I feel so terrible

[Isis]

Before ds was born dh and I had a talk about whether or not ds would be circumcised. I was against it. I don't really know why. I think it was mostly because I thought it was mean and unnatural. Well, dh thought the best decision was for ds to BE cicumcised. He was under the impression (as I think a lot of people are) that he had to be the same as his dad. Now after reading all that I have, I feel as though I've butchered my son! I didn't know all the facts until I joined Mothering and read all the articles. I wish I had done more research.

I don't really know what I'm asking for, I guess I'm just really bummed and feel really bad.

I do have one question... is we're lucky enough to have another little man, I don't think I would have it in me to put him through a circ. Is that gonna be really hard having 2 little boys who look different?!

I feel so sad for my little man!!!

[Quirky]

Mama, don't be so hard on yourself. Think about it - what other medical decision do doctors keep us in the dark about (except maybe breastfeeding)? You've got society, family, doctors all buying into the mythology about why circ NEEDS to be done....it's very hard to find good information if you don't even know you're supposed to ask the question!

There are plenty of parents here who circed their first (or even second, or third) sons because they didn't know any better but they kept later sons intact. If you do some reading through this forum you will find some threads on it. The thing is, knowing what you know now, you shouldn't inflict this on another baby boy - it won't make your older son feel any better when he learns the truth, and it won't make your sons more "bonded."

Maya Angelou once said something to the effect of "I did then what I knew how to do. When you know better, you do better." Definitely words to live by for all of us.

[Mewsin]

When I had ds the nurse asked me if I was going to circ. I said absolutely not, and that I had very strong feelings about it.

She then told me a story of a family who had 9 boys. It wasn't until their late 20's and 30's, during a holiday that they discovered that some of them were circ'd and some weren't. I guess these boys often slept in the same room, got dressed infront of each other, had baths together.....and no one knew that they weren't all the same.

[Frankly Speaking]

Lisa:

You're in good company here. There are other mothers who, like you, have discovered too late and some who have "mixed" families. My own father was the only one of 5 brothers who was circumcised. I have never heard of a single instance where this was a problem and I suspect you can expect the same if you have another son who is intact.

The only qualification for acceptance here is that you think circumcision is wrong at the present. Forget what you did in the past!



Frank