Originally Posted by Greaseball
That is true. And people can say "Being molested cannot be compared to having your hair cut" all they want, but maybe this haircutting incident is the worst thing that has ever happened to these boys.
And maybe the MIL is still a threat. We don't know what she said to make the boys react that way. If my child started swearing at an adult I would be more concerned about what the adult had done.
What makes this argument so interesting to me is something in Gavin de Becker's book Protecting the Gift; he mentions that when you get into certain situations with other people, your instinct is often to say something particularly foul but most people suppress that instinct in favor of "civil" behavior. He talks about a woman standing in line at a movie theater with her daughter and a man talking to them. She was thinking something along the lines of "who the h*ll do you think you are, why the f*ck are you talking to me?" but what she actually said was "mmm." De Becker says that he tells adults all the time to use their words, that if you say what's actually on your mind you're much less likely to become a target because a predator can sense it if you're not willing to stand up for yourself, even verbally.
I'm really not surprised to see so many people arguing that the use of "foul" language is unacceptable, because that's very deeply engrained in our society. Still, I'd ask you to take a better look at it. Sometimes, such language is very appropriate. I would argue that perhaps there were no "better ways" for Shann's son to express himself. Perhaps "f*ck off, b*tch" was the most appropriate and reasonable thing for him to say. I would never in my wildest dreams consider chastising my son for using such language, especially if I didn't know exactly what was said to him to ellicit that resonse. I'd certainly ask him about the conversation, but only because it would be very obvious to me that he was very upset.
Using "foul" language does not mean that you are inarticulate or incapable of "appropriate" speech. It doesn't mean that you're uneducated or that your lower class or even that your friends are. There are professors of English who swear like sailors when they're around their friends; professionals of all sorts, really.