gonnabe - Welcome! We play very, very nice here!!
to you!! Sounds like you are going through a tough time. I hear you on the "would have been due this month" blues - that was me in July. It SUCKS!! And, there's hardly anyone you can relate your feelings to (unless you have incredibly empathetic angelic friends or family or someone who has experienced the same). This thread is meant to be that place with empathetic angelic friends!!
In any case, know that you are not alone. I can't give any good advice. I was very very sad in July, then my sadness eventually faded into the background. I picked myself up and gave myself a kick in the pants (I think that's what I did!!
). I think what helped was a recognition by some of the women here that TTC had so taken over their lives that they forgot to live in the moment and enjoy the nice things when the came. This may not be how you feel but I really related to it at the time and it helped. I know in my heart I will be a good mommy when the little one comes (and she will come), but concentrating on TTC is sometimes too sad and too overwhelming!!
Hope you have a better month!!