I'm going to try and answer for Sonya....
Glad to "see" you here. And congrats on thinking about a UC!
I'm responding to you here. "I think part of my fear is because I have a close friend who had an UC and her baby developed problems and died about a week later. I just see the sorrow they endure and I think, that could have been anyone. And if it were me, would I have seen the problems, and if I did see them, what would I do. So there again is the back and forth in my head."
The friend that Sonya is referring to, lost a child NOT related to the birth. He died when he was seven days old. It was extremely tragic for anyone that knew the family. I had just had a UC four months earlier, and I was COMPLETELY shaken by watching a friend lose a child. BUT it wasn't because of his birth. He showed subtle signs of illness shortly before his death (he died in a hospital, btw), but nothing that screamed emergency. And believe me, I have replayed it in my mind a MILLION times. His mother called the day before he was admitted to the hospital, to say he didn't seem to be eating much, and asked me to listen to his breathing. I LAUGHED. Honestly. He sounded like any other baby...they aren't always quiet breathers. But his Mom sensed something that I couldn't see. And sure enough, when she took him to be examined we realized he was sick. Sonya is right..it was heartbreaking. But so is the loss of any child. On a positive note, this same friend went on to have another UC, and a healthy baby.
I think Sonya's question wasn't regarding the birth, but at what point do you recognize the standard newborn irregularities, versus the "I have a sick newborn" signs. It can be difficult to tell. I just had my first baby since our friend's lost, and I have a heightened sense of "is that normal???" everytime she sneezes or coughs. I didn't have that the last time, because I just assumed nothing would ever happen. Now, I know that the one in a million can be you.....anyway...
I think that having someone you can trust to check your baby, can be invaluable. I agree with Sonya, that I don't know enough to do it myself. Our UC baby two years ago, I took to a dr. at four days, and didn't have any problems (said it was planned mw attended....noone asked questions). This baby (born August 25) I had checked by a MW, and then took to the dr. at two weeks. And it was exactly what my family needed, this time. And again, I didn't have any problems. Anyhoo.....sorry to answer for Sonya, but when I saw Klothos ask again, thought I would reply for now! LOL! Have a blessed day! Tiff