Was your birth empowering? - Page 2

[Peony]

DD's birth was empowering, I felt high for weeks. My body was made for this, and I did it, I felt like I could do anything. It is hard to put into words how I felt, it it something I can't wait to feel again. It certainly changed me, made me a better person. I was 20 years old when dd was born, I had a natural childbirth with a CNM. I am really looking forward to the next one because I am going to have a homebirth, and I can't wait for that experience.

[KKmama]

Yes, but I'd say both were... the cesarean (because both ds and I came out healthy--whew--and I was suddenly a mama) and the recent vbac.

[annakiss]

After reading all the responses, I'd like to clarify my answer. I never doubted that I could birth. I never had a moment of fear about not being able to do it. I was born at home, my sister was born at home - in my experience prior to conceiving, birthing was what women were made to do. So there was never a doubt that I could do it. And I wasn't in awe of my ability to have done it afterwards because it was normal. There wasn't a whole lot of "aren't you amazing anna", so maybe that might have helped. I was completely awestruck by the fact of my motherhood afterwards which took me out of even being able to think I was amazing for having birthed. And yes, my son's cleft made the world after birth confusing and unfair, not perfect. Because of the awe of being a mother kicked in, I'd say that birthing was very transformative and also very healing because of my ability to give into the urges of my body, something I'd had a lot of trouble with previously due to past trauma. So I change my answer to yes, transformative, but not so empowering except in retrospect.

In retrospect I can say that I am empowered by birth to have confidence in my ability to do and survive anything. I think that my original answer stems from the fact that I am currently scared to death about having another baby. Right now, I'm coping with my first birth in order to think about doing it again (I'm not sure if I'm pg or not yet, but I feel very pg at 6 dpo). I want to make sure that I confront all my fears about birth (because they still exist) so that I can have zero expectation going into it. Having no expectation helped me greatly in my first birth to let go of myself and be totally in my body, in the moment. It's not something I do very often, but birth made me see that it's a good thing.

[NatureMama3]

My first? Not in most ways. It was a typical American birth (induced, epidural, pitocin, AROM, internal and external monitors, back pushing and an episiotomy). It was only empowering in that I realized I COULD give birth and LIVE. That was a big fear of mine prior to delivering.

My second? ABSOLUTELy! It's really changed who I am. It exorcised past emotional pains, it resolved my feelings about my first birth, it changed me spiritually.

[rochellep3]

Hmm,

I had my answer ready before I read the other posts, and I have to say yes! I have a funny little anecdote, actually. I went to visit with my former professors in my engineering program. I was a little bit negative when they asked for feedback on the program. In frustration my professor finally asked me, "Well, did it at least teach you that you are tough and can do difficult things?" And without even thinking, I replied, "No, birthing 2 children with no drugs did that for me!" He was floored and didn't really have anything else to say.

Both births were more difficult for me than I expected (one hospital, one home) and both times I was left feeling that I never wanted to do that again! I must be really dumb, because here I am, 3 days away from my due date, really hoping my newest would make its arrival Truly though, I am not one of those people who enjoy birthing babies, but it does make me feel very powerful .

Rochelle
Mommy to Meg 5/00, Peter 6/02, #3 due any day

[Guest*]

Yes! My birth was very empowering. I had a quick homebirth, accidentally unassisted, with my daughter 5 1/2 months ago. It was better than I EVER imagined birth to be and I'm a very changed person. In fact, my experience was so wonderful and I'm still so high on my experience that I'm writing a book about it. 40 pages to go and I have a novel!

If I have other children, I would want their births to be at least as good as the birth of my daughter.

Janna
MY WEB SITE

[USAmma]

Very much so! My first one not so much because I really didn't know much, had a lot of fears, etc. But it all turned out just fine.

Second birth went great. I wanted an epidural and did delivery in a hospital, but it was a nice, comfy birth room with dim lights. Was surrounded by friends and dh, the staff respected my wishes in every way.

I suppose it would have been more empowering if I'd gone natural and lived to tell about it like you all did! lol!

But this was the way *I* wanted it, and everything went just as planned.

Darshani

[eilonwy]

I haven't read this thread (don't have time right now) and I"m sure I'll get flamed for it, but I found both births to be empowering. My first only in retrospect, though!

My son was born after a long, horrific labor; my doctor was horrible, and I was miserably depressed for a good bit of the pregnancy. I didn't like my doctor at all, but thought that because I'd never been pregnant before that maybe I was missing some piece of information that the doctor was privvy to. I was entirely wrong about that, but it wasn't until after my son was born that I was fully aware of it. I knew then that what I'd been feeling was right all along: I needed to trust my own perceptions. So I learned a powerful lesson, namely that I know my body and what's going on better than anyone, even if my body is doing something it's never done before.

My daughter was born via emergency cesearian (double footling breech & prolapsed cord), and that birth was very powerful for me (even though it wasn't so much a "birth" as it was a "delivery.") I felt vindicated! Finally, here was proof that I could listen to my body and know what was going on.

There's a strong message you get from these boards that if you listen to your body you'll be told to have a UC or a homebirth, but that definately wasn't the case for me. I felt very confident going into the OR that I was doing the right thing, and with my son I knew that waiting was the wrong thing to do. So while I wish things had been different with my first (vaginal) delivery, I'm glad things went the way they did with my second. Honestly I feel better about my body than ever before, because I know that I know what's going on, that I can tell what's happening and what interventions are or are not appropriate.

[2+twins]

I don't think I ever viewed my first birth as empowering, even though it was a wonderful homebirth. I had a very long, difficult pushing stage and during that time I started saying things to the midwifes like "there must be SOMETHING you can do" and I think what I wanted was not so much drugs as for them to get the kitchen knife and cut the baby out of me then and there. Me entering that place has really haunted me for a long time. I felt ashamed and a bit of a failure for going there. Years later I'm able to look at the situation a little more objectively and to see that having a moment like that is perfectly reasonable and not something I should beat myself up about. I've also come to realize how strong I was to decline an episiotomy at the very end of my pushing stage when the baby was taking sooooo long to come out. I just didn't see any of that at the time. That birth absolutely transformed me because it filled me with passion about childbirth and has forever changed me into a person who will live her life trying to help others in this respect. And that makes me proud.

My second birth was very empowering to me right off the bat. I had had 2 miscarriages just before conceiving that baby and it was sooooo important to me that I OWNED that birth (that's the best way I can think of to express how I felt). I knew going into it that I wanted to be in charge - in a way that I wasn't with my first birth despite my very awesome midwifes. I felt that I needed to catch my own baby - not my husband as we had done previously. This time it was all about me. I think because I had lost those 2 other babies, I felt like my body failed me and this time I was determined to birth this child in every sense of the word on my own. I think I wanted it so much that I willed myself somehow into a labor that was so fast that I'd leave no chance for anyone else to really help me! My husband did end up catching our baby (which was how I felt it needed to be in the moment and don't regret it a bit), but I had the most empowering experience in that unassisted birth and I am thankful every single day for it!

[fullofhope]

Absolutely!!!!! Mine was a homebirth- I felt unsure at times what was going on, like how long it would take, how far down the baby was, but ALWAYS sure I could do it. Knowing that my baby, this creature that I had been nurturing inside, was going to make his appearance by evening and that *I* was going to do the hard work for it, not my midwives or husband or mother or mil, but ME. and that he would forever be mine. I can't explain even how empowering that was. It gave me confidence that if I could birth him, I could do anything for him. I'm tearing up writing this! It was only 4 months ago.... and as soon as he was out, i was telling my husband I wanted to do it again. It was an incredible experience!

[indigolilybear]

the first (an assisted homebirth)--was not initially empowering. I didn't like how I acted nor how the MW's did. IT was not what I had envisioned/wanted. BUT as others have said here, it did give me the stepping stone to leap from! It was a "good" birth,( felt wonderful afterward, healthy mama, healthy babe)

second and third--absolutely!! both were freebirths. The first freebirth, though more empowering just walking the steps towards teh birth...in faith though shaking inside! The third, I felt wonderfully confident and had my most painfree, estatic birth ever!

But yes, I believe that birthing my babes were the most important, empowering things I've done!!