I may be "going away" support please

[lauraess]

mamas: I need to write this because im in great need of support. my frriend and my dh are looking into getting me help. a friend who had great success at a certain facility is encouragingme and doing the footwork to see about this. My family is hurting because im losing it these days a lot. two days in a row i found my only solace on the floor of the shower for 45 minutes with the water on, sobbing the whole time till I was weak. Im aware that im hormonal, even perimenopausal(yes at 36) , full of baggage only half opened, and pretty much a nut case on meds (effexor)
I want to think all kinds of things since this is just almost scary enough to not do. Leave my family and home and let it go......***exactly what i've wanted to do soooo badly for days and days yet knew basically it was not possible. now it seems it may be the only recourse. my freind told me not to worry. she knows. how can a mama not worry? ok im trying to have faith it will all work out.
If any of you have ANY thoughts on this. please let me know. I know I am not always the most approachable person and sometimes i am downright rude but surely some of you have seen i have a very sweet and personable side and im a good mama like all of us here. please support me.
thankyou.
Laura

[GruppieGirl]

Please know that I am thinking of you.

I wish I had wise words to share, but I don't. Just know that you aren't alone.

[weetzie]

I can't tell you not to worry.

But I do encourage you to go to the facility. Your husband and friend will support you and you can get the help you need.

[Irishmommy]

((((lauraess))))

[sueami]

dear laura, what courage! it seems like the stronger we are, the more we have to bear before we will break. and the breaking, as scary and painful as it feels on this side of it, the breaking is grace, it's how we get to our true goodness and love and peace. what's breaking are all the defenses built up to protect us from hurts long over and done with, if only the protector within us knew it.

i'm so glad you have a friend who can recc a safe and supportive place to move through and beyond. i am holding you in my heart, sending out strength and peace. you deserve to know the deeply loving person you really are.

love,
susan

[lauraess]

Thankyou ladies; Sueami.. your words are so meaningful to me. I read your name on the fave moms list and knew i had you somewhere in my own unconscious list of favorites but since my memory is so scattered and such, I am not always sure WHY certain people stand out for what reasons. It is true- As i believe someone said in the Thread- That you have a kind and wonderful wisdom.
Laura

[NatureMama3]

It is a BIG step to recognize one needs more help than they can get at home.

My Mother admitted herself to a mental health facility 3 times when I was growing up. I am SO glad she did! She has only benefitted from it as did we in knowing she was getting the help she needed.

Now, 15+ years later she is so healthy and happy, it was very worth it!

Good luck

[Breathless Wonder]

I hope you find what you need. Wishing you peace.

[love2all]

Our thoughts are with you brave mama

[mamaley]

good for you for doing this. i'm thinking of you, and wish you the best. i know it's hard to leave your family, but think of how much better things will be in the long run if you get help. best wishes to you.

[paula_bear]

Laura,
I'm so sorry to hear you are in such pain. I'm sorry I haven't called you. We had a death in the family and had to go to North Jersey on Monday for the funeral. So I'm a day behind schedule and was playing catch-up yesterday. I will definitely call you today.

I can't say I've been where you are now, but I did have to "go away" twice when I was in my late teens. I hope that you find, as I did, that this experience will make you stronger and that you'll find a greater appreciation for life once you reach the other side.

Much love and hugs to you,
Paula

[monkey's mom]

Oh honey! You do what you have to do to take care of yourself! If you are not OK (and I do know what it's like to NOT be OK--lots and lots and lots of people have been there!), you can't be there for your family (as you have recently found, no?).

Take the help--there IS NO SHAME in getting the help you need and deserve!!

You will be in my prayers!

We are sick people trying to get well *NOT* bad people trying to get good!

Please take as much time as you need and keep us posted!

BIG HUGS!!

[annababy]

Just wanted to add some hugs and support. I understand what it is like to struggle...

be well.

anne (another sober nutcase mama on meds)

[wonderfulmom]

You have to take good care of yourself so you can take good care of your family. Your time away will benefit you first and then your family later. Things will be ok at home- even when things are a little difficult, they'll muddle through. ((HUGS)) and Best Wishes! How brave of you to take such a big step towards a better life! I'll be thinking of you.

[Red]

Oh, god, first a big hug and lots of encouragment to get whatever help you need.

Then, if you'r PM me, I'd like to mail you a book. It's my only copy, written by my cousin. It's called ' The Day Room', and is about her leaving her kids to find her own mental health. She calls it 'Procovery' not recovery. Here's a web site about her book.

http://www.procovery.com/resource-dayroom.htm

If you're interested I'll send it along. Take it with you and get what help you need. Your kids will be better for it in the end, and so will you.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[lauraess]

mama freinds one and all: i thank you so very very much for your good wishes and support. I beleive in every one of you and your inspirations are valueable beyond what one would imagine. please, know you are apreciated in this and many of your good and giving ways because you didnt have to write anything. really, you give more than i expected.
currently, plans are still in the process since my dearest friend gave birth to her first and I was so lucky and blessed to be her coach! Even a nutty mama can be a strong mama who helps too --Actually, Im wondering when I will come down from this birth-high! im delirious from lack of sleep and utter utter excitement. There is absolutely nothing more crazy and beautiful and wild and wonderful and......... DEAR GODDESS!! --And the THING IS: this is the friend who called her facility for me and is seeking help along with my dh for ME!?!--- UH,,,, sHE WAS MAKING THE CALL WHILE HER WATER WAS LEAKING!
so, needless to say Im quite in awe of my friend and am sooo proud of her -how can I question her love? Im the blessed one here. Im dying to call her right now but i know she is so tired and I will go see her tomarro.
Mamas: Thanks a ton.
I will keep you posted.
Laura

[mountaincaats]

Wow! What an awsome dh and friend. And you seem quite strong for standing by them through this. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need some sort of help and guidance. Bless you. Do what you need to do to sort thiings out. It will be so much better for you and your family in the long run. Lots of hugs and love to you, your friend and your family.
~Shannon~

[alliwenk]

Oh lauraess......I am SO sorry. I went through something similar years ago and suffered terribly, unfortunately I don't know how or "if" I got better and am not sure how to help...

But you will be in my thoughts dear....

Allison

[lauraess]

just wanted to let you know that as i pointed out last post i am now at the better half of my cycle-- which is literally nite and day comparison. It truly for me is related to my perimenopause- and if you've read susun weeds book or Dr. Northrup you have understanding of how our emotionaly, spiritual, and physical issues come to light in these areas and if we do not address and heal them we continue to suffer. well, my dh and I have decided that we we will look into having me go to the facility in the time of my moon-time. we are very much hoping this is what i need.
it makes a lot of sense looking at it this way.
thanks so much for your support
Laura

[wonderfulmom]

Thanks for the update. Let us know how you're doing- we'll be thinking of you. ((hugs))