G.O.O.D. (getting out of debt) Sept. thread! - Page 3

[kerc]

good idea about checking with the bank re: overdraft charges. i'm going tomorrow. What have I got to loose? I already have massive $$ in overdraft to pay. it is a credit union and, well, they've been very good to us. I dunno if anything will happen. The really shitty thing is that i started the online app for the backup line of credit and never completed it bc i didn't have time.

i have more to say re someone else's post, but gotta run bc i have dinner cooking.

[Glittergal]

Hi, Can I join this thread?

I'm happy to have found an area where I can vent freely about financial stress...for some reason I have friends with very little debt and/or very rich parents.

We had dd as a little surprise at the end of grad school. I had planned to work full time for a few yrs before getting pregnant. I just graduated and have (gulp) 92,000 in student loans. We managed to pay off our CCs and now just have a car loan. We would really like to get into a house but in the current market, are finding it virtually impossible. We have no savings. I of course, don't want to work and want to soak up my time with DD. If I went to work full time, I could probably knock off my loans pretty quickly because we do live frugally but I'll probably work part time and make use my salary towards school loan payments and childcare.

Since getting rid of our ccs, we have found some relief in paying for things in cash but are having a hard time saving because it seems like we have SO much debt that 10-20 isn't going to make a difference, so we spend it on iced coffees, occassional dinners out, etc. Anyway, my thoughts don't seem very clear tonight. Just happy to have found some other mammas in similar situations.

[newmainer]

oh, my. we have done the overdraft thing *so* many times, and it is irritating every single time. I just never account for the "little" expenses, and I always think- oh, this $5 wont' make a big difference. But then they add up- to bank charges.

not sure who asked, but yes, dh and I do weekly financial meetings. we've slacked a bit lately, but we're back on. For us, its just a good base/reality check every week. forces me to balance the books, look at what we have and for dh to tell me what is coming in, since he is self employed and there is nothign regular about his paychecks.

a couple things we've done...

-just applied to put our card with the lowest balance to a no interest card 'til Dec. '05. Hopefully we'll have it paid off by the end of this year though, that's my goal.

- decided not to repair our deck this fall, as deck season is basically over. will save and try to do in spring, and instead put energy toward insulating the attic, getting our bathroom plumbed, and baseboards installed. (FIL is coming to visit and help with house projects- yea!)

- getting my website up and runnign by the end of the month! (fingers crossed)

- continue to lower food bill.

-remind myself that the only way this debt is going to end is by us doing it- there' s no magic out there! funny how this is one of the hardest ones to accept....



So... i have a questions. my dd is 15 mo. and really outgrown most of the toys we have. I can't go out and buy a bunch more, even in used shops, esp. this close to Christmas. what are some inexpensive/homemade toys that she might enjoy? anyone with a toddler have recommendations?

bamboogrrrl.. i envy where you are right now. i want to by double paying my mortgage!

[luna-mia]

Hi!! Just wanted to join in.
We have $200 more to go and we will be c.c. debt free! Next week will be our last payment and I swear its been a struggle but the end if finally in sight!
We have one car loan and I really want to build up my savings acct. Our fridge dying wiped us out. We were just starting to do so good but these things happen I guess. Looking forward to some inspiration here!

[kerc]

glittergal -- welcome. my dd is a surprise grad school baby (both of us are phd candidates). Only we were both about 50 % through....so onward and upward we struggle. my laptop/primary work computer is in the shop as of yesterday morning and I am getting an amazing amount of work done without an instant internet connection. i hope to be done with the phd in may...we are a little lower on the student loans, but we *do* own the front door to our house :LOL and have a mortgage to cover the rest. there's hope.

toys....how do you buy your milk? we spent about 3 months buying it in 1/2 gallon paper cartons and then opened the tops, washed them out and put one inside the other. Blocks!
also yogurt containers and the like make fun containers to play with.
a lot of people here talk about playsilks. well...you probably have some ratty old sheet or something you can cut into an appropriate size.
egg carton + smallish objects to fill it with.
anything you can load into a basket.
laundry basket

I know I can think of more, given some time.

[Indigo73]

Toddler toy ideas that we've come up with.

1. Watching local Freecycle - got a Little Tyke Kitchen (ds' fave at the moment)
2. The standard pots and pans (He's either going to be a drummer or chef - lol)
3. Homemade picture books - I am an amateur photographer. His first one was a people who love me picture book. The series has since grown to constuction equipment, cars, boats/ships and flowers. I am currently working on 3 more: colors, numbers and shapes. Letters is a future project.
4. Homemade playdough
5. Homemade paint - currently an outdoor activity - maybe basement once the temps drop.
6. He has a little workbench we made out of scrap wood.
7. Boxes - we have a friend who works at an appliance store and get nice huge boxes

[Sweeney]

Nice to know I'm not the only one! DH and I came out of college with NO idea of how to manage our finances. We've acquired a mortgage (which isn't too bad), a car loan (2 years left), various student loans, and some serious CC debt. We live somewhat paycheck to paycheck, and always play the game of what bill aren't we going to pay this month?

I seriously think that the only time we would have qualified for a consolidation loan was BEFORE we had any debt to consolidate. What type of sense does that make?

We've had a card go to collections so our credit sucks patootie. I alternate from praying for a windfall, to feeling like there's no hope b/c even if we do pay it off it'll still be on our credit report. Does anybody know how a credit counseling agency vs. having a bill go to collections vs. bankruptcy works on your credit?

Right now we're budgeting with every extra cent going to CC payments. For back-up plans we have selling off the car we own money on (it's a convertible though so selling it in Winter is not really going to happen), or selling the house and moving into the cheapest apartment we can find.

I HATE money!

[kerc]

welcome sweeny...i can't say its a great thing to be among these folks, i'd prefer to be among the not-in debt crowd. But it is good to find people who are willing to talk about debt. It takes away the shame factor IMO.

our good things for the weekend:
1. our wireless plan is with sprint. we've done three years with them and have been very happy with them and our plan/our phone. happy until the last month or so when our service began to get incredibly spotty and very crappy. So...we've decided to live without wireless. we were using it for long distance, but decided not to stay with wireless for long distance bc we were getting crap for coverage. here's to getting some $$ back. probably not all the 40 dollars we pay every month bc we'll need long distance.

2. phone bill came (landline) and we'd paid twice last month? did ya'll read the above where I was very busy for a month? anyhow...our next month's bill is 30 cents. 20 extra bucks to put towards the d*** overdraft fees.

3. i was out running and got a free desk. It's a little secretary desk, but it will work great for storing erin's paper and such. did I mention it was free?

4. I did food shopping for the week and have spent 34 bucks this week.

[kamilla626]

Hi, I'm new to this thread but the stories I've been reading sound all too familiar. Especially that whirlpool of paying overdraft fees.

Dh and I were just talking about how we need to change our definition of what we can "afford". Dh feels like if he's got $80 in his wallet, then we can "afford" to go buy new shoes for dd or some new tool he's been wanting. But ~hello~?? If we have huge cc debt, and no savings, no stocks, no extra anything... we can't afford squat.

I make the same thinking errors. We just went out to eat last night, and all those thoughts of "This money should go to a credit card" ... I just ignored them and ate my steak.

I keep telling myself that we're doing better than we used to with our money. But I still just feel so embarassed about it all. I mean, we're both very smart people with demanding jobs. And we can't manage to do the 3rd grade math that's required for sticking to a budget?? Makes me nausous just thinking about it.

[newmainer]

kamilla- I *totally* understand where you are coming from. Embarrassment is definitley huge for me over this- not that i am embarrassed becuase of what others might think but for myself and the fact that we did this at all and its taken so d*mn long for us to come to our senses!! We have/had the same patterns you have- any extra money went toward "things" rather than just paying down our debt. In fact, we're doing it again this month- i got some money for selling books and our tiler bought some unused materials off of us. But, at least this time we're spending the extra money on things we actually need, like dd does need shoes and i desperately need pants. I have two pairs of jeans, one rather ill fitting. but, my first stop is goodwill, and then tjmaxx. the triumph for me in this is that we found other ways to get these things, rather than going into the red, or beyond our balance. i literally need to repeat to myself- we don't have the money, so we can't get it. rather than- oh, we'll find the money. that's what got us into this mess!!

So, in addition to comiserating, i would say that for several of us, the book Your Money or Your Life has made a big impression, and reading the TIghtwad Gazette is inspiring to me. Also, we don't do budgets. We do keep track of what we spend (loosely, we need to get better) and tally and look at our categories at the end of the month to see where we can tighten up and chart our totals. Hopefully we will see our expenditures fall, in addition to our cc debt. As they say in YMOYL, budgets, like diets, do not work. I guess there are soem people who they do work for, but for the vast majority, they aren't sustainable. I think the YMOYL philosophy is more so *for us*. I 'd be interested to hear what you think if you check it out.

good luck and glad you've joined us

[Peppermint]

Kamilla-
I can also relate to what you are saying.

I am embarrased by our debt situation, I would just die if my family knew how bad off we are with the CC debt, that to me, is the most embarrasing part.

We got into debt mainly from spending money that should've gone to debt or savings. I have talked about this before, we didn't get pizza from Pizza Hut paying with the CC, we bought that with cash, and then when we NEEDED new tires, we put those on the CC, feeling like "Oh, we just don't make enough money", really pitying ourselves, instead of realizing that the money we spent on pizza and a movie and clothes, etc. should've gone into savingd to prepare for "unexpected expenses" like tires.

I think the hardest thing for me is knowing that there really is no good reason for our debt situation, we really did do this to ourselves. My dh makes a livable income for us if we just live frugally, and if we had saved any extra we do have.

We have never lived WAY out of our means, like we have 2 used cars - a ford taurus wagon and an escort, 96 and 98 respectively, so it's not like we went and bought the Durango we wanted. It was an eye opener for us to realize that- "hey- we can't afford even the taurus and escort" and even without the debt- we are not in the financial set to have a Durango- we are not entitled, yk? And WITH the debt, we are not even people who can afford cable. We did have a sense of entitlement with certain things.

This thread has been great for me, even though we have slowed down a bit from when I first started this months ago (talking on this thread has slowed down, I mean), it is always on my mind. I have finally made the FIRM commitment to REALLY get out of debt, and create a savings, and most importantly, change the way we handle money and change what we feel "entitled" to.

DH should be hearing this week on a new job, he has one job that he is likely (knock on wood) to get, and another that he will have his first interview for. We have no idea what either will pay- but I keep hoping it will be more than he makes now- to really jump start our debt reduction. It's funny in the past I would've dreamed of him making more money so that we could afford a new vehicle or something like that. Now- it's all about getting out of debt and creating savings.

I am making plans to start doing craft fares with the "Irish" themed stuff, I am going to spend the winter crafting, and start the shows next year. This money would all go toward debt reduction.

How is everyone else doing on their paths out of debt? Right now we are about $2000 down from when we started.

[sm3247]

I just wanted to share that we hit another pitfall this month. We really had just enough to get us through the end of the month - and our goal this month was NOT to put anything on a credit card. Unfortunately, we discovered that DS is about to grow out of his car seat. His shoulders are just even with the straps on the harness, meaning he needs a bigger one. It isn't a horrible thing since we have another baby on the way and the convertible can be turned around and used rear facing in the second car - just frustrating that it needed to be purchased so soon.

We don't have outstanding CC balances (my debt consists of student loans, car loan, and mortgage) but tend to live a paycheck behind. Like others here, we have a habit of spending our cash on little things and putting bigger items on CCs to be paid the next month and the cycle begins all over again. It's incredibly frustrating because on paper, we have enough to get through just about any month - including surprises. Unfortunately, we end up paying for previous months surprises because of lack of planning. This month we paid for the travel expenses, etc. for my brother's wedding and now we have the new car seat to pay for out of next month's money. The worst part, is that when I hit a snag like this I get really discouraged and tend to give up for a while.

[Peppermint]

Shannon- DON'T GET DISCOURAGED! You have to forget the little setbacks and just keep going!

Is there anything you can sell on ebay or the TP to make up the car seat money?

[sm3247]

Originally Posted by Peppermint

Shannon- DON'T GET DISCOURAGED! You have to forget the little setbacks and just keep going!

Is there anything you can sell on ebay or the TP to make up the car seat money?

It's a good idea - I could get rid of the extraneous diapers laying around but that's not going to cover the Britax Marathon I insisted on buying. I tend to have the "if you're going to do it, do it right" mentality with everything. I appreciate the support and i'll try not to get discouraged but it's just sort of frustrating when you think you've planned for things and it doesnt' turn out that way.

The carseat wasn't a completely unexpected expense - I just planned on making it closwer to when the new baby comes. Also, we went yesterday to safeway to get a video (with our gathered dollar bills and change) and saw that they had a great sale on organic cereal that almost never goes on sale. We bought a bunch to stock up, which means that the phone bill will have to wait until the next paycheck.

[Peppermint]

As I typed that, I thought, "this may work if she bought a Cosco (like I do) but not if she's a Britax gal" :LOL.---Unless of course you also buy REALLY fancy dipes .

[kerc]

whew. can you hear that sigh of relief? the credit union just called. when the overdrafts appeared last week, we (finally!) applied for the overdraft line of credit. apparently when you apply for it they refund any NSF charges for the past 30 days. I almost started crying when the loan person called me to tell me that (and that I need to get over there to sign some papers).

we are discussing the merits of becoming a one-car family or selling one of our nice cars and buying a beater. it always sounds like it is going to work well and then it snows, making the bike less of an option for transportation.

------
small success: i've been hanging out our clothes 1 x a week (at least) for the past month, rather than drying. well the past 2 weeks have been dry and windy (when it isn't raining), so i've been hanging almost every load. electric bill was 15 dollars less!!
-----

and peppermint, please keep talking about the cash for now, credit for later problems. We have the same issues. I read someplace the suggestion that instead of putting every last penny toward paying down the debt, the real way to break the cc cycle is to actually have a backup account. meaning say i have 100 extra bucks this month, try to put 50 bucks toward debt paydown and 50 bucks toward tomorrow's expenses. until you have about 3 months operating expenses.

at this rate that might be 2020 for me!

----
this is getting long, but....I also recommend reading some background on the american culture of consumerism and debt.
the overspent american (by juliet schor).
affluenza (this was a pbs special as well, your library might have a video recording of it).

[sm3247]

Originally Posted by Peppermint

As I typed that, I thought, "this may work if she bought a Cosco (like I do) but not if she's a Britax gal" :LOL.---Unless of course you also buy REALLY fancy dipes .

No, no fancy dipes - or at least not fancy enough to cover the massive carseat.

In my defense, I really do have a reason for the marathon. DS was very large at birth (over 10 lbs) and grew very quickly out of his infant carseat. Thinking he was going to be an amazon child we bought a Marathon for our one car because it has the highest weight limit for a convertible. At the time I had a relative who worked for Graco who got a second carseat (to be kept at my parents for visits) for next to nothing. Last year we bought a second car because of my job and took the Graco to go in the older, less nice car a honda civic. He's grown out of the Graco which has very low harness straps, but he much prefers the honda to ride in. I looked into the combination and forward facing seats, but I prefer to keep him harnessed as long as possible and didn't want to put him in a booster seat just because it's cheaper. I've seen pictures of a seven year old in this seat and it should last a long time. We also live in a small town with few baby stores nearby. We know the marathon fits well in our little honda civic and is very easy to install.

I realize that's a long, drawn-out explanation for my carseat spending spree, but there is a method to my madness.

[Peppermint]

Shannon- no need to justify safety related stuff

We should hear dh's job offer money today---C'mon- BIG BUCKS, BIG BUCKS---NO WHAMMIES!

[sm3247]

Originally Posted by kerc

and peppermint, please keep talking about the cash for now, credit for later problems. We have the same issues. I read someplace the suggestion that instead of putting every last penny toward paying down the debt, the real way to break the cc cycle is to actually have a backup account. meaning say i have 100 extra bucks this month, try to put 50 bucks toward debt paydown and 50 bucks toward tomorrow's expenses. until you have about 3 months operating expenses.

kerc - congratulations on your small successes. I still can't convince DH to hang the laundry. He'd keep our house at 62 degrees in the winter "to save energy" but when he hangs laundry he'll do something insane like get the towels and sweatshirts out and hang them up and throw the socks and underwear in the dryer.

I agree with your theory. I think you'll never feel financially secure until you have at least some money in a savings account. I also think that the problem with using the cc as a backup instead of savings is that you never really get out of the habit of using the cc. My struggle (see my other posts) is that I hate taking the money out of savings when we need something and think if I put it on the cc we'll just pay it back with the next paycheck. We do, but it makes it impossible to see how much money we actually have and how much we're living on. there are just too many positives and negatives on the balance sheet.

[kerc]

the marathon sounds totally reasonable to me. Honestly the straps twisting like crazy on my graco infant carseat made me think I could never own another graco one. Apparently if the straps are twisted it doesn't work as well? anyhow we have the roundabout and a cheaper britax one ---? freeway?? which both fit our accord and accura well. Only once in 14 months of use have the straps twisted and it was really my fault that time. I my britax carseats. If I can't get my kid in it correctly I don't care how safe it is, kwim? and honestly...if my kid's not happy with her carseat/view/etc. I have to stop all the darn time and it costs me time. time is money IMO.

peppermint --->good job vibes <---- to you.