Homebirthin' Mamas Thread - Page 8

[pixiexto]

I'm due at the end of January

[milk_maker]

Hi. I'm so happy to say that I'm going to be having a home water birth. I'm due in February and this will be my first baby. It took a lot of convincing w/ DH but the military health system made his mind up for me and now he's very supportive of my desire to birth at home.

I have a couple of questions for those who have BTDT.

Animals. I have a dog and three cats. I've already planned to put the kitties in their room during labor, but I don't know what to do w/ the dog. I know she would be in the way and if we locked her up she would tear down the door to get to me. She's very protective of me. Should I arrange to have her kenneled?

How did you make it clear to people that just because you're having a HB does not mean that it's going to be a party at the Gibster's house? I've had two friends who have already invited themselves over and I'm trying to figure out how to say no, but nicely.

I guess that's all I can think of at the moment...I'm sure my pregnancy brain will stop as soon as I post this

[pixiexto]

welcome Monica & congratulations on your first baby and your upcoming home birth! Our daughter was also born at home, our first baby. People looked at me like I was nuts, lol!

We have a dog, and she did really well at the birth. We planned to keep her leashed, but in the room so that she could see what was happening (part of introducing the baby to "her" home, kind of thing) Well, turns out that the stress got to the poor girl and she passed out in an almost coma-like sleep for most of the labor, heh heh. I guess it all depends on the temperament of your dog and the dynamics in the home ~ is your dog well trained, does she challenge rank, etc. Best of luck with that!

As far as your last question about keeping people out, my approach has always been to be extremely clear & direct. If you don't wish for anyone outside of your DH & birth attendant to be there, then just tell people that. We also cut people off at the pass & told all family (including my parents) that we were planning a 1-month babymoon. Our family lives very far away, so a visit would necessitate them *staying* with us, and neither Dh nor I were keen on that. They took it really well, and even though I know they would have preferred come earlier they respected our wishes. I think how you present things, as in "no questions, not going to happen!" makes a big difference.

[AmandaBL]

Monica:

I'd just tell them straight out that laboring is difficult work. Some people enjoy being surrounded by friends, but you are someone who needs quiet & solitude to focus (weather true or not - this works) BUT, you'll call as soon as everyone is situated and ready for visitors & you'd love for them to come with dinner and laundry or housework help!!!

I personally tell people in the same sentance that I'll be having him at home & that the only people at the birth will be me, my husband, midwife & doula... I follow that with "I don't do well with a lot of people around" That usually keeps the issue from rising. For the people who need a very blunt statement, I have entertained the idea of asking if me and 3 of my girlfriends can bring margaritas and our digital cameras to her next pap smear. ha ha Can you imagine the reaction to that one!

I didn't tell any of my relatives and one girlfriend in particular that I'm having him at home because they would freak out & probably sit in my driveway waiting on something to "go wrong". I'm just not interested in trying to convert them to my way of thinking, and I don't have the kind of family who can say "We disagree with you, but it's your decision and we respect you as an educated person and caring parent." ha ha I'd have a stroke if my mother ever said anything like that! I'd seriously call in the profesionals! My husband and I are also both only children, so the only family I'm speaking of is parents & in-laws. Maybe you'd have a harder time with a sister. I don't know.

Everyone:
So, my recent worry is "after pains". I thought it was so cool that after my son was born, the pain was immediatly & completley gone. I've been hearing that is not the case with #2 and more. I've read that even Tylenol 3 doesn't work. I'm not happy about this at all. (Not to mention I don't have any serious pain killers lying around) Does anyone have experience with this one? Please don't scare me. ha ha

[Changed]

I never noticed after pains with my second child. I heard alot about them but didn't find them to be a problem. I had a c section though. I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

[2sweetgrrls]

I can't believe how fast December is creeping up! I'm really excited to be having a homebirth this time around, we had a natural birth in a birthing center last time and while it was a good experience, I'm just more excited this time around to be doing this at home. My biggest concern at this point is my daughter - my friend who was there for her birth is supposed to be there for this birth as well to take care of Cordie (she'll be 14-15 months old) but she's been backing out of plans with us recently and I'm starting to get a nervous feeling of her not showing up when we need her. I don't have anyone else I'm comfortable with attending the birth, but I know I won't be able to concentrate on her, so I'm starting to get a little freaked out about the what-ifs.

[Mom2baldie]

Amanda,

Naiya was my 2nd vaginally birthed child and I had some pretty painful afterpains with her for the 1st couple of days. They werent really bad enough to need to take a pain killer for, but my midwife said that if I did need something, Alleve or Advil (I think) works fairly well. I wouldnt worry too much about it, they def. wont hurt as bad as the labor contractions will! Not sure if that helps or not...

[interbang]

I posted my birth story..

...in the birth stories thread.

Not the homebirth I expected, but the outcome at the hospital actually couldn't have been better.

Thanks,

[StacyL]

Originally Posted by interbang

...in the birth stories thread.

Not the homebirth I expected, but the outcome at the hospital actually couldn't have been better.

Thanks,

Heather,

For some reason I couldn't find your story. Maybe you can edit your post and add the link to it?

Thanks,
STacy

[Mom2baldie]

Heather,

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! Do you have pictures online anywhere?

Im very sorry that you didnt get the support and encouragement you needed from your midwives though. I had kindof a similar experience with one of my other childrens births and it was very hard to deal with. If you ever need to talk or anything please feel free to pm me.

[cinnamonamon]

Hi ladies! I skimmed the entire 8! pages, and I have to say that ya'll are getting me very excited!! Congrats on all the babies, & I'm sending to all you ladies at/near term.

I'm due in 8 weeks, and am starting to realize how close that is! 38 weeks is the day after Thanksgiving, and 42 weeks is Christmas Eve, so we have definite possiblilities for a holiday baby. I'm not sure about that, though -- I'd like baby to have his own "day," kwim?

I have a question for ya'll though. My midwife wants me to do a birthplan, but I can't think of anything to put on it for her -- everything I want she already does/doesn't do, lol. So what can ya'll tell me you would/would have liked to have written out? My friend/doula commented that I should put things down that I might want suggested to me for help with pain management, etc. Any ideas? I am also planning to have a "just in case" birth plan for the hospital, as well.

[interbang]

link to Eowyn's birth story..

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=188397&page=2

Thanks for your support, I do feel weird not having a home birth, but there are so many other things in front of me, the most important of which is breastfeeding.. thank goodness I have a great *free* breastfeeding support group here in Santa Monica.


Seeya,

[Mom2baldie]

Carolynn,

My midwife had me fill out a "birth wishes" sheet and I had a hard time with it as well. What I did was just put down what was most important to me. I would tell you what those "most important" things were, but I cant remember at the moment. I know that I REALLY wanted my son to be in the room when I gave birth so I wrote that down. I also wanted him to be the one to cut the cord and announce the gender so that was added as well.

The only other thing of any importance that I wrote on my birth wishes sheet was where I let her know how scared I was of pushing and I tried to tell her how to "help me through it" if I started freaking out (which I did!)

I dont really have any suggestions or anything, just wanted to share what I wrote on mine... Hope you are able to figure something out!

[cinnamonamon]

Thanks Lynsey -- any ideas are great! I think I'm probably going to end up putting "make sure ds1 isn't upset" about 20 times on there, lol. I am really worried about that as ds does not like to see me upset or hanging on/hugging/kissing dh -- apparantly I am *his* mama, so dh needs to keep his hands off. :LOL

[AmandaBL]

Everyone doing ok????

Any new babies?

I'm still pregnant.... and waiting..... I'm ready..... and anxious.....
can you tell??? ha ha

[sarahbay]

After Pains Remedy:

Calcium Tablets.
thats it! I took 3 at a time everytime I felt them getting bad, about 3-4 times a day.
they got better almost instantly.
Sounds silly and too simple but my after pains from dd and ds#1 were soooo bad, anything was worth and try

Oh and also peeing very, very frequently, somtimes I would hold it in without even realizing it because I was tired, or wouldn't feel it or baby was still nursing. But everytime they hurt, I'd run to the potty, and take my calcium!

Also to the lady who's worried about pushing. the Pushing actually feels really good! Once you get to that point you are soooooo happy to be almost done, and your body just kicks in. Almost orgasmic, it feels really really good to push. It's that head moving down, or crowning that burns. But women have so much power and strength, like 10 men at that point that you just find the way to push thru that burning. Your body will stretch, it's almost a miracle above science, but it sure does!

My best bud had her baby boy 3 wks ago, a VBAC at home!! I'm sooo proud of her!!! HI studentmama!

[Mom2baldie]

Amanda,

How many weeks are you now? Do you have any belly shots to show us?

Sarahbay,

Im not sure if you are refering to me as the person who was worried about pushing, but if so, I had my daughter a few weeks ago and I hated pushing. Again. Honestly it was torture for me. I am one of those that likes labor, but thats about it.

I dont think that pushing feels good to everyone, mainly because Ive read a lot of birth stories, even here on Mothering and quite a few women wouldnt describe pushing as anything pleasant at all. But I would certainly LOVE to have an orgasmic pushing stage if I ever decide to get pregnant again.

Anyways, congrats to your friend. I have had 2 VBACs and this last one was a home waterbirth. The feeling after a VBAC is like no other. Cinnamonamon will see soon!

[cinnamonamon]

I am sooo excited! I'm finally getting psyched up about it.

[AmandaBL]

I'm almost 38 weeks... having lots of contractions!!! Low, crampy, about a min long and 5-7 min apart. Not real strong, but regular since last night... didn't sleep so well.

My husband has a trade show tomorrow, so I think I'll go to the midwife & have her check me before he leaves again!!! (His plane leaves at 5am and he arrives back at midnight, but still!) I'm ready if this is it - we're both excited.

My house is a wreck & I still don't have my birth kit or the pool.... yikes. (For the record, I paid for the kit 6 weeks ago, but the lady that makes them "forgot" about me. nice. The midwife assures me she has extras, but still.) My doula delivers & sets up the pool, so that's ok too. Guess husband & I might have a mad cleaning spree in our future.

I did get my pics & they're good. I've got to scan one to show you guys.

monikita....
you still with us?

[Jemper]

Hi Ladies! Was away on vacation and have been slow to get back into the groove. Feeling the urge to get my house clutter squared away! The beginnings of nesting, I think....

I'm another birther who doesn't like pushing. My first m/w said most women either do well with active labor OR pushing; rarely both. I definitely handle contractions better. Thankfully, I pushed my 2nd DD out in just 20 minutes. Not liking to push certainly gave me incentive to be efficient!