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sanity preservation

post #1 of 7
12/10/01 at 6:06pm
Thread Starter 
How do long-term hs parents keep sane? I adore being with my children, and am now doing hs kindergarten with dd, but I have to be honest - by 5pm I am ready to scream, even on good days. I find that I really need time with my own thoughts without the chattering of little angels crowding them out. DH is only of very limited assistance, and I have hired a high school girl to come on 1-2 afternooons to give me a break, but I need daily relief (it would be too expensive to hire a babysitter M-F).

I worry that I'm not really cut out for homeschooling, even though I feel very strongly about it. I feel as though I could do it if I just had that daily time, but I'm not getting it.

Has anyone else had this sort of problem? What do you do?
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post #2 of 7
12/10/01 at 7:16pm
post #3 of 7
12/10/01 at 7:33pm
Thread Starter 
sleep is definately an issue - I have a 5yo and a 4mo -- if I am to get any sleep, I have to go to bed when the 4mo does, because her best sleep is the first part of the night - after the first 4-6 hours, she wakes every 1-2. The 5yo, on the other hand, requires approximately the same amount of sleep that I do!!

I assume this will get better as the baby starts sleeping longer, but that could be a really long time....

in the meanwhile???
post #4 of 7
12/11/01 at 11:43pm
I can really relate!!! I also have a kindergarten aged child, and also have a 2.5 yo and an 8 month old. I was just arguing with my dh the other day about how I need time ALONE just to veg with myself. Yikes. He doesn't really understand that, unfortunately, and thinks I'm being selfish : Well, he's really a great guy, but sometimes...

I don't have a lot of suggestions, but just wanted to let you know I feel the same way!
post #5 of 7
12/17/01 at 4:02pm
Could you be putting pressure on yourself about homeschooling? If a parent is trying to control the learning process, instead of letting it unfold, the whole idea of homeschooling on top of having the kids around 24/7 might be overwhelming. Doing fun things together, things that you are all interested in and that a parent can handle with the very real demands of a small baby, is plenty to accomplish in a day, imo. I was in about this same position, and then moved and had no help other than spouse who was working much of the time. I quickly came to the conclusion that to try and force any sort of school time that a child did not want was totally counterproductive and certainly not how I wanted to spend my time! I cut to the basics, when things get overwhelming. I have faith that the children will learn what they need to learn when they need/want to learn it, so I don't stress out (usually) about the homeschooling part of life. Food and attention and love are mostly what we all need on a daily basis, and if that is all we get done, I count it a good day.

Sanity? What exactly is that?
post #6 of 7
12/17/01 at 4:07pm
Oh, yes, and getting some time daily. That does come along when the kids get older, but even when they are young a parent can take little breaks throughout the day, as they present themselves, to stretch and empty the mind, to nap (a real priority when up at night with babies), to step outside and drink in the elements. And when another trusted advisor/parent is available that children love to spend time with, to take whatever time it gives- an hour or a day- to do whatever, can help fill up the need. I definately did not get enough of this when my kids were little, and it was hard but not impossible, especially once I started re-evaluating my expectations and beliefs about what it is necessary to accomplish in a day and what children are really like and really need from a parent. Create your own wonderful days.
post #7 of 7
12/22/01 at 10:16am
I think it's also a 2nd-child issue...I felt that way when dd#2 was a few months old, and we weren't homeschooling at the time (#1 was 4). Now that everyone's older I feel a bit that way due to the homeschooling, particularly as we're hitting the 2yo and 6yo separation/indepence/dependence stage concurrently (I now have 2 drama queens here, and some days I REALLY would like to ship at least 1 of us out SOMEWHERE, be it sending the 6yo to school or me to Hawaii).

So, anyway, sounds like you're getting a double-whammy of 2nd child adjustment with beginning-homeschool adjustment, plus (if you celebrate Christmas) holiday weirdness on top. It gets better, honest!