How come no one else's kids act up in public? - Page 2

[lula]

My dd has fits, very loud, very public and yes sometimes regardless of what I do, how much she has eaten, slept, not eaten, not slept, been given options, practiced breathing, done yoga, been told yes, been told no, is grumpy, was very happy two seconds ago....you get the picture. Frankly she has been her own little self since birth, maybe before.

I often wish her little adorable cousin who is so complient and content to follow along just taking it all in would have just one fit in public. Yes, I am evil but maybe then my SIL would have a bit more understanding.....probably not!

I do leave places if they are places that one should be more reserved or ruin it for others (eg nice restaurants) I also leave if I am feeling tense because frankly I sometimes have overstimulation issues myself and a tantrum can make me edgy.

My dd has opinions, a strong sense of self and a determined independence. Things like not being able to ride down the elevator and meet her Nana at her Nana's car ALONE without me present can cause a major disruption in the force. This is the girl who wants to go to boarding school in New York including taking the train there herself but needs her mama's touch to fall asleep happy. Oh yeh, she's also three.

I try to look at the tantrums as a positive sign that she knows her own mind. I hope that I can channel it positively so she will be a strong determined woman who takes meditative breaths when under florescent lights because she knows they set her off.

[kavamamakava]

I take all the energy and focus I might be spending on feeling embarrassed and channel it into working with my child and finding a solution. It's public. We're all entitled to be in the space. If strangers don't like it, they are free to move to another area.

[Stacymom]

Oh, have I been there!

A few months ago, when my oldest was about that age, she developed a talent for throwing herself out of the grocery cart. I remember running into a store to get some teething tablets or something, and had a newborn in the sling and Abby in the cart at the checkout. Abby was reaching fo things and complainig about wanting to get down, but we were almost done and I wasn't going to chase her all over the store. I took my eyes off of her for a second to adjust my sling, and when I looked back, she was literally jumping, headfirst our of the shopping cart. She hit headfirst, and immediately started screaming, which then started my baby screaming. Meanwhile, we're supposed to be checking out, there's people behind us, and I'm getting the stink eye from just about everyone around me. One lady even came up to me as we were desperately trying to leave and told me that I really should watch her better, and I should get her checked out because she mighthave a ocncussion from the fall.

Can't tell you how many times we've had to stop what we're doing in the middle of a store, the library, an activity, or whatever and just let Abby finish with her tantrum. I think I'm gradually becoming immune to the dirty looks.

[waterproofmascara]

I've got a major fit-pitcher here as well. If she doesn't get mad and have a tantrum, I get worried that she is sick. :LOL
Seriously, Little Miss will be 3 in December, and she can't even make it through a grocery shopping trip without screaming for one reason or another.
She usually makes herself as long as she can by stretching and then gets stiff, which makes it really hard to hold her or comfort her.
I get lots of nasty looks because as long as she is sitting in the cart, I pretty much ignore her and finish what I am doing. There is no stopping her once she gets going.
The last time I heard "You should spank her and she will stop that" I looked at the lady like she was crazy and said, "You really think teaching her to hit me as well will help me out in some way?!" The lady scurried on off and we finished our shopping.

[PadmaMorgana]

if you'd like I am sure i can send you the security tape that show me leading a screaming DS out of the mall. Why? Because he was doing bad listening, had 2 warnings, and on #3 we leave.

let's see if i can recreate....

MEEEEE MEEEEE MEEEEE
NOOOO NOOOO NOOOO
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i just hold my head high and gently lead him out (if I try to hold him he hits me). Outside we took some big lion breaths (ROOOAAARRR) and some big elephant breaths (WEEEUNNK..that one makes him laugh), had some hugs and got in the car. Then he had a big drink of water and a snack. Usually his tantrums are because he is hungry/thirsty/tired and I say 'no'.

it hapens to us all, you just are in the wrong place at the right time LOL

[ameliabedelia]

My dd has opinions, a strong sense of self and a determined independence.

That is sooo my dd! I can totally relate.

Thanks so much for the stories. It really does make me feel better. I guess misery really does love company :LOL

[coleslaw]

Chiming in to say, yup, we're in the tantrum-in-public club.

One thing I wanted to add was something a friend said to me. She said (and I paraphrase) "I know that when the defiant, stubborn, tantrum-y kids grow up, I really won't worry about them. They will most likely speak their minds. It's the compliant ones that I will worry about." Food for thought.