dating and relocating

[thevidatree]

i've been separated for about 2 months now, divorce is pending. but i have started dating someone. can anyone suggest any books that help children with this transition? dd is 2 years old, and at first saw my "friend" and a fun person, now it seems like she views him as daddy's replacement (which he isn't, but because i have full custody, he is around a lot more than my ex is)

also. the boyfriend is on a research assignment here for another year or so, then he will get a job at a new location. if he and i are still together then, would i be able to move with him, and still have custody of dd? on the one hand, i want to consider my ex's feelings about having his daughter move hundreds of miles away, but i also don't want to be limited to a certain geographical area.
is this unrealistic of me? is it illegal for me to move away?

does anyone have a similar experience? i need help!

[peggy]

I am bumping this up to make sure it gets seen!!

Hope you find some answers.

peggy

[mamaknature]

go to the legal aid office in your town. the one i saw in OR, said that this is a free country, we can travel anywhere we want, just as long we aren't forbidding the father visitation. it's up to him to either pay to visit or relocate.
definitely go to legal aid before and after you relocate.
good luck,
m.k.

[faereymomma]

Hello there,

Last year I split up with my ds' dad and soon after began dating. A year after that, I decided to relocate six hours away so my "boyfriend" and I could begin to blend into a family.

Needless to say, the relationship with my ex was shaky during the time of my move, but we had decided to enter into a parental agreement which helped A LOT. There is a book out there that talks about all the legal issues and has an actual contract in it. I'll find the name out for you if you wish. My ex has the book right now.

In the agreement we decided to "allow" each other the right to move within the US if we gave a certain amount of notice to the other parent and had a significant reason for doing so. The good thing about the contract is you can get as specific or general as you wish. It covers the most amazing things you wouldn't even think about. We also chose to keep it active for one year only at which point we would renegotiate it if necessary. This is a legally binding contract because we had it notarized and made it so. It keeps the courts out of it (which we seem to be able to handle) and keeps the costs super cheap!

The only thing I'm not sure about is he had a lawyer-friend who gave him a free consultation. I didn't pursue legal advice and therefore, his plane ticket comes out of the child support. This is a big sore spot for my dp, and I'm begining to wonder... My ex's lawyer told him this is what a court would allow, and I just took his word for it.

But lucky me, the yearly contract time is up and all things are considered renegotiable!

Good luck! And by the way, I started a new thread under parenting issues regarding blending families, if you are interested.

[thevidatree]

faereymomma,
I would really like to know the name of that book, so when you get a chance, could you email it to me. my email has changed recently, so here it is:

[e-mail]

thanks for sharing your story. it makes me feel better knowing that i'm not the only one with a "boyfriend" soon after a marriage.
i've been feeling bad about that lately.