UC Anyone? - Page 2

[danaalex]

[Sleepymama]

OK, I'm sorry I stated my opinion in such an inflammatory way, but please consider where I am coming from. I don't want ANY families to go through what we did, but mother nature has other ideas, and birth defects happen. And let me tell you, when it's you, all those statistics about how rare it is mean diddly squat.

Please, please, please, take an infant CPR class and consider having oxygen on hand. Please have an emergency plan and at least a friend there to call 911 for you. I'm serious. It CAN and DOES happen to low risk moms with NO history of birth defects.

And if any of you had experienced what I did--seeing your baby struggling for breath, then on a ventilator with an entire rack of IVs coming out of every limb, turning purple, and using every ounce of will to make that oxygen monitor go up, you would think that "cracked" was perhaps too generous.

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama

I consider us a fortunate group of women for knowing to inform ourselves and make the choices we feel best about. I may take that information and choose to UC while someone else may have that same info and feel strongly that they want a hospital birth.

Sorry for derailing your thread again! I just wanted to say that I was just thinking about this . . .when I know that someone has researched their birth options very thoroughly, I feel "relieved" (not that it's my business! ) at their choice, even if it's one I wouldn't make for myself. There's something very wonderful about an informed and empowered birth!

[FreeRangeMama]

Sleepymama, I really do appreciate your point of view. I cannot imagine the pain and fear you must have gone through with your ds. I just cannot live in a place of "what if's". Especially since I KNOW my ds1's health was compromised by my "safe" hospital birth. There is no predicting the outcomes of these things. What if I went to the hospital and had a child who had a rare serious reaction or infection FROM the hospital. What if I hired a midwife who made a rare fatal mistake. There just are no guarantees in birth or in life. I know you said what you did out of concern and that concern is truly appreciated, but I don't live out of fear of the millions of rare "what if" scenarios that could happen at any birth (even the low risk one's). If I did I probably wouldn't give birth at all. Instead I make the choices that *I* am comfortable with and that *I* feel are the safest for my family. I know you do not agree with them, but that is okay. I know that regardless of the outcome I will feel at peace with the fact that I have made the choices I have will all the facts at my disposal and I knew they were the right choices for me.

Thanks again for having such a great heart to put yourself out there out of concern. I appreciate the sentiment even if I disagree with your point of view

[FreeRangeMama]

Mizelenius,

I couldn't agree more!! I really believe in making informed decisions. We all have different beliefs about life, birth, and everything in between so of course we will all make different choices. If those choices are made out of knowledge and not fear they will empower us, otherwise we cheat ourselves and limit our ability to learn something new.

[JesseMomme]

And if any of you had experienced what I did--seeing your baby struggling for breath, then on a ventilator with an entire rack of IVs coming out of every limb, turning purple, and using every ounce of will to make that oxygen monitor go up, you would think that "cracked" was perhaps too generous.

I've experienced what you have Sleepymama (not because of a heart defect however). I'm lucky to have my son today. I still choose to UC. I know of the responsibility I have taken on.

(FWIW, the first thing I question when I hear of pre-e and eclampsia is how well the mother knew of maternal nutrition. Just my two cents)

[pamamidwife]

I'm a little - no ALOT - shocked at some of the responses on this thread. Wow. I'm really disappointed, too.

UC is not "forgoing any medical assistance". There are plenty UC mamas who listened to their intution and bodies and went to the hospital for medical assistance or called a supportive midwife.

What is so funny to me - and maybe a bit tragic - is the shocked responses here remind me of responses to those who post on REALLY mainstream sites about having a mw-attended homebirth. They're exactly the same type of responses. Just a different slant.

FWIW, I wholly and completely support UC. I have never learned more about birth and how to be a mw than from the women who UC. Never.

[Lula's Mom]

I'm glad you drew the parallel between the response to UC and midwife-assisted birth, Pam. That's just what I was thinking as I read this thread. On another site, announcing plans for a midwife-assisted homebirth might garner lots of shocked replies and "I could never do that!"s. I never expected a mention of UC here to be regarded as so out there! It's funny how normal and 'mainstream' a plain old homebirth seems to me now... I forget how strange and brave a lot of people think it is when they hear I had Lula at home with "just a midwife."

It's good to hear most people here say that they are supportive of the choice to UC even though they wouldn't choose it for themselves. But even then, it's clear that they don't really understand or know anything about it. I know there was a point where I had never even considered it; now, after all I've learned, I can't imagine having this baby any other way.

But maybe we spend a lot more time on the MDC homebirth board in general, and the UC threads in particular. Maybe some of the people on this thread haven't read a thing about UC in their lives (it sure sounds like it.) We have heard the experiences and been privileged to get the information that the UCers (and you! ) are willing to share so freely. So we get it. Well, it's there, for anyone who wants to avail themselves of it.

FWIW I had a midwife for my last pregnancy and birth, and I loved her. But I need a different experience this time, for a lot of reasons. Someone asked why a woman would not have a midwife "just in case". I would feel hindered, even by having a midwife in the other room. I know I'd ask for reassurance that everything was going all right if she were there, and what I really want is to listen to myself with every cell in my body. I want to trust myself; I want to let this experience unfold and be everything it can be for me. And I want to share it fully with my partner. Having a professional with us would break the sacred circle of our family.

DF and I have learned so much about the process of birth since deciding to UC. Probably much more than if we didn't "have" to because we were abdicating responsibility to a doctor or midwife. We know what's normal and what might be a problem. We have strategies to deal with complications that may come up. As a last resort, we'll dial 911. That's what I'd do in any true emergency, not just while birthing. That's what they're there for.

[pamamidwife]

So true, Kristi. I don't view my presence at a birth as being "just in case", but as a partnership with the parents to help empower them and provide them with information that I have. It's such a fine line - I expect my clients to be responsible for their choices, definitely.

What a compliment it is to my practice when clients feel empowered enough to go UC with their next birth. Isn't that, after all, the goal of having a midwife? Empowerment? Assuming responsibility for your birth?

I can completely understand the attraction of UC birth. Birth as an innate knowledge is not rocket science. I dont' hold some secret mysterious knowledge that is unattainable to the "common" person. I have some skills, sure, but I find that many times it's when we use these skills (especially interventions) or assume the power in birth as midwives that it facilitates further use of our skills. Does that make sense?

[littlebeagle]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
What does FWIW mean?? :LOL

[Lula's Mom]

For what it's worth... so probably not all that much.

[Lula's Mom]

It makes a lot of sense to me, Pam. I think it applies to what I said about having a midwife waiting in the other room. Her very presence would lead to interventions- I'd most likely ASK for them! If labor were long or especially difficult, I'd ask her to check me, all the while knowing that it makes little difference. I might listen to her suggestion that I try a certain position, even if my body was telling me to use another. And knowing myself, I'd feel like I was on the clock- the whole time she was sitting in my living room, I'd be thinking how I was taking her away from her family and other things she could be doing. :LOL It would make me feel very self-conscious, and I imagine my labor would not progress very well.

My labor was fast and went very well with Lula's birth. I really wanted my midwife's support. Part of that is because I didn't feel supported by my husband through the whole pregnancy. I had no trust in him or myself, as it was my first birth. This time I have an unbelievably supportive partner so that is not an issue.

What a compliment it is to my practice when clients feel empowered enough to go UC with their next birth. Isn't that, after all, the goal of having a midwife? Empowerment? Assuming responsibility for your birth?

That birth and that midwife did empower me and did prompt me to assume more responsibility. I think she would be proud of me for what I've learned and the way I feel today.

By the way, I wish you'd been around last week during this thread! I think your point of view would have been useful!

[k'smami]

Why Some Women Don't Want Midwives At Thier Births by Laura Shanley

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/whynotmidwives.htm

[k'smami]

I'm due in April or May (not sure of dates and I won't be finding out...)

I've had one UC (March 2003) and I look forward to the next one next year. I'm glad to be in such powerful company.

[sunbaby]

pamamidwife, 2 wouldnt you like to come stay in california for a bit in april and deliver MY baby?

[Aura_Kitten]

UC support thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=188939

[aquarianangela]

chiming in as someone else who is due in april 05 and as an ob--
i just read thru this thread and the one kristi (lulus mom) referred to.
i have no problem with someone who wants to uc if she is willing to educate herself, check her bps etc and understand what to look for in labor as far as when she might need to transfer.
i do mind when somebody transfers and i am trying to help her and her baby and she is giving me the evil eye because she feels so negatively about "sOBs". it makes it hard to communicate.
i am more comfortable with someone uc'ing who has had her first baby already and didn't have preeclampsia (more common with first babies) or preterm delivery. having those things before puts you at higher risk of having them again. however even someone with a first baby as long as she was checking her bp would be ok with me. (not that she would be asking my permission anyway!)
i have had a pt deliver her first baby into my arms with undiagnosed transposition of the great arteries. she had had 2 ultrasounds and it wasn't seen. the baby died after 45 minutes of me and the pediatrician trying to resuscitate him. she honored me by letting me assist her in her second birth. my point being that bad things can happen no matter where you are.
anyway, i also felt people were being hard on humanbeing in the above referenced thread. yes i think the uc'ers on mdc are not the uc'ers she has seen, and i saw where she repeatedly stated she supported uc'ers who educated themselves on the risks and benefits (which would be the uc'ers here imo). i have seen uc'ers who have not really educated themselves on the topic and just didn't really like going to midwives or docs but didn't really follow thru on their own prenatal care - i think these are the people she may have seen also.
oh well just my opinion- i am going to look at the cbirth thing here in a minute and see what kind of experiences they have had.
btw i have my own birth issues to discuss and ask opinions on... but that will need its own thread!

[Stream]

bump.

[Boof]

This is my first, so not really knowing the ropes or what to expect or how my body will handle it, I've chosen to have a midwife attend my homebirth. She knows she is secondary to my husband when it comes to supporting me and the baby and will only be there in case we need help. Depending on how things go and if we decide to have another child, it will most likely be UC.


xoxoxoxoxo

Beth