Siblings at homebirth?

[BellaMay]

My babe will be 18 months old when his little brother/sister is born.

I'd like to have a homebirth, but am worried that he's too young to attend.

We don't have any family around to take care of him, and he hasn't been left with anyone for longer that a couple of hours,
and that only once.

I'd love to hear some mamas' experiences with having young babes present at their birth.

FWIW, my first labor was three and a half hours from first contraction to birth, so I doubt this will be a prolonged event.
But you never know...

TIA!

[Jemper]

My first DD was older (4.5 yrs old) when DD #2 arrived. My MIL was there to give her one-on-one attention. She flitted in and out during labor, she got a big kick out of pouring water on my belly. When I got to the pushing stage, she was disturbed by my vocalizing and played happily next door in her room.

I'll be interested to hear from other moms since my 2nd DD will be much younger (22 months) when this baby arrives.

Is there anyway you could have someone on standby to help with your little one? I think it's important to have someone there to pay siblings attention throughout the labor process. I remember when I was pushing with DD #2 that I realized MIL was in the room with us and I asked *several* times whether DD was OK. It really helped ease my mind to have someone on point to take care of her.

[earthmama007]

Obviously every birth isn't the same. But, I have noticed and often heard that subsequent babes are born in the night. It will be what it is suppose to be. I didn't think about it too much and this is how my story goes. DS was 22mo. I nursed him to sleep at 9 pm and he woke up about 20 mins before his sister was born. He stayed in my husbands arms because he was a bit tired, it was about 1230 am. After the birth He was very excited because there were people around and water to splash around in. It really worked out. If you think you won't be comfortable then I guess that would be a problem though. I always wanted any older children to be at the birth. I did however wonder how it would all work out. Sounds to me like you probably won't have a long labor so it should be good!

[chow46]

I think it would be wonderful if he could at least be at home when his new brother/sister comes! Do you have someone--like a good friend--who would be willing to come over to just look after him? That way, if he is tired, hungry, confused, needs to leave, whatever, he's taken care of? Oldest ds was 15 mos when youngest ds was born and he was in the room. Of course, I really don't think he understood what was happening but it was very important to me that he be one of the first to meet his brother--it's an important life-long bond!!

[muse]

I'm wondering about this too. DS will be just over 3 when this next one comes along, and I can't imagine him not being there, or booting him out of his own home for this baby to come along. But everyone I mention that too thinks that's crazy, and that it will be traumatic for him (and tells me that's why a hospital birth would be good.. ).
I think he's old enough and has witnessed me throwing up all day every day for 3 months so this will be nothing to him! But I wouldn't want my dh's attention to be taken away from helping me, and I can't think of anyone else I'd want to have at the birth. Hmmm. I think when it comes down to it we may send him over to the neighbor's for the "difficult" bits and have them bring him over when it feels ok. I dunno though, tough one....

[morgainesmama]

I had all three kids at night. The older kids just slept through the births; baby came so fast I didn't have time to wake them. I've read some beautiful stories of siblings though who vocalized and danced w/mama, and others of kids who just didn't pay any attention.

My backup plan, if I were to birth this last baby while DH was away, was to pull out the Teletubbies if necessary or just to pile the kids in the tub with me and hope for the best.

Morgaine was 2.5 when Orion was born -- I'd promised her I'd wake her so as Orion was barreling out I was yelling, "Morgaine wake up! THe baby's coming out!" She missed the birth but came downstairs and nursed before the baby did. That's my favorite memory of his birth. She was a bit worried about the blood though.

Kristi

[melamama]

my dd was 3 when her brother was born(nighttime-1am)
I had my mother stay with us so I would have someone who's whole job was to do whatever dd needed. dd was asleep, but dh woke her up. then ds ended up coming so fast once I started pushing in the tub that dd was in the kitchen eating ice cream with my mom and the mw's assistant.

dd helped the mw with all the measuring and diapering and swaddling, in the photos it looks like she is glowing, and I know it is one of her favorite memories.

I can't imagine him not being there, or booting him out of his own home for this baby to come along. But everyone I mention that too thinks that's crazy, and that it will be traumatic for him (and tells me that's why a hospital birth would be good.. ).

-this I can't even fathom, we've gotten so far away from birth as a part of life that people think it would be traumatizing. soothing your child at home seems so much more sensible-plus since it's their house they feel comfortable being with mom or not being with mom, plus you know that they can go where they are most secure.

[LizaBear]

Our little LadyBug just joined our family 2 1/2 weeks ago.

She was born into an inflatable kiddie pool, in our living room, at 1:50 in the afternoon.

I received her into my own hands, brought her to my breast. Her Daddy was standing in the pool in front of us, her big brother (2 years, 4 days old) was a few feet away, sitting in his high chair, eating a banana and pointing at his new baby sister while telling our doula to "See!".

I cannot imagine how traumatic it would have been for my son if I'd been away - he's only been away from me for short periods of time, and all except one of those he was with his Daddy. And then to come home with a new baby ??

[Angierae]

I loved having dd1 at dd2s birth, and she seems to have seen it as an entirely positive experience. Birthing at home really made it seem like a safe a normal day for her. It was important to have someone there for her, though. If you dont have anyone how about hiring a doula so your husband can be available for your toddler when necessary? That way everyone is there, your child feels safe, and you have support. At the end I didn't know my husband from the doula from the midwife. A stranger off the street could have been in my face--just as long as some was there!