30+ and TTC 12 mos+ 8/29-9/04

[Stone Fence]

Ok I'll start the new thread.

I'm just waiting to O. RE appointment Thursday!

[mamaharsh]

CD10 -three days until O

And we haven't GIO yet this cycle. I'm swimming in EWCM, so DH had better be ready this evening...

I'm giving notice today. I'm nervous about actually
telling my boss, but I'm absolutely ready to quit. If
I could walk out today and be done, I'd do it.

Please remind me that this is something I really want,
when I'm losing my mind a few months from now...

[chiromama]

Sara, this is something you want. You have been COUNTING down the days!!! You're going to be soooo happy! (and pregnant!)

Amy, good luck at the RE this week. :

I'm pretty sure I Oed, although my temps are weak weak weak! Not even close to where they usually are. Weird. So I'm on the Progesterone, but no symptoms from it other than the dizziness.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be pregnant this month. I just don't have hope, even though we had sex amillion times, and I had great EWCM. I just don't think I will be. How sad is that?

[AdinaL]

Weird temps babe.

Course mine aren't doing any better.

And you never know! You had good CM - and after all, it only takes one, and goodness knows we know enough people between the two of us that got knocked up with far less GIO! :LOL

Amy - good luck with the RE!

[gonnabeamom]

Can I play?

I've been having a sucky month because I was due this month, and it's just been really hard. Lots of crying jags, and generally feeling sorry for myself. It seem too much to even post here while I was feeling so lousy, though I'm grateful to whoever started the thread, so I've just lurked since it started.

I'm Oing late this month, and not feeling really hopeful, but not exactly pessimistic either, more like not able to feel anything about this specific month.

Oddly enough the only that thoroughly distracts me from being miserable is kids. Go figure.

[chiromama]

You're always welcome here Gonnabe. Sorry about the anniversary.

[waiting4baby]

gonnabe - Welcome! We play very, very nice here!!

Also, to you!! Sounds like you are going through a tough time. I hear you on the "would have been due this month" blues - that was me in July. It SUCKS!! And, there's hardly anyone you can relate your feelings to (unless you have incredibly empathetic angelic friends or family or someone who has experienced the same). This thread is meant to be that place with empathetic angelic friends!!

In any case, know that you are not alone. I can't give any good advice. I was very very sad in July, then my sadness eventually faded into the background. I picked myself up and gave myself a kick in the pants (I think that's what I did!! ). I think what helped was a recognition by some of the women here that TTC had so taken over their lives that they forgot to live in the moment and enjoy the nice things when the came. This may not be how you feel but I really related to it at the time and it helped. I know in my heart I will be a good mommy when the little one comes (and she will come), but concentrating on TTC is sometimes too sad and too overwhelming!!

Hope you have a better month!!

[Laurel]

Gonnabeamom, I'm so sorry that you are having such a difficult time, though I think your feelings around an anniversary date are totally normal!

Well, I am rebooting. Af showed up three days ago, and it has been one of my worst ones for a long time--awful cramps. I am feeling OK about everything. After the feelings I'd had, I pretty much knew I wouldn't be pg this month. I am getting ready to schedule a consultation with an RE and am even entertaining the thought of allowing fertility drugs back into my life if that is what is needed. I do feel very positive that our chances for conception are good, so that helps with the monthly disappointments. After my experience adopting my son, I have a deep inner knowledge and peace that miracles do eventually happen, and that helps so much with this journey.

[May-lily]

Hello all
well I'm back from my vacation and back at work full swing...feeling a bit overwhelmed. Also, due to mine and dh's travelling this month is a zero chance, as I o'd while we were apart. The 'good' news is I o'd on cd19 with no herbs or other help, which is not so bad. Now I wait for my HSG (I'm so scared, it's Friday and dh wont even be back to go with me) and AF. I'm hesitating about doing the IUI next cycle or skipping one or two cycle to see if the HSG does the trick.

I hear you all about due dates. My baby would have been one in July, and I just took my 5 th trip home to France since trying, hoping each time I'd have good news to share

Hugs to everyone. sorry to be a downer...hope you're all doing better!
Let's hope for a great September.

[chiromama]

So two HSGs this week... well we'll all be here for the virtual hand holding. Your hubby couldn't go in with you, but it's nice to have someone else there to drive you home ( do you have some good friend that could do it Marie? )

I think the HSG messed with my ovaries. I think it scared them a bit... since my chart is wonky since having it. But we shall see if it helps anything!

Marie, does your insurance cover the IUI? if they do, I'd go for it... why waste another month trying if you can pull out the next big gun instead. sorry about the crappy anniversaries everyone!

[waiting4baby]

Marie-C - You are not a downer!! Sounds like there are a lot of sad feelings going around right now. It's so hard not to feel down when you know you would have a baby in your arms today if not for X (write in your fertility problem of choice here). I too long to share good news with friends and family and just kind of feel left out of the joy that my other pregnant and new mom friends are feeling (I have two friends who are due any day now). Sigh!!

I don't know exactly what to say to make you feel better, but I do understand how you feel. Please take care of yourself (you too, gonnabeamom). This TTC journey is much harder than anyone told us it would be. I didn't even realize there would be a journey!!

to all!!

[chiromama]

Yeah. we all get to be downers somedays. It's just the rule. And those are the days when the rest of us hold you up.

Jeeeeez, if I told you how many times (during the LP) I've come up with fun ways to tell whomever will be visiting or whomever i'll be seeing.... I'd be considered competely insane!

[AdinaL]

We all get to be down. Some days are great, and some days you want to jump off your roof.

And some days you are at your friends house and listening to her birth video in the background......


And trying to ignore it.

[Velveteen]

Cd 15

I guess I didn't subscribe!

I am O'ing late this month, but at least I'm O'ing! The good thing is, I know my cycle will be 'late' this month, whether I am pg or not. That helps.

Welcome back Marie-C!

Sorry for the re-boot Laurel. I like your reasoning......sounds like you do have inner peace despite ttc turmoil.
I am strongly considering doing Clomid next cycle if I don't get pg this cycle. I hate to do it though. We'll see.

Gonnabe, I am sorry things are so hard. I had a friend that had her babe when I was supposed to be 'due' after my m/c. That was SO hard. It was just so hard........

Adina, how did you happen to be there during the birth video? :

[coleslaw]

here eggie, eggie, eggie - cd19

What is it with missing eggs this month? I know my problem is that I'm taking Vitex, which did this to me last time. But I am supposed to time an accupuncture appointment a couple of days before I o. I tried, but that pre-o app't was Sat, so I guess I'll just have to wait until after.

Sorry you are feeling the blues, marie, gonnabe and anyone else who needs a hug

Ooo, Adina, that's a tough one to ignore. I would have lost it. And I'm not sure if it would be anger or tears. You are one tough momma!

[mamaharsh]

Gonnabe. Treat yourself to something nice to make yourself feel better. It's always hard to pass a due date without a baby in your arms. I know that November is going to be hard for me, especially since I have 3 friends due within three weeks of my date.

for anyone else who needs it. I'm actually in a good place right now, so lean on me if you need to.

We managed to GIO last night, but since we hadn't in about two weeks, I'm guessing there were a lot of dead spermies in there. Now I'm coming down with the cold, so that may have been our only shot. Wonder if I can get DH to just GIO without me having to move? :LOL

[AdinaL]

Yeah - I didn't watch any of the birth video. Dh was helping my friend get it off the camera and on to the computer. Hazard of being a house guest.

[waiting4baby]

Ugh, Adina! I hate those kinds of "hazards." It's hard to visit the ones you love just to be reminded of what you are missing. Visiting my dh's family is that way - I really enjoy being around them, but there is ALWAYS another new baby (oh, the joys of a large family).

Velveteen - welcome back!! I don't think there's any subscribing on this thread. We seem to just pop out and pop back in again. It's so much easier to keep track of than the One Thread, however!! And the women here are my faves!

As for the missing eggs, perhaps they are all having a party together and didn't invite us?? :

[Stone Fence]

Everyone is so sad

everyone.

I had my kitty put to sleep yesterday. I had him longer than DH. He had a vaccination sarcoma.

[May-lily]

thanks for all the support everyone...I realized last night that I'll probably be on a school trip around next o so an IUI would probably not work but I need to talk to my RE.
SF so sorry about your kitty.I would be devastated if something happened to my cat. I hope it's some comfort to know you eased things for him. And animals dont have the same fear of death as we do, so your kitty is probably grateful that you loved him so well right through the end. Big hugs to you.
Chiro...not sure yet if my insurance covers anyhting. I need to make calls but I'm swamped in all day meetings. YErk!