I haven't posted in quite a while, I've been away visiting family. I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one who is tired and overwhelmed. As a warning, this post will likely be one long complaint...
Dh had a week off in July, and we drove out to see our parents. They live close to each other, but about 8 hours from us. I actually managed to get most of the packing done before the evening we were going to leave (we drive through the night so our boys will sleep). I had a lot to do, things kept coming up, but we managed. We stayed the week that dh had off with his parents. His sister and her family were there too, and she's due about 4 days after me. She married last summer and now has 3 step kids. There were other cousins there too, the boys had a good time, except there are mosquitos there (we live in a city that sprays, they live in the country) and they inherited my extreme swelling reaction to mosquito bites. Darwin could hardly walk, one foot was so swollen and blistered. And we were sleeping in a tent, which wasn't so bad, until the second night that it rained and the waterproofness just gave up. My feet and hands swelled for the first time in any of my pregnancies, it was really strange. Dh's mom was very sweet to me and her pg daughter, always telling us to go sleep or sit down and rest. Then at the end of dh's week off, the boys and I went and stayed at my parents' for three weeks. Oh, we also brought our cat, who stayed at dh's parents for about a day, and then went over to my parents because some of the cousins there were a little too enthusiastic with her and were chasing her all the time. Anyway, my parents were both working for the first two weeks. It was very mosquito-y there too, so we spent a lot of time either inside or shopping. The evenings were difficult, since my parents get home late and the boys would be all excited to see them, they would get really wound up. I would usually fall asleep with them between 9 and 10 after the exhausting ordeal of putting them to sleep, and then wake up around 2 and not be able to sleep until after 6. We ended up watching a lot of tv, I would be so tired in the morning and no one was around to look after the boys so I could shower. I felt so badly about that, but my parents house has lots of hazards. I was cleaning up one morning (almost no cleaning was done other than what I did
) and found an aerosol can of furniture stripper under the livingroom couch, for one small example. Gah. It was stressful being there, the boys were unsettled and acted out a lot, and I was tired. My belly grew a lot while I was there, I had to buy new clothes even. My parents communicate with kids very differently than I'm trying to. They are really nice, but.... I try to tell my kids, especially my toddler, what to do, as opposed to what not to do (as I think Jen mentioned earlier). If Solomon were doing something he shouldn't be, my mom would just stand there and say "Don't, Solomon, hey don't Solomon, Solomon, don't DO that!" in a really annoyed voice. It gave him absolutely no information about the situation. I explained to my brother (he's 18) at one point that I try to tell him what to do, since don't is so easy to miss and it gets confusing for kids, like telling someone not to think of a purple elephant or whatever. He was then always correcting my mom when she would say don't, it really bugged her. Anyway, I did like visiting, but I was also looking forward to going home. My parents drove us home, I was in the back between the boys for the whole 7 hours. It was very uncomfortable. And I was trying not to drink too much so I wouldn't have to pee. My parents couldn't really do much to amuse the boys from the front, and we were all cranky and tired. Ugh. I was just thinking of how wonderful it would be to get home, to my home, and be able to relax, and see dh. He was actually working a double shift that day, but figured he could be home by 10 or 11. He had called the day before to ask if it was a problem for the downstairs bathroom to be out of commission, there was some problem with the toilet and he hadn't been able to fix it. I said it wasn't a problem. So I open the door, and the laminate flooring is gone. And I open it wider, and the walls are gone. The drywall on the ceiling is gone. All of the appliances, fixtures, counters, and cabinets are gone. The downstairs bathroom is gone, except for the toilet. And I'm thinking that something must have gone horribly wrong with getting the toilet fixed and he had to gut the whole kitchen. Then I realize that Darwin is standing next to me, crying. I called dh, and apparently the cash and opportunity to do the kitchen renovations we had thought about came up, but only about 3 days before we were coming home. He wanted it to be a surprise, and thought that more would be done by then. Darwin cried and cried, said our house was destroyed, why did dad destroy our house, etc. Poor kid, he had just been going crazy in the car for like the last hour of the trip, and then he had to come home to that. His bedroom was the same, the upstairs was all the same, so we went there. I was thinking we would also have the basement, but that's where all the stuff from the main floor was being stored. My parents considered staying at a hotel, and I thought they would since we just had our room and the boys' room and literally nowhere else for anyone to sleep, but when I said that they boys could sleep with dh and I they decided to stay. They took us out to dinner and we got back late. I just wanted to cry and sleep, and my parents were standing around mostly watching me struggle to get the kids ready for bed, and helping a little bit. Dh didn't get home until 2 am. I didn't fall asleep that night until nearly midnight, and then I woke up when dh came home, at about 2 am. I had just started to drift back to sleep finally at about 3:30 when Darwin wet the bed. He had a pull up on, but I realized after that he hadn't peed since lunch time, and the pull up just wasn't enough to contain everything. Oh, we didn't have a washer or dryer either. I was wide awake again after dealing with that, and couldn't fall asleep until after 6. Solomon woke me up just after 7.
: We went to church that afternoon, and dh ended up driving me home to nap while they were there (it's 3 hours all together). This week has been exhausting. I had to buy a bunch of stuff, we're basically in the boys' room (the big bedroom) all the time if we're not out. I've been running errands in the morning, which makes the boys cranky, and then I need to rest all afternoon. Luckily we still have the fridge and microwave. But the microwave and dry foods are in the basement, the fridge is on the main floor, and we eat upstairs, so it's a lot of work to do anything. Dh washed a bunch of laundry before they started, but something happened and none of them were dried, or if they did dry, they were outside on the line, right next to where they threw all the drywall, so they had to be washed again. Now that the washer is working, it's in the basement and I dry them upstairs. I can't believe how exhausting it is just carrying the laundry around. Dh is working full time, he can't get any time off right now, and he's also putting in a full day's work on the renovations every day, so he's busy and tired too. I still haven't had a mw appointment since I've been back, it's been a month. I haven't had the home appointment yet and I'm 36 weeks; we also have yet to buy/get together anything we need for the birth. I delivered my first two at 38 weeks. I have to take the cat to the vet's and get her registered. In one week, my dh leaves for a scout camp for 4 days. I'll be 37 weeks then, I hadn't realized that until yesterday, and I had a minor meltdown. Dh doesn't think he can get out of it, but the park rangers will have phones that work there, so maybe I can call him and he can canoe out of the bush and drive the 4 hours back here if I go into labour.
: The following week, he's helping out with another youth activity for a few days. He hasn't talke to anyone at work about getting parental leave yet. September is when thing really pick up, and about half of the managers in his position quit within the last few weeks. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed by everything. I had so much more strength and energy with my first two pregnancies, with this one I feel like I'm falling apart. I know dh feels badly that the renovations haven't gone smoothly and I don't want him to think I don't appreciate all the work he's doing. The kitchen will be way better after and he is working really hard on it. I didn't want to complain or say I couldn't help out when he needed it, but by today I just told him how badly I was feeling, how little sleep I was getting, and that I really needed to get more rest, for the baby and for the kids (I get really cranky as the day goes on if I'm doing too much and not eating/drinking well enough). He's stressed out too, but I knew if I didn't say something he would keep asking me to do things I wasn't up to doing and I would just do it and then be angry with him. Today, though, a friend of mine called to say her daughter was available to come over and look after the boys for a few hours. It's been wonderful. They get so cranky with me, we're always running errands, taking care of stuff here, or I'm trying to rest and not giving them the attention they need. They're putting up walls tomorrow (dh's day off) so I think we'll be at the children's museum for quite a while.
Lol, as I go over and read that, it would seem like I've been living through this forever. We came home Sat night, so it's really only been 4 days that we've been home. The freezer is now stocked with tv dinners, frozen pasta dinners, and pizza pockets, and we have cold meat and buns in the fridge, and veggies and dip and lots of fruit. And cheese and crackers, and granola and cereal bars, and yogurt cups. I bought a bunch of craft stuff and little junky toys at the dollar store to keep the boys amused. I just hope this is done soon!
About feeling the baby drop -- I have never really "felt the baby drop." Maybe it's because I'm so short, it really isn't very different. At my last appointment, the mw said the baby's head was getting low, but it wasn't all the way down yet. I'm not feeling much more kicking in my ribcage, but I am feeling pushing and stretching between my hips and lower. So I'm guessing the baby has dropped or is dropping. But it's not really like night and day for me, I don't think it would have occurred to me that anything was very different if I hadn't heard about the baby dropping. Breathing is still difficult especially when I lie down, and I still have heartburn, and if I'm sitting I'll still get some kicks up in my ribcage. But like I said, I'm short, maybe that's why.
It's been neat reading through what I could of everyone's experiences. My hat is off to you ladies who are still working, I have no idea how you do it! Just shopping with the boys for a few hours in the morning exhausts me for the rest of the day. And I get to spend money then, not work to make money.
My kids are getting more cuddly with the baby too. Solomon is convinced that there are two babies in my tummy. He wanted me to carry him the other evening when we were out for a walk. I carried him a little bit, and when I tried to put him down he cried and cried. I started to explain that there was a baby in my tummy who was getting very big, and I just wasn't strong enough to carry him too. He started insisting that there were two babies in my tummy. Lol! I'm measuring small for dates, so I really don't think it's twins. Though the midwives have never had to search for the heartbeat, it's always right there when they put the doppler on... hmmm...
Take care everyone!