Need more help w/reluctant SIL

[Levi's Mom]

So my SIL who is "undecided" about nursing, has some pretty horrible nursing stories. Here's what she said:
"About nursing, I'm going to wait and see, I haven't decided either way yet. I'm open to all the advice anyone gives, I'm just not going to put pressure on myself either way or let myself feel guilty if I don't breast feed. both of my sisters bottle fed, Jane (sister) mainly because Max was very colickey and had a hard time digesting & Isabelle*was*lactose intolerant, she went to goats milk.*Eliza (sister) because Zach just had a hard time with it (I think) My cousin Trina*is going through a hard time*breast feeding, she has a lactose consaltant, Bella takes 2 hours to nurse, has to be weighed every time she is done, then she waits an hour to start the whole thing over again, sounds scary to me and a lot of work.You on the other hand had no problem. Also my diet concerns me right now I can't seem to get enough spice on my food, red pepper flakes go on everyhting.*My Aunt, Trinas Mom, she is a nurse and said now you can buy formula that is enhanced with the same qualities as breast milk.*But honestly, my mind is not made up either way."


How can there be that much trouble with her family and BF'ing? Everyone I know has had an easy time and loved it!
And I've never heard of the 2 hour to nurse thing, weigh them and then wait an hour, have you? What is that?
And then formula that's enhanced, yuck!

Alright, give me a comeback. I bought "So That's what they're for" and Dr. Sears "The Birth Book." Help!


TIA!

[marisa724]

Even the most enhanced formula can't replicate the live antibodies in breastmilk. They just can't. The formulas these days are trying to come close to the vitamins and nutrients, but CANNOT provide the immunities. That's all there is to that.

I know I expected BFing to be easy because my mom was so active in LLL and is now a IBCLC. We had every problem in the book. But it sounds like the problems she's listing are 'horror stories' more than the norm. Max and Isabelle both seem to have trouble digesting BM, a problem which is usually remedied by mom altering her diet (in most cases). A challenge for mom, but it can actually be very healthy for someone who wants to lose the baby weight to cut out all the dairy and stuff.
As for feeding and weighing every time, that's not the norm either. I don't know why it would take hours and hours, but that's a matter of not having all the information about that situation.

The spice thing, well that's easy. Spices are ok for nursing moms! What does she think Indian, Pakistani, Thai, etc. moms do?

[callmemama]

Sounds to me like she's already made up her mind even if she doesn't know it. Attitude can make a world of difference on success or failure.

[velcromom]

If you want to be gentle here's an article:

http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...ttle/wean.html

If you want to be direct here's another that doesn't sugar coat the issue:

Great article busting invalid reasons to formula feed


http://www.cs.colorado.edu/~kolina/a...f-formula.html

[mikeynabbysmommy]

Do you live near her? Could you perhaps convince her to attend a LLL meeting with you, and you can both listen to the success stories, etc. Maybe after hearing so many horror stories, she needs to hear how easy it really can be. Not everyone has a hard time (how jealous am I? haha)
Its just a thought. You could also try and see if you can get family members to chip in and at least get a nice pump, and see if you cant convince her to at least pump and bottle feed it. Its better than formula. and still MUCH cheaper

[TiredX2]

Honestly, she seems to have done no actual research but to have already decided (to formula feed).

I would go ahead and definatley point out that you can eat anything while bfeeding. American food is pretty bland on a global scale, and mothers in countries with *VERY* spicy food eat nothing out of their norm while nursing.

If you want to go into it further, colic & lactose intollerance (which is virtually unknown in infants PLUS goats milk has lactose, btw ) are *NOT* reasons that you have to wean.

I think that bfeeding is a lot (not entirely) about attitude, and with an attitude that there is no additional value and it would probably be a pain, I'm guessing she will end up with formula.

If she would consider going to a LLL meeting, that may be helpful, but it could also convince her that it is too hard, too freaky, or both.

[gotmilkmama]

I agree with callmemama. I think it's alot about attitude and sounds like hers could be better. I'm thinking back to being prego with baby #1 and of course I didn't know what it was going to be like but I just read as much info as possible and decided I was going to be determined. Determination got me through tough times latching on, SORE nipples, nursing sessions ALL NIGHT LONG, and a whole new nursing world when my twins came along.

I'm not so sold on "Oh I'll just see how it goes" when it comes to bf'ing or not. I think a mama making a commitment to give her baby the best is what makes or breaks its.

I'd tell her that yes there's a learning curve and speed bumps to bf'ing. But isn't there for all aspects of raising your baby! But the rewards for both you and baby are worth it. I'd ask her about what she means by "I'm going to wait and see". Wait and see what? You don't know if you are going to have problems until you get started, and once you are started you need to stick with it to give it your best shot, and by that time the hard beginning part is over and you are on your way to being a pro.

And mention how much it sucks to make bottles! I have to do it 3 days a wk while working with my pumped milk and I dread making those dang bottles! UGH!