wanted to post my hospital BF experience for new moms-to-be

[jennyriver]

so, this was 2 1/2 months ago, but reading another post reminded me of this and i wanted to just post this for other new moms-to-be.

1st, let me say that i am pretty outspoken and very firm in my beliefs. i KNEW i would BF no matter how tough it might be (but still naively thought it would come "naturally" for me and DD) and had very set ideas of how i would handle anyone in the hospital who tried to thwart (no matter how "nicely") my BF efforts. so this is why this story still makes me angry

DD was born after about 37 hrs of labor. needless to say, i was VERY tired, even though i had the "new mommy high". almost from the start, she wasn't easy to BF...i think, because my nipples are quite flat and she seemed to want "more" in her mouth. in the end, DH and i got her to latch by 1st putting a finger in her mouth until she got into a sucking rhythm, and then quickly transitioned her to my shielded nipples. but before we figured out this trick, we kept trying to BF her with just the shield (naked nip didn't work yet). she 1st BF about an hour after she was born. about 4 hours later, she woke up and while she didn't seem hungry, we tried nursing because that's what we thought we should do. the overnight nurse came in and saw us trying, unsuccessfully, try to nurse DD and asked when the last time she ate was. when we told her, she looked at the clock and said "well, she HAS to eat...it's been several hours now. she isn't going to BF and if you keep trying you'll just upset her. so, which formula do you want to use?" well, i was shocked, but since she *had* said it "sweetly" i, nicely said "none. i don't WANT to give her formula. we'll just keep trying." and she just kept saying that it wasn't good to force it on her...that if she DIDN'T eat her blood sugar levels would be off and it may indicate an infection, she may need an IV, that one bottle wouldn't ruin my BF...etc. DH and i just looked at each other and were scared...INFECTION? IV?? well, we didn't want THAT so we relented to let her try formula. she brought a bottle in and, of course, DD wasn't interested in that AT ALL! she again said she wanted to check her blood sugar and took her from us, which we allowed becasue we were scared. she came back about an hour later, saying the BS levels were fine and that DD had taken a few ounces of formula, but spit up most of it (that's my girl!) she then was off duty and when i explained what happened to the next nurse she was appalled! of course, baby's sometimes aren't interested in feeding in the 1st 24hrs and as long as you keep trying, it's OK. the lactation consultant was VERY angry and explained it was a temp fill in nurse...NONE of the regular nurses gave any HINT that they would do the same thing. DD was big at birth (9lbs, 5oz) and left at 8lbs 13oz...so lost less than the avg. baby anyway. she was fine and we went on to nurse just fine, after overcoming the flat nip issues.

i tell this story because if i had been any different type of person i probably would have just thought that nursing was too tough and stressfull for both baby and me had i just listened to that nurse and never mentioned it to the others. but also because no matter how tough i thought i was, i gave in to that formula trial because we were so worried about DD...and really, no one can make a sane decision when they haven't slept for 37 hours and had a natural birth! ok, well some women can but if you think you will stand your ground no matter what, you may be right or you may be surprised about what you're willing to do. sick baby sounded bad - formula sounded less so. BUT i am still angry at myself and this nurse that i let it happen and i just want to encourage any moms-to-be to ask for MORE help or second opinions if they face a similar situation. DD was never at any risk of becoming ill but she WAS at risk of losing out on BF had i given in any more than i had. and if you think you may be vulnerabe to this (or even not - i didn't think i would be), make sure your partner knows how strongly you feel and can back you up in case you're a bit too tired to fight off any BF sabotagers! DH and i thought we could handle this but after that baby gets here, all you want is the best and if a medical "professional" tells you it is well you may just believe them. but she was the exception to the rule so had i asked someone else's opinion we would have been told we were just fine.

so, stand strong, mamas, and if you can't, just nicely ask to see a doc or SOMEONE else for more help!

[jadegirl553]

Wow, what a story!

You're right, it is hard to make a rational decision soon after giving birth, and with so many differing opinions (I say opinion, because a lot of BFing "fact" from medical professionals seems to be more opinion-based) on what to do with your baby, it's easy to be scared and jump to conclusions.

But that nurse was way out in left field! sheesh! I'm glad that she was just a temp, tho, and that none of the regular staff would have given out that advice!

[azyre]

Thank you for sharing your story!

They also tried to coerce me into using formula, but it was by day 3, and I was pissed at being coerced during my labour and the drugs had started to wear off a bit. But it surely knocked us around a lot, the tactics used to make us concede. I was blessed in that the paed they sent us, when I requested to speak to one if my DD was in such danger she needed some supplement, was very pro-breastfeeding and more importantly, anti-formula. I mean, what would have I done had he not backed up my refusal? Things would have got a lot more complicated. I doubt I'd have been able to refuse again, for a variety of reasons. I thought she was acting normally, but I guess many new Mums with babies behaving like she was do not know it is normal and would agree to supplement - hence the nurses having no experience of a constantly nursing baby not weeing terribly much, being fine with no supplement, you know? I had read like a fiend and it is very hard to tell them that you've read a few books and they are WRONG.

And like in your story, all it takes is one maverick nurse with their own ideas to undermine a breastfeeding relationship!

[bec]

Hi Jenny!

Your story sounds very similar to mine with my first. Except she ended up being a c-section (due, I believe, to hospital interventions). My labor started with my water breaking, was told to come right in. They put me on pitocin, where I labored without pain meds (I'm pretty stubborn to, when I make up my mind ) for 9 hours until they decided to do a c-section.

I had a big baby too (10lb 6oz). I was told about blood sugar levels too. They did test her and they were slightly low (on the low end of normal, they said), she would have to go to the NICU. They gave her IV antibiotics (there was no consent, they just did it) for no reason (they actually told us it was their policy to give ecery baby antibiotics that came into the NICU). She had loads of bottles because they said the colustrum I pumped wasn't enough (they wouldn't let her nurse at first ).

We finally did whatever we had to just to get her out. The whole experience is the reason I went for a homebirth the second time around.


Bec

[loving-my-babies]

I know what you mean! you had one stressful time! for me, it was the opposite. I was ready for hospital war (took signs saying "only breastmilk, absolutely NO formula" to put in his bassinette.) but then decided to not even take the chance and he never left my side. I know it's a bit (or a lot) paranoid, but not even for tests. all screenings were done with ds in my arms, nursing, so he wouldn't feel a thing. I just can't take the chance, no one ever offered formula, but because I kept telling every nurse that came into my room to leave! next time I am definetely birthing at home! I understand your frustrations!

[bec]

I just loved my home birth. It was so peaceful, powerful and healing. My feelings in retrospect about the doctor and nurse aside, it was the single most powerful experience I have ever had. I was the one that reached down and lifted my new daughter up out of the water. There was only candlelight, with a little flashlight used to see her head and body coming out.

People said I was crazy to have a baby at home after a c-section. I told them I thought it was crazy to give birth anywhere else!


Bec

[velcromom]

It is a great idea to prepare new moms for the resistance and bad info they will likely encounter after their baby's birth. My friend ended up ff because the staff gave one bottle of formula for low blood sugar and a horrible nurse they think was an LC (but I kinda doubt it) told the mom she "blew it " and now the baby wouldn't be able to nurse. My friend, totally believing in the authority of the drs and nurses, went along with it. It was completely ridiculous.

I had to be strong when ds was born a bit early and the drs were unhappy with him losing some of his birth weight, they threatened that we'd have to supplement. I kept saying no, we'll nurse more (I could feel my milk coming in, too) and I wouldn't let the nurses take him to the nursery either. They contributed to his weight loss by taking him and not bringing him back to nurse for 6 hours!!! They thought it was more important to let me sleep. I was amazed that maternity nurses did not know a baby needs to eat every 2 hours....

The lack of knowledge out there is mind boggling, but if a new mom educates herself she may well know more than the staff! Sometimes that's what it takes to be successful at warding off bad advice that will ruin the nursing relationship.

[MrsMoon880]

Wow, I feel so lucky that I delivered my baby at the hospital that I did. They were soooo supportive of my breastfeeding, and never once encouraged me to give Evan a bottle of formula. He didn't have a bowel movement before leaving the hospital, and didn't have the recommended # of wet diapers, but the pediatrician said he'd be fine as long as he started producing more movements & urine by the 5th day, and as long as he was getting a bit of milk.

Some of the nurses were better at helped me nurse him than others, but they all helped and never mentioned formula. Two of the nurses were just wonderful and really helped me. And I had a home visit from a nurse on day 4 and she was great, too.

I'm saddened to hear that some hospitals are so unsupportive of something so natural.

[JER]

Ugghh! I don't understand why some doctors, nurses, and hospitals are not more supportive of breastfeeding!

I had a similar experience of formula being given because dh and I were scared. I had dd in the hospital. We were doing just fine with bf, but several nurses encouraged us to use "just a little" formula or sugar H20 to "fill her up". We turned down all of those offers and just kept bf until the day of discharge. dd was 6 pounds, 15 ounces at birth and weighed 6 pounds, 1 ounce on the morning we were to go home. (She probably lost all this weight because she was born FULL of poop! She pooped 9 times in her first 24 hours outside the womb!) The discharging ped. hinted (in my mind threatened) around about not letting dd go home with us unless we gave some formula!!!!! So of course that scared us tremendously and we gave her an ounce of formula to appease the demon doctor. Luckily once we were out of there we never had to use formula again.

[jennyriver]

well, i'm sure not happy to read that mine wasn't the only bad experience (bec, where did you give birth? we were at HP hosp.) but i'm not surprised either. in reality, the hospital we were at IS very pro-BF...every nurse except that one was SO encouraging and the LC there was great. i think she was worried that i was getting frustrated by DD's lack of latching but i was determined to suceed at BF so i just relaxed and remembered it's "normal" to have issues. but to hear that she may be ill, etc. was too much, esp. after such a long labor. home births are great for that reason but i'm pretty sure had we not had that particular nurse we would have not run into anyone there who was anti-BF...yet how that one nurse could have changed our whole future had i not been so determined. anyway, not only were her blood sugar levels fine, she barely lost any birth wt. and 5 days later had regained almost all of it. so i just don't want any new moms to ever feel discouraged or bullied!

[mamabeth]

That is a great story to share...not that what happened was great, but to let pg or new moms know that even if you are convinced, stuff happens! I had a similar experience where we (although we had Bradley classes, LLL, etc.) were just so tired after two days of labor and a c-sect that when everybody told us (LC's, my midwife, OB, nurses) that we had to supplement bc she was so big (10 lbs 9 oz) we did. It way backfired bc it made her sleep too long.

It's awesome to hear successful HBAC stories!! Keeps me hopeful for #2!
Peace.

[bec]

I gave birth to dd1 at Rush North Shore in Skokie. It has a pretty small maternity ward, which in retrospect was not necesarily a good thing. I know they didn't even have any LCs on staff. I don't know. There were so many things that went wrong with the labor, birth, and recovery. I worked a long time trying to get Katie to nurse. I independantly hired a LC when we were having some weight gain issues (slow weight gain that I think was caused by a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance) and fired our first pediatrician because of his insistance that I feed her formula. It was only my stubborness and refusal to give up that let me breastfeed her.

DD2 was born in my family room. We had nursing troubles from the begining. We know now that it was because of the cleft palate, and those problems were insurmountable. She will not nurse before it is repaired. Hopefully she will nurse after. However, again, my stubborness and commitment are the reasons she is breastfed today. I have the milk, I just needed to find a way to get it to her.


Bec

[JaneS]

DS was born over a year ago and I'm still upset and angry with myself "having" to give him formula.

He had high hematocrit levels, then on day 3 when we were about to leave ran a temp. so we had to stay an extra day.
(I know why this is... he was hot... he was a big baby and sleeping with me and the $^*&^%$ nurses kept insisting he be swaddled and have a hat on!) Even before he lost 11 oz (we had an over 40hr labor with lots of iv) I got the blood sugar warnings. He always tested perfect. The lactation consultant came and made sure I was producing colostrum. I was. Then the nurses got mad at me for nursing more than 15 min. per side!

Knowing what I know now, I would have gone home and asked my lactating friend for some of her milk. Or asked for banked milk. After reading Marsha Walker's article those 3 bottle of formula could have indeed caused his eczema and dairy allergy:
http://www.massbfc.org/formula/bottle.html

[BlueStateMama]

I ran into something similar, even in a very pro-BFing hospital. It wasn't the nurses in our case, but the pediatrician who made the rounds. I refused to give DS a bottle, but consented to a pipette (like an eyedropper) of formula. We continued with out nursing struggles (DS had latch difficulties and trouble with his tongue/sucking coordination and had to be "trained" to nurse.) By the time we left the hospital we were fine, but it was challenging those first few days. I would agree that it is VERY important to room-in. DS never left my side and I felt like I was in control over who did what to him.