no pain meds

[MommytoTwo]

I was going to entitle this Natural Childbirth but what I mean is simply no pain medication (and obviously this refers to hospital births)
I was thinking - what do you think is the difference between women who get meds and those who dont? I dont mean the ones who know they are getting an epi as soon as they get there. I mean women who fully plan on going med-free and then want drugs, and the women who go natural.
I am NOT trying to start a debate - what I am getting at is that I plan to not have meds, but how do I know that I wont be one who begs for it when I get there? I dont want that.

Do you think its preparation? Determination? Mind-set? Support?
What makes the difference?

[doctorjen]

I think it's a little bit of all of those. Being prepared for labor to hurt helps. Being determined to get through it helps. Having good support, and especially not having folks around who undermine you is very important. If at the peak of an intense transition contraction someone says to you "This is only going to get worse, why don't you let us give you something to take the edge off?" you're more likely to feel you need pain meds than if someone says "You are working so hard and doing such a great job. Your baby will be here soon."
Also, having watched a lot of women labor, I believe some labors are just more intense and painful than others. And time plays a factor. Having a 24 hour labor after you've been up all night with a sick child is harder than having a 6 hour labor after you've slept all night.
I've had all of mine without pain meds, but I've been lucky to always go into labor after a full night's sleep and had relatively short labors. I've barely missed a meal, let alone a night's sleep in my birthing career. I don't think you can plan on that, but it sure made it easier for me.

[thepeach80]

For me the thing that made me crack was 1) pitocin kicks your butt and 2) I was no prepared at all! I took the hospital class and it was basically crap. I'm self studying the Bradley method thid time (I would take the class but DH is out of town a lot) and I'm getting a doula to help. I know from what went wrong last time what to do right this time. I ended up w/ a c/s last time and I'm determined to have a med-free VBAC this time. I think moms you truly want to go natural and have never done it, should seek a class geared towards med-free births, not just getting through till you can get an epi, b/c now days, you can get an epi whenever you want it.

[pageta]

I was 90% certain that I would not have drugs and the 10% chance was mainly, in my mind, if I had a c-section. However, after 18 hours of labor with contractions less than 5 minutes apart and terrible back labor (including overnight so not much sleep either and no food during that time either) with progress to only 3 cm, I got an epidural. I was exhausted and I just couldn't do it anymore. I was lucky that the staff I had surrounded myself with managed to get me to a vaginal birth 12 hours after I got the epidural - I believe that almost any other doctor in town would have done a c-section in my case. I was very informed about how to have a non-medicated birth (extensive reading and a really good natural birth class), but I was so tired I ran out of steam for doing it without drugs. Next time, I have the same certainty that I will give birth without using drugs. But again, we'll see.

[cottonwood]

"Do you think its preparation? Determination? Mind-set? Support?
What makes the difference?"

Sure, that all makes a difference. Also avoiding interventions, hospital policies, and styles of birth management that make labor harder, and interaction with people who would be very happy for you to take pain meds.

For me, the single most important factor in whether I got pain meds or not was whether they were available to me or not. I've had excruciating back labor with all three of my births, and I can say without a doubt that if I'd been in a hospital I would have been begging for drugs. This from a woman who understands very well the risks involved to myself and the baby.

[Eman'smom]

The short is it all makes a difference.

For me however ( I had narcotics the first time, big waste did nothing, and nothing the second time). It was knowing what to expect (we shouldn't have listened to the numbers) and support. During number 1 dh listened to my crazy transition words, with number 2 he listened to what I knew I wanted.


We ds, I hit the "I can't do this anymore" stage, and dh and I should have realized that things were getting close. I asked the midwife to be checked and was only at 5, I thought there is no way I can do this much longer (in the last 2 hours I'd only gone from 4-5). I get Fentanol (big mistake) it does nothing for me, I ask for more of something, midwife say's well I'll have to check you then. Well guess what, she said you are 8-9 and listen for when your body tells you to push.

Knowing that, when I hit the " I can't do this anymore" stage with dd we knew we were getting close. Dh was able to offer support and know that it wouldn't be much longer.

[onlyboys]

I think a difference can be made if the mama can stay upright was much as is humanly possible.

Position for me had EVERYTHING to do with the amount of pain/outlook of that pain.

[Destinye]

Having an alternative like homeopathy, hypno-birthing, bath tub, and being able to move around helped me, though I might have crumbled in the hospital if I went there, just wanted to suggest these options though!

[Artisan]

I agree that all of those things make a difference. Plus the availability of pain meds makes a difference. My first was born in a hospital, and I got an epidural because I was in what I perceived to be excruciating pain. This time, my baby was born in a birth center and no epi was available. I knew the only way to stop the pain was to get the baby out.

I agree that staying the heck out of the bed made a giant difference. First of all, laying in bed (especially on your back) is very painful. Plus it puts you in the patient mindset. Care providers also see you laying in bed in pain and want to do something to fix it -- they see you as a patient rather than as a birthing woman. You're a much more formidable force on your feet, on the birth ball, in the tub, etc.

[Changed]

If you are dead set on a drug free birth, as I am this time, maybe wait longer to go to the hospital. I'm thinking i'll wait until there is no time to get an epi. The other drugs make me sick as a dog. I'm not trying to be brave I just don't want an epi to start breastfeeding off on the wrong foot. That's my motivation. I also read birthing from withing and LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Very helpful!

[magemom]

Having done it both ways, for me the difference was education. Both for me and DH. He did not want to see me hurt at all. But he understood my reasons for no meds and was very encoraging when I was feeling low. I also had an awesome nurse who was not for just anyone. When I was about 7, I begged for meds, said I couldn't do the back labor anymore and she said 'ok, I'll be right back' and never left. She listened to me and read my birthplan about WHY I didn't want meds (neg effects to me and my babies in the past) She did appologize later for not getting me meds. She said had she known I was having an 11 pound posterior baby she would have encouraged something. But I think I could have declined had it been offered.

I do admit that pain free was nice, but the control I felt for the first time in birth (even feeling out of control, if that makes sense) was so much better, I am looking forward to this again.

[Almamiel]

I labored for over 24 hours - very painful back labor - and honestly what worked is that dh just told me "no" when I decided I couldn't do it any more (transition). We had discussed it beforehand, and from what I've read, almost every woman reaches a point when she thinks she can't do it anymore and wants drugs. We decided that if I got to that point, it was his job to tell me I was doing fine, the baby was on her way and that I wasn't going to get any drugs. It may sound a little like taking the choice away from me, but it worked for us and I was so happy he helped me get through it the way we had hoped.

[MommytoTwo]

Thanks everyone. When I was in labor with DS I was on Pitocin the whole time - and Peach I agree the stuff is horrid. I wanted an epi and finally got it an hour before my c/s (33 hours of labor altogether...not all of it horrible). But I knew I wanted an epi when I walked in. So I dont know what to make of the determination I have this time to go without. I do plan to get to the hospital as late as I can (mainly because I am a VBAC and dont want to be messed with). And my reason for not wanting an epi is mainly that because DS was posterior and I was flat on my back there wasnt anything I could do about it. (of course they didnt actually tell me that till AFTER he was born- thanks a lot) But if this baby is in a bad position I want to be able to MOVE. Thats my reason. I havent taken any classes this time but I have a GREAT doula and a super supportive DH who both know exactly what I want.

[linnea]

The thing that made the difference for me was that I was sick with a brutal sinus cold when I went into labor. I had planned and prepared for a medication-free birth, but wound up asking for an epidural, and I don't feel in the least bit guilty or cheated. I had been unable to sleep for over 24 hours BEFORE I went into labor because I was so sick. I labored as long as I could without meds, but when the contractions got so intense that they left me literally zombified afterwards, I knew I did not have the strength to make it to the end without some help. My anesthesiologist was fantastic, gave me just enough to let me get some rest and store up my energy for pushing, and by the time it was time to push, the epi had worn off enough that I could feel the contractions again and push without direction.

I would make the same decision again if I had to, but I hope that my next birth can be medication-free.

[orangebird]

Originally Posted by MommytoTwo

Do you think its preparation? Determination? Mind-set? Support?
What makes the difference?

I think it is mental, but more importantly support. I was fully prepared and commited to go au naturale with #1. We discussed it with the OB, read tons and talked to people. DH and I were HUGE hippy nature people at the time and it meant more than anything to me. We were also young though and relatively inexperienced in the world, especially the medical world. We were really into the LeBoyer method, gentle birthing. Not the bath part but the natural birth, dim lights, quietness, etc. The OB said the "birth plan" we brought in sounded great. Well, when I got to the hospital, they called it a "birthing center" and touted it as family friendly , the first thing the nurse had me do was get in bed and strapped a monitor around my belly. I thought it was temporary but despite the fact my sons heart rate stayed perfect she would never let me take it off. She placed an IV in my arm, I tried to refuse it, she said she needed to start fluids since from now on I cant eat or drink Then when I said I want to get up and walk around, it hurts too much to lay in the bed, she said I can't because it would be too much trouble with all the equiptment. OK, what the hell is that about? At the time I was so naive. Naive and in so much pain. I didn't know I could stand up for my self and tell them to f off. My dear husband didn't either, he was just as naive and scared. We dumbly thought the nurses had that kind of authority. We blindly trusted them. After a few hours she told me I wasn't relaxing enough with the contractions. She said I needed an epidural. I said I don't want an epidural, I just want to get out of bed. I needed a new position. She helped me get a little on my side (gee thanks!) I was still stresses out and writhing around in pain with the contractions. She still refused to let me out of bed. She said If I didn't get an epidural I would harm my baby. I got the epidural. Biggest regret of my life. When it was time to push they said they turned down the medicine, that I should be able to feel enough to push. Nope. I couldn't feel a damn thing. Three hours later, pushing to the stupid 1-2-3-4-5-6... I still couldn't feel anything. The nurse got two more nurses and they stood over me and pushed on my belly while the DR used the suction to pull. OK, I am now a NICU nurse and have done L&D, do you know how dangerous that technique is????? Luckily my son was OK, but I regret that whole birth so much.

For my second I had a homebirth. Even though I am now much wiser and could theoretically have the guts to tell the nurses where to go with their stupid drugs and rules, I still didn't trust it. Especially with my second DH being a daddy for the first time. I didn't trust him to stand up for me and I don't trust me as a good advocate for myself when I am in that much pain. The homebirth hurt probably as bad but it was so much better. The midwives trusted my body to do the right thing and I trusted my body.

I think the thing that makes or breaks the hospital birth is having someone there who you can count on to be vocal and figure out if the staff is suggesting things for REAL emergencies or just perceived ones. I think education is important but most important is education about the way hospital births are run versus what is natural and healthy. Distinguishing what really needs intervention versus the lame timetable of interventions that goes on in a hospital. Learning the normal variations of labors and having the person who speaks for you aware of these things as well. I would never have a hospital birth again without bringing my own attendant, a midwife or experienced doula to see through their protocol garbage.

[orangebird]

I saw someone mentioned Birthing from Within. I have read probably every birthing book out there. I am a birthing junkie. Hands down, once you get past all the art stuff (although you might enjoy that part too) it is the most helpful book out there for people wanting a natural birth. I recommend it to everyone, even, and perhaps especially, people trying to have a natural birth in the hospital setting. It is wonderful. What is the authers name, Pam something.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by mara

I saw someone mentioned Birthing from Within. I have read probably every birthing book out there. I am a birthing junkie. Hands down, once you get past all the art stuff (although you might enjoy that part too) it is the most helpful book out there for people wanting a natural birth. I recommend it to everyone, even, and perhaps especially, people trying to have a natural birth in the hospital setting. It is wonderful. What is the authers name, Pam something.

Pam England. I loved that book, I read from it every day when I was pg. For me it was a combo of things. Education, I knew what side effects pain meds can have, I read very thing I could get my hands on about birthing. preperation.I spent HOURS self-studying the Bradley method and Birthing From Within, I practiced very night before bed. Mind set, I WAS NOT having pain meds, when it got really painful, I got through it by thinking about the millions of women who have birthed for years naturally, if they could, then I could to. I didn't have much support, DH was scared to death, if I would of said boo to him, he would of fallen over! My labor wasn't a pinic, 19 hours long even after being at 4 cm for weeks, but I knew what I wanted and I was getting it. now I culdn't think of doing it any other way.

[nikirj]

Well, for me personally - my first birth, when it might have been tempting, I sent the anesthesiologist home. I had tons of support and would have made it anyway, but there being no anesthesiologist meant that the nurses never offered. With my second, I delivered 7 minutes after arriving at the hospital.

I think it boils down to (in this order from most to least important, for most women) 1)education 2)support 3)persistence 4)lack of pushy nurses/doctors 5)innate pain coping mechanisms, pain threshhold 6)individual differences in births (things like back labor, different body shapes, large babies, etc).

Remember....JMHO, I'm sure you'd all have different takes on it.

[ChasingPeace]

I got IV pain meds because:
1-I had bad back labor, which I wasn't expecting. Next time I'm going to read "Back Labor No More."
2-I had prepped for labor and birth with a hypnosis class which emphasized that you needed to believe you wouldn't feel pain. This did NOT work for me.
3-I was afraid of the pushing. I kept thinking, "oh, it's just going to get worse. I can't handle it now--what will happen later?" I didn't want to "lose my chance" to get pain meds. In reality, the pushing was great (the pain meds had worn off by then), so I worried and got meds for nothing.
4-I BEGGED for an epidural, but fortunately it was too late. After ds was born, my nurse said "we knew you were in transition when you were begging for an epidural." LOL Have someone remind you that this is temporary when you go through transition.

Good luck!

[stafl]

I really can't speak for anyone but myself.
For me, the reason my first birth ended with cesarean after a typical intervention-avalanche was that I didn't realize how hard it is to fight hospital policy. I was educated, I'd read all the right books, but I wasn't really prepared for the way I was treated in the hospital by the on-call ob (my doc wasn't on call that weekend) and the nurses there. How, every time I questioned anything at all I was treated like a juvenile delinquent and it was hinted that I cared more about "natural childbirth" than the safety of my baby. I had no idea of the emotional blackmail that would go on and all the psychological tricks they have of manipulating patients into compliance. So, for the birth of my second DD, I made sure to give birth in a supportive atmosphere (ie, not at the hospital if I could at all help it). I also did a much better job of educating DH about what I wanted, and why, so he could help me stand up for the things I believed in.
In short, the difference for me was in preparedness (not necessarily education) and in choosing the right care providers and birthing place for me and my unique situation.