BFing and Girl Scouts -- aargh!

[morgainesmama]

I haven't posted in this forum yet I don't think; forgive the bad netiquette for skipping the intro.

I have been looking into becoming a Daisy Scout leader as dd desparately wants to be a girl scout. Over the phone the local head was enthusiastic, encouraging, and welcoming, said it was no prob for me to bring ds (6m) to the big meeting, strongly encouraged me to come and see what it was all about. Told her she'd recognize me by the baby on my back.

Well I walked into the meeting w/ds in a strap carry, left the older 2 kids at home, settled down next to an old friend/acquaintance (former LLL leader) and proceeded to attend the meeting, nursing Isaac as appropriate. Left feeling enthusiastic, was told by the Daisy director I'd be a great leader and they looked forward to hooking me up w/another mom in my town who wants to lead, etc. The training is this Thurs and had been told I needed to do orientation w/the leader before the training. OK.

So on Monday, I contact this leader, left her a message. No answer. So Friday, I called the Daisy leader. No response. I called her again tonight. The conversation went well until I started to say goodbye ....

"I've just got to talk to you about 1 thing." She stammered and stuttered and said that I couldn't nurse my baby in front of the girls. The leader had asked her to speak w/me about this. I amazingly kept very calm, explained that it was against the law for them to demand that of me, thanked her for approaching me, answered her questions, and hung up. Explains why I never heard back from anyone.

DD really wants to be a Daisy Scout. There are no local Daisy leaders. I'm spitfire mad. Now what? I'll wait til Monday PM to hear from the local leader woman about Orientation but I feel like they're stalling me so I won't do it. GRRRR!

Thanks for listening ...
Kristi

[AllyRae]

Holy cow!!! So, little girls aren't allowed to see breasts used for what they were designed for, but it's ok to plaster their walls with half-naked Britney posters? Ugh...things like that make me mad... Good luck mama!

[CaliMommie]

I would be upset too. Where was the meeting held? B/C if it was at the leader house I would think it is within her legal rights to say something about it, even if it is ridiculous. People like that drive me crazy!

AmiBeth

[morgainesmama]

The leader meeting was in a church basement. And GS meetings are usually held in public places now because meeting locations are required to meet ADA standards. This woman couldn't even say something to me personally, but rather had to avoid me until she had someone else speak to me.

I should really go to bed; the more I think about this the madder I get. DH will like it though ... I'm so ticked off I rearranged the kitchen and scrubbed the floor by hand! :

Kristi

[Vixxen]

Oh my goodness!! I can't believe that. You should find another nursing mom and go to another one of their meetings and nurse your babies...see what they do then!

[Firemom]

Go over her head, go talk to someone who is heads of the council. that is absurd. I am a Brownie leader this year, I'd welcome you at all my meetings.

Ask them if it would be ok to bottlefeed your baby. If they say yes, tell the counsel your going to get a lawyer.

[MountainLovinMama]

Wow! What a shame!

I work part-time in a school, and was so fortunate to be able to bring dd with me to work in infancy and young toddlerhood. I breastfed her at work, and was so glad to be able to model that comfortably to young kids and adolescents - boys and girls. Now, I bf'ed VERY discreetly - I had a few great nursing tops (from motherwear- good stuff) that made it so easy to nurse inconspicuously, especially when dd was in a sling. If you get to the point of any kind of reasonable dialogue with the gs crew, perhaps they would be more comfortable if they knew you were trying to be discreet. But, my goodness, what more healthy, positive role model could bfing be for young girls?! Good luck!

[soccerchic21]

Someone please correct me if I am wrong but aren't girl and boy scouts in a sense "christian" groups. I mean the credo's (sp?) have the word God in them right? So if that is the case then you can't use your boobs for the reason that God intended them to be used in their group?

REDICULOUS!!!!

Go over their heads.....I might contact a newspaper but I am snarky like that.

[MamaAllNatural]

It's so crazy to me that women are capable of things like this...mothers who have breasts! For feeding children! Hello!? So sad.
I would be SO angry.

I think it's a good idea to ask them if it would be OK if the baby bottlefed. I'm sure they'll say yes and then you can use it against them since that's blatent discrimination. Definately take it to the next person "up."

I wish you luck. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I just wanted to give you my support. Please keep us posted.

[nova22]

How frustrating! Shouldn't the girl scouts see you nurturing your child in this way? Shouldn't they learn the proper functions of their breasts before society turns them into sexual objects?

O/T, your website rocks! Those carriers are gorgeous.

[wende]

I absolutely agree. I'd be pissed. FWIW though, when my dd was in girl scouts last year one of the leaders called to see if I could volunteer a few days and I told her "no problem, I'll tell you in advance though that I'm nursing my baby and he'll have to come with me." She said "GREAT! If anyone else has a problem with that send them to me." Nobody had a negitive thing to say.

[Firemom]

Yes, it is a christian organization. But, do remember it is made up of volunteers who don't have the same beliefs. don't blame it on the whole organization, just the few who are doing this to you. I'm sure the organization would think its a great teaching tool for young girls.

[Ravin]

NO, GIRL SCOUTING IS NOT A CHRISTIAN ORGANIZATION. It is a secular organization welcoming of girls from all religious backgrounds!!!!

Sorry, that's a pet peeve of mine, people thinking so. Several years back, they actually changed the pledge so that "god" is optional and another deity name may be substitute or it may be left out altogether.

This sounds entirely like a local leadership being uncomfortable w/ bf'ing issue, I strongly doubt it's Girl Scouts council or nat'l policy.

ETA: Girl scouts is very much a parental-involvement driven organization. W/out volunteers, they can't function. So the leaders' opinions of local mores may have some weight. but they're also shooting themselves in the foot by shutting you out.

[mommybritt]

Ohhhh, I'm spitting mad for you!! That's outrageous. I agree with pp's that it's probably just a local thing as opposed to a policy. Good for you for telling them it's illegal for them to ask this of you.

If it were me, I would probably just go ahead with it and nurse whenever I needed to. If it comes up again, I would repeat that it's illegal for them to ask that of you and see what they say. If they do anything except apologize then I'd definitely take it to the next level and so on until someone gets it and fixes it

In Canada, our right to breastfeed is protected under the Human Rights Act so it's very serious stuff, along the same lines as discriminating based on gender or religion, etc.

[Bleu]

Um, what Ravin said. GSA is NOT exclusive, religious, anti-gay, or beholden to corporations for their funding. Unlike a certain cough -BSA- cough similar scouting boys organization. Though obviously there can be an individual asshole in any organization.

[Kari_mom]

Check out this article about a woman asked to breastfeed in the restroom at a GS event she attended with her baby and her daughter. Bowling alley article It implies official GS support of breastfeeding.

And this fact sheet from the World Wide Association of Birl Guides/Girl Scouts clearly supports breastfeeding: Fact sheet

I just like this article: Article

HTH!

[Konur's Mom]

You can try Spiral Scouts, too. They are a nonreligious earth based group.

[Nancy J]

I'm a wus

I know where you are coming from but my best advise, no that's not true-I'd advise you to go for it and make a point. What I meant to say is, what I would end up doing is going to the people and telling them that You would be more descrete. That it is important to you that your daughter has this experience. but let them know you do not agree. If they are anything like around this town you've already been shut out.

Good luck! I did cub scouts for two years and it was really fun!!

[morgainesmama]

Thanks for all the positive support and encouragement. I'm sure it's not a big organization thing but rather a local leadership issue. I am going to pursue it and be a leader rather than sue the GS (as has been suggested LOL). The thing about discrete nursing -- I'm one of those who BFs anywhere, anytime baby needs it but you'd only know if you saw me unhook my bra, even when baby's face is fully exposed, as I keep my shirt down around baby's mouth. It's fortunate that the other local Daisy leader used to be the toddler LLL leader ... the problem is that unless I can get to the higher ups ASAP this woman has stalled on training me (still hasn't contacted me) and if I can't get to this training Thurs. the others are all over an hour away.

It does say on the reg. form that for the training to leave children and infants at home out of respect for others, but I'm going to bring baby. Who's it hurting? He's only 6 months old; still a lap boy.

I hate living in this anti child society! Even the GS, which is supposed to be pro-child, asks you not to bring children to training, and local leaders can harrass you about BFing "in front of the girls!" Is there a scream smiley???

[HelloKitty]

This is so upsetting - I would be furious!!!!!

ITA with you about living in an anti-children society, it's disgusting. Especially when you are somewhere that is designed for children! Let us know what you decide to do.

Kitty