Seems like several different issues are being discussed here.
1) Anti-materialism. You want less gifts from extended family? The idea of gift certs for lessons or family memberships to parks or museums seems great! Also a gift cert to a bookstore or crafts store might work, if y'all like books and CDs, or crafting. Yule is about presents, I happen to like giving and getting them, but we don't go overboard, and live hundreds of miles away from extended family, and don't visit them at this time. I think it is a good thing to give away old toys to charity and get new stuff, if Grandma insisits. They get to show their love, and the poor get stuff too.
2) Coming out of the closet with pagan leanings. For christians to consider, Jesus' birth was assigned Dec 25 as a nod to other gods of ancient times who were also associated with the winter solstice. The Roman Satunalia and the gods Mithras and Osiris were all celebrated on or near that day. So Jesus is the reason for the season, while a catchy saying, is actually the reverse.
3) Songs to sing. There are many carols not specifically religious in tone. Jingle Bells, Over the River and Thru the Woods, White Xmas (it mentions xmas, but not Jesus' birth specifically, it seems more concerned with good will and the beauty of nature), "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," any Santa song (think of him as the Holly King, with all his horned god representatives), Rudolph, Home for the Holidays, Blue Xmas by Elvis, All I want for Xmas is my 2 Front Teeth, the Chipmunks' cute versions of songs, I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Holly Jolly Xmas, Walking in a Winter Wonderland, Here We Come A-wassailing, etc. If you just like the Little Drummer Boy and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, as I do, and want to sing them, the Goddess will understand, I bet! Why do you think there were goats and cattle in the barn, where Jesus was born? Horned gods! (LOL, just my opinion, of course!)
I think we humans, at that time of year, all have a craving for lights, candles, fires, hearty food, trees, wreaths, snowpeople, special clothes, songs, and gatherings with family and friends, including gift exchanges, as we can afford it. It is the darkest day of the year, and we want to say, bah, we will survive! Whichever god we assign to the holiday is up to us.
I will amend the above by saying the Jewish people's tradition, while also concerned with miraculous lights, were a desert people, in a warm climate, so didn't have the same emphasis as northerners did, on evergreen trees, for example.
Blessed be! Daryl