UC Questions

[wende]

I'm sure most, if not all, of my questions have been answered somewhere on this board already but I'm feeling lazy and don't want to dig through all the threads to find them. If someone has time to answer them I'd greatly appreciate it

I've had 4 hospital births so far. The first 2 because I didn't know there was any other way. When I was pregnant with my 3rd I went to a friends house right after she'd had a homebirth and remember feeling very serene. She was beautiful and glowing. I knew that someday I would experience that. Unfortunately I was on state insurance and they only covered hospital births so that's where my 3rd child was born. When I got pregnant with my 4th I was determined to have a midwife. Unfortunately I found a very medical CNM and didn't know where to look for someone else. Even more unfortunate was that I bled through my entire pregnancy and 100 ultrasounds later they never figured out why. When my ds was born 8 weeks early they found a large fibroid and removed it. I called the local (apparently the only) midwife and she says that I am not high risk and should be able to have a very nice homebirth. I meet with her next week. Now for my questions.

It probably seems strange or even crazy to some to go from 4 hospital births to a homebirth and then to start thinking of UC, but I just know that I can do it on my own. I just have a "feeling".

1. how do you prepare yourself?
2. how do you do your own prenatal care?
3. how do you convince your mostly mainstream (though he did try to nurse the baby when he couldn't calm him, lol) partner that it's not a crazy idea? And for those who are apt to say "just do it" believe me, I've considered it, but I feel like I owe him at least the respect to try to convince him to come around.
4. what kind of things do you need to have around your house?
5. how do you know that you and the baby are "ok" afterwards? Do you do your own aftercare as well, or go to the doctor?
6. is there any other important questions that I forgot to ask that you think I may need to know to make the decision?

TIA! I really do appreciate it.

[cottonwood]

These are pretty vague answers... for more detail I really recommend that you just bite the bullet and do a search for "unassisted birth" here at MDC and read, read, read. There are a ton of great discussions, insights, and resources in the archives!

1. how do you prepare yourself?

I've put a lot of energy into studying and thinking about birth issues, and for me that has been important to develop within myself the feeling that this is the right choice for me.

2. how do you do your own prenatal care?

I monitor my health mostly by paying attention to how I am feeling and being aware of what the signs of possible problems are. I do very little actual testing, but if I wanted to do more, it would be easy enough to do for myself anything that a midwife would normally do (you can read midwifery texts and get supplies from medical or midwifery supply stores. Some people who want official records, or to cultivate a back-up relationship, or who want specialized testing (such as ultrasound) use their insurance to see a midwife or OB during the pregnancy, although that can certainly create unnecessary stress and interference as well. It really depends on what your needs are and what trade-offs you're willing to accept.

3. how do you convince your mostly mainstream (though he did try to nurse the baby when he couldn't calm him, lol) partner that it's not a crazy idea? And for those who are apt to say "just do it" believe me, I've considered it, but I feel like I owe him at least the respect to try to convince him to come around.

The first thing to do is to divorce yourself from the mindset that hospital birth is normal and deserves to be viewed as a standard against which to judge everything else. That way, if your partner is attached to the idea of hospital birth, the burden of proof to convince you that *it* is a good idea is no less than the burden of proof is on you to convince him that homebirth/UC is a good idea. He owes you that same respect. T

That said, the way I brought my husband around to the idea was to just start talking about birth issues. I didn't have to mention UC at all, he was smart enough to draw his own conclusions, so that when I did start talking about doing it alone he already had a sound basis for understanding why.

4. what kind of things do you need to have around your house?

I plan to have lots of clean towels, and a sterilized scissors and embroidery floss for the cord.

5. how do you know that you and the baby are "ok" afterwards? Do you do your own aftercare as well, or go to the doctor?

I have read about what's normal and what's not (which I have to say does not always agree with what a doctor might regard as "normal",) and pay attention to my intuition. A couple of times I have consulted further with midwives and doctors when I had questions I could not answer adequately for myself, but don't see the point of doing so if everything is obviously fine.

[wende]

Thanks I'm only about 5-6 weeks so I've got plenty of time to think about it and research it, plus I've been planning to become a midwife for years and have recently begun reading up more on it so I've got plenty of books around on birthing and such...though I think a lot of them are outdated and not necessarilly what I'm looking for. I'll definately do a search here also. The biggest issue will probably be my fears that "someone" should be there to talk me through it and getting my dh agree that it's a good idea. He has already agreed to a homebirth though so it may not be as difficult as I think. He may suprise me

[nikirj]

For myself:

1) I have some medical training to begin with, which I think helps a lot (because I understand a lot of things really readily that might be tough to grasp if I hadn't had all that edumacation). I read a ton. I go through about a book every two days if it is interesting, but even if it is boring it will take a week, max, so I have a LOT of information at this point.

2) I keep track of my weight and fundal height, pay attention to the look and smell of my urine (sorry if that's TMI), pay attention to any potential symptoms, check my blood pressure every now and then, things like that. You really don't need to do any of this, but again, I have some medical training and these things are kind of second-nature to me.

3) If your DH is your biggest issue, I have some recommendations. If he reads a lot, there are many good books about the subject - I like "Unassisted Homebirth" as the first, because it pretty thoroughly covers the "why on earth..." question, then "A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" (doesn't sound quite right for a man to read, but it provides the necessary information about why a hospital birth isn't actually safe), and finally, "Emergency Childbirth" by Gregory White.

My DH isn't a reader. He's sticking to "Emergency Childbirth". I convinced him by having two healthy babies with very little help, and because he thinks I'm the smartest human being on earth and don't make stupid decisions unless I'm rushed (hey, I'm not arguing ).

4) Ditto on the clean towels, sterilized scissors, and embroidery floss. I also plan to have a bulb syringe. I plan to sterilize the towels by 'baking' them at 250 degrees for 2 hours, and I will also boil the scissors, bulb, and string. This is really all I plan to do (all those 'usual' things, like latex gloves, masks, etc. are really unnecessary when dealing with your own body in your own home - even for your DH, who has undoubtedly come into contact with your body fluids by now, and doesn't need that kind of protection).

5) I happen to know the whole newborn checkup - but for those who don't, in Ina May Gaskin's "Spiritual Midwifery" there is a section on checking the baby that is written in a way I think most people can understand and follow. I know less about how to check myself, but do have a general awareness of when I am doing well and when I am not, and DH has done the whole spilling-cupfulls-of-liquid thing to learn to gauge blood loss. I am concerned about tearing, since I had a 3rd degree tear with my first and a 2nd degree with my second child, and will check that and if the tears look like trouble I'll go get a second opinion from a Dr. or midwife.

We do have the UC Support Threads, those are great for getting information and many of these kinds of questions are answered - check them out (prepare to spend a lot of time reading).