|I also think THE best way for a child to be well attached is to have two emotionally mature, well-grounded parents who are consciously responding to their child with love, patience and understanding. I can't see how the pinacle could possibly be about how many hours an infant's feet have dangled in a sling, or who is sleeping where. I don't believe in formulas that somehow magically add up to some utopian AP parent. Until we have a perfect world (read never) there will never be any perfect parents - even here in AP land. We need to get over all this parading of lists & realize it's not so much about what you do - AP is about who you are.
What Bippity said.
I don't know why I'm posting here again
, but I feel this uncontrollable urge to...
I don't know much about the OP. But here's what I've been able to glean from her posts:
1) she's 24--reasonably young, in our culture, to be a parent
2) she doesn't have a degree (this isn't a judgment, just an observation--I know there are tons of wonderful, intelligent women on this board who don't have degrees)
3) she doesn't *seem* ever to have held a fulfilling job.
|Or so you can feel fullfilled or useful by working? I never really wanted a big career I guess so I just don't get it, to me my career is my family.
DM, if you're still reading this at all,
it sounds like you've found your identity being at home w/ your children. And that's wonderful for you!
There was a time for me (also when I was in my 20s, and I hadn't yet found my vocation) when I would've been happy to be a SAHM.
But...I had my dd at 36. I've worked my entire adult life, and I'm now in a career I find fulfilling (and no, it's not particularly "high powered," but I'm an academic librarian & I get to help researchers, students, and health care practitioners every day--and that's pretty rewarding!). I love my dd so much it hurts. But once you've achieved some financial independence, as well as interacting w/ other smart, interesting adults every day, it can be VERY hard to give that up. WOmen who work ft & then become SAHMs have a very high rate of depression. And I just can't see that being home w/ a depressed parent would ever be in the best interests of a child.