Have you ever put your kid(s) in daycare?

[FreeThinkinMama]

.

[bluey]

I did. I wasn't happy about it at all, cried the whole first day back at work. I had a year long mat leave and started dreading going back to work almost as soon as she was born. I did manage to find someone to job share with so I only worked 2 days one week and 3 the next, and I worked the latest shift possible at that job (12-8) so she was in daycare from 11-4 when dh picked her up. That went on for 4 looooooong months. Then my job was downsized and I was offered either a severance package or to be sent to another job. I took the money and ran. I did get another job soon after (working a couple nights a week and only after dh is home ) because we needed the money. I am trying to work at home now so I can leave that one too.

I had no idea I would react this way, I always assumed I would go back to work f/t. I suppose because everyone else I knew at the time did. After she was born things changed..for the better I think. Dh was the same way, he never thought about how sending our child to be cared for by someone else would make him feel.

[rwikene]

I'm having a hard time understanding your definition of "daycare" do you mean like a daycare center or in-home daycare with a bunch of other kids.......OR a babysitter?

I would leave DD with a babysitter if needed, in fact I hope to be able to go out with DH sometime soon and leave her with some friends.

As for a daycare center, I would if I had to. I'd rather find other options first, but I'm not so dead set against it that I think it is evil of all evils.

Also, I'm going back to work part time very soon. I'll work in the evenings, DH will be home to watch DD. I personally have no issue with this at all. Trust me, this is not b/c we want to have some big fancy house, or nice car(s). In fact, we have only one car, its an older car but runs. DH brings home just enough money to cover bills every month with little extra. We have to pay off debt, and would love to set up some savings. Not every 2 woh parent families do it to have nice fancy houses, nice cars and tons of extras....some do it b/c they HAVE to!

[Parker'smommy]

Yes, I did. I hate thinking that I have to explain myself..but I will.

I stayed home with ds until he was 6 months old. At that time, we had exhausted our savings and it was clear that we couldn't make it on dh's income. Dh was currently looking for a better job. Sooo, he quit his job, stayed home with ds and I went back to work as a 2nd grade teacher.

I went back on a Monday. Tuesday, a job got a call back to an employer that he had gone on several interviews but had never heard anything back. My mom took a day off from her job and came and watched ds. They offered him a job, but dh turned it down when he saw the salary as it wasn't enough for me to stay home on. He told them this straight out and the reasonings. he felt strongly that one of us was staying with ds. THey called back on Thursday and offered him more money, enough for me to stay home!!!! Yipeee!! They wanted him to start right away, but he started in 2 weeks.

BUT, I had just gone back, and his insurance wouldn't kick in until his 60 days. So, I stayed on until his insurance kicked in, asked for leave of absence in 2 months, apologized to my class and parents ( which was really hard because they had a sub teacher BEFORE I came back, then had me for 2 months, and then had another teacher. I felt bad, but my family came first, and most parents understood and wished me well), and put ds in daycare for the 2 months.

It was the hardest thing for me. FIrst off, he decided not to take a bottle of ebm from the DCP ( who was sooo good and was within 5min. walking distance from my school). He would nurse at 6 am, and wouldn't take a bottle until 12:30 pm!!!!! I was pumping 20+ ounces a day, and he would only take around 6 while I was gone!!! But he survived and is just fine!!!

It was also a learning experience because I now know firsthand how working moms feel. It's heartwrenching, no matter what the circumstances.

He has never been in daycare since then and he is 2 1/2 and we have no plans to.

[Dar]

I'm a single mom. My kid was in childcare part time starting at age 2. The first semester (I was a student) it was 3 hours a week, and I was able to increase it slowly (I took a lot of classes via distance learning). She was in fulltime childcare for one semester, when I was student teaching (she was 4 1/2 when I started), and then for three months when I started working, the following March through June. Some was centers, some was at home, we had great experiences with both and not so great experiences with both.

I guess she was in fulltime childcare the next year, too, except that it was called "school" so most people look at it differently.

Dar

[FreeThinkinMama]

rwikene: I understand a lot of people do it because they have to and not because of the luxuries. I feel badly for those people who HAVE to do it, I really do.

Personally we really struggle to make it work, we pinch every penny and have 2 beat up used cars with over 100k miles on them. We rent and probably won't own anything for quite a while. But it's well worth not going on huge vacations or driving a sports car like we used to before we had kids. I'm not complaining at all. I am going back to school so I can homeschool our dd when the time comes and also so I can start my own in home daycare. I know that probably sounds contradictory since I kind of sound anti-daycare but I need a way to make extra money and sah with my daughter at the same time. That way we can save for college and such. I know there are a lot of single parents and married couples out there who don't want to leave their kids in a daycare and I hope I can give them a place that they can feel secure in doing so. I know I would be worried sick if I had to leave my dd. I mean there's so many concerns when it comes to doing that.

To clear up my question I really meant a babysitter or a daycare on a regular basis, either part-time or full-time. Personally I would feel safer with a daycare because there's usually at least 2 care provider's and if one is losing their temper the other can take over and they're going to be watching each other so abuse is a lot less likely to happen. If I had to put my dd in child care I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her at home with just one person. I guess I'm paranoid. But with the daycare thing they constantly get sick so that is one bad thing. Then again there's the socialization factor, my dd loves playing with other kids so that would be good.

Okay I'm just rambling now Carry on...

[littleaugustbaby]

I checked that I plan on it. I'm not sure when, but I am going to have to go back to work, and I won't have a choice. I'd like to put it off for as long as possible.

[UnschoolnMa]

I never did put mine in. I worked at daycares often though.

[IslandMamma]

Originally Posted by DestinysMama

To be honest I have a hard time understanding wohm's. Obviously single parents have no choice but to put your kids in daycare just so you can afford new cars and a huge house? Or so you can feel fullfilled or useful by working? ........... to me my career is my family.

I really, really hope you did not mean this the way that it sounds.

Is it really SO WRONG to have other things than mothering feel fulfilling to a woman? I'm multifaceted, myself. I love, love, LOVE being a mother, but for me, I need other activity, too. I also love my work, and feel that it in turn makes me a better mother and a wonderful role model to my son.

To answer the OP< so far, I've managed to balance my shifts with DH's schedule, and also utilize my (mostly!) wonderful Mother and MIL.

I have lately checked out a day-care program, but we're holdiing off for now-- because we can. Many, many women do not have that option. In the future, though, maybe when DS is 2, we may start trying it 6-10 hours per week. He loves to social aspect already, and I think would be fine. It's ME with the issues.

[calmom]

I have never used childcare but if I could find just the right person for about 10 hours a week who would just play with my kids nonstop, I would do it in a heartbeat! I'm so stressed!

[Quillen]

When DH and I got our house, etc... we planned it to where I could stay home. I enjoy being a SAHM and don't like being seperate from dd too often. I think it is very important to get Mommy time, but I often get that during a play group, church, a RS (LDS Woman) activity, etc. Its not that I won't ever leave her, I just don't feel like I need to. With baby number two coming, I have a friend who is sure she is going to need a bunch of help and is planning on who can come stay with her when. I think its all of what your used to and what you can do on a personal level.

[FreeThinkinMama]

I'm multifaceted, myself. I love, love, LOVE being a mother, but for me, I need other activity, too.

I'm multifaceted too, I have many other interests, I can find other activities without going to work or putting my child in daycare.

[IslandMamma]

Good for you Rebekah.

Now please quit judging women who might {gasp} choose something different and implying that they are any less of a mama.

[littleaugustbaby]

Originally Posted by DestinysMama

I'm multifaceted too, I have many other interests, I can find other activities without going to work or putting my child in daycare.

Wow.

[FreeThinkinMama]

I'm just surprised that for an AP board there are so many moms who put their kids in daycare.

But whatever

[littleaugustbaby]

You know, I'm not really sure what the purpose of this thread is. Are you just wanting to be snarky, or are you really trying to get a better understanding of why some moms use daycare?

If it's the latter, then please try to be a little more open-minded.

[dr.j]

Originally Posted by littleaugustbaby

You know, I'm not really sure what the purpose of this thread is. Are you just wanting to be snarky, or are you really trying to get a better understanding of why some moms use daycare?

If it's the latter, then please try to be a little more open-minded.

ITA. I've never put DS in daycare, but I know a lot of really amazing moms who put do.

[Elphaba]

I'm a mom who does not work outside the home. I have had my daughter in a Mother's Day Out program before. And I've considered enrolling her in a Kindergarten here, but will hold off on that until we're feeling more settled here, if we do it at all.
And I used the childcare at the Y every day. I would still be doing that if there was a gym here that offered it.

[Alkenny]

I wnt back to work when my youngest (at the time) was 4. I
HAD to because DH and I were seperating and there was no way to make it otherwise.

I was fortunate at the time to have a college aged cousin and then my grandmother come to my home to get the kids off to school for me, watch them when they weren't in school, etc. People I could trust.

Since then, DH and I have reconciled, had a surprise pregnancy and here I am again. I don't miss my job...I miss a few people...but I don't miss my job.

[FreeThinkinMama]

The purpose was just to see how an AP board compares to other regular parenting boards I've posted on. I would have thought on an AP board there would be more SAHM's