole time, and I thought the hard part was just starting,with hours and hours ahead of me. Then I got that little break between transition and the pushing stage, during which I went to go pee, and my midwife showed up.

She actually didn't want to check me because I think she was afraid to tell me that I had a way to go, but I was feeling really pushy, and it was so hard to not obey that feeling, but I needed to know it was "ok" since I'd felt that way for most of my labor with ds. So, she did check and I was fully dilated. I pushed for a few minutes, and as I was in the water in a position hard for the mw to check, she asked if I wanted to feel for the baby's head myself.

I think feeling where the baby's head was made a huge difference in my pushing effectiveness, since I could really feel what kind of pushing was most effective, as well as it just being so gratifying to feel how well my body was working! I also attribute having my hand on the baby's head as she crowned, as well as not pushing through the ring of fire, with my not tearing. I had a prior episiotomy, in which one of the stitches tore while it was healing and felt as if I had a weak spot there, but dd was a lb heavier, and no tears at all. While she was crowning, my body pushed her out on it's own while I breathed through. My body knew exactly how hard to push to get her out safely, without tearing me. If my mind had gotten in the way and I made my body push harder than it wanted to, I feel I likely would have torn.

With some pushes, I did help along, adding to the uterine pushing, but only when it felt right and comfortable and effective. This was typically several short pushes with each contraction, never one long push through the whole thing.

The interesting thing about pushing out dd was that after she crowned, I lost the urge to push. Then, pushing seemed to do nothing. (it was all head pushing, not uterine pushing) I just told my midwife it wasn't working for some reason, and she felt and discovered the cord over the baby's shoulder, which she slipped off, and then my uterus started pushing again.

I think, somehow, my body felt that the cord was taut, and wasn't going to push until it was safe.

Our bodies are simply amazing, and if left to their own devices without our heads or other people interfering, will simply do an awesome job doing exactly what is needed.

[Artisan]

My first birth was with an epidural, so I never felt the urge to push. I wondered about what it would feel like too -- no laughing at you here!

I was upright (sitting up on a birth ball or in the tub) or standing for my entire (relatively short) labor. During transition, I was in the tub, and could feel more and more pressure as the baby moved down, but no urge to push. At one point, the pressure was soooo intense I felt a strong *pop* as my water broke. Immediately afterward, I felt the urge to push.

It was not like I imagined it to be, not like what others had told me. It felt like I had to go to the bathroom in the most intense way, like you would push people out of the way to get to the bathroom -- it was that overwhelming. But then when you get to the bathroom you discover that you have to poop out a canteloupe. (I know the head is not that big, but that's what it felt like for me.) You don't want to go because you know it will hurt, but you have no choice -- it has to come out.

I agree with the others about following your body's instincts. I think I pushed five times once that urge hit and the baby was born. I had probably been fully dilated for a while (hence the intense pressure), and once the baby got low enough, the urge to push took over.

[ChasingPeace]

Oh, pushing is the best! It is really the most powerful sensation--this feeling of power swelling up from somewhere beyond deep inside you. My body started pushing without effort, and I kind of joined in to help it along and because it felt good. I screamed along with it, but not due to pain, just because of the power of it. My advice: don't push before you're ready, and don't fight it--surrender to it, go along with it. Every woman is unique, but I wish someone had told me that pushing was the "good" part. I got IV pain meds (which, I'm told, had worn off by the time I was pushing) because I thought pushing would be intolerable, and my nurses persuaded me to do that before getting an epidural (which I wanted because I was so scared of pushing, but never got). Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have gotten the pain meds. Here's my birth story: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=120807

Good luck! Trust your body--it knows what to do!

[cottonwood]

A couple more comments:

A lot of birth attendants will tell you to push when you "feel the urge" or "feel pushy". In other words, from the mother's point of view: "I feel a slight bearing down urge therefore it is time for me to push, so I will do so." But this is, in fact, just another way to manage birth, really basically the same as saying, "I am at 10 cm. therefore it is time for me to push." It's substituting one intellectual analysis for another, and assumes that the mother has to make the choice at some point to get the baby out. In an instinctive, undisturbed birth process, this is not the case. When it is truly the right time for the baby to descend, you won't need anyone to tell you that it's okay to do so. You won't be able to keep it back, and it will happen very quickly. I'm convinced that much distress that we see in infants as they are being born is due to unnecessarily and artificially prolonging the second stage by starting pushing too soon.

Another interesting fact about the pushing stage: sometimes, as the baby descends, especially if this happens quickly, enough space will open up behind the baby in the uterus, that the uterine muscles can not get purchase on the baby to push it the rest of the way out. This is the reason that there is often a lull in labor at this point -- the "rest phase" -- it seems like things have slowed down and stopped, because the baby is not moving. In reality what is happening is that the uterus is continuing to contract until it again is snug around the baby, at which point it can begin to move the baby down again. Most women for whom this happens do not notice it because they are instructed to push whether or not they feel the urge at this point. But as long as the baby is not in distress, there is no reason for the mother to add extra efforts.

Another thing: it is to the mother's benefit to allow the body to push the baby out, as it will not do so until everything is in place in the hormonal choreography that is spontaneous birth. Meaning that the mother's hormones prime the mother's vagina for the passage of an object, just as they do in sex. But, as in sex, if the passage of this object is forced too soon, the hormones will not have had enough time to do their work and tissue trauma will result.

[firstatfourty]

My pushing stage lasted almost 3 hours, and it was the hardest part of the birth for me (by far the hardest). Too long! And I read birthing from within, and had a birth plan, did natural childbirth etc.,etc.... and listened to my body. But I was soooo nauseaus during pushing the whole time, sweating profusely not just from the hard work but from nausea, and to top it off the fetus was in distress and I kept being notified by the Doctor that we may have to do resuscitation when baby comes out or whisk her away to ICU, finally I said please don't tell me this, I can't concentrate. Anyway, I won't bore you with any more details, just giving you another view of pushing, I wish mine had felt different, but it did'nt. However, baby was born just fine and let out a loud howl as soon as she came out.

[Changed]

Originally Posted by klothos

actually... i did! :LOL http://www.klothos.com/~bestorga/Birth.html

.

Klothos, Just wanted to say I loved your birth story! Sounds wonderful to be so undirected and unmanaged. I'd never have the guts to do that. I'm glad your babe is here and well!

[2+twins]

I didn't enjoy the sensation of pushing with either of my births. But both times I knew it was time to push because my body began pushing without me. It was very very hard work the first time around because of the position of the baby (and perhaps partly b/c it was my first birth). The second time around, the baby basically flew right out. I don't remember thinking of the sensation as having to poop or anything, but I understand why some would see it like that. For me it was just overwhelming pressure that my body reacted to. Best thing you can do, IMO, is whatever feels natural. Push when it feels right and don't push if it doesn't. I think things tend to work best that way - for both you and the progress of your labor. Good luck!!!

[hahamommy]

I remember this stage better with Hayden (I had a walking epidural with Hannah, so my instincts were a bit sluggish)... I was in the tub, actually relaxing between contractions (a sure sign my body's gearing up for something!) and suddenly I had *that voice* the pushing, pooping, kinda voice and I wanted to sit on the toilet, the mw and nurse immediately told me I was pushing, but I insisted they put me on the toilet instead of the bed "IIIII haaaavvvveee tooooo ppoooooooppp" I left them no choice, I plopped down, they brought a mirror and suddenly I realized it was a head, not a turd :LOL I agree, it was the same kind of *get out of my way and let me have the toilet NOW* kind of instinct. I got on the bed (quickly, between contractions) first on my back (OWIE!), then over the labor ball (too much nipple stimulation!), then head down, a$$ up and I let my body go as it wanted... all 8 pounds, 2 onces of him came out in three pushes, one teeny tiny tear.

It's funny... I brought up the *urge to push* during the hospital-sponsored birthing course. The instructor (childless at that point) taught the class "When the doctor tells you to push OR (looking directly at me) when you feel the urge..." as if I were the only mama in the group capable of feeling such urge! :

Our bodies ARE truly amazing when allowed to do what they're designed to do... remember!!

~diana

[happyblessedmama]

I've had 2 different pushing experiences and I seem to differ from those here...

#1 was w/an epidural - never felt a need to push and it was awful. 90 minutes later, w/a vacuum & an episiotomy my little guy was born.

#2 (and this is where I differ from many other 'natural birth' folks) was completely unmedicated, and nobody told me when to push - my body decided. I had an uncontrollable urge to push. It still took me 40 minutes from that point to get my normally positioned, not terribly large (8#11) son out. I hate pushing with a vengeance. The worst part were leg cramps I'd get w/every contraction.

The best tip I had was I used a towel to do a 'tug of war' with my DH to help get the pushing to be directed downward. I don't really hope, but wish for, an easier, shorter pushing stage this time around with #3... :P

[Snowbaby]

I haven't read all the above posts but just to share my experience - the pushing was definitely instinctive. It was the only thing that made the contractions less hellish -- having said that, it was a different kind of hell (but somehow preferable to the contractions). For me, it DID feel like the biggest constipation you'll ever have and I even thought of it that way in order to push the right way ... just pictured myself taking a huge poop (times a million!).

[Aura_Kitten]

i think the biggest misconception out there about pushing is that it's something that you do ~ it's not. your body does it. when it really comes time for the baby to come out, you don't have a say in the matter. there's no active choice to bear down, nobody has to tell you to push or tells you it's "time"; your body knows. your uterus does all the work and you're a spectator.

[Sustainer]

With my first birth, I got an overwhelming urge to push, so I did, and it took about 45 mins but it only felt like 15. It was wonderful and I felt very powerful.

With my second birth, I never felt any kind of an urge to push, so I didn't. The baby came out without any conscious deliberate pushing from me.

Your body knows how to do this.

[lovemygirl]

Originally Posted by blueviolet

Another thing: it is to the mother's benefit to allow the body to push the baby out, as it will not do so until everything is in place in the hormonal choreography that is spontaneous birth. Meaning that the mother's hormones prime the mother's vagina for the passage of an object, just as they do in sex. But, as in sex, if the passage of this object is forced too soon, the hormones will not have had enough time to do their work and tissue trauma will result.

Oh Linda! This info is so cool, I never thought it it that way...thanks for this.


ETA: About pushing. To me, it's not an urge its something that is *involuntary* ---your body takes over. Kinda like when you take a poop, exactly. You sit down push a bit then spontaneously your body pushes the poo out...this is exactly how it is when you body is pushing out the baby---the ejection reflex that M. Odent refers in in Linda's post earlier.