<sorry in advance for being so long, but I guess I have alot to say about this...>
I dont want to discourage you, but I feel there are things you SHOULD know.
Tandem nursing comes naturally to most women I have spoken with, but is not easy for most of them.
For example, during my pregnancy I never questioned whether I should wean my 2 yr old. I knew I would continue to nurse her because she still needed it. I knew it would not be easy to nurse two, and read a bit about the problems one is faced with when nursing siblings, but figured that my DD needed me to do this for her.
Well, now the baby is a little over two months, and its not easy.
Most times DD sees DS nursing (hes almost asleep...YaY I get a break- nursing) she comes over to ask for mimi. When I ask her to wait until the baby is laid down, she whines and cries, usually waking him. Then he gets repositioned and we all have a nurse fest (which sounds better than it is). Nursing them both at once makes me wish I could climb the wall... Most of the time its too much stimulation and I have to tune it all out with deep breathing. I dont enjoy it very often. Yes its sweet when she reaches over and pats his belly while they nurse, but I dont think it makes up for all the times she has come over and pulled back on his forehead to get him off my boob. She is too young to realize that when she wakes him up, she has to wait longer, and every second she waits she whines and cries, waking him up more.
I realize that some of this is normal toddler-sibling behavior, but it is made worse I think because she feels she must compete with him. She nursed only 3 times a day before he was born, but now wants to nurse all the time. I usually remind her that she will nurse again at her next (naptime-bedtime, etc), but sometimes its not enough.
When its just her, its still not enjoyable anymore for me. Sometimes it is really hard not to just tell her no more. Her suck is painful now, it drives me crazy, and really irritates instead of relaxing me like before. Most of my feelings are hormonally realted, to protect the new baby, my body tells me to wean my older one. It is easy to accept that factually, but when you are experiencing that, its horrible.
I think my DD feels that I am not happy nursing her anymore, and she tries to nurse more to make me happy again. She is distressed, I think not only by the new baby who has swept away the attention that was 100% hers before, but by how I feel about nursing her now. It used to be our special time to relax with each other, but its turned into something that is hard on us both.
In order to try and restore some of the joy, I have attempted to limit her nursing to 3 times a day... The less, the better, it turns out. I feel better about it when we stick to only a few a day. I also have a plan for weaning her over the next 6 months, in time for her 3rd bday. Knowing that makes me cherish these last few months of her nursing and ready her for moving on.
My advice is to really think about tandem nursing, because once you nurse into your pregnancy you are commiting yourself to it.
If I knew how I felt now, I'm not sure what I would have done. My DD has grown out of the needy stage she was in when I decided to keep nursing her, but I still feel she needs me. Whether her need extends to a need for nursing or only of closeness now, it doesnt matter. I wont wean her for a while beacuse I want her to be ready and not feel replaced, as much as I think she is ready to move on. But I cant say Im not looking forward to only nursing one again.