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Need to surround myself with support for a minute

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Support, encouragement, thoughts welcomed!

Tandem nursing a 1yr old and a 2 yr old. One cutting two yr molars, one cutting 1 yr molars. No help as dh is gone *again*. No sleep as both want to nurse all night. No break to breathe, workout, clean, do laundry, nothing. And if I hear one more time that it's my own fault for *allowing* them to become so dependant on me, I'm going to FLIP OUT!!!!!

Remind me, please. I am doing the right thing. I am respecting them. I am allowing them to wean on their own. I am trusting them to communicate their needs to me. I am, I am, I am.....

Whew! Okay, thanks.....
post #2 of 14
2 and remember this to shall pass. HAng in there!
post #3 of 14
2 You are giving your children many wonderful gifts and meeting their needs for nutrition, security, love, physical development, etc., etc.,...
I am still relatively new to tandem nursing, but I know it can be lots of work, especially when your partner is away. And, as for anyone who says they are too dependent your children are still babies...the idea of a two year old who doesn't need his mother is not only ridiculous, but sad.
Keep doing what you are doing. They're your children and you know what they need.

post #4 of 14

Try to remember that once your two year old is done with these molars, that's it (unless you are still nursing at 6)!

Honestly, I'd probably break out some tylenol right before bed time

You're doing GREAT!!!!
post #5 of 14
You are doing something fabulous. I know what hard work it is, and I have the benefit of my partner's presence. I no longer tell people I'm tandeming, because I felt so discouraged and alienated when I'd be whacked with that "dependency" nonsense. Way to go, Mama. You're doing the right thing in a backward parenting culture---and the results will be apparent in your kids emotional and physical health, and in your relationship with them over the years to come!
post #6 of 14
Keep going mama. In hindsight you will be happy you got your children through this painful and annoying tooth growth in the best way possible for them, with alot of love and patience and total snuggling with the things they LOVE most

There are definately hills and vallies when you choose to nurse your babies until they self wean. In my life right now, life is really nice to nurse my two almost 4 y.o(in Oct.) baby grils as they now understand boundaries alot more now. They get that these boobies also belong to mommy too, and sometimes, my boobies need a break from marathon nursing You will get there too, and it's not too early to start talking about giving mama's nursies a break for a minute. Now in the night all I do is say"Ok, mommies boobs need a break now, and they roll over without a fuss, and fall immediately to sleep,when before I would nurse them until they fell asleep and it would take 30 minutes of non stop nursing if they were really tired an dalot longer if they had a nap. Now I realize that nursing throught hte night kept them awake most the night because as soon as any of us moved, they would become awake and want to nurse,and we would have to start the whole process again. Now, if they wake, they just roll closer to me, and fall asleep right away. Thye have learnt to fall asleep on thier own without the boob in thier mouth.We are now getting ALOT more sleep.
For you, I wouldn't expect you to start anything in the middle of teething, but when all feels better, you may want to introduce booby breaks to you children slowly. But this is just a total suggestion.

I think you rock for nursing your babies
post #7 of 14
post #8 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much, Mamas!!!

I knew I'd get some much needed support and encouragement from the wonderful mothers here at MDC!

Also, T

I read somewhere that potty learning is such a huge developmental step for some kids that they experience a stage of neediness/clinginess/marathon nursing sessions. Anyone know anything about this? Toddler dd (26 months) decided about a month ago that she wanted to wear panties full time. She's done fantastic, with very, very little encouragement from us. But over the last couple of weeks, she's on meltdown mode over other stuff. I keep thinking it's her teeth, since she's got one of those molars through and the other one is *just* under the surface, but I've been wondering if some of it isn't the potty thing. And, of course, some of it is Daddy's being away yet again.....so much for such a little person to deal with. Anyone?

Thanks again!!!
post #9 of 14

My mom always tells me "the first hundred years are the hardest."

"This too shall pass" seems more comforting though.
post #10 of 14
I think it's amazing what you are doing and wonder sometimes if I'd be able to. Even with one nursling I have to remind myself that years from now, I'll never have regrets about the lost sleep but if I compromised my parenting values I surely would regret that. My ds1 is a teen now and I can see the value of my AP ways in the closeness of our relationship and his behavior (not perfect mind you but still so much better than I remember with my mom when I was a teen!). Your efforts will definitely pay off!
post #11 of 14
Keep up the good work.
Remember the BEST choices aren't always the easiest ones, sometimes it is a lot of work but the rewards will far outweigh the struggles of the here and now.
post #12 of 14
hugs to you. i tandem nursed a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn for only 3 months!! you are awesome for doing it for....what, is it a year now?? not having your partner is also a big deal. is there any way to get a teen to help out or a relative that you trust? hang in there!! bet you're tired of hearing that?? hmm, well i hope you do, and if you don't....please don't feel guilty!
post #13 of 14
post #14 of 14
2 you are a wonderful mom! your babes appreciate you so much it's just that they can't tell you yet.
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