how to encourage smoking mothers to BF?

[KellyK]

A co-worker of mine is due in a few days and I am wondering how to encourage her to BF or not as she is a smoker. She has already told me she intends to FF as she will be back at work in 6 weeks anyway. I work with her and have a Medela Classic that I keep in one of the offices at work. Since it is a "sealed" pump, it would be the easiest thing for her to share, which rules out the "I wouldn't be able to pump at work" argument.

Ok, I went to kellymom.com (duh) and it strongly suggests that smoking moms should BF to help counteract the problems smoking causes.

Are any of you smoking moms and what kind of support would have made BF'ing easier for you? (please no flaming people)

[guerrillamama]

i think all the usual bf'ing support. since you pump at work you know the deal!
the only thing i can think of re: smoking is the immune system, but kellymom hooked you up on that info.
also, those bf'ing hormones really are nice. i miss smoking, i think about it every single day, but those bf'ing highs were really nice. (i dont' seem to get them anymore but for the first couple months i was definitely feeling it.) that might even help her cut down?

[KellyK]

" i miss smoking, i think about it every single day," OMG me too!
I quit as soon as we got pregnant, lovely DH quitting with me made it much easier, but somedays..... ah well, so much money saved and healthier to boot! I am so proud of myself and everyone I know who has quit smoking! Yea! for us!

Unfortunately my CW just can't/won't do it. She ended up on bedrest for the last 4 months because of it (the baby is doing ok though, according to US) and I gave up trying to help her quit, now I just want to help her BF. Thanks, I'll mention that to her, it would be great if it did!

[Mrstattedup]

My encouragement was my baby growing inside of me!
I quit the day I found out I was pregant.. 3 yrs ago on July 21st 2001! I didn't want to..but had to!!
I do miss it..(don't know why) that stuff stinks ..I think about a smoke occassionally but can't get the guts enough to do it! I love my kids too much to cause them any harm!
IMO..anyone who doesn't quit while pregnant or when TTC is just plain selfish..if that's not reason enought to quit..I don't know what is?!!
Don't want to cause any conflicts..that's just the way I feel!

[guerrillamama]

Originally Posted by Mrstattedup

if that's not reason enought to quit..I don't know what is?!!
Don't want to cause any conflicts..that's just the way I feel!

well, i basically agree, but clearly this woman is not quitting, so kelly is very wise to try and look for ways to work w/ her where she's at.

[darsmama]

Encourage and support!

I think you could encourage her to breastfeed even though she smokes by just presenting her with some information on all the benefits on even six weeks of breastfeeding. Six weeks is better then none, right?
BTW, I think it is great you are supporting this mama. Smokers are still human, and should be treated as such. Also, I kind of tend to believe that people smoke for a lot of different reasons and sometimes its really unknown to that person. So, its great you are supporting her to try and be healthier for that baby instead of just acting like shes scum of the earth. It makes a difference, trust me.

Peace and love,
Katie

[Changed]

[guerrillamama]

nobody said anything about smoking AROUND the child. just cuz she smokes doesn't mean she will do it inside or anywhere near the baby. of course contaminated breastmilk is much worse than uncontaminated breastmilk, but it is still much better than formula! she is not going to quit because people tell her she's selfish. i guarantee you she's heard it before. i don't know the woman, i don't know why (in addition to selfishness) she hasn't quit, but i do know lectures, threats, and guilt trips have about a zero percent success rate in motivating ME to do anything difficult. and it is unbelievably difficult. i'm not defending her, i'm just saying, i think kelly is taking a very realistic approach w/ this woman.

[Changed]

[katja]

Has your co-worker tried the patch? I know it hasn't really been studied in bfing women, but it has to be better than smoking. Fewer chemicals, lower nicotine levels, less ups and downs, better for mother's lungs and air...It really helped me in some rough spots when I slipped. It is also hard to be a good mother when you are smoking ("Please, please take a nap so I can go out and smoke a cigarette") It is very distracting. Addictions always come first. I feel for your friend and hope she ends up bfing. Luck to all!

[darsmama]

Hmm never thought about it that way. I thought breastmilk no matter what was better then none. So is breastfeeding while smoking is worse then formula? Must research.
Now, I'm confused.

[KellyK]

Thanks all for responding! Thanks also for supporting me trying to support her! I love Mothering, we are all such nice people!


According to kellymom.com and some other sites, the benifits of BF'ing outweigh the cons of contaminated milk, because in a lot of ways they conteract each other. IE. smoking mom=more ear infection BF= less ear infection

Please no more flaming people for their decisions. IMO it was an unplanned pregnancy, she didn't even want to continue it and I am glad that if she continued to smoke through the pregnancy at least she had a pregnancy to continue smoking through!


KatienDwyane: I think that telling her the ben's of at least bf'ing the first six weeks is a great idea, that way it's not like I am trying to pressure her into changing her plans for the next year of her life, its just 6 little weeks to help the baby. Then once she realizes how much easier it is to calm a baby the minute it starts crying instead of waiting for the bottle to warm up etc. etc. etc. hopefully she will be hooked on BF'ing. ( the money saved from BF'ing = more money for smokes was one of my ideas for a pro BF'ing argument! Ha! the irony is there but also so true!)

[Victorian]

The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers by Dr. Jack Newman

"if you cannot stop smoking, then you are better to smoke and breastfeed than smoke and not breastfeed. All the publicity about exposure to nicotine, about carciniogenic compounds that the baby receives, does not diminish the risks of not breastfeeding. Not breastfeeding also increases the risks of the baby for certian cancers. Respiratory illnesses are more common in breastfeeding babies whose mothers smoke than in breastfeeding babies whose mothers do not smoke, but they are less common and less severe than respiratory illnesses in articicially fed babies whose mothers smoke......breastfeeding decreases the risk of sudden infant death somewhat."

And in response to the "breastfeeding at all costs" comments: formula is not a benign choice. And breastfeeding is almost always the safer choice.

I had a lovely client that was on several hard drugs when she became pregnant. She gave them all up by smoking. She had a tiny little baby (less than 6 lbs, full term). She breastfeed that baby for over a year. Smoking the whole time. I was proud of her for giving up the drugs and dedicating her life to making her daughter proud, not judgemental about it. Several of the teen clients I have had smoked. It really was the least of their problems. Try telling a mother that was kicked out by her mother and is currently fighting the system for basic healthcare that she sould quit smoking. I would rather have women smoke and give their babies a better start by breastfeeding (not to mention the benefits with bonding) than the oposite.

FTR, I smoked for many years, quit to get pregnant, smoked for a little bit postpartum, and then quit altogether. Although it was relatively easy for me, I have seen people struggle for years to break the addition. Never judge.

Back to the subject, I would just present her with the information as a "look what I just learned". Offer to give her an appointment with a IBCLC as a gift. Tell her the benefits of colostrum and see if she is willing to go for 2 weeks. Give her my email address .

Victorian

[PurpleBasil]

Would it make a difference to your friend to refer to famous people who smoke and breastfeed? There are quite a few.

Uma Thurman is a big smoker and breastfeeds. I rarely see photos of her (not red carpet photos, mind you) without her smokes. Kate Hudson smokes and breastfeeds (the smoking helps her post partum weight loss).

I imagine Jennifer Aniston will smoke and breastfeed...Brad Pitt has picked up smoking again so there will be smoke around the baby, quite possibly.

[Changed]

I think that encourages it too much. Yes she smokes and will likely not quit. If smoking is not changing then yes, it would be better to breastfeed than FF. BUT, being a celebrity doesn't make your actions right and I don't think anyone want to present it as a cool thing to do.

[Jennifer Z]

Obviously the ideal is a non-smoking, healthy eating pregnant and nursing mom. I think it is great that OP is willing to meet her where she is, not where she wants her to be.

I think the fact she is thinking about not breastfeeding because she is a smoker tells you that she knows smoking is not the ideal. If showing her that celebreties still breastfeed despite smoking, it will at least encourage her to take that step. It is entirely likely that she will cut down on her cigarettes once the babe is here, but she isn't as likely to think that now...for a lot of women the baby isn't entierly "real" until it is in you arms. People change a LOT once a baby is born.

[JillyKay]

I would lke to "second" the idea about telling her much easier it is to BF than to bottle feed. Explain how easy it is to just pop a boob in their mouth in the middle of the night than to get up and make a bottle.
Also, emphasize that the HEALTHY thing for the baby is to BF - smoking or not.

[Evergreen]

I just wanted to add that even the conservative, maistreamWhat to Expect... book says that it is better for a smoker to breastfeed than to formula feed. Mybe you could get her the book and highlight that section.

[KellyK]

Thanks so much to everyone for posting. I really like the celebrity thing, its just great that they BF esp. because they smoke. Unfortunately, I think I have hit a stopping point with her. Some people just blow me away mentally. The following is a summary of events over a few days.

Her: The lady at the CDC said that BF'ing is a huge pain because when they run out of milk they have to call the mother in to feed the baby, so I don't want to BF.

Me: you could supplement, some BM is better than none.

Her: Well (insert name I have forgotten here) told me that you don't even have to heat the bottle, if you give them room temp. formula from the start, so it is really convienient!

Me: (thinking*if you are going to ff for convienience at least give the kid a warm meal!)I talked about the benefits of BF for the kid etc. Saving money, everything..,.

Her: that sounds good, but Brad (her hus) and I have already decided on formula. It worked fine for me once my mom found the Soy kind because of my projectile vomiting.

Me: ( ) OK, then.. if you change your mind just call me and I'll help you anytime!

I was just so incredoulus about the things she said, I just gave up and walked away... (I think maybe she has some control issues, IE. her mother and husband are pro formula so she doesn't even want to try to think about BF) Maybe in the future I will be able to use all this good advice for someone else. I give up!

(Side note: Thanks to the flaming earlier in the thread (you know who you are) I got several pm's from very good moms who had very good advice but were not willing to deal with publicly posting. That makes me sad. Shame on you.)

[MamaSoleil]

Originally Posted by KatienDwayne

I think you could encourage her to breastfeed even though she smokes by just presenting her with some information on all the benefits on even six weeks of breastfeeding. Six weeks is better then none, right?
BTW, I think it is great you are supporting this mama. Smokers are still human, and should be treated as such. Also, I kind of tend to believe that people smoke for a lot of different reasons and sometimes its really unknown to that person. So, its great you are supporting her to try and be healthier for that baby instead of just acting like shes scum of the earth. It makes a difference, trust me.

Peace and love,
Katie

FWIW, I loved your post.
(((Kelly)))) I can understand how frustrated you are! You still have time though, and you can casually keep slipping in the pros of bfing,and maybe even make photocopies of pertinent articles and drop them on her desk.

Mamasoleil aka Samsoleil