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Homebirthing Moms 2005 - Page 3

post #41 of 163
Hi there!

I'm Mary (Mar) and you'll be shocked to hear that I am a chiropractor. I have also provided chiropractic doula services. I haven't been practicing for the past 9 months since we (DH is a chiro too) sold our practice in northern Wisconsin and moved to the Quad Cities (eastern Iowa) to teach. My husband is teaching at the Chiro school we both went to and I am doing the SAHM thing for now. We are planning to open a practice with a close friend and all work part time starting in October.

I have two kids. DS is recently 4. He was born at home with a lay midwife. She was great and only did things I asked her to do (ie cervical checks etc) but when I found I was pregnant with Child number two (DD age 18 months) I decided that having her present created an environment that made me go too much into *educated* thinking instead of instinctual behavior so I decided to go unassisted with DD. It was a fantastic experience and one I plan do do again with this pregnancy.

I am due in late January. One way I kinda "fudge" on the dates to keep people off my case is by counting my pregnancy from conception instead of from LMP. This way I seem two weeks less preggo that I really am to most people plus it just makes a hell of a lot more sense to me anyway. I know I will more likely have the baby at 38 weeks but others don't. I had both my other two within days of my real "due date".

I am excited to have this thread because I was having trouble feeling as connected to the regular due date club which seemed to be focusing on a lot of pre-natal testing and such which I can't really relate to well. I also hang out at the UC (Unassisted Childbirth) thread a lot but we are due at all different times so it is nice to compare bellys and such with those closer in the actually process.

post #42 of 163
Thread Starter 
Mar, hello! Congratulations on your home birth and unassisted birth. We may try that on a future baby. For the first one, I'm really glad we have a good midwife available. What do you do as a chiropractic doula? I have a chiropractor visit coming up, my first one ever, because my midwife recommended it. I'm not sure what to expect.

Heidi, that makes sense what you said about the sliding scale. Sounds like we should pay whatever we can pay, rather than what we'd like to pay. This is making me feel a little guilty that our midwife only charges $1500. I'd pay twice that in a blink, alth DH may do more than blink. Maybe we can find a really good gift to give her at the end, something that will really help.

I'm 16 weeks now and have only felt one kick, and that was two weeks ago. : What is that baby doing in there? The midwife said (at 14 wks) that she could feel the baby moving all around in there. But I know it may be another month before I feel regular movement. Maybe my placenta is anterior. Anyone else feeling movement yet?
post #43 of 163
Originally Posted by jessitron
I'm 16 weeks now and have only felt one kick, and that was two weeks ago. : What is that baby doing in there? The midwife said (at 14 wks) that she could feel the baby moving all around in there. But I know it may be another month before I feel regular movement. Maybe my placenta is anterior. Anyone else feeling movement yet?
First time moms generally don't start feeling the baby move until around 20 weeks- don't worry!
If you have another baby, you'll recognize the sensations earlier.

I'm 18 weeks and have been feeling mine mostly since about 16 weeks. In this last week the movements (at least to me) have stepped up a whole bunch and now I KNOW I'm really pregnant.

Mar, I think there's less talk of testing going on in our due date club these days. I was feeling a little out of place too- I am probably the only one there who hasn't heard my baby's heart beat and all that other STUFF.... though i do have a mw, I haven't had a prenatal or anything yet.
post #44 of 163
A chiropractic doula is kinda a rare thing. For me it meant primarily, providing chiropractic care to the mother during the entire labor and immeadiately after the birth. I also check the baby and clear its spine immeadiately following the birth as the birth process as well as in-utero constraints can really whack the poor little thing out. These subluxations (vertebra out of place which are affecting proper nervous system function) to mom and especially to baby can have a major impact on overall health issues.

Getting adjusted prior to and even during labor can both ease some painful aspects of labor (ie back labor etc) as well as help reposition the pelvis and hence the baby during labor when the process seems to stall due to positional issues. (I have some crazy stories of babies moving drastically while adjusting mom and all but flying out!) An upper cervical (upper neck) adjustment can also really stimulate the hormonal system and sometimes speeds labor to higher efficiency.

I also normally provide more traditional doula services as far as advocating for the mother's wishes and helping ensure that she knows what all her option really are. Home births are always more fun for me because I really just adjust when needed and tell the mom she can do it (emotional support). Hospital births make me a little crazy even when the mom is trying to go natural because I see all the things well meaning (usually) staff do to undermine the birth process. Aaarrggh!

It's been a while since I attended a birth (since before dd was born) and it will be interesting because some of my birth attitudes have shifted since I was last doula-ing. Now that I have become so sold on the philosophy of UC for me, it may be hard for me to even see a midwife assisted homebirth and not think that everyone (myself included) should just go away and leave the mother alone. I will be attending my sisters birth next month and I am interested to see how I feel about it.

post #45 of 163
jessi- I haven't felt any movement yet either and I'm nearly 17 weeks with my second...and I'm fairly skinny. Just depends on the mom and the baby. Maybe our babies are shy

Pam- sounds like the first midwife you interviewd is really great. We are interviewing a midwife next monday. I think I would like to meet with one other midwife before we make a decision.

Chiromom - something you said was kind of interesting to me: "I decided that having her present created an environment that made me go too much into *educated* thinking instead of instinctual behavior so I decided to go unassisted with DD." I love to read and I tend to read just about anything I can get my hands on. For my first, I read all the "normal" What to Expect.. books and My dh made me stop reading 'cause it freaked me out. This time I have read Birthing From Within and Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. I love these books but I kind of think by reading I get all "thinky" about pregnancy instead of just enjoying the miracle. I think I'll go back to learning to knit when I need a rest...
post #46 of 163
Thread Starter 
Thanks for some reassurance. If it weren't for that one kick, I wouldn't be as anxious about feeling movement. It is still early. I'm not looking forward to the part where the baby wiggles when I'm trying to go to sleep.

Mar, that's fascinating! I have a lot to learn about chiropractry (sp). Between that and herbs and natural remedies and foods, this pregnancy is teaching me about lots more than babies.

Jess, ha ha, What to Expect should be called "How To Be a Paranoid Pregnant Woman." In contrast, Ina May's books emphasize letting go during labor and letting our bodies do their things. I'm a thinking type too, so I need all the encouragement I can get to let go of that. Eep, a little scary.

I'm off to the bra shop. Time for a second round of new, larger bras.
post #47 of 163
Originally Posted by Chiromom
it may be hard for me to even see a midwife assisted homebirth and not think that everyone (myself included) should just go away and leave the mother alone. I will be attending my sisters birth next month and I am interested to see how I feel about it.

Lurking little sister chiming in!

I am greatly reassured to know that a chiropractor (not just any chiropractor, but my darling sister) will be on hand to help me and my child as we find our path to birth! I have found being adjusted by chiromom to be very relaxing. And I've seen great results from it!
I highly recomend chiropractic care to any pregnant moms out there considering it. When i compare my aches and pains to other women posting in my due date club, I feel very fortunate to have regular chiro care.

my two cents
post #48 of 163
I thought about going unassisted, but we're using the same mw we used last time. She was respectful of me wanting a "hands off" labor--mostly she and dh chatted in the next room while I labored. I did really like her being there for afterwards though--I needed some stitches and of course she handled the clean-up. IF I needed any extra help, I like that she's there because dh, as good as his intentions are, would be useless!

I hang out on another due date board (not quite sure why) and there is a LOT of talk about prenatal testing. I've begun to worry that people will think I'm a troll because on issues of testing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. etc. I always seem to be the voice of dissent. Ah well, I guess that's the "real world."
post #49 of 163
Chiromom - I am seeing a chiropractor already, just about weekly, and let me tell you, he's my new best friend. My sacrum locked up on me about a month ago (we think I overstretched my pelvis doing yoga - go Relaxin), and I've been seeing him since. He's awesome. I'd love t figure out a way to have him around during labor, what a good idea.

Joan - I still hang out on my TTC board over at fertility friend... not only am I the ONLY homebirther, but it appears i'll be the only cloth diaperer, the only non tester, non vaxer, etc etc. Thank god for MDC
post #50 of 163
It's kind of funny here at MDC...I don't consider myself THAT crunchy. I have a lot to learn...Mostly I joined to come learn from the more crunchy, but sometimes it's hard to get the kind of advice I'm looking for. My due date club talks a lot about the testing and to CD or not. This thread is really nice.
post #51 of 163
Thread Starter 
Crunchy! I love that word.

At Fertility Friend and (even more) BabyCenter, the chicks are all obsessed with their ultrasounds. Most of the posts are "Two more weeks! why can't they schedule it earlier?" Not getting the ultrasound has made this part of the pregnancy much calmer for me. I have no problem waiting another six months to find out the gender.

Jessie, is CD cloth diaper? I have to decide that too. MIL will be involved in that decision because she's going to be the nanny. They sound good to me so far, esp the part about not having plasticy chemicals against my baby. And that crinkly sound plastic diapers make when babies move - do cloth ones make any noise at all?
post #52 of 163
jessitron ... you should drop by the diapering forum (at your own risk LOL) ... the mamas there can answer all your questions.
post #53 of 163
Jessi- yes CD stands for Cloth diapering. I CD'd my first fulltime until I went back to work. I still CD at home, but they won't do cloth diapers at the daycare.

I second the the Diapering formum...The diapering forum is fun. Some of the girls get really fancy with their diapering systems. Really beautiful diapers too. I'm a pretty simple gal, so currently I just use fuzzibunz...also this is the only system my dh will use at all. When dd was little we used plain old prefolds and covers. Really easy to wash and probably one of the cheapest ways to go.
post #54 of 163
Jessie, what's your name at Baby Center? (I'm "NJMamma")

I used cloth with #3 and will with this baby too. It really is easy. Dh doesn't like the idea of cloth, but then, he doesn't change diapers so it's not his call. (Plus, all I need to do is remind him of all the $$ we're saving and that closes the discussion.)
post #55 of 163
Thread Starter 
Between cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and home birth, crunchy babies are certainly cheaper babies! Okay, the food I eat now and the spiffy herbal vitamins are more expensive. Lots cheaper than a sickly infant, though.

I'm WittyTCC on BabyCenter and Witty on fertility friend. It's funny how I used to be shy on those boards, but now, at 3 months pregnant, I know more about this than lots of those women. I've read more than "What to Expect" and listened to more than the 2 sentences of advice from the ob/gyn. Now I have to refrain myself from yelling at them for choosing to induce for nonmedical reasons, C-section, etc.

Here's a question: what do each of you do to promote home birth as an option to other women?
post #56 of 163
Originally Posted by jessitron
Here's a question: what do each of you do to promote home birth as an option to other women?
I talk about it all the time.

Really, I make a point of saying how relaxing it was to labor at home, how wonderful it was to not have strangers walking in while I was laboring/delivering, how my kids were present, how nice it was to be in familiar surroundings, how well my midwife knows me and how much I trust her, etc. etc.

I'm just about to go post on my first prenatal appt. I'll be sure to mention the 1 1/2 hours that I spent talking with my midwife--about the birth, but also about how my other kids are feeling about the pregnancy, and the time we spent catching up on what's happened in our lives since our last baby.

I'm also always trying to make the point that at home, YOU get to decide how you want to birth.

I'm sure they're completely sick of me by now.
post #57 of 163
Well, this is my first, so really, I'm just presenting Homebirth as a safe valid option. My mom was super impressed with the stat's, and with the fact that i'm spending a good hour per appt with my midwife. We haven't bitten the bullet yet and told MIL. She's NOT gonna like it. Actually, what she's not going to like is that not only is she not invited, but we're pretty much planning on no guests for at least 24hrs after the birth... we want to get to know our baby first thanks.

so did i tell ya'll the midwife thinks my due date is Feb 4? That means i'm full term, for a homebirth in Colorado, 37wks, at *gasp* Jan 8. It also means that Friday I'm *4* months pregnant. can we say HOLEY COW???? This whole pregnant thing is still so surreal. I mean I am not really showing, yeah i'm a bit pudgy, but no cute belly, and wearing the same jeans i was in May.... I'm not having any real symptoms, just weird spinal alignment issues and ligament stretchy stuff... Just really surreal to me.
post #58 of 163
wtchyhlr, I am 16 weeks and a few days and it is also surreal to me. I will be excited to feel the baby move. This week I feel a bit different- i am getting bigger for sure and I am excited. I think I statred wearing maternity clothes just so I can be aware/reminded I am actualy pregnant! I feel like I need to be doing more visualization- baby can hear this week now, and i don't want t oneglect the child within! I also bought a few baby items, and someone donate da crib that is still in the middle of our living room, so all that makes it seem a bit more real.
post #59 of 163
Thread Starter 
Heidi, that's funny about the crib in the living room. We have a basinett in our living room now, brought by my aunt. It does make it seem more real.

I've been showing and wearing maternity for weeks now. I'm jealous of bigger bellies, but happy that I'm showing this early. Babies babies babies!

Chiropractor was interesting this morning. He asked lots of questions, checked reflexes, and checked lots of muscles. I love it when doctors seem really interested in overall health. I go back on Friday for the Report of Findings. His wife and secretary is a homebirth advocate and Bradley teacher, so that office is full of useful information. It's also a mile from home, yay.

One thing he said was particularly interesting. He talked about how light pressure on spinal nerves decreased signal strength from the brain to the body significantly in animals. I said, "Another reason not to get an epidural." He replied in this horrified voice, "Why would you even think about getting an epidural?" I'm not, of course, which reassured him. He then mentioned that epidurals can leave skin cells in the spinal fluid which may later develop into cancer. Yuck. Amazing what risks most women take, just to get out of a few hours of intense work.

Last night we had a meeting of Friends of Missouri Midwives. We talked about various ways of educating the community about home birth. One strategy discussed was speaking to Women's Studies classes at local colleges. This sounds like a great idea to me. Did any of you take a class like that? If so, did you discuss birth, or would it have been an appropriate topic?
post #60 of 163
Hi, I love chiropractic, and have been getting terrible headaches and adjustments work wonders. Plus there are some studies that a well adjusted woman will labor for a shorter time!

People I know, not strangers, are noticing I am pregnant. That's cool.

And jessitron, I am so glad you are having a homebirth near St. Louis. my whole maternal side of the family lives there and i know the laws are crummy. My cousins will be having babies soon and they need homebirth midwives!

And yes, Women's Studies classes are a great place to talk about birth choices. I became a midwife after studying birth in A Women's Health class. We used Our Bodies Ourselves as a Text book, it has a nice chapter on birth. And we had a nurse midiwfe speak to the class and show a video. It got me doing research on my own and I eventually became a midwife. I have had clients that took that same class at the same school. Around here we also talk to high schoolers, to plant seeds before the time is here.

And Jessitron, you asked a while back when i got married. We married Feb 2003, on the three anniversary of when we met.
We will be together five years when baby comes.

And about my husband's birth and his reflections- there is a great out of print book by Sondra Ray about "Birth and Relationships", about how your birth affects life. My husband was born fast, in a painless birth (according to his mom) with a midwife in Sweden (he is swedish) and was never circ'ed (they just don't ever do it there). I feel there are a layers of damage he never sustained- he came into the world thinking it was a friendly place. I had a great birth, I was induced with castor oil, came real fast and was in good shape when born and caught everyone by surprise. I have some thoughts about how those stories relate to how each of us are as a person, but I gotta eat so I'll maybe explain some other time! It's a fun question to ask yourself and your mom, how was your own birth? and how does it reflect yuo you are today? It was afterall, your first and biggest expereince of birth, a nice thing to ponder before giving birth yourself!

Love Heidi
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