30+ and TTC 12 mos+ 8/29-9/04 - Page 5

[gonnabeamom]

Alexis,

Happy Anniversary, maybe you should celebrate by finding a new position.

Amy,

Go get a copy of Inconceviable (please tell me it's Amy who's got the high FSH) by Julie Inchovida. She had secondary infertility and very high FSH and had fertility docs tell her it was all over, and she got pregnant on her own. Fertileheart.com is her website. It will give you some information about the problem, but it may also give you hope.

Chiromama have a great time, and I hope the tiredness abates, or just turns out to be preggo symptoms.

Yes DH is a sweet man whose responsibility complex turns him into a big Dork, especially around sex. I've started the conversation, but it's gonna take a while, and I've never figured out how to be delicate about it, or delicate enough. He's just very repressed, not about sex itself, but about talking about it, and about most things that are pleasurable having to be had only after you've earned them. But having had MIL here for two weekends recently I should be really grateful he's human at all. So while I wait for him to be ready to talk about it, I come here and vent, and you ladies make me feel better.

Back to TTC talk we did manage to do enough GIO to cover my egg, but I realized I'm not having any CM to speak of. All I can remember about trying to increase it is drinking more water. I suppose we could resort to egg whites.

So onto my usual calm 2 ww behavior.

[coleslaw]

I posed thsi question in the one thread, but I need some more expert opinions. BTW, I don't think any of these are pg signs. I am just wondering when I really o'd.

OK, despite the fact that I have been at this for so long, I have a cm question. 3 days ago, when FF says I o'd, I thought I might have had watery cm. It was clear and slightly stretchy (about 3 inches). Could that have been semen? I ask because the day before I had nothing, which is weird for me to have fertile cm, stop, then start up again. I'm thinking I got it wrong and actually o'd 2 days before. I can't tell by my temps because my temps are so zip-zaggy which is also unusual. I also got a tiny itsy-bitsy bit of spotting that could have been easily missed (but of course I'm paying attention) which is also screwy for me. I am on Vitex and herbs and accupuncture so I am assuming my body is changing, hence the differences I am seeing. Any thoughts? Thanks!

[coleslaw]

Hi, me again! I found a website related to one of the books I talked about The Whole Person Fertility Program Enjoy!

[May-lily]

Hi all
I had my HSG yesterday (results are all good) and it went ok. Better than I feared but much worse than I hoped. I had taken a little codein so most was not truly painful (the oil was the worst) but very uncomfortable. I also kept getting weepy and a little short of breath, which made it hard for me to stay clam because I've had anaphylectic shock before, so I always worry about another reaction.
Having said all that, the suckiest part of it is that dh (who was on a business trip in Vegas and lft for burning man yesterday), did not call me to see how I was or say good luck!!!!! He'd better have a good reason (cant think of one personally) and be very apologetic or he'll find his welcome home quite cold.
On the plus side, a good friend kindly drove me there and back, another one had me over for dinner and the nurse and my doctor were super kind. They kept me informed all the time, held my hand, reassured and told me how great I was doing about 50 times! Bless their hearts. The nurse even gave me a hug afterwards.
Question for relationship "experts": am I overreacting by being mad that my dh chose to go to Burning Man for 3 days on the tail of a 3week + business trip. He knew I did not want him to go and the business trip separation was long enough in my mind, especially with TTC! ??? We'll have been apart from 8/12 until 9/6 and for me it would have made a huge difference to have him this week-end since boarders come back on Tuesday and I'll be "on" all week, including evenings....how would you ladies deal with the disappointment without taking it out on him, which I tend to do and it gets ugly...any advice welcome Thanks
M

[dani76]

Well, I am waiting to o as well. I haven't been posting lately, just lurking. Things are going good, we're having more sex and that always makes us get along better.

To all that are doing fun things this weekend, have fun!!!

Marie, Glad you're HSG went well. For me it was the catheter that hurt. Did you bleed at all afterwards? For dh, are you able to talk about it without taking it out on him? With my dh, I tend to over explain when I'm upset and it just frustrates him. So I try to keep it to the point. But I would be mad if I were you too!

Keri, Not sure about the cm. It sounds fertile. I don't think that sperm is super stretchy. And isn't sperm cloudy while cm is clear...I think.

Amy, Good luck with the new GP and Gyn. I haven't read all of the books suggested, but I've heard a lot about inconceivable.

Gonnabe, I hope that dh comes around soon! Some people just weren't brought up to be comfortable talking about sex. Have you already tried counseling? Good luck!

[Velveteen]

Marie, there is really a place called 'burning man?' I don't know what to say about him not being there. Sometimes men just 'think' differently, and maybe he thought there was nothing he could do for you?

I concur with Dani that cm if it is fertile is stretchy. Semen wouldn't be stretchy.

I wanted to ask you all about Clomid again. If this cycle is a bust I am seriously thinking about it. What days did you take it? Did it affect your cm drastically?? Will it make me gain weight?? Help!!

[Laurel]

I have't been around for a few days either. I have been sick and spent last evening throwing up. Every time this happens to me I wonder if I really want to be pg after all.

Velveteen, I was on clomid about 5 yrs ago for 5 months. I think I took it days 3-7. It had a HORRIBLE effect on my cm. No wonder I didn't get pg on it! I have been thinking about trying it again too, but if I did this time I would combine it with IUI's.

[gonnabeamom]

DH did come around, we had a couple of good talks and a spontaneous promise from him that I am more important to him than this is, and that he wants to work past it. Which of course lead to some wonderful GIO.

I was making myself crazy yesterday with the am I preggo stuff. I was tired, vaguely nauseaous, and my chest looked like a road map. Am feeling better today so I think it was just heat and a bad nights sleep. Plus even at the time I knew it was way to soon for symptoms I'm only about 3 or 4 DPO.

Velveteen,

My intial reaction is to that this is truly temper tantrum material. 3 weeks and then going ahead and going? I'd blow my stack.

On a more rational basis, mitigating factors are that Burning Man is a unique thing that only happens once a year. It's not really like golfing or a concert, so that if its something important or meaningful to him he couldn't do it another time. If he has no control over the timing of the trip, then it's unfortunate that they fell back to back. If he does then he's still in the doghouse. Or if it was just a I want to go see this thing, also dog house.

The really disturbing thing to me is that it appears he did this over your objects but without talking to him about it. I might suggest you write two letters, one where you blast with both guns, and the other where you calmly let him know 1) that this bothers you 2) why it bothers you 3) how much you miss him when he's gone Give him the second one, and try to treat him as you would if he hadn't gone to Burning Man. That is don't blast him when he gets in the door, as if you aren't glad he came home. These are just some thoughts.

I'm glad your HSG went well.

[May-lily]

Gonnabe, thanks for the advice. It makes sense but I think i'll just try to shut up because I'm still really resentful.
Velveteen: Burning Man is a once a year art/music happening that takes place in the desert. People go and build a city for a few days, do all sorts of crazy art and then burn a symbol of "the Man". At the end, they dismantle and clean up. They have a "leave no trace" policy.
I'm glad you and your dh made up!
My dh had no control over any of the dates and really wanted to go to BM but I'm disappointed that being back home asap wasnt a bigger priority. I'm not looking forward to the "picking up of pieces" I'll have to do when he comes home utterly exhausted, drained and with little to offer in return (as he does after each business trip). It's hard to be sympathetic when I know he's using the last of his energy/strength on things that take him away from us and ttc.
Thanks for reading my vent. Have a great week !!!
M

[dani76]

Where is everyone??

I hope that everyone is having a good weekend. I'm bored so I'll wander around to find someone to talk to. See ya later!

[alexisyael]

Marie -- Burning Man is such a huge thing, I don't think I'd be mad about M going (hell, I'd be JUMPING for joy if he wanted to go -- I've been trying to convince him to do it for AGES!). But I would be pissed off *I* didn't get to go, so figure

Look at it in terms of the big picture -- he had to do 3 weeks of non-fun, missing-you crappy business, and then he got 3 days of fun, missing-you craziness... if anything, it might recharge him to be more present and loving At least once he gets over his trip-fatigue!

I do not concur about semen not being stretchy!! It definitely can be! (there's different layers to semen -- part of it is cloudy, and part of it is clear -- taht part is stretchy, ime).

gonnabe

Belly Blessings!

[Velveteen]

Alexis, how are you doing in the wait??
I stand corrected on the semen stretchiness factor!

[coleslaw]

Thanks for everyone's replies on my cm issues. I decided to change that day to sticky which makes me 8 dpo now.

I agree with Alexis on the Burning Man topic. I probably woould have changed the appointment. Although there was a time (pre-dd) that I would have been pissed, so I understand.

[alexisyael]

I'm doing pretty well in the wait, Velvet. We're rub the belly, tell the baby we're ready whenever s/he is, but I'm trying to be very in the moment and not get too tied up in the fantasy, IYKWIM. Of course, that gets harder for me around day 12 -- because I start thinking, 'well, I don't usually have an LP longer than 12 days' -- but of course, that isn't true anymore! It was just true the first few times I ovulated! Now I have a normal LP...

It's funny, I think when M and I talked about worst case scenarios, it really helped me let go of a lot of my worrying over each cycle... I will still get attached, I'm sure, but I'm doing a fairly food job right now of being zen about it.

How're you doing???

[Velveteen]

Was it Laurel that said 'I try not to get attached to any one cycle?"
That sentence helps me a lot. Especially as I'm thinking this cycle is a bust. I am trying to forget about it and just live life in the 2ww instead of checking the calendar constantly, counting days, etc...examining every little twitch and pain with excruicating detail. That's exhausting.

On the other hand, want to be pg this cycle other wise I'll get 'the label'.

[alexisyael]

I'll get "the label" halfway through my next cycle if... so I completely understand! But since I only started ovulating in March, we're not sure if the label will fit us yet.... BLECH ON LABELS ANWAY!

OK, now I gotta get my groove on, cause Cyprus Hill just came up in my iTunes and I LOVE THEM!!!!!! "get up, stand up, come on thow your hands up!"

Do I feel a Korin-channeling spell coming on????

Maybe after I shake my booty for a bit!

[Velveteen]

Alexis, did I tell you I was thinking about taking a belly dancing class?
My herbalist said it was good for fertility, and besides, it sounds like fun!!

BOO on labels.

[alexisyael]

You might have, Velvet, but I forgot... do you have a lead for teachers, or do you need help finding one?

I've heard that about belly dancing before... supposedly, it increases blood flow to the pelvis. Shoot, if that was totally true, I'd be pregnant already! (I have a bellydancer friend who was infertile for 9 years before concieving finally this year! UGH. And she's been dancing a long while, too... at least 10 years, I think).

Anyway, I did channel K and write a new TTC song (from the sperm's perspective!) I put it in her old thread

I miss her. And Adina...

[Velveteen]

I think I may try just the locally held class, you know, the kind in a gymnasium, and see if it is something I like.

Where is Adina, anyway?

[alexisyael]

camping... she'll be back tomorrow or the next, I think