Babies, babies, and more babies! - chat thread 9/4 - 9/10 - Page 3

[cottonwood]

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry! This is why having a due date is such an insidiously evil thing. I'm only half kidding! It's like being a little kid and waiting for Christmas, the anticipation and slowing down of time is almost painful! I tried to resist setting a date this time but to no avail. :LOL And my husband's aunt, who was due at the same time as me, first-time baby, went three weeks early (very healthy baby though) *and* had a short labor! I'm totally happy for her, but geez! I'm the one with the experience child-bearing body, *I* was supposed to go first! :

[banana girl]

D@&* Hard Work!

Hey Ya'll!

Jeez am I exhausted! Being a mom is so freaking exhausting! I can't beleive how tired and emotional and weak i am. It is so easy to make me cry it's ridiculous. Jen you better warn jo that tears are gonna be common, she better get used to it! It seems like every time i totally break down and weep something great happens soon after.
We have been really struggling with breastfeeding. Mielle is not latching on well and she dropped alot of weight. It's pretty scary waiting anxiously for a pee or a poop to reasure yourself that nothing is wrong! Things are getting better but i have to use a little plastic breast sheild to get her to latch and i am pumping to releive the pressure in my breasts. We had to feed her with a shot glass (cup feeding) for a while to get some liquid down her throat. I can't tell you how much my heart aches, and how happy and sad I am all the time.

I miss Jerome terribly and he's right here with me as much as possible. It is weird to have him close but not be able to cuddle and toch one another. We are always caring for Mielle, cleaning or organizing. I'm either on the toilet caring for my stitches or laying in bed with a baby on my breast. We never seem to find time to connect to each other and with all the changes recently I feel like a different person.... and he seems different to me. We really need some time to get to know each other in this new way.

don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic to have Mielle in my life... but I surte could have used another week or two to prepare for this change!

I hear baby cries... must go!

[plantmommy]

Anna, have you had someone look at her latch and help you figure out what needs tweaking?

Don't feel bad; I've nursed two into toddlerhood and was a LLL leader, and I got nipple wounds this time, anyway! Reid has a habit of not putting his tongue forward. With some experimentation I figured that he does better in the cross-cradle or football hold, and we're well on our way to mastery.

Are the shields due to flat or inverted nipples? feel free to PM me, and I can help you trouble-shoot, if you like. And, hard as it may be, try not to get discouraged! It's SOOO early, and correcting any problems at this stage is usually a quick process, as long as you figure out what they are.

[Caroline248]

Anna...a week or two will NEVER prepare you!! It will be an up and down roler coaster for the rest of your life, but you will love it!! Just try to rest. Are you taking your vitamins still? The exhaustion could be due to anemia, very common.

Linda...that is frustrating! My friend was due the day before me, and had a scheduled induction for the 23rd. I was so jealous, but i went into laobr anyway and Jackson was born a couple of hours before her baby!


Jen...we all whined and complained!! Do you notice though, often when a pregnant woman cries "I can't take it anymore" birth is near?? I had it with all mine, the day after I said this is it and spent the day crying and whining, I had the baby!! Do something special for yourself, go gorge on all the food you are dying for!! Always helps me!!


As for me..I am seriously thinking about giving this baby some bottle feedings. He eats every HOUR during the day. I have nursed him 7 times since 6 am. My nipples can't take anymore. I am so sore. I have nursed the other kids so I know his latch is fine and all that, it is just the amount of nursing going on. I ended up giving him a pacifier just to see if he was nursing for food or comfort, and he took the pacifier and is sucking away on it. I just need a break (well, my breast do). What does everyone think about pacifiers for this situation? I don't like them, but I don't know what else I can do...

Another question, has anyones post-partum bleeding been on again/off again? It has been two weeks, and my bleeding stops completly, then will start again a day or so later. It has been happening for over a week now. I don't remember that happening the otehr times...

I think I had more questions...I have to think about it..

Caroline

[plantmommy]

Caroline, do you express a little milk onto your nipples and rub it in, between feedings, and give them air as much as possible?

I'd just say, if you feel his need for sucking is greater than his need for nutritive nursing, give him the paci but watch very carefully for any signs if confusion, and make sure he's getting enough wet/dirty dipes.

[Robertsgirl]

Do something special for yourself, go gorge on all the food you are dying for!! Always helps me!!

Does this mean the entire plate of chocolate chip cookies I ate last night are gonna put me into labor??

Jen- Sorry to hear your having a rough day. I can see me being there by the end of today, I haven't slept in two nights and it is very annoying and painful. Even more annoying because I know all of this pain isn't labor! Hang in there.

[JenInMpls]

Well gosh, do you think being tired had something to do with it? I got up around 6:30 after 8 hours of nearly uninterrupted sleep - only 2 potty trips! - but after I typed in my ranty post, I went and lay down with some eye solace on my eyes, dozed, and Jo came in and informed me that she had flipped the futon mattress on our bed, if I wanted to come back and sleep there... and I did and I slept til 11:30!

People have started calling. We're letting the answering machine run interference if Jo can't get at the phone. Or sometimes we let it answer even if she can.

Thanks for the support, folks.

Caroline I too am fairly anti-pacifier but if your breasts need a break, they need a break. And as soon as Jo is done getting dressed, we are walking up the street to the greasy-spoon cafe and I am getting cheesy eggs, hash browns and pancakes. HA!

Linda I too agree about the due date being evil. I've been trying to tell everyone "beginning of September" from the get-go. Unfortunately, I can't purge dates from my mind for two reasons: one, I know exactly the date (almost down to the hour: Dec 11, between 9 and 4) I conceived, and therefore the clinic knows exactly the date I conceived, and two, I'm in the medical system and they just don't let babies go more than 2 weeks past "due". Actually, the hospital/midwives group I'm going to is one of the few, if not the only (Steph, what's St Joe's policy on postdates?) in the area that lets moms go *that* long. Had I been able to convince Jo of a homebirth, I probably wouldn't be quite so wound up.

Trying to remember to breathe... Sprout is stretched out with feet pushing up into my lungs,

jen.

[cottonwood]

I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding too, and the best advice I can give is to let them free! My problems pretty much went away when I stopped wearing a bra -- for one thing I had an inverted nipple and the pressure of the fabric just encouraged it to stay flat. For another, any amount of stale milk that comes in contact with my nipple, and I'm on my way to an infection. I just tend, for the first few weeks, to sit around with a loose shirt on and a towel under my breasts. Then eventually, the nipples toughen up and I can go back to wearing a bra once in a while.

[Caroline248]

Actually, I seem to be more in pain when I don't wear a bra, which is weird. I think because he eats so often I am overproducing and the bra holds it in a little. I do expreses and rub the breastmilk in. I was looking and he seems to ahve a small mouth, maybe that is the problem? He opens as wide as he can, but it still is a tiny little mouth! Well, I will give it today and see how he does, maybe it is just a stage.

Thanks..Caroline

[mum2tori]

Anna-
Welcome to parenthood. The second greatest challenge when you have a child (after the child itself) is keeping that bond between husband and wife. I know you are having a lot of strange feelings and emotions right now... THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL!!! Honestly, yes you are different people now, you are parents! Give yourself time. Both you and Jerome need to find your comfort niche with Mielle AND each other. There is a reason why so many people joke about not having very much sex in the first year after having a child. Who has time? :LOL It's an effort to get a chance to snuggle let alone any other intimacy. Give yourself time. Mielle is a cutie!

HeatherB-
Congratulations!! Little Iain is so cute! Glad all that labor over the weekend was productive.

Jen-
You are so close! Vent away!! Just remember DON'T use castor oil or blue cahosh to induce. The castor oil will make you sicker than a dog (and STILL might not work!! ) and the blue cahosh can be dangerous to the baby. Neither is worth the risks. Glad you were able to get back to sleep and rest this morning.

Caroline-
If Jackson just wants to suck constantly... and he'll take it... I say give him the Paci. Neither Tori or Jack would take one for any real period time. Even if I wanted them too. But it can help in those initial first few days/weeks when they want to be attached constantly. When it just hurts and everything is sore. And if he'll take a bottle, it might not be a bad thing. We tried with Jack but he just wouldn't take a bottle, EBM or formula. You're doing great!! The bleeding could be a couple of things. One Jackson it nursing constantly (hourly) that will continue to make your uterus contract and shrink, causing some more bleeding. Two you might be doing a little too much without realizing it. You've got a house full of energy-filled children and you are taking care of them too. Try to take it easy as much as possible. I have bleeding for at least 4-5 weeks with both and often had days without any bleeding and then it would start again. I also have a 'skip' day during my normal menses cycle.

I had the dreams all night about having Radish. No actual labor, just that he was here. :LOL Wouldn't that be bliss. :LOL :LOL I'm doubting that I'll be going anytime soon. I haven't had any B-H, he is STILL up high. I'm just feeling BIG. :LOL

The kids are back from MILs. They had a great time. Now David is leaving tomorrow until Sunday. Radish can NOT come right now. :LOL

[shannon0218]

Hi all, I just wanted to pop in and say Hi and Congrats to the new moms and let everyone else know I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!
For those who don't know or remember me, I was on this due date board a long while back before my third miscarriage.
I am now 17 weeks 3 days!!!!!!! Things with the baby are going great, I'm finally allowing myself to become attached and can really start to feel it's finally going to happen for us this time. My horrendous morning sickness has finally subsided and my IV gets removed tomorrow afternoon
Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that I have continued to lurk and cry each time I read one of your birth stories. My thoughts are with you ladies always.

[allibabble]

37 Weeks, 3 Days

I'd add "and counting," but I'm afraid JeninMpls might come kick my @ss if I did.

I've really enjoyed reading everyone's posts on this group, and am sad that I didn't find it earlier on...at this point, I relate to where everyone is, but there's no way that I'm "part of the group." Totally understandable...the "mainstream" group I'm in is pretty tight, and at this point, it's just odd to have someone else be part of the "in crowd." (but ma! I wanna be one of the cool kids!)

Jen, I'd say that I feel your pain, but I'd be kidding myself, considering that you're 3 weeks ahead of me. Over the past week, I went from realizing "I'm ready" to feeling impatient, to now (I hope this will stay for a while) just accepting the idea that I'm probably going to be pregnant for a while longer, so I should just relax and deal with it.

Congratulations to everyone on their new additions! I'm jealous, but apprehensive too...reading Anna's recount of how much of a change (and how exhausting!) having the baby around is reminds me of how much my life will never be the same one little bit arrives.

For me, I've had progressively stronger/more frequent B-H over the past couple of weeks, and looking down right now, I realize that baby has dropped again -- my boobs aren't quite bolstered up by my belly now. I'd cheer about that, but she's already dropped (then grown upward) and dropped (ditto) two or three times already...so I doubt it means anything.

Shannon - congratulations on your pregnancy - sound like this one's sticking!

Hope everyone's well,

Allison

[banana girl]

Hello everyone!

Shannon it is so nice to hear from you! I'm so glad you have been keeping an eye on us. My heart goes out to you, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to read about our babies arriving. I Thank god you have this child inside you to comfort you and remind you of the coming joy.

Jen I am sorry to hear that folks are harrassing you... I suggest changing your message on the machine to give an update and let it ring! You don;t need all the questions and "just checking on you's"! And get used to ignoring the phone after the baby arrives. You will find that you don't freaking care who is calling. Nothing is as important as feeding and caring for your child. Hang in there, it will happen soon!

Thank you everyone for the supportive thoughts and ideas about breastfeeding. It is hard to describe how intense and emotional this process is. Mielle is satrting to gain weight again and we will soon tackle the latch. She is feeding vigorously on the sheild, but it is such a production of preparing for each feeding instead of simply offering a breast.
I misplaced the sheild for 10 minutes today and just about had a panic attack about it.
We did have a lactation consultant come to the house and work with us for 2 hours. She left a medela double pump with us and I'm having to freeze milk cause my supply is so ridiculously ample. I can feed her for a half an hour or more and then pump 4 more ounces in about 5 minutes!

Things are coming together and I am very happy..... just very intense. About everything.

Being in love. You know how when you first fall in love everything makes you think of the person you love? Every song is about them.... Every thing reminds you of them... You assign sentimental value to random objects that they have touched, used... discarded? It is ridiculous! My mom was joking that I was gonna cut up a peice of carpet from the floor where she was born! I am so infatuated with my daughter, it's silly.

Well I should get off the computer... it is so nice to be able to connect with you guys again. I have missed you all and have been wondering how everyone was doing. I hope you enjoyed seeing the photos of labor. It was such an amazing journey. I'm looking forward to writing out my birth story and sharing it.

hugs to all, and peace and joy!

Hey note to all.
LIMIT THE COMPANY THAT COMES TO MEET THE BABY!!!!!! I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. BE SELFISH FOR YOUR BABY'S SAKE. SAY NO TO VISITORS. YOU BOTH NEED THE REST AND BABY BONDING VERY BADLY!!!!!! EVEN THE BEST OF VISITOR DISRUPT "THE FLOW".
BE FIRM, BUT KIND!

[indiana ima]

Originally Posted by banana girl

LIMIT THE COMPANY THAT COMES TO MEET THE BABY!!!!!!

Ooh, this is so individual. For me and mine, the more visitors the better. I will definitely have a 2 year old and a 4 year old who will be suffering for attention. : And I am pretty sure my beloved spouse will take very little time off work. Especially since he took off two half days last week because I kept thinking I was going to go into labor any freakin' minute. Grrrr. :

My point is, not only do I want people to visit, I want to press them into service. Yes, you can come over, and would you bring over a gallon of milk? Would you entertain my other kids? :nana: Would you hold the newborn for a few while I shower my older two with kisses?

Anyway, the baby stopped flipping and flopping like crazy and I got a little freaked, so I called my midwife. (Baby was still moving, just sort of... langorously. ) My midwife says the baby is doing great and I'm at 4cm - easily stretched to 5cm. I've been really crampy since she stripped my membranes. She thinks the baby's position might be the reason I've not gone into labor and she recommended pelvic rocks. Of course, if the problem is a hand in the way, the rocks won't help. I bought castor oil today and plan to take it tomorrow if I'm still pregnant. Which, of course, I will be.

Anyway, I've done some pelvic rocks. I hope they help.

[cottonwood]

"LIMIT THE COMPANY THAT COMES TO MEET THE BABY!!!!!! I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH."

Oh, this is totally true for me. It took me until the third baby to really figure it out, because you know in our culture the picture we're all given from the time we're little is of the whole exciting adventure trip to the hospital, and having people pay lots of attention to you during the labor and afterwards. I don't know how that became the norm but I do know that for many women it disturbs the natural process of labor and postpartum recovery and bonding. One reason is that due to the hormones you are more open and aware than ever, and this makes you very vulnerable to people's energy. It's totally normal, but most people don't really get it and are even offended by it. So anyway, I've just come to realize that I can't have people around (in general, there are a few people that are borderline) in the weeks preceding the birth, during the labor, and during postpartum. It's practical for me to have people come by (for instance, to bring groceries or take the kids for a while) but I'm limiting visits to literally *minutes* and no one gets to hold the baby. My poor mom, who lives out of town so can't just come for a few minutes at a time, has to wait at least a week to see the baby. Thankfully, she understands! I've got a good mom.

[cottonwood]

Jen, I have to agree with Samantha about the castor oil. I took it to augment labor (meaning I was already in labor and tired and hadn't eaten much of anything) and it made the rest of my labor a living hell. It can also get through the placenta to the baby and cause loose bowels and meconium aspriation in utero. (I didn't know that at the time...) My midwife friend Pam says that several of her clients have used it and none have had such a bad reaction, but they weren't in labor when they started it, so that may have made the difference. Regardless, I will NEVER do that again.

Oh, I am currently having a serious amount of cramping and loose bowels. Also very emotional and sensitive. Still have brownish discharge. Could it possibly be? Maybe in the next couple days. When I get off of here I'm going to call the inlaws, see if they'll watch the kids for a couple hours, and get Scott to come shopping with me. Usually I do all the shopping by myself, but for some reason I just want him with me. Gotta get -- frozen food, paper plates, and menstrual pads!

[plantmommy]

Linda, that sounds like things are starting to happen!

I agree with the limiting visitors. I allowed my in-laws to come yesterday, since it was dh's birthday, and I felt so horrible when they left, both emotionally and physically. Doesn't help that they have never brought anything to the mom of their grandchildren after a single birth! And... brought gifts for the baby, but not for the siblings.

I'm grumpy aboutt hat right now - I've gotten a card from my dad and step-mom, who are holding off their visit voluntarily to give us time together. I got a fruit basket from one neighbor (WONDERFUL!) and some baby clothes from another, and the baby clothes from the in-laws. But nobody but the fruity-neighbor (teehee!) has brought anything for me. Hard to believe that a neighbor, from a block over, even, is the only one to give ME anything. The fruit was the perfect gift, though; easy snacking for all of us.

[JenInMpls]

My thoughtful sister sent us a "Midnight Feeding" Gift Box from Zingerman's Deli in Ann Arbor, MI. She lives very close by the deli and we all love Zingerman's. Unfortunately the contents of the box (sour cream coffeecake, loaf of farm bread, jar each of olives, honey and strawberry jam, sausage, aged cheddar cheese, 2 of Zingerman's famous brownies and a huge hazelnut nougat chocolate cigar) look like they'll be gone before the kid ever gets here! The Zingerman's bib, however, will last a long time!

When kid is here, our only first visitors will be the food train, and they are instructed to leave right away or do a chore. Our house will probably be cleaner than it's ever been.

I am off to bake a plum cake (tomorrow is another berry share delivery and I've got all of these plums...). If the recipe is any good, I'll post it. It looks ridiculously simple which is why I picked it out.

[mum2tori]

39 weeks 1 day

Getting ready to head off to bed and thought I'd check in before I did.

I agree and disagree about the visitors. :LOL I got what I felt like was totally "abandoned" after Tori was born. We came home from the hospital on Saturday afternoon. My mom followed us from the the hospital and then went home that evening. Monday morning David went back to work. I was totally alone with Tori and felt so abandoned. No one came by because they didn't want to "disturb" us. Then with Jackson, I really wanted a few people around to keep Tori from feeling displaced while Jack was permanately attached to me. My mom was going to come by and spend the day for two weeks. David's mom was going to come and stay at night. David had to go right back to work (he had the couple of days off while we were in the hospital.) My mom came by for 4 days then went back to work (without telling us directly that she wasn't coming by anymore ). She also made me mad (which is why I think she putted what she did) because I specifically asked her to play with Tori so I could concentrate on Jack. All she wanted to do was hold Jack. : Then MIL called the night we came home from the hospital to see how we were doing (she was suppose to stay over each night). Apparently my saying everything was going good meant she didn't need to come and she said okay I'll talk to you in a couple of days and hung up. : We didn't hear from her for over a week or so. This time I don't give a #*@^ if any of them want to come over or not. Okay, I guess I'm still a little peeved over that. :LOL :LOL

Ironic the time I wanted people around the most, when Tori was a newborn and I felt so overwhelmed and unsure was when no one was around. Now I feel like an old hand at the "parenting" thing (:LOL as much as any parent can feel ) and would love to have that total one-on-one with Radish but have two other children that will want have Mommy too. Sigh.

Thankfully David is here all the time and doesn't have to leave to go to work so he'll be here to entertain Tori and Jack. I plan on staying in bed resting as much as possible (maybe with the laptop ) and with Radish as much as I can for at least a week or so. I'm letting David take care of the kids and the house this time.

I think if people DO want to visit, they should make themselves useful. Bring a meal, do a chore, something to help, entertain the other children. And I'm so amazed at how people ignore the other children : and the mom. Only baby gets a gift? That's sad.

I'm so pissed right now. Our freezer is going out... AGAIN! We bought the damn thing from Sears 18 months ago (right before Jack was born). This is the SECOND time it has gone out. Last November it flipped out and stopped working. Luckily we'd paid for the warranty plan that covered "replacement" of the food. I had JUST gone to Sam's the week before! It didn't cover everything but replaced most of what we had in the freezer. So the guy comes out and "fixes" it. We went from having a freezer that had coils inside, a quick freeze feature, and an alarm to a freezer with the coils on the back, no temperature control feature and none of the other features worked anymore either. We didn't realize they didn't work for a couple of weeks. And David said he was going to contact Sears about it but never did. So we paid for a mid-level freezer and ended up with a stripper base model. And then tonight, David went out to get some chicken breasts out and everything is defrosting. We are going to lose everything out there again! : : And of course it happened on a holiday. David is going to call them tomorrow and . Before he leaves for Austin for 5 days. Good thing I didn't make it to Sam's yesterday. I was going to buy a bunch of food for when Radish gets here. UGH!!!

I don't need this stress. :

[Caroline248]

Samantha, that freezer sounds terrible! I didn't know you could get a warrenty that covers food. The resting in bed sounds so nice...I have never done that after my babies were born. Maybe I should start now!!

Jen, I hope it is not too late..DON'T DO THE CASTOR OIL!!! It is vile and nasty stuff! I tried it with Lilly (she was two weeks "late"). Ugh, yuck.

Shannon, it is always nice to "see" you. How are you doing? Are you off the medications? Feeling better?

About visitors, I like them. At least the ones who come here are helpful and I can relax with the baby. My one friend has come over twice just to bathe my girls, and another one came over to hold the baby while I took a nice long bath myself. I also had people bring food, which was the best thing! I think it depends on how many kids you have too, as much as lounging with your baby and getting to know him/her seems so nice, it ain't happening here!! I still have three other kids, a dog, and school starting!! I will take any help I can get!

Caroline