Terrible homebirth with midwife ended in a beautiful hospital birth....
So this is the story I never thought I would write...
I was almost 42 weeks and after unbearable waiting on November 4th FINALLY my contractions started at 10 pm…at 11 we called our mw, who is japanese and told her that contractions were still 15 min apart…she insisted on coming, we said fine. So she came and checked me (it was very painful because she wouldn’t wait until my contraction was gone) and told me I am 5cm dilated….i was so happy..
so she said baby will be born at around noon next day so we should all get some sleep. She was very positive about that. I couldn’t sleep. There was so much pain! Dh rubbed my back the whole night and also didn’t sleep at all. Several times I got into the tub, but it didn’t help….it relaxed me a little bit but didn’t decrease the pain. In the morning I started to throw up. Maybe 5 times and after that I was throwing up everything I ate that day. Couldn’t keep anything in my mouth. ….by noon my mw insisted on checking me because the contractions were really painful but didn’t seem to progress anywhere…still 10-20 min apart. So she checked me (again during the contraction and lying on my back felt unbearable) and said I am 8 cm dilated but baby even didn’t engage yet. She started to worry from there. She would check her watch with every contraction and look at me waiting for the next one. I could sense her worry (it was so obvious) and it didn’t help me to progress anywhere. I started to worry too, especially that pain was increasing to unbearable levels and I had no urge to push …contractions still kept very irregular….dh kept rubbing my back though them…I started feeling miserable. At around 7pm mw insisted to check again…this time it was long, painful check and finally said that baby’s head has turned to the side….so he can’t engage and get going…she said we should go to the hospital. I looked at dh…he said it’s up to me, but we both knew how much we wanted to avoid hospital birth ….so trying to collect my last traces of strength I said we would wait. Mw tried to turn baby’s head (so painful!!!!!) then tried to turn his body…those check ups were making me even more exhausted. Unbearably painful contractions, not being able to eat anything….and night without sleep started to make it clear that I couldn’t do any longer. Around 11 pm mw finally insisted we go to the hospital. I was at the edge of fainting...
Mw started calling the hospitals and no hospital would accept us without me being checked there before. So her after calling four-five hospitals I started feeling despair …not knowing Japanese well made it even harder to understand what mw was trying to explain, I heard dh crying and felt him holding me but was half conscious, and woke up with every contraction. By some miracle at last mw found one hospital that would accept me but said it was very far away. We didn’t have any choice. I couldn’t imagine myself riding in the car for an hour but what could I do? Suddenly I started feeling slight urge to push. I told that to mw but she said no time…the ambulance will be here. She ordered me to dress up. I looked at dh, he said do what you feel like doing. It gave me strength and completely ignoring mw I started pushing on my four. It felt powerful and I felt I could get this baby out by myself. Dh rubbed my back and kept on ignoring mw as well….After several pushes I told him I want to enter the bath tub. Mw stopped me almost by force. She told me no matter what I do BABY IS NOT GOING TO COME OUT, HE IS STUCK!!! Being very weak I finally felt tired of resisting and dh started helping me get dressed. Mw hurried us up saying the ambulance will be here any moment….I couldn’t hurry…and I didn’t want to, I was imagining very clearly to where we were going: me being separated from dh, c-section, baby taken away etc etc….I felt we were going to hell…..
Ambulance came and they carried me inside the car and suddenly I started feeling secure. It was nice being carried not having to walk through contractions….dh sat behind me, I couldn’t see him but knew he was there….but being very tired I fell asleep and woke up only two times with contractions throughout the way. When we came to the hospital they carried me to X-ray…I whispered something about “danger to the baby” but nurse told me that it wouldn’t cause any damage now…and frankly I didn’t care much at the moment. In the X-ray room everybody waited for my contractions to stop to move me, everyone would rub my back through them….everyone was smiling, caring….great contrast to the mw at home. My security feeling was increasing.
Finally they brought me to the delivery room and doctor has told me that my pelvis was wide enough to let the baby pass through, but baby is not engaged and maybe turned to the side. So the baby MAYBE can’t get out. He said he will break my water now and give me two hours, if baby is not born he will do a c-section. I begged him not to do this. I explained to him that being terribly tired of pain and not eaten or slept will give me no force to push the baby out in two hours. Maybe I can do this if he gives me epidural to reduce the pain so that I can concentrate on pushing. He said that in Japan epidural means c-section, there is no way he can give it to me now. Then I asked him to wait till I get rested. I begged him to wait…..he accepted and said he will wait only for a little bit. And then something very strange happened…
It was around midnight when they let me rest. Dh was all the time with me, rubbing my back, holding me….mw left us alone after she could sense we couldn’t stand her presence. Contractions were terribly painful….Every now and then we would call nurse to ask her when the doctor wants to break my waters?? She would come and rub my back and ask me if I could hold on a little bit more….that gave me much hope and strength and I held on….at around 6 in the morning I started yelling that I can’t do it any longer!!! She came and brought small baby with her ….he was like an angel…she held me the baby and I smiled…exhausted and with no food or sleep for two days …but looking at that baby made me realize that my baby worth it too….she asked if I could hold on a little bit more…and I said I could….
After around two hours same wonderful nurse came in and said she wants to check me…..after checking me she smiled and said that baby was coming down… I almost cried…..All of a sudden I felt sudden strength to go on…here the doctor came in, checked me and broke my waters….
Instead of making the contractions strong this made them weak ….they became more bearable and I started feeling much better….sharp pain went away and I started to feel urge to push….so I started pushing…on my four, my back, side …as freely as I wanted to, dh holding me and nurse came in to rub my back several times….at around 9 she checked me again and said baby has come down even more…she said we should prepare for delivery and helped me to the delivery room…I felt so happy…I felt the whole world was mine…they let dh with me and prepared themselves…
Contractions became weaker and weaker…one hour later another doctor started talking about pitocin….but I begged her again not to use it, I explained to her that it can make my baby’s heart weaker and I won’t have enough time….she accepted…
Until 1 pm every one was waiting for my body and my baby…dh sat in front of me on the bed and helped me to push...almost without contractions, which disappeared by that time, I was pushing the baby out….nurses would rub my back….talk to me…bring me water…but no one would tell me what to do….
at 1 pm our son was born ....his head to the side, hand over his head and cord over his neck...no wonder he wouldn't come out easily...
i tore very very badly because i asked them not to do episiotomy....
I will never forget the moment Ousama was born…..I felt so peaceful and complete….and now looking back at the whole story I know I could never do all that alone…. three of us did it, everyone doing his part, from the very beginning……
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: Tara!!! 
....thank you so much for sharing...so sorry for your terrible tear...hope you recover quickly..
: Around 7:30-8:00 the contractions were just coming too close too intense and I knew that this wasn't right and the pit had to be truned down. My doctors orders were even just to let me get into my own nautral labor and turn it off. By this time I was begging her to turn it down. She replies he can't until she feels how strong the are WTF??!! I asked her relly snotty what the heck does that do they are strong I have a very good pain threshold I know what labor feels like and this isn't right!! She insisted she couldn't turn it dwon until she put her hand on my stomach to feel my contractions so I just said fine and then a contraction came and she said that they were doing what they were suppsoed to do. DUH!! But not like this so finally DH yelled at he to get our doc on the phone and gee after about a second she turns down the pit and a few minutes later it's off!!! Well by then I was at 6 and having a really hard time stying on top of these cntrx. They were brutal. If she would of done things right I don't think they would of been so bad. Then the nurse ha the gal to ask me to lay down in bed to she can check me. I told her no you can check me standing up. Thankfully the nurse who I had with Liam did that I remembered that. So she checked me and I was at 6. Then the cntrx were not letting up at all and I was just miserable that I finally caved in and asked for a bit of relief. They were about a minute apart and really intense. So I had no recoup time to regian my control and focus. My doula was awesoem during this and my DH. The resident was even pitching in rubbbing my back. I had the best support team! Finally i got a tiny dose of stadol becuase I was just couldn't hack it anymore I was just so worn out. This helpoed me relax so I could regain my focus. Then what felt like a mintue later I had to push. I told my doula I fell like have to push then I was checked and had a bit of a rim left. My doula said to me don't say you have ot push until you do. I knew if i felt the brunign feeling it was really time but oddly enough I didn't I just had to push and really bad. So I just pushed and she was crowning (all ths time I had been slow dancing w/ DH). My doula told the nurse to get over her and we freaked her out becuase she was unprepared and my doc hadn't even showed up. She quickly had us move to the bed and she paged the residents on call to get in here quickly. Well I was on my hands and knees in the bed pushing her out and needless to say the resdinets were cluelss on how to deliver like this since 'natural' childbirth is so uncommon. Thankfully my Doula was right there telling them how to hold the baby and turn it this way not that way to get it out. One of the resdients did something and it hurt like heck! Thank goodness for my doula she was jsut so awesome. Then a couple good pushes and Tara came out. My wonderful DH yelled at everyone "do not anounce the sex of the baby I will do it" becuase I've been teasing him for 2 years now that the doc who delilvered Liam had to tell me the sex becuase he was so in awe/shock we had a boy. So Dh came over and told me we have a Tara Grace and I truned around and saw her and she was beautiful. So That is my long full detailed version. 
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