sorry in advance, this post might not make much sense...
my ds is only 8 mo old, but i am fascinated by the idea of GD and all your diverse perspectives and i have been learning so much lurking around here.
one thing that is very important to me is that i want my ds to value community, communalism, interconnectivity, etc very highly. i want him to be someone who always thinks about how his actions will impact others. i want him to assume that he will be accountable for his actions. i want him to approach problems from a consensus-oriented p.o.v. i want him to be polite and respectful - not out of fear, but because it feels good and is the right thing to do.
[and a brief explanation of where i'm coming from with this:
1- it is my personal belief that one of the biggest problems w/ western/american culture is our individualism, and i could say a lot more about that but i will leave it there for now.
2 -i also am probably much more concerned about this w/ a son than i would be w/ a daughter, b/c i believe that girls in our culture are more socialized to have these values whereas boys in general are more socialized towards individualism, and i feel a need to counteract that.
3 - my mom was and is a wonderful parent in many ways, but one thing i regret is that she didn't really teach us manners. like how to speak respectfully to your elders, or not to put your elbows on the table, all kinds of things like that. i learned those things as an adult, and i find that i *like* having good manners. i find that there are lots of benefits. and i believe that elders desreve extra respect.]
so, what's my question... it just seems that sometimes GD is at odds w/ this. i am confused about how to do GD in a way that emphasizes the community not the individual, does that make sense? since i'm having trouble formulating this question, maybe i'll just see what your thoughts are on that, and go from there....
my ds is only 8 mo old, but i am fascinated by the idea of GD and all your diverse perspectives and i have been learning so much lurking around here.
one thing that is very important to me is that i want my ds to value community, communalism, interconnectivity, etc very highly. i want him to be someone who always thinks about how his actions will impact others. i want him to assume that he will be accountable for his actions. i want him to approach problems from a consensus-oriented p.o.v. i want him to be polite and respectful - not out of fear, but because it feels good and is the right thing to do.
[and a brief explanation of where i'm coming from with this:
1- it is my personal belief that one of the biggest problems w/ western/american culture is our individualism, and i could say a lot more about that but i will leave it there for now.
2 -i also am probably much more concerned about this w/ a son than i would be w/ a daughter, b/c i believe that girls in our culture are more socialized to have these values whereas boys in general are more socialized towards individualism, and i feel a need to counteract that.
3 - my mom was and is a wonderful parent in many ways, but one thing i regret is that she didn't really teach us manners. like how to speak respectfully to your elders, or not to put your elbows on the table, all kinds of things like that. i learned those things as an adult, and i find that i *like* having good manners. i find that there are lots of benefits. and i believe that elders desreve extra respect.]
so, what's my question... it just seems that sometimes GD is at odds w/ this. i am confused about how to do GD in a way that emphasizes the community not the individual, does that make sense? since i'm having trouble formulating this question, maybe i'll just see what your thoughts are on that, and go from there....
