Hot Sauce!!! Are You Kidding? - Page 3

[amyandelle]

My mom put hot sauce in my mouth when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I had been over at my grandma's house and my uncle and my cousins were there and while we were eating dinner my uncle started telling dirty jokes (swearing not sexual) so I told a joke that I heard at school and everyone laughed so we kept going on and on. Well I guess my grandma called my mom (who was at home) and told her about the joke telling. When I got home my mom pulled me into the pantry and pried my mouth open and put the hot sauce in my mouth. I immediatly ran to the sink crying and gagging so hard that I threw up.

Looking back on this now I see how wrong this was of her. She never even bothered to discuss the matter with me. She just put the sauce in my mouth and left the room.

Very sad and disgusting :Puke
Amy

[whateverdidiwants]

One of the positive reviews on Amazon for Welchel's book makes reference to her advocating burning your child's favorite toy if you catch them playing with matches. That women is just plain sadistic.

[mamaofthree]

Ok first off... who would have thought Blair would grow up to be such a nut case!

I also know a couple people who use this and other vile methods of child correction. It is so messed up.

H

[maya44]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

Ok first off... who would have thought Blair would grow up to be such a nut case!
:LOL :LOL :LOL
H

As you all may know from my posts, I am raising my kids in a "rule centered household" Yet punishment, let alone physical punishment, is NEVER an option, nor desire. I'd love to explain to her why her methods are not only cruel but competely unnecessary.

[RiceMomma]

I just want to contribute to the whole question of why people, specifically Christians, would do things like this to their children... In short, because their parents did it to them, and they remember that the spanking or hot saucing or whatever "worked" in the sense that they never did what ever got them in trouble again. They think physical punishments are going to help their kids follow the rules-- maybe even follow God's commandments.

A friend of mine, when we were both pregnant with our first child (long before i had ever heard of AP, and had at that time recently been convinced by my husband that spanking was wrong- I was raised spanked- I was a soon-to-be-mom who knew very little- thank goodness for my husband for teaching me a more loving way...) Anyway, my friend told me this long story about how she did something when she was about eight years old- broke something of her father's, and her sister took the blame and got spanked, and in some twisted way, that made my freind a better person... She really believed that spanking in her family made them better-- because her parents used it sparingly- like the ultimate punishment that was always hanging over their heads.

Now I see her threatening her little boy with spankings, and it breaks my heart, and I am so grateful I NEVER went down that path. She has always spanked him-- our little ones are 3 yo now. Her son hits and is very violent. my little girl wouldn't hurt a fly. Of course, personalities come into play, but I can't help but wonder...

IMHO, as a Christian, the Bible is pretty clear about physical punishment of children. Jesus explicitly said, when speaking of the faith of children "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." --Matt. 18:6. I think that applies to all children, as they are naturally innocent and easily know God. And not to mention, Christ's exemplary life, which has already been brought up.

But many "Christians" pick and choose what they want to believe or follow. Some only go to church twice a year. They may not really even know what the Bible teaches, or they will interpret it their own twisted way, and with spankings and what-not so ingrained in their own childhood, they may grapple with what little they do know to justify their behavior.

My few cents.

[mommaluv321]

WOW!!! I've never heard of this Welchel person, and thank goodness!! you ladies have opened my eyes to some of the sadistical things ppl can do to their children!! Then again, I guess this actually reflects on our society as a whole, that it's so easily accepted and that it's OK to do this crap to your kids. I mean i've heard about putting a lil' hot sauce on food and giving it to your dog to teach them not to beg (it's association training, they associate ppl food w/ spicy hot) but using it on your baby??!!?? I mean, aren't we supposed to be the top animal on our planet? Are we sooo evolved that we need to resort to torture to teach our young?? Then again, maybe I'M the one who's CRAZY!!

[canadiyank]

Very sad...and yes, as a Christian I have often wondered WHY many churches advocate corporal punishment. Like others have said, people pick and choose what they want from the Bible - like "sheep spanking" (hilarious, BTW), I interpret it to mean "discipline" others interpret it to be literally hitting your toddler with an inch-thick stick; but yet they conveniently ignore the head-covering verses b/c that was "meant for those days."

As far as spanking/punishment being inconsistent with Jesus' teachings - I unreservedly agree! It's something I can't wrap my head around, either - BUT, had I not stumbled upon this site www.gentlemothering.com I would have been heading down the Dobson path, b/c, as someone else pointed out, that's the way I was raised.

I am not trying to defend spanking or hot-saucing Christians at all, just hopefully give some clarification, which is what was asked for, I believe. Be encouraged that there's many inter-denominational movements that are against spanking, and many books coming out, such as "How Would Jesus Raise a Child," "Grace-Based Discipline," and Crystal Lutton's "Biblical Parenting".

But still, I'm a little suspect at my church b/c we don't punish...sad, but true! And I've been gossiped about - another "no no," LOL, like THAT never happens! - the only thing I can say is we strive to be Christ-like, but we fall very, very short. Although I may be "more Christ-like" in one way b/c I don't punish my child I definitely fall short in other areas...I'm grateful for God's forgiveness in those areas.

Wanted to add that the United Methodist Church has recently taken a stand as a denomination against corporal punishment! I went to a UMC church for 3 yrs. and was thrilled to hear that!

[Viola]

Originally Posted by CerridwenLorelei

last time I 'signed' up for WP i got a nasty trojan horse...
can you pm it to me or the basics?

You can try http://www.bugmenot.com for a password to the WP site.

I liked this part of the article: "Just because something works, that doesn't mean it's a good idea," said Kimmel, author of "Grace-Based Parenting" (W Publishing Group)."Fear can be very effective as a discipline technique, but it's overkill. You haven't corrected the problem, and it means nothing in terms of building character. Our job as parents is to build character, not to adjust behavior."

[elephantheart]

That was so disturbing. I can never watch "Facts of Life" again without thinking of what a crackhead that woman is!

[KermitMissesJim]

Hey, just found this thread.

I had a buddy in NY who was from the West. He had flaming red hair and a flaming red face. We were at our friend's house eating a traditional hispanic dinner. I ate ONE little piece of a homemade hot pepper (and was sick for 3 days afterwards). He ate pepper after pepper with no ill effects, didn't even break a sweat! Even my cajun dh sweated a little when he ate these peppers. Anyway, we asked him how it was possible that he wasn't affected by these peppers. He said when he was naughty as a child his parents made him drink hot sauce.



I may see him this weekend, I should ask what he thinks of it and if he will do it when he has kids. He seemed nonchalant about it.

That is sooooooo sad about that baby. Did the mother go to jail?

[Venice Mamacita]

I'm generally pretty supportive of a variety of parenting choices, but this practice is disgusting and appalling. Chili sauce and clothes pins on little ones' tongues? Is Whelchel kidding???

As a psychotherapist who specializes in working with children and survivors of abuse, I would absolutely and without hesitation report using chili sauce on the tongue to the authorities as child abuse. Frankly, every "corrective behavior" described in the article is reportable in the State of California.

I grew up in Florida, where my mother used to rub Tabasco on our lips (which burned worse than on our tongues) when we used the phrase "shut up." As a survivor of this -- and many other questionable tactics -- I will tell you that the effect this had on my two younger brothers and me was similar to being hit . . . it fostered nothing but feelings of anger, resentment, and mistrust toward our mother. These feelings continue 25 years later, and even though we know that she is now sorry for what she did then, it doesn't really help . . . the memories last a lifetime.

Finally, as the mother of an active, challenging, beautiful 17 m/o little boy, I'm deeply saddened that in this age, when parents have so much more information, they continue to choose these kinds of abusive behaviors. Lisa Whelchel and the rest of her ilk should be ashamed of themselves.

And they better hope their children never wind up in my treatment room.

[DesireeH]

That is so so sad. People are sick!

[Penalt]

Originally Posted by Charles Baudelaire

Okay, without trying to offend Christians on this board, I have a genuine, NON-rhetorical question.

Why do so many conservative Christians (e.g., some of the people mentioned in the WP article, the Pearls, and [I think] Ezzo) practice what many of us here on this board would consider to be punitive, authoritarian, cruel, or just outright abusive methods of parenting?

<snip>
Explanations, anyone??

They do it because they believe that they are doing what they have to do. Its not that they want to be or considered to be punitive, authoritarian, cruel or abusive, at least I hope not. Its because they are doing what they believe they have to do.