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Funny/crazy things your partner said or did while you were giving birth? - Page 3

post #41 of 58
My ex-husband, while I was in labor with my first, told me "I know!" when I said it hurt... He swears my head spun around as I bellowed "YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!"

With Iris' homebirth, I had asked dh to remind me that the baby was coming when things got hard. So, we are dancing with the contractions after about 30 hours of labor, and I'm moaning, and he says "The baby will be here soon"... I shoot back "Define SOON!" He stumbled over his words for a moment, then said "Um, today?"
post #42 of 58
mine had to dodge teeth of death during one contraction. I missed him, but got his shirt and tore it. The nurse looked at him then looked at me then later told him she was impressed that he dodged!
post #43 of 58
lol i love this thread

We live an hour from the hospital (so homebirth was out of the quesion for us, the MW didnt want to deliver that far away ) anyway, I was in labor at home for 32 hours when my contrax were 6-7 mins apart, we went to the hospital.

As we are halfway there, DP starts saying "man i wish I had peed before we left...I can feel my heartbeat in my penis... oh i have to go so bad...." I was in transition at this point, and he actually asked, "would it please be ok if we stopped so i could pee? I have to go so bad!!" I looked at him and screamed "ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING ME!!! PISS YOUR F*ING PANTS!!!" he begged a little more, and finally i said ok he could stop, but he better HURRY!!! I guess it was good that we did stop b/c the worst contrax I had was while we were stopped there...I couldn't have handled it if we were moving at the time. He was in and out in less than a minute, and i made him wait til the contrax was over to start going again, LOL. (we arrived and i was at 7cm, gave birth 4 hours after arriving)
post #44 of 58
Oh, my dh definately relished being a speed demon on the way to the hospital with #1.

He is on the squeamish side, and had told me that he would be concentrating on my face during the birth. Well, I showed up pretty much ready to push but I'm they quiet type and wasn't making any noise or showing discomfort, so they were pretty surprised when the nurse finally checked me and could feel the head. They didn't have everyone they needed right there and they had to ask dh to hold up one of my legs while I pushed. I was worried the whole time that he was going to faint, but he handled it quite well. He had no idea what a newborn looked like -- he hadn't seen a video or any pics of a birth before. He was freaked out when he saw ds being born -- he said the baby just kept going and going like a long slimy alien coming out of me.

With #2, we had a homebirth. My water didn't break until I was pushing, and I was desperate for it to break, I was figuring that labour was going more slowly because of it, so I was pushing like crazy trying to break it. I was lying on my side, dh was sitting on the bed facing my feet. When my water broke, it *really* broke -- it splashed all over dh, one of the midwives, and the wall at the head of the bed. I thought for sure he would lose it, but he didn't even leave to wipe himself off.

I was very loud when I was pushing out #2, and with #3, when I was ready to start pushing, dh closed the window in our room, telling the mw that he didn't want the neighbours calling the police.
post #45 of 58
Well I haven't had the baby yet, so no funny stories about DH to tell (although I'm sure there will be!)

So instead here is what happened when my mom had my youngest brother. He was 12lbs and she had been pushing for a looooong time. Anyway, my brother's head was/is HUGE. So huge that when he was a kid the city wouldn't allow him to play little league because there were no helmets big enough for him (not even adult helmets).

It was my dad's first time in the delivery room, he'd never seen a newborn or a birth video or anything. When my brother came out his head was a big cone. My dad freaked out and started yelling, "Oh my God! Holy sh*t! What's wrong with it!!" and wouldn't stop when the doctor said everything was fine. The nurse arranged for him to be escorted from the room by a couple of burly attendents.
post #46 of 58
My Dh took me to my 38 week check and when they realized my BP and protien were high they sent me over immediatly to have the baby. He dropped me off at L&D and while they started the induction he went home to get my bag. Beofre he got back to the hospital my mother flew in from 7 hours away and beat him back. When he returned I asked where te hell he had been..... he cleaned the house, washed dishes, got my bag, ate lunch and dropped off a movie and went inside to pay the late fee. I wanted to hurt him. Like that couldn't have waited? BTW, hwe dropped me off at 12:30, came back at nearly 4 and I had her at 6:21. He's not leaving this time.
post #47 of 58
I don't have any silly DH stories, but I do have a funny Grandma story. I was in labor at home with my first at her home and we had a dog that would bark all night if left outside. She wasn't allowed in for the birth so my Mom decided to go sleep outside on the hammock to keep her quiet and from annoying me and DH in labor.

My mom was terrified of my having the baby at home and joked about having 9-1- dialed in the phone so the last 1 would be fast to get help. Anyway, I progressed and it was time to get in the tub and push so my husband went out to wake her up. She freaked out half asleep and flipped the hammock over and landed flat on her face in the grass! : Oh, I wish I could have seen that!
post #48 of 58
With DD's birth center birth --

1) He kept a record of my contrax while we were at home before going to the BC. In Bradley, our mw said the list should have start time, end time, and "notes" out to the side. His notes included things like, "Watching Friends" (on TV). Uh, I'm pretty sure that's not the kind of notes she meant.

2) My close friend Janna came to the BC to video the birth. Her husband is DH's business partner, and he is black. At some point during a break between contrax, we were speculating about who the baby would look like and somebody made a joke to the effect of, "as long as she doesn't come out looking like Terry" (Janna's DH). When DD crowned, her hair appeared very dark and curly (it wasn't, but it looked like it). They told me that, and Janna (I think it was her; might have been me) said, "hey, she does look like Terry!" and we all laughed. It's pretty funny on the video.

With DS's homebirth --

1) Again, DH made his list of contrax, even though our MW said it wasn't necessary. His notes were quite funny. We had called MIL to come over. She has two new lab puppies, and she often brings them over here with her. I do not like dogs at all, so I don't let them in my house. Of course, this means they tear up my backyard. So, the dogs are a sore subject for me! Anyway, one of his notes says, "2:30 -- Mom arrives, sans dogs." Quite humorous.

2) When I was in the middle of transition, DH thought it would be a good time to tell me, "oh, did I tell you we sold another condo yesterday?" (he builds them). My response was an emphatic, "I DON'T CARE!" I mean, honestly, what was he thinking???
post #49 of 58
Everytime I stopped for a contraction DH would say in his nervous voice, "What's the matter?"
The matter is I'm having a baby!!!!!
post #50 of 58
This is awesome!

I don't think anything funny happened with our first... It was an induction and about 4 horus in my parents and Benjamin all had McD's in front of me and wouldn't share!! Then Ben and my dad took a nap. We have a pic of them side by side, heads back, and mouths open!

With Bryce, when he was born dh and I looked at each other and he said...Um, where is the NEW baby. This one looks just like TRacy! And boy did he ever! Ppl back home thought we were joking when we emailed pics back of Bryce. They all thought it was Tracy!

Also, with Bryce, the OR was very lively. My ob I found out was 65! She was awesome! She told us all about her trips to Africa. She runs an ob clinic there. She is going to retire in the US in 2005 and her plan is for her and her dp to spend the rest of their days in Africa delivering babies!
post #51 of 58
As an L&D nurse I have seen quite a few dh's wind up in the doghouse, so to speak. One mom told her dh when she was in transition that his breathing was bothering her. He said "what do you want me to do?" and she yelled "JUST STOP BREATHING!" We all cracked up, but I think she was serious.

Dh's that ignore mom and watch football (or baseball, or basketball) are excedingly common, believe it or not. Or they will pretend to be paying attention while trying to sneak peeks over their shoulder at the game.

One of the nastiest things I've ever had happen was a mom that threw up suddenly into the dad's 'supersize' soda cup. He was so taken aback that he wound up dumping it on her. Funny thing about this story is that 2 years later, same couple comes back in and I wind up being their nurse again. I didn't remember them at first, but it all came back to me quickly. I laughed and said, 'you know, after a while moms start to blend together, but mostly I remember you guys b/c WHAT a mess that was!' The mom started laughing hysterically and saying, "I TOLD YOU!" Seems that the dad has 'no recollection' of the event and had been denying it for 2 years running.
post #52 of 58
This isn't an L&D story but it happened yesterday...

DP and I were getting busy and I was definitely enjoying myself.... A lot... So, in the middle of a crescendo, I open my eyes to see that instead of watching me - he had stopped for a few seconds - he was watching the tv of all things!

That's it. My desire eroded fasted than a snowball in July in Canada. "But hunny, it was Robot Wars! The british one! With Lister! And Explosions!"

AUGH!

If I wasn't so close to being due, I would not have gotten so mad. But I am still mad at him. Like gez.. I'm not sexy anymore or something????
post #53 of 58
This thread is great! I actually read it from begining to end!

post #54 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamid
"But hunny, it was Robot Wars! The british one! With Lister! And Explosions!"
LOL! Dh and I are Red Dwarf fans, but not *that* fanatical about it.
post #55 of 58
WOW! Thats a HUGE head!
post #56 of 58
Robot Wars isn't Red Dwarf. The actor who plays Lister plays the announcer during the battles.

Just like Junkyard wars has Criton and the Laura Croft/Tombraider movies has Rimmer as her buttler.

The american Robot Wars doesn't have Lister as the announcer and just isn't as good. But come on... Can't he take 3 minutes out of his viewing pleasure and ... well... pleasure me?
post #57 of 58
My dh is wonderful, but when he's tired, he's *so* dopey. I let him take a nap toward the end of my 38 hr labor. But when I started getting a little urge to push, I got pretty pushy, and pretty much insisted he'd better get himself some coffee RIGHT NOW and WAKE UP. I don't think I was very nice about it, but it did help him wake up.

And *right* after ds2 came out (9 lb 4 oz VBAC, woo hoo), I was talking about the *next* baby. My ob said, "I don't think I've *ever* heard anyone talking about the next one so quickly!"
post #58 of 58
mine was cracking jokes during the entire labour.. we had a girl at 2:18am pst. I don't really remember what stupid things he said, but I know the midwife telling me not to push when I really really really had to push was _very_ stupid.

more later... maybe.

----------

here's the more... (from another thread)

Newest stupid comment....

we left a message on the machine telling FIaL that we had our girl this morning. He calls back and I let the machine take it... "We want to know how long (my name)'s going to be in the hospital."

This is the same man who threatened to show up here with 4 drinking buddies, a kegger and cigars for the five of them and DP when we told him we were having a homebirth...

Like DUH! :

Oh.. wait.. I got the stupid comment from DP...

he called up my father, got the machine, and then proceeded to use my mother's maiden name on it "Mr. M?..." So I yell "its G!!!" "Uh.. Mr. G.. this is E. we just had a girl...." I haven't used my mother's maiden name in years - its not my legal name and never was on my birth certificate except as her maiden name. Nevermind how she forced me to use it at school, this was my father and he also knows NOT to call him Mr. G but by either his real name or nickname.

Besides, dad's out hunting bear this weekend with his BIL.
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