30+ and TTC 12 mos+ 8/29-9/04 - Page 6

[Stone Fence]

I broke my promise

I felt really sorry for myself this weekend. Thank goodness I went to the fair/horseshow. I need distraction.

We went to my friends house for a birthday party for the little boy she and her DH are adopting. He was a little overwhelmed at his gifts, but he never lost his cool or forgot to say thank you. He's such a great kid. I'm a little jealous. We played kickball and had pizza and cake and ice cream. DH learned how to play Jenga. Then he invented a new version of Jenga. Verticle Jenga. We all had a lot of fun with that.

Anyhoo, we may be starting adoption classes next month.

[alexisyael]

Amy, it's OK to feel down!!!

[gonnabeamom]

Thank God it's okay to feel down. Else I wouldn't be aloud to visit very often.

I'm not doing very well on the serenity points. I guess I'm doing pretty well on the overall scale. I'm doing my tape and taking my vitamins, and using the aromatherapy blend, and talking more positively. On the minute to minute scale, I'm lousy. Every twinge gets an "Am I pregnant?" I'm doing booby checks most trips to the bathroom. My sleep has been weird lately, and so I feel spacey and tired, like I did when I was pregnant. But also like I do half of the rest of the time. So I'm half convinced this is the month and half convinced we're going to have to do IVF. The upside was some friends recently got pregnant on their first IVF cycle, and since she had m/c also, I really identified with them. Some how it makes it seem more like a viable option if we need it.

[Stone Fence]

Thanks again mamas!

It seems like every other post is thanking everyone for their kind words. Everyone here ROCKS!

I can't wait for Korin and Adina to get back!

I love the new smilies!

[waiting4baby]

Hello everyone! I'm back from a looooong weekend of home-improvement projects and boy am I tired!! Wish I had gone camping instead (lucky Adina and Korin!!).

Don't have too much time for personals, but I missed you all!!

About the burning man thing - I would be really angry if dh purposefully went away for several days longer than a three-week work trip required and then missed an important medical appointment. I would be hurt too and feel like he didn't want to be around me. 2 However, in every situation I can think of (assuming a loving dh who has no mean streaks), dh probably didn't mean to hurt you. Either (1) dh really wanted to go to burning man as a reward for his hard work and did not want to be "forbidden" from going (power struggle - yucky!!), or (2) dh doesn't understand how much you need him during the TTC journey (I know dh didn't until just recently and look how long we've been TTC!!), or (3) dh feels overwhelmed and at a loss with the TTC and purposefully was away so as to avoid dealing with it. In any case, I hope you try to talk to him at some point to hash these things out. TTC really takes a toll on relationships and talking sometimes relieves the pressure.

As for me - I'm not doing well on my serenity points either. I feel crazy with my duties and always have something on the invisible "to do" list. No rest for me for days. And, to top it off, the OPK that my friend leant me this past cycle gave me two peak days that did not jive at all with my cm OR my temping. So, the OPK says I ovulated two days ago and FF says I have not. Agggh!!! : Which one is right????? Anyone have experience with this??

[AdinaL]

I'm baaaa-aaaack.


And 30! : to me!


Camping was cold and we bailed after the first night - nothing like below freezing temps and rain to make it so miserable it isn't worth it.


No idea when I am going to O - or if I have already or what....haven't been taking my temps. Bad bad bad adina....

[Velveteen]

Welcome back!!!

Gonnabe, can you share your aromatherapy idea with me?

WB4: I think you hit the burning man issue right on the money.
Good thinkin'

Amy, I would feel jealous too. Here's to you and a babe in arms, no matter HOW it gets there!

[coleslaw]

Welcome back Adina and : 30 isn't as bad as people make it sound.

[AdinaL]

nah - no different than 29 really, and 28 before that. Just harder knowing that the end to the fertility that I do have (which ain't much) is rapidly approaching. Otherwise - I don't care either way.

[Johanna]

Burning man is HUGE! Not a small event at all. google it. Seriously. Its insane. Not that a guy blowing off his family is right (I have no idea whats going on just saw burning man being mentioned)

I thought I'd jump on this thread as I was feeling a little weird in the one thread. I'm not 30+ but we have been trying for over a year. I am 28 in a couple months, if that helps at all

I'm on CD51, and no sign of bleeding. Neg test, too.

Happy Birthday, Adina!!! j00 r0x0r my s0x0rs!

[alexisyael]

Ooohhh new smilies:

:fireman :horse1 :horse2

I don't usualy check them

OH -- Yeah, I'm a little spacey lately... frankly, I was so spacey that it didn't even OCCUR to me that spaciness could be a symptom of being pregnant, so thanks gonnabe, for reminding me

Nah, actually, I'm doing really well on the serenity points. Maybe not on other points (the "remembering to eat in the morning" one is particularly hard right now... I bought myself some organic flax waffles to see if they would help remind me! but I am not worrying or thinking about every twinge. Just being in my zen state of "I don't know, I might be, I might not be. I will know in a week or so."

That's pretty good, for me Ms. used-to-be-a-wreak-in-the-wait!

w4b -- that's weird. I've never done OPK, so I have no clue, sorry!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADINA!!!!!!!!!!

Tigers rawk!!!!!

BELLY BLESSINGS!!!!!

[dani76]

What are the serenity points? Sounds interesting.

Welcome back Adina! And Happy Birthday!!! May your next year bring you happiness.....okay okay, so may your next year bring you a baby!!

As for me, still waiting to O. One of things that are frustrating about getting the all clear from the HSG test, is that everyone says "See, everything's fine. You just need to relax." And when I say that there are other things that could be wrong, they tell me that I'm being negative. But I've learned enough to know that I'm probably right. Okay, rant over.

Alexis, How was your anniversary?

[alexisyael]

Dani, we just made up the serenity points, that I know Like, ooohh, I'm so good at being serene, I get five points today! (But I never really aloted myself points, so that's a silly example!)

My anniversary was nice, very nice I wish we'd been able to go away, but oh well... we had a VERY expensive meal that was good (but not great) and a nice time talking about the future/ and some relationship highlights. M is very worried these days about his career and getting a good job in a great location. He's starting to apply in Oct, and it is freaking him out a lot. I'm having to calm him down. It's good, I am a very good "calm him down" wife

We both agree we're in a great phase right now. Loving where we are. Loving our relationship. Loving being in the right place and time to make a baby together. We're looking at TTC as still a journey. (It helps that we know what we'd do in the worst case scenario).

I have to say, M had a neat little fantasy tonight, while we were in the bath together (LOVE that bathtub!). It involved us being parents of my niece and living on the lam in Tahiti. I know it won't ever happen (not a snowballs chance, in fact) but it was so reassuring to hear that he is thinking about that situation in the same way I am.

Dani, I'm sending you good O vibes!

[waiting4baby]

Give yourself 1000 serenity points if, in the past month, you have juggled three of the following things and remained relatively sane:
(1) work or career challenges
(2) volunteer work
(3) relationship with dh
(4) relationship with family
(5) relationship with friends
(6) TTC
(7) pet/family member sick or dying
(8) home improvement
(9) crazy neighbors
(10) venting about political ads/parties
(11) a hobby (as if we have time)
(12) anything else

THERE, WE ALL GET SERENITY POINTS!!

Welcome back Adina!! : The 30s are FABULOUSO!!

Alexis - I kwym!! DH and I spent a lot of time on our anniversary generally loving the groove we are in. We love each other, our new house, our jobs (generally) and the fact that we are preparing ourselves for children. It's a good journey we are on and dh's a very nice person to take it with!!

Johanna - to the thread!! Well, as we are learning from Adina, youth does not an easy TTC journey make. Oh, heck. who am I kidding??? We are ALL very young here and that arbitrary age of 30 is not a good measurement of when TTC difficulties will occur!!!! So, if you have been TTC nearly a year you are more than welcome to join us!! Plus, I have not been on the One Thread much and I missed you!


Still hoping for an answer to my question about OPK giving me peak and high days very much out of synch with my charting and cm checking. Adina - you're the guru, what do you think????

to everyone else. This thread ROCKS!!

[AdinaL]

Hmmm...W4b you using regular OPKs? Or a monitor of some kind?? It does seem to be a little out of sync....but not too bad. Let me look and ponder a bit more.

[waiting4baby]

Adina - I'm using a monitor my friend gave me. The sticks are also little OPKs, so I could see that the double line corresponding with the "peak" and "high" days I got from the monitor.

I had ewcm, but no temp rise. Then, after two days, two "peak" days and then a "high" day according to the monitor, but no ewcm and no temp rise. Then, today I got a modest temp rise - two days after the "high" day. We gio'ed on the ewcm day and the two "peak" days, just to make sure. Boy, this is confusing!!

[Johanna]

waiting4baby, you are SO sweet. 2

I really couldn't stay completely away from you girls , but I was getting too sad on the one thread I wanted to be so happy for the girls all getting positives so quickly, but I just got sad, instead. So here I am

[dani76]

Just a thought L'Nayim, but could it be that you are ovulating 2-3 days earlier than your temp rise? Because even in your previous cycle, you had ewcm a few days before your rise. I've never used opks so I don't know exactly how they work in conjunction with temps. Good luck!

[Velveteen]

I'm 9dpo

Welcome Joanna!
I'm having one of those days.....mostly because I am symptomless and wanting to get this cycle over with.
I ovulated two days later this month, so at least I know I'm going to be 'late'.

W4B, if your using the Clear Plan, try not to see the sticks as little OPK's, because they really don't work like that. They are measuring two hormones, and opk's only measure LH.
At times, the monitor will register 'high' especially when you first start using it. They give you a buffer zone so to speak. As you go along (which hopefully won't be long) the high days get shorter as it learns about you and your cycles. At first, expect up to six days of a high reading before your peak. After that it goes down. Also, the high day after your peak is there because there is a small chance of another egg being released. The two peak days are the ones to really zone in on, which you already did!! Does that make sense?
I do notice that my ewcm does not always correspond, but you know your body, and have the advantage of temping.
I tend to agree with Dani that you are having a late temp rise.

[gonnabeamom]

My post yesterday went awry so I won't get the whole thing but a few high points are worth repeating.

Adina, Happy Birthday (okay so I'm late now, but I wasn't yesterday)

I don't know how serious you were about 30 and declining fertility, but assuming you were serious. A) Even among folks who think fertility declines with age 30 is too young to worry. I'm 37 and I've had all of my pregnancies after 30-two while on birth control. B) There is some dispute as to how valid the declining fertilty with ages theory is. Christiane Northrup among others argue that this decline didn't use to be seen, and that it still isn't among populations outside the US mainstream. There is a theory that fertility is declining among people in the developed nations, that appears to be a decline by age because we are more likely to have our children later.

Aromatherapy link

Aromatherapy for fertility

Now onto the new stuff.

I went swimming yesterday and felt really wonderful for the first time in ages. Got through most of the day without thinking about whether I was pregnant. Just another week of this insanity to go.

Could somebody explains what the *bad word* this means

2 It looks like someone with headgear.

On the subject of monitors, I agree with Velveteen, DO NOT LOOK AT THE STICKS. It just confuses the issue. The point of the visible lines is as far as I can tell so you know whether a stick is used or not. I also assume that though they look the same as the sticks for the pregnancy test that the material inside them is different since they measure totally different substances.

My understanding of the peak-peak-high thing is slightly different. You get your first peak as soon as the monitor detects the LH surge. YOu will ovulate 24-36 hours later. So sex that day or the next are you best chance to get fresh sperm in place to meet the egg. There is a smaller chance that sperm put in place within the first 12-24 hours after the egg is released will fertilies it, but it is possible. Also remember that the testing up to your first peak is based on your cycles and history and after that the monitor just spits out peak-peak-high.