Article in the Washington Post - letters needed

[whateverdidiwants]

Do Me A Favor, Keep a Lid on the Double Latte

I admit it: I'm lactose intolerant.

The latest assault on the right to a peaceful cup of Joe comes courtesy of Lorig Charkoudian, a Silver Spring woman who not only wants to breast-feed her daughter at Starbucks whenever she likes but expects me to avert my eyes or leave if I don't share her enthusiasm for double breast milk latte. It's not enough that a new Maryland law supports her right to lactate in public -- no, she wants Starbucks to issue a nationwide corporate policy supporting her position.

.....
The "it's natural, it's beautiful" lobby says nursing is nothing to be ashamed of and the rest of us just need to get over it. Let's talk natural. Scratching in inappropriate places is natural. Clipping toenails is natural. Passing gas is natural, as is picking one's nose. None poses a health threat to those around us, and we probably all have a legal right to do so in public. But we don't because we have decided, in our arbitrary, old-fashioned way, that some things are not done in polite society. My 12-year-old son can belch impressively, and correctly states that in some societies it is considered a compliment to the chef. Not in my household, buster.

She also uses the term "Breast Nazis" in the article too.

My response has already been sent to [e-mail] - please send yours too.

[polka hop]

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[Clarity]

FURIOUS! Don't need this crap hand delivered on my doorstep this morning. I don't even think I can express myself clearly enough to write. And I think this is the same Roxanne Roberts whose on the sunday morning NPR quiz show..."Whaddaya Know?"

[whateverdidiwants]

FTR - this is what I wrote:

Roxanne Roberts is totally off the mark (Do Me a Favor, Keep a Lid on Your Double Latte, Aug 11) when she said "But overt public breast-feeding makes lots of people uncomfortable, so this is less about nursing than about imposing a belief system on those who do not share her views. It's about who offends whom, for what reasons, in what settings. It's not about rights, per se. It's about taste and prevailing social norms. "
The whole reason that nursing in public offends people is because we have allowed our taste and social norms to be dictated by the mighty advertising and entertainment industries, who have declared that breasts only use should be to hawk alcohol, cars, cell phones, and any other product they're trying to push on us, or to titilate us.I truly hope she isn't suggesting that we should allow these influences to warp our view of the human body even more than it has been already. Breasts are meant to feed babies first. Period.

Lorig Charkoudian was absolutely correct in rejecting the request that she nurse her baby in the bathroom. Since when has the Department of Health approved restrooms as appropriate venues for the consumption of food? To equate the nourishment of a child with urination and defecation is ingnorant at best, insulting at worst. Speaking of insulting, Robert's use of the term "Breast Nazis" - equating women who advocate the right to nurse their children with a genocidal regime - shows her true feelings about those of us who think that the right to breastfeed is a serious issue, regardless of whether or not she nursed her own child.

[velcromom]

Yuck, that woman's attitude is bizarre. Nursing in public is equal to farting in public? Sick. Here's my letter:

What a disappointment to see such an article. It is rather disturbing that a grown woman who nursed her babies herself is bothered by the remote possibility she may actually see a few square inches of another woman's breast. It is further disturbing that she equates nursing in public with farting and picking one's nose. It is even more disturbing that she was able to publish her article and perpetuate the myth that nursing in public is 'gross' or 'inappropriate', as well as perpetuating the myth that breasts are an exclusively sexual part of the body. A baby nursing at the breast, bared or not, is not a scene to be banished behind closed doors. Thinking in sexual terms as a response to the sight of a babe breastfeeding is illogical and incorrect, although common in today's society. The author is absolutely correct when she says that her point of view is "arbitrary and old fashioned".

The author needs to realize there is no such thing as the right not to be offended. She needs to learn to look away when she sees a breast or a speedo, if she prefers not to see them.

But thank you for reminding me that our society has a long way to go in breastfeeding acceptance, and for encouraging me to nurse my son in public today.

[degeeter]

[cinnamonamon]

:Puke Pathetic.

[melamama]

thanks for posting this. I'm so infuriated that doing the right thing can be so culturally unacceptable.

[whateverdidiwants]

I know, melamama. How DARE that woman want there to be a companywide policy, the absolute NERVE of her.

I was tempted to add a bunch of stuff about how there is no way in hell that a big hairy man in a Speedo would be asked to eat in the bathroom, nor would a woman wearing hipster jeans with her butt crack peaking out. Mothers with babies are seen as easy to push around, almost as if by having a baby one regresses to babyhood themselves. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[chewymama]

Pretend you're not nursing in public and I'll pretend not to notice

I'm outraged, just so frustrating. Why should anyone pretend not to feed their child. I'm proud that I'm nursing!

[Harper]

This made me so angry. I'm still working on my letter. Where did this appear in the paper? Op-ed? How dare they publish this and not give an alternate view point.

This is the same Roxanne Roberts on Whaddya know. I love that show but now it is going to bug me everytime she is on it.

[KellyK]

To whom it may concern: I found this article extremely offensive and will not buy your paper again. I am also going to suggest to all of my coworkers, friends and relatives, that until or unless your paper issues an apology they also boycott your paper. Breastfeeding is every childs right and by advocating the idea that it is something a woman should be ashamed of you are making it harder for women to give their children the healthiest possible nourishment."

Thats what I sent. (I've never bought the paper before but now I'll definitely never buy one! )

[whateverdidiwants]

Harper - it was actually in the Style section, of all places.

[polka hop]

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[TigerTail]

Originally Posted by whateverdidiwants

Mothers with babies are seen as easy to push around, almost as if by having a baby one regresses to babyhood themselves. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

it's funny; i haven't had half the stinkeye (or the one comment) when i've nip'd with my big hairy dh around. i think even idiot jackasses have some self-preservation instincts, ykwim?

in the natural world a nursing mother is vulnerable to attack, & it gets bullies to think they can pick at her & get away with it. cowards, to attack a mother nursing her baby- if they saw a nature film with a nursing mama deer get shot by a hunter, what would their kneejerk opinion be of that? but because we're human, they just don't see the parallel.

i cannot describe the look on the face of the one **** who decided she was going to publicly shame me. the trembling with rage & disgust, the *excitement*. those of you who've had this happen- am i right? speaking of nazis, i'd hate to see a mob that was generating those vibes.

ALL of society needs to stand up & say ENOUGH. go eat in the pissoir yourself if you like it so much.

suse

[ericaz]

here was the worst part for me:

For the record, we do not believe babies should starve. We think it's possible for a mother to nurse, strap the kid in the car seat and have an unattached hour or so. There are also fathers, babysitters and breast pumps.

WTF? so, by that she means i need to pump or hire a babysitter if i want to go sit down with a coffee? and furthermore, not all moms have husbands or boyfriends if they can't afford to hire a babysitter or buy a pump thankyouverymuch.

what galls me is that this woman DID breastfeed! how on earth could she write this drivel without feeling the least bit ashamed?

what is the BIG DEAL????!!! we're talking about lovely, gorgeous, HUMAN breasts. not dogshit, not salmonella, not monkey brains - but the most natural thing in the entire world. it saddens me to think that soooooooo many people in this world equate breastfeeding in public with other activities like picking your nose (which i do, i might add...hey, you need to get rid of a few boogies, you pick. no, it's not ladylike but nose comfort is a priority. and i promise i always wash after picking!) or farting (again, guilty as charged!) or - the HORROR - belching.

give me a break. this world is nuts i tell you. NUTS.

[lotusdebi]

This is what I wrote. Feel free to critique it before I send it off:

To Roxanne Roberts;

I was deeply offended by your opinion piece about breastfeeding in public.You would have me deny my child the most nutritious, comforting, loving thing he can currently imagine - breastmilk - when we go out and about. You would prefer that I leave my child with a caregiver (if I'm able to find one), leave him screaming in a carseat (how is that not offensive?), or keep him at home with me (women are best kept at home - barefoot and pregnant, right?). Excuse me, but my child and I BOTH have the right to go into Starbucks or any other place of business. My child has the right to be fed or comforted at the breast. I have the right to provide that to him. If you find it offensive, look somewhere else. I'm not interested in having you watch my child eat. Why do you feel the need to watch? Unless you want to show your support for me providing the best food for my child, or you want to ask intelligent questions about it, then leave me and my kid alone already! I don't approach you about the offensive the t-shirt you're wearing, or how gaudy your shoes are! You have every right to wear that t-shirt and those shoes, and I have every right to ignore your fashion faux pas. It would be rude for me to expect for you to keep your nasty clothes at home. It would be rude for me to ask you to leave, since the sight of you offends me so. It's even more rude for you to ask me to cover myself up and make my child suffer. Because then you are not only trampling my rights, but the rights of my helpless child who can go no where else for what he needs.
Get a clue, Roberts. My breasts are not for your enjoyment. They are not here to make you comfortable or uncomfortable. My breasts are for one thing, and one thing only: breastfeeding. My child has every right to have a drink when he's thirsty. If he's thirsty while I'm sipping my Starbucks Chai Latte, then he can have a little Mama Latte of his own. I'm certainly not going to force him to be "unattached" from his primary caregiver just so I can buy myself a coffee. I am mama. I am meant to be attached to my child, as he is to me. We are a unit. If Starbucks wants my business, they will create a national store policy that welcomes nursing moms. Otherwise, I'll take my money elsewhere, and encourage other mamas to do the same.

Sincerely,

[my name]

[Lula's Mom]

riotkrrn, really good letter. Good for all of you who can organize your thoughts... I hope I'll be able to do so as well.

My DF came home yesterday and said there was a debate raging on his CAR FORUM about the Starbucks woman! :LOL He posted statistics about bf and argued with the guys who were saying women shouldn't nurse in public "unless they're hot" Yes, someone really said that.

I'm so proud of him.

[Peony]

I sent a e-mail too. I said that my child drinking her milk offends the author then the author drinking her latte offends me! :LOL

[monkey's mom]

Short and sweet:

"I am astounded that The Post would publish such garbage. Breast Nazis? Are you serious? You let this go to press? I'm stunned. Truly."

I hate the world.