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WHAT in the H-E-double hockey sticks?!?!

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
During the summer at my dd's pre-school/daycare they watch movies, a movie, on Tuesdays. I'm not thrilled about it. I mean, maybe if its raining, but I think it rather sucks if its a beautiful day. They have a different activity that is physical and outdoors the other 4 days (like swimming and tennis) so I let it go (pick and choose my battles or I'd drive myself mad). However, I did request (or demand) that they put a list of movies together before hand and gove all of the parents the opportunity to approve or disapprove of any movies on the list. I think I only objected to one movie and was okay with the others.

So today I dropped dd off about an hour late (took a long morning with her; I have a somewhat flexible schedule).

So I walked in the door and they had just turned on a movie. It was SPIDERMAN! For 2-5 year olds!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently one of the kids brought it in yesterday and asked if they could watch it today. So my jaw was dropped. One of the teachers said "I thought Shonah wasn't coming since you weren't here yet (even though I called and told the receptionist type person). Is it okay if she watches Spiderman." I replied "Oh my god, no!" She said it was no problem, that they'd put in one of the movies from the list. So they stop the movie and I asked the teacher if the other parents knew that the kids were watching Spiderman. She said that they asked every parent as they dropped their kid off and that EVERY SINGLE PARENT said it was okay.

What the hell is wrong with people? The movie is rated PG-13!!!! These are 2-5 year olds. Why does ANYONE, teachers or parents, think this is appropriate??? Why does a 5 year old OWN HIS OWN COPY OF THIS MOVIE!?

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people! Nice to know my dd is going to school full of kids that 100% of their parents are A-OKAY with them watching violent action movies.

I am really upset about this. I really, really hate this.

I'm a single mom. I work full-time and I cannot afford Waldorf or Montessori (don't get me started on how much it bothers me and all of the reasons it bothers me that those types of schools are so inaccessibly expensive). I HATE that my dd is in this subpar mainstream system. Its really breaking my heart.

post #2 of 22
Spiderman is NOT okay in our book either! I know our school will run a movie, but if it isn't G or Educational, it does not get played. Though I did have a fit when they showed a teletubbies video.

Unfortunately, I do know parents IRL who wouldn't have a problem with this.

I am glad you raised a stink.
post #3 of 22
Oh my god, that is unbelievable!!! As far as the other parents go- what can I say- some parents are OK with that- but there is NO EXCUSE for the teachers thinking that was OK! I would not have dreamed of showing a PG-13 movie to my fourth graders when I was teacher, never mind TWO to FIVE YEAR OLDS!!! I would definitely call the director or head teacher and voice your serious displeasure. This isn't just about the movie- this is about a SERIOUS lack of judgement on the part of the teacher. Do they know how to take care of pre-schoolers, or not??

to you and your daughter
post #4 of 22
Mama- you are SO right about this. I can't believe that these parents think that Spiderman is okay for young kids. : : : I feel the same way about Harry Potter movies, and others that are PG-13 and many that are PG!!!!

Nothing but support here!!!
post #5 of 22
man, in the last few months I have seen I, Robot, Spiderman 2, Open Waters, The Village, and other R/PG13 movies that should really be R. I see them at 10 pm, and each and every time there are parents there with 3 and 4 year old kids. At 10 pm. watching violent, scary movies. I just don't understand it at all.
post #6 of 22
ITA. That would really bother me too. My son is 4 and thought Elmo in Grouchland was too scary. I can't imagine if he watched Spiderman (although, he did pick out spiderman underwear and claims that spiderman is not scary because he "swings and goes 'weeeee!'").
post #7 of 22
I would have been furious!

And yet, I can almost top that. A few weeks ago at the 4th birthday party of a neighbor boy (Spiderman theme) the parents were talking about how much more intense the new movie is than the first one. The mother of the birthday boy was explaining that she had read it was much scarier and more intense long before it came out, so since she knew her son would really want to see it she set about an intentional program to desensitize him to that kind of thing so he could enjoy the movie. Great, huh? I guess she has forgotten how to pronounce "no."
post #8 of 22
My daughter's girl scout troop had an all night sleep over thing where they watched the Lord of the ring movies. I too was the only parent that seemed to take issue with this,a nd I pulled her out of the troop. Oh and the "badge" they were earning? Learning about different areas of the world. :

I so totally feel your pain.
post #9 of 22
Quote:
My daughter's girl scout troop had an all night sleep over thing where they watched the Lord of the ring movies. I too was the only parent that seemed to take issue with this,a nd I pulled her out of the troop. Oh and the "badge" they were earning? Learning about different areas of the world
Quote:
so since she knew her son would really want to see it she set about an intentional program to desensitize him to that kind of thing so he could enjoy the movie.
what??? :
post #10 of 22
Hmm... I guess I'm the odd momma out. My boys and I watch movies all the time... well, not ALL the time... but a couple times a week. We watch the special features, the making of the movies... I routinely pause the movies and we comment on the costumes and make-up, how the scenes are made to look so real because they 'draw' them on the computer like mommy uses, ect. So, he watches both Spiderman and Lord of the Rings. He knows that both are not real, it is really people dressing up and pretending like we do sometimes. I guess I, too, am 'desensetizing' my son.

However, we would never watch a 'scary' movie, like the Ring (that movie still scares me) or any of the Elm Street films.
post #11 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by kama'aina mama
so since she knew her son would really want to see it she set about an intentional program to desensitize him to that kind of thing so he could enjoy the movie.

Is that woman INSANE? Junk like that makes me so mad... I wonder how she'll feel about it after her son watches more of these violent adult movies ('cause he's already desensitized you know) and imitates them. What's she going to do when he curses at his Kindergarten teacher or punches other kids.
post #12 of 22
IMO, that is not right. It's one thing for parents to show pg-13 movies to their preteens or R-rated movies to their minors. It's another thing for a daycare or any kind of similar institution to allow children to watch it. In fact, I thought it was illegal unless every single parent signed a waiver.
post #13 of 22
I think the teacher lied to you. I do not for a minute believe that every parent said, "Yes." to Spiderman. Either that or they felt intimidated into saying yes because it was sprung on them at the last minute (you are racing off to work, what are you supposed to do?).

DS went to a pretty mainstream preschool/daycare in our very non-crunchy working class community. I've met a lot of these parents outside of school and I can say for sure that most of them would NOT have been okay with that.

I would poll the parents!
post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPJJJ
Hmm... I guess I'm the odd momma out. My boys and I watch movies all the time... well, not ALL the time... but a couple times a week. We watch the special features, the making of the movies... I routinely pause the movies and we comment on the costumes and make-up, how the scenes are made to look so real because they 'draw' them on the computer like mommy uses, ect. So, he watches both Spiderman and Lord of the Rings. He knows that both are not real, it is really people dressing up and pretending like we do sometimes. I guess I, too, am 'desensetizing' my son.

However, we would never watch a 'scary' movie, like the Ring (that movie still scares me) or any of the Elm Street films.

I am right there with you.

I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one. Add me to the list of parents that has something wrong with them. :LOL My kids love Spiderman, Lord of the Rings Shrek and many more movie that would make you shutter. We like Hary Potter. Even my 3 year old.

Quote:
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people!
hum...

I deleted what I was going to say. Not worth the fight when I am in this kind of mood.
post #15 of 22
well, kids love chocolate cake for breakfast everyday too. Not trying to be harsh, but I do think we need to protect our kids from so much violence in movies, esp. really young kids. I do let dd watch the Harry Potter movies cause she has been obsessed with HP since before she was 2, and they are not really violent, and there's no inappropriate sexual content.
post #16 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherE
My daughter's girl scout troop had an all night sleep over thing where they watched the Lord of the ring movies. I too was the only parent that seemed to take issue with this,a nd I pulled her out of the troop. Oh and the "badge" they were earning? Learning about different areas of the world. :

I so totally feel your pain.
Which part of the world would that be? MORDOR???

FWIW, we watched LOTR here too, but I think violence is inappropriate for kids, so whenever there was some, we a)fast-forwarded, b) covered her eyes, or c) turned her around. There's so much about those films that is wonderful, but the violence we could do without.
post #17 of 22
I think there is a difference between what you show in your home and what kids are shown at preschool. At home you can control the pace, you can turn it off if your child is upset, you can talk about your values if they don't match the film.. There are all sorts of options. At school, the film is going to run from beginning to end, regardless of your child's reaction. And there probably isn't going to much discussion of what they saw. And no friendly lap to sit in. And if you have a child who is easily frightened by films, they are going to get teased by some of the kids. So what you do at home is your business, but teachers/schools should be more careful.

I would definitely voice concern to director about the whole thing. Frankly, I also would be annoyed that the teacher promised something to a child but then didn't follow-through. She shouldn't have promised at all.
post #18 of 22
Thread Starter 
Okay, well, I was (and am) very upset when I posted. To each their own, but when a movie is rated PG-13 for violence (as Spiderman is) or for sexual content I don't see how that is ever appropriate for a 4 year old, but again to each their own. I mean if movies must be watched, whether at home, school or a troop meeting there are actually decent and AGE appropriate things to watch like the original Winnie the Pooh or a National Geographic on the rain forest or something... I just really don't get it, but then again a lot of people don't get me allowing my child to see any movies or TV at all... so we all have our own belief systems.. I realize that. But why expose kids to violence or sex so dang early? I mean what's wrong with saying "you can see that when you're older, how about we watch "Good Night Moon" instead? This is just an issue that is very important to me and is very easy to enforce. I mean, I just don't make any movies with sex or violence or other influences that are negatives for very young children accessible to my child. Its not like she's going to be culturally inept b/c she's never seen the LOTR.

Anyway, when I picked up dd the teacher started apologizing about the movie. I kept trying to explain to her that I wasn't looking for an apology but that there definitely needed to be some dialogue about why they even allowed a PG-13 movie to be brought into the school.. why it would even be considered as an option. She just kept apologizing.. she really did not seem to get it and seemed like she was looking at me like I was a little bit crazy. She reiterated that I was the only parent with an objection and I reiterated that I found that very disturbing, on many levels. We just kept going in circles, albeit polite and civil circles.

The director had left for the day. She's very familiar with me... not to much time goes by without me having something to say about something. It gets really exhausting. I feel like I have to constantly police them. I have sooooooooooooooo much on my plate and on top of it I have to worry that my dd's teachers don't have the level of judgement that would aid in them deciphering that PG-13 movies are inappropriate in a pre-school setting.

Thanks for allowing me to vent.
post #19 of 22
How would anyone think that it is ok to show Spiderman to young children??? This is a fight that I have with my IL's regularly. No comprende. They don't get it. Even when my ds tells them he doesn't want to watch Spiderman because it is scary. I guess they figure since they went out and bought it for the kids (was it really for the kids?!) that they haaaaave to watch it. Just the other day I walked into their living room to find ds and dd kicking the hell out of one another and Power Rangers was on. I told MIL that I don't let the kids watch Power Rangers because, um, duh, they're kicking the crap out of one another. I stopped it, talked to the kids about it and thought that it was clear. Apparently not, she turned the movie back on later. Sometimes I really cannot stand her.

Sorry about the rant, at least they asked you. Thank Goddess that you got there late enough to see what they were going to show and caught it. Doesn't it get tiresome always having to be on guard like that though? If only people could be more understanding and respectful of other's choices for their children.
post #20 of 22
I am still puzzled about this. A friend of mine who teaches high school in Vermont got called on the carpet for showing a clip from an R rated movie. The clip was fine, contained no borderline content at all. One of the kids either recognized it or she told them what movie the clip was from and the kid went to the principal. She didn't get in any trouble but was cautioned about it. How preschool teachers can think it's okay to show adult movies to small kids is simply beyond me.
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