can you send circumcision information to someone that is not your friend?

[loving-my-babies]

can you do this? I want to send info to someone who circ'ed her first but now is pg with her second. I am not friends with this person but I feel bad for the baby, and even though she says she is educated and that "there are arguments on both sides" I think she is misinformed and has no idea, she still thinks it's ok to circ and put a child through that kind of agony. I really don't care about this person but I care about all babies and any baby I can save from this, the better.

what do you think?

[Quirky]

Well, if you're not friends with her, you don't have anything to lose personally but I would take care not to make it a personal thing, KWIM? I.e., approach her in a friendly and non-confrontational way if possible and select your information to transmit very carefully to take aim at her particular misconceptions. If you just come across as the ranting and raving stranger/acquaintance, you may be less effective.

[loving-my-babies]

any ideas? I feel weird about just contacting someone and saying "please don't circumcise". people that have done that and feel guilty about it are very defensive, I am feeling she will be this way. I wanted to send a video of a live circumcision, unfortunately this is the kind of person that can hand over their kid to a doctor without even knowing what they are putting that baby through. so a live video can show them and educate them on how they strap the poor innocent baby and cut his foreskin off. how pain meds aren't 100% effective and they still feel pain. I feel I need to do this because I can't imagine putting a newborn child in that kind of trauma. please give me ideas on the info I should send

[Evergreen]

send it annonmously :LOL

[loving-my-babies]

good idea.... :LOL

[Quirky]

I think the problem with the live circ video is that a) there is relatively effective anesthesia, and b) babies heal from circs and go on to be (apparently) happy and healthy with no real effect. Unless her first ds had trouble with his circ, she may just think of the pain as something he has to get through to get to the desired outcome - "it's all over in 15 minutes and then they heal in a week or 2, blah blah blah."

And not everyone has compassion and empathy for a little baby, even one obviously in agony - babies scream like hell during and after vaxes, too, and look how many parents and doctors act as if that's just the price to be paid for a larger benefit, they get over it, blah blah blah.

To my mind, the most compelling information is not about what happens during the circ itself (i.e. the agony) but about what the baby then loses for a lifetime, as well as all the potential complications.

I like the Fleiss reprints you can get from Mothering - it's short but everything is in there. If you send too much you risk that none of it gets read.

Just my .02.

[Evergreen]

. . . or the Fleiss book

[A&A]

I usually say, "Here is some information that I found really helpful when I was pregnant with my son. Let me know if you'd like to discuss it further."

Of course that only works if you have a son.

[Quirky]

See, I have now gone back from giving the Fleiss book to giving the Fleiss articles because I think someone who's inclined to circ in the first place is not going to open the book, but might read the articles because they're short. I also think the book early on makes a tactical mistake by essentially saying all circed men have insensitive penises ("dowel-like" I think he calls them) and aren't good lover (I paraphrase here) which I think is going to turn off most circed men and their partners. But I digress - my main thing is (after getting the book returned to me unread) is that someone who isn't inclined to do circ research for themselves is not going to read a book.

[Past_VNE]

Originally Posted by A&A

I usually say, "Here is some information that I found really helpful when I was pregnant with my son. Let me know if you'd like to discuss it further."

Of course that only works if you have a son.

if you have a girl, you could say, ..."that I found really helpful when I was pregnant, even though I learned it was a girl." or "...when I was pregnant, until I learned I was having a girl."

For others wanting to send info: If you don't have kids and would be willing to fib a little, you could say, "My sister (friend) asked me about it and when I did the research I was REALLY surprised by what I found. I'd like to share it with you...."

Good luck! 2 Thanks for caring!

[AmandaBL]

This is something I do all the time. I'm a hairdresser, and I have tons of preggo clients all the time. I print off the pamphlets @ nocirc.org (free!!!) and send them annonomously. You get so much junk mail when your pregnant, I don't know if they even realize that a "real" person sends them. I live in a really small town so I send them from Tampa where I work. (I guess I outed myself! Although, if any of my clients are on here my pamphlet must have gotten through!)

[KellyB]

Hmmmm...I can understand the whole "This helped me when I was pregnant" approach, but that implies you assume she feels conflicted, and (if it were me) would come across the way religious converters do. Does that make sense? If people feel like you're trying to subtly manipulate them into something, they sometimes automatically close their minds and ears.
So I'd either go the anonamous route, or call her and be completely forthcoming, and ask if she'd read the articles if you mailed them.
I'd probably go the anonamous way, though. Seems like it would probably be more effective.

[A&A]

Anonymous seems creepy to me. I'd much rather know the person behind the material, imho.

[loving-my-babies]

yeah, but by doing it annonymus they would know where the info comes from (the city) so she would know its me!

[A&A]

Originally Posted by loving-my-babies

yeah, but by doing it annonymus they would know where the info comes from (the city) so she would know its me!

If she'll know anyway, then why not include a note?

[Teresa]

Of course, you could just send it to one of us & we could mail it to her from our state!